Author's Note: Okay, I know that I should not be starting another story. I already have two in progress and I'm probably going to end up overwhelming myself. Yet, inspiration hit me. I happened to glance into my mom and dad's room this morning and saw that there was a HOUSE marathon on USA.

More specifically, I saw a certain bitchy, adultery committing, slutty, crippling wench talking to Cuddy.

I hate Stacey Warner almost as much as I hate Jeanne Benoit, Nurse Rose, Juliet Blake, and Kathy Stabler.

Bitches that interfere with any of my ships deserve death, in my opinion.

I know it's fiction but still...

So, here's a House/Cameron fic with a side of Stacy and Wombat torture. Now, keep in mind that I've only seen a few episodes of the show so my details may be pretty off.

Guidance would be appreciated.

Basically, Cameron's in the ER and House misses her so he stalks her, leading to him being there at the right time. It also leads to some surprising revelations.

Let the fun begin.


She pulled up into Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital's parking lot and sighed.

Officially, she was here to support her ailing husband.

Unofficially and more obviously, she was trying to get Dr. Gregory House back in her life.

Mark would be dead any day and she knew House would take her back, eventually.

They had too much history to throw away.

Getting out of the car, Stacey Warner adjusted her too short black skirt...and was nearly hit in the skull with a football.

"Oh, my god!"

To her disdain, that little doe eyed doctor was running over, looking dishevelled and dirt stained.

What was her name? Clark, Cane...Cameron. Allison Cameron.

She was young, petite and obviously had a thing for House.

She wasn't really that much of a threat but Stacy could see the way he looked at her, sometimes and knew that she could become one. Scoffing, Stacey perished the thought.

She was probably a mid life crisis that she could easily get rid of.

"I'm so sorry, Mrs. Warner! I wasn't aiming for you! I was aiming for him!" she apologized breathlessly, pointing viciously towards the handicapped spaces behind her.

Stacey turned and saw a smugly grinning Greg on his motorcycle.

He looked...edible. He had on a pair of dark wash jeans and a black and silver tye dye shirt under a leather jacket. His battered sneakers finished the roaming biker look.

"Missed me! Missed me! Now, you gotta kiss me!" he sing-songed, blowing a raspberry.

"Hell, no! I'd probably get mono off of you, pill head!" she retorted, surprising Stacey.

The last time she checked, this little girl was a doormat.

Greg looked surprised as well as excited, sending a bit of uncertainty through Stacey.

How close are they, now?, she wondered. Is he serious about her?

"Ooh... so my former lobby art's got a backbone, now! Me likey!"

Cameron scoffed and ran back to a group of male doctors, standing out in her pink scrub pants and black tank top in the rapid action of the game.

Stacey sighed and came over to him, trying to kiss him hello.

He turned his head away so her lips found his ear, still watching Cameron.

"I don't think your dying husband would approve, Mrs. Warner.", he sneered coolly.

With a sigh, she turned on the charm, using the cooing tone that drove him crazy.

"Oh, come on, Greg... don't be like that..."

His face twisted and she smiled triumphantly, assuming she had him.

Instead of her however, he was watching someone charge up behind Cameron, looking determined to hurt her.

Leaning into kiss him, she was startled by a loud crack and House's gasp of horror.

Turning, she saw Cameron fly out of her sneakers and brutally hit the grass, dropping the football. She curled up into a fetal position, clutching her abdomen.

Before she could react, Greg was heading to her with impressive speed, calling her name.

"Move, goddamn it!" he snarled at the gathering football players.

Stacey headed over too, slowed by her boots.

Looking over, she saw Greg whispering to her, checking her stomach.

The little doctor was crying and whimpering in obvious pain.

To Stacey's surprise, he gave her half of one of his prized Vicodin pills and was wiping her tears away.

"Shh, Allie. It's going to be okay. I'll get you some help in a minute."

Then he stood, viciously stabbing his cane in the men's direction.

Never had Stacey seen him this angry, not even when he woke up from the infraction.

"Which one of you sons of bitches did this?!" he roared.

They shoved forward a blonde man, one of his fellows, Stacey remembered.

Dr. Robert Chase.

"House, I..."

"Save it, Croc Hunter! What's the matter?! You still pissed that she broke up with your sorry ass?! Does that give you the right to hurt her?! Does it, you fucking bastard?!"

"Oh, please! At least I didn't hurt her on purpose, unlike you!"

His cane swung, hitting the man brutally in the head, knocking him out cold, blood oozing him his temple.

He poised to strike again, making Stacey scream in fear.


Dr. James Wilson ran over, closely followed by Dr. Lisa Cuddy.

He practically shoved her out the way, trying to hold back his friend from killing the man.

"House, stop it! Cameron needs you!"

That broke him out his rage and Stacey could see fear for the girl in his expressive sky blue eyes.

She was being loaded onto a stretcher, now unconscious and limp.

"He literally knocked her socks off, Jimmy. She went up at least 3 feet."

"I know. Everyone saw it. Just calm down and stay near her."

He nodded and limped after the doctors, holding her hand as they wheeled her in.

Stacey moved to follow but a hand clutched her arm firmly.

Turning, she saw Lisa looking at her with enough coldness to make her shiver.

"Leave him alone. Go be with your husband. He's got enough to worry about without you raising more hell."

"What's... are they..?" Stacey sputtered, unable to even ask it.

It was just too impossible.

"Not that I know of but after this, it's only a matter of time. Leave him alone. Not only will you hurt him again, you're going to hurt yourself."

"Lisa, Greg and I have history. He wouldn't throw it away on that doe eyed little girl, would he?"

Lisa looked at her balefully and Stacey backed away slightly.

"Knowing House and the gritty details of your history, I'd bet my job he would. Back off."

She hurried off with Wilson, leaving her alone and confused.

Apparently, she was not as irreplaceable as she thought.