Revenge Gone Askew

By: CrystallicSky

Disclaimer: I don't own Xiaolin Showdown, nor any of its characters.

Warnings: Language, sexual innuendo, etc.

Jack was really starting to get pissed off.

What the hell was Chase's problem?! Just because he was hyper, just because he had blonde moments in excess, just because he couldn't kick ass on an epic scale like everybody the fuck else involved in the whole Xiaolin-Heylin mess, he had to reject him so brutally?!

Allow the goth to be the first to admit he could be annoying, but an annoying admirer did not warrant the harsh words and actions Jack was getting from the warlord: it wasn't at all fair that the monks could call the man 'evil scum' and be shooed away with no more than a slap on the wrists, and he would speak only praises and end up with his ass whooped.

What had he ever done to Chase, huh? Nothing! The answer was goddamn nothing! And yet he was pushed around, called names, and all-around treated like crap.

Jack was pissed off.

Now, normally, he'd pull the usual trick and be a total doormat; force down his resentment and anger at being so completely disregarded and allow the abuse to go on, because, hell, he had a major crush on Chase and the man was sexy enough to get away with it, but 'sexy' could only go so far.

"Leave me alone, you useless worm!"

"It's a miracle you weren't drowned at birth."

"Spicer, you are perhaps the most annoying creature I have ever had the displeasure of meeting in my life!"

Jack was really pissed off.

Luckily, however, he was, in fact, a genius, and since he just so happened to be a teenager, pranks in the way of revenge came quite easily to him…


"Chase Young, de-hand that Shen Gong Wu!"

The smallest monk's compatriots facepalmed at the bungled slang, and Kimiko took it upon herself to correct, "That's 'unhand', Omi…"

"That, also!"

The warlord smirked, casually looking over the spherical Wu resting in his palm. "On the contrary, young monk, I believe I shall be keeping this one for myself."

"You will not-…" Omi, along with all others present, froze at the sight of two black-clad arms slithering around Chase's neck.

"Hey, baby," Jack purred against his idol's neck.

"Spicer," the man huffed, making no move yet to remove the goth from his person, "how unpleasant to see you here."

"Aw, don't be so cold; at least, not after how hot you were last night…"

"WHAT?!" came the collective gasp of both the monks and their Heylin rival, to which Jack seemed utterly oblivious.

"Damn, you were good, babe, way better than I expected," the goth praised. "I knew you'd be a good fuck, but damn, Chase, you're a sex-god."

The warlord was honestly too stunned to react as Jack backed away from him a little and pulled a large wad of bills out of his pocket, beginning to count them out. "You charge a hundred by the hour, right? Well worth it, for sure." Having the amount he wanted, he shoved the money into Chase's sash. "There you go, sex-muffin, five-hundred big ones! God, five hours: you can go, baby…"

With a filthy grin, Jack smacked the older man on the ass and purred, "You know you can always come to me if you're hard up, sweet cheeks; I'll be more than happy to fuck you, again."

Before anyone could say anything to him, the genius had activated his helipack and was off into the sky, leaving behind shocked and disturbed Xiaolin monks and an extremely mortified warlord.


Feeling rather self-satisfied with the way his revenge had turned out, Jack proudly entered his home and walked up the stairs to his room.

There was no possible way that could've gone better: he had made Chase out to be a whore, made it seem as if he had been the one doing the fucking, and all in front of the man's enemies.

Still, the best part by far had been the look on the warlord's face: absolutely embarrassed and horrified.


His good mood was abruptly shattered, however, as, walking into his bedroom, he was caught by the throat and tossed onto his bed so hard he bounced. He wasn't able to bounce very high, though, because it seemed almost instantly that there was a body on top of his.

"How dare you, Spicer?!" Chase Young snarled from above him. "I should kill you right now for what you have done!"

"Chase," the goth squeaked, suddenly feeling a lot less brave in the face of an infuriated draconic warlord, "um, you're not mad about the whole-"

"Yes, I'm mad!" he growled, making the youth beneath him flinch back with a whimper. "Have you any idea what you've done?!"

Jack found that his throat was literally too tight with fear to speak, and so instead shook his head 'no'.

"You have degraded me publicly and completely humiliated me in front of my adversaries! You will pay dearly for this, Spicer…"

The genius gulped loudly, stuttering, "Wh-what're you g-gonna do to me..?"

"I am going to make an honest man out of you, Spicer."

"S-sure!" Jack immediately agreed. "I'll tell the monks everything, I swear!"

Chase chuckled in a tone that didn't at all alleviate the unease brewing within the goth, and he shook his head. "No, Spicer, you misunderstand: I am not forcing you to tell the truth. I am making what you said the truth."

The youth gaped in lack of understanding. "H-huh?"

"You said we engaged in intercourse for five hours," the warlord smirked, making a point of pulling down the zipper of the goth's trench-coat torturously slowly, "and we will engage in intercourse for five hours; oh and do try not to lose consciousness, virgin though you may be. I shall be most annoyed if I have to fuck a limp ragdoll."

Half-eager and half-terrified, Jack could do little more than squeak, "Please be gentle…"

A/N: DAMN, I AM BACKED UP ON STORIES! I totally forgot FF existed for awhile, so there's going to be a whole backlash of stories that I wrote awhile ago.

Sorry, guys, and hope you liked this one (along with the bunch of other ones there'll be soon)! :)