Chapter 11 '' Asleep''

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''It is room 101, across the hall '' Gibbs signed Ziva to Tony's room

Ziva took a deep breathe and looked at the room across the hall, she started dragging her feet, one after the other, and started walking towards the room

She stood in front of the door of Tony's room, holding the cold door handle, she took deep breathe in and another out

Tony how will you look like?

It is my fault any way. Tony please be ok

Ziva opened the door and entered the room, her eyes settled on the only bed in the room. Ziva's eyes widened at the site of Tony, she could not prevent herself from crying now and was thankful that Gibbs has sent her alone.

Tony was lying in the bed, his face still bluish, a tube was connected to his mouth and it made his bluish lips apart from each other. The tube connected to his mouth had its other line connected to a beeping machine that made Tony's chest rise and fall rythematically. His entire chest was bare but covered in a huge bandage that reached from his shoulder wound to his heart. He looks very helpless and dependent on those machines Ziva thought to herself Tony… you never looked like that Ziva thought to herself as she stared at the pale face Tony had

What happened to you?

While you be able to go through the night?

You have to pull through this, I will not let you die, I will not

I should have told you that I loved you when I had the chance, now I might never have the chance Ziva thought to herself as she was still frozen in her place by the look of the motionless figure in front of her

She started to move slowly until she reached Tony's bed side with tears trickling down her cheeks freely

She never thought that she would see Tony lay very still in bed as he is now , she have seen him asleep before at work , and even when they were under cover but he never looked like that

Even when Tony was asleep, he always has that mischievous smile on his lips, but now that smile was gone, only leaving a very deadly tired looking young man with bluish parted lips and a tube between them.

Tony had too many tubes linked to his body. There were two lines attached to his right arm which Ziva guessed to be an IV line and one that transferred blood as it was attached to a bag of blood. He also had several tubes attached to his other arm. She also noticed a tube that was going under his bandage to his heart Ziva guessed. She could not imagine how it would feel for Tony to see all those tubes linked to his body.

Ziva stood there staring at Tony trying to figure a way to help him go through that but only met with frustration. Tony looked very ill and she had no solution for that.

I am not in control of that, I feel very useless

Tony you look very helpless and I can do nothing

Tony you have to pull through that or I will kill you myself

Gibbs will kill you too, as I have heard, you should talk permission to die from him

Ziva to herself bitterly at the thought of Gibbs yelling at Tony for not taking his permission to get shot

Ziva then reached for Tony's forehead and started arranging his hair which now looked in a miss. She smiled to herself when she could not recall a time when Tony's hair was ever missy.

A nurse came in and Ziva pulled her hand away from his hair that she was playing wither fingers by now

The nurse's name was Emma as the name tag referred; she took Tony's chart and started taking some readings from the beeping machine. After that she adjusted Tony's dozes and then took a needle started pulling a blood sample. Ziva just felt really sad at how much Tony must be in pain.

'' Is he in pain? '' Ziva asked the nurse when she finished taking the blood sample

'' No, he is not '' the nurse simply answered which made Ziva suspect her answer

'' Are you sure?'' Ziva asked again with her gaze fixed on the nurse to detect any lies she might say

'' Well … '' the nurse paused as if she was considering her answer '' he has been shot near the heart and in the shoulder, he had had a risky surgery with open heart… he is sedated but not highly so that it could not make more damage to the heart''

'' He should be in pain… if was not in a coma ''the nurse concluded with concern in her eyes

Ziva just stared at her without even blinking

He is suffering, he is in pain and he could die and it is all because of me

'' So, the coma is the one thing that is keeping him from feeling the pain? '' Ziva asked again prying for small mercies to happen

'' I am afraid that our knowledge about comas is not an exact science, so we do not really know if he is in pain or not… but he looks like he is not in a lot of pain '' said the nurse signing to Tony's bluish face

He did not really look in pain but who knows what is going on inside

'' What will happen if he wakes up? '' Asked Ziva trying to study all possibilities

''Well... I am afraid that that will hurt…. Agent DiNozzo will be in a great deal of pain as he will not be highly sedated … as I said he is not highly sedated so it won't his already damaged heart '' the nurse said taking the blood sample and on her way to leave and added '' I do not know about you but Agent DiNozzo is better in a coma than waking up and suffering all that amount of pain and suffer as we won't be able to give him any sedation to reduce it…yet … the coma could affect his basic functions and memory … I am sorry but Agent DiNozzo is really sick'' the nurse concluded and felt that should not have said what she did as she found that sad concerned look in Ziva's eyes

'' you should talk to him you know, he can hear you and may be your voice would comfort him a little '' the nurse said with a small smile and left

Ziva was very shocked at the news the nurse gave her and how much pain Tony could be going through

Ziva then started to think of speaking to him and that may be he would really hear her. She did not know whether she wanted him in a coma or not, both options seemed very bad.

She brought the plastic chair in the room by Tony's bed side and sat. She had only one thing in her mind that she wanted to tell him and she wished he could be listening to her now

'' Tony … '' Ziva called on Tony by whispering in his ears and held his hand in both of hers

'' Tony I … I do not know where to begin... it has been going on for too long that I got stuck and did not know what to do '' Ziva said and took a deep breathe and started playing with his hair in her fingers again

'' Tony you and I … you and I are alike, we love our jobs, and we love teasing each other and McGee as well ''Ziva laughed at the recall of all the conspiracies they made together against poor McGee

'' I love you Tony '' Ziva whispered in Tony's ears and then printed a kiss on his cheek

Ziva felt a sigh from Tony's sleeping figure and she smiled a little

He is listening

''Tony '' Ziva began at the hope that he could be listening '' Tony you should pull through this, Tony if you are listening to me you should know by now that I love you Tony'' Ziva said whispering to Tony and she found him sighing again. She smiled to herself and said '' you should pull through it for me Tony, for us '' Ziva said that and then sat back in her chair holding Tony's hand , wondering if his sighs were a sign of him listening to her or is he just having a good dream?

There was a knock on the door and she pulled her hand away from Tony's and then she found an other nurse at the door.

''Excuse me, but it has been fifteen minutes already and there are some other visitors who would like to come in'' the nurse said

'' I know '' Ziva said then the nurse left and before Ziva goes she printed another kiss on Tony's cheek and wished him good night in Hebrew

Ziva was met by McGee and Abby in the corridors. Abby gave Ziva a deep hug and asked her '' how is he? ''

Ziva took a deep breathe and said '' not good Abby '' she gave her a wary look, Abby in return held McGee by his hand really tight and started crying.

''Come on, let's go see him '' McGee comforted Abby by taking her in an embrace

'' ' okay'' was all what Abby said between sobs

McGee nodded to Ziva and then he and Abby headed to Tony's room

Ziva went back to the waiting room and found Gibbs and Ducky sitting I the plastic annoying chairs .Ducky was having a quick nap, whereas Gibbs just stared to the wall in front of him. He spotted Ziva and she briefed him in by only eye contact. His face was filled with worry and concern and he did not hide this time.

'' Ziva, the doctor said that two of us can stay with him through the night '' Gibbs said with a sigh as he ran his hand through his face in frustration

'' I want to stay with him '' Ziva said not caring how she looked like. She had to be there for him.

Gibbs only gazed at her for a short time and then said '' I know Ziva'' Gibbs said with his acknowledging glare that he always had'' I know …Ziva''

'' You know? '' Ziva asked not believing what she was hearing

Gibbs laughed bitterly and said '' you telling me that all the looks you gave each other, all the jokes you say, the eye contact you make, the way you communicate without speaking, the way you anticipate each other movement, the way you each other's six is purely professional ? ''

'' I think not '' was all what Ziva said as she now processed how she would glance at Tony when he is not and he would do the same.

''All that time... you knew? '' Ziva asked Gibbs who only gave her one of his smirking smiles '' why did not you say anything?''

'' I thought I won't need to, but apparently Tony is really loyal to break that damn rule number twelve'' Gibbs concluded

Ziva was really thinking that she is dreaming. If her ears are not deceiving her, she would say that Gibbs has just given them his approval or is it blessing?

Where is Tony when you need him? That was the last thought in her mind before Gibbs head slapped her softly and said '' you would make a great couple ''

Ziva had a small smile on her face and then she gave Gibbs a hug and said '' thank you Gibbs''

That is it for this chapter. The next chapter witnesses the night Ziva and Gibbs will spend with Tony. The next one will include both Ziva's and Tony's POV

So stay tunned. And please review so I would know what are your ideas and impressions.