Title: ParaKnowYa
Summary:
You should never trust an online dating service, simply because you never know who you'll end up with.
Rating: T
Pairing: Stupid Question.
Dedicated To: CRESENTA'S LARK! (Is it me or are all my fics dedicated to someone? :P)
Disclaimer:
I had to use some real matchmaker sites to help me with this. If they seem similar to the site, I'm sorry in advance. I don't own those sites either (Thank God). I also use the same questions for a MATCH QUIZ. These questions are from , I DO NOT OWN THOSE QUESTIONS!
Note#2: You will notice spaces when I write a site. (matchmaker101 . com). This is because without that space, you cannot see the site name at all. Same goes for emails.


WELCOME to matchmaker101 . com! At matchmaker101, we give 100 percent to help you find your one true love!

LOGIN: Username: ____ Password: _____

OR!!!!

CREATE AN ACCOUNT:

I am a: (Choose Option) - Man Seeking A Woman, Woman Seeking A Man, Man Seeking a Man, Woman Seeking a Woman

AGE RANGE:

Date of Birth:

From: (Choose County From List)

Username:

Password:

Reenter Password:

Email:

Reenter Email:

JOIN.

Other Options: MATCHMAKER QUIZZES, CHATROOM, FORUMS, SEARCH, HELP


"Clover, I'm not joining some stupid matchmaker site!"

"Sammie, I love you and all, but you NEED a boyfriend." Insert rolling of eyes here. "When was the last time you had one? The stoneage?"

"Clover, I love you dearly and all, but that sounded like one of Mandy's pathetic comebacks."

...

"Oh no you didn't."


WELCOME to ! At matchmaker101, we give 100 percent to help you find your one true love!

LOGIN: Username: ____ Password: _____

OR!!!!

CREATE AN ACCOUNT:

I am a: (Choose Option) - Woman Seeking A Man,

AGE RANGE: 19 - 22

Date of Birth: Month: August, Day: 13, Year: 1989

From: (Choose County From List) USA

Username: simplesammy

Password: ********

Reenter Password: ********

Email: samsimpson gmail . com

Reenter Email: samsimpson gmail . com

JOIN.

(Join) Click.

TAKE OUR MANDATORY MATCHMAKER QUIZ! (This helps us find the right person for you)

Take Now or Later.

(Later) Click.

Other Options: MY ACCOUNT, MATCHMAKER QUIZZES, CHATROOM, FORUMS, SEARCH, HELP

(Matchmaker Quizzes) Click.

MATCHMAKER QUIZZES!

Quiz Number 1: How do you know if he's the one for you?

Quiz Number 2: Does your crush like you back?

Quiz Number 3: What do you look for in a soulmate?

Quiz Number 4: What's your romantic personality?

Quiz Number 5: How romantic are you?

Quiz Number 6: How well do you know your partner?

Quiz Number 7: Is he/she committed to your relationship?

Quiz Number 8: Are you ready for commitment?

Quiz Number 9: What's your kissing IQ?

Quiz Number 10: Are you a public flirt?

PAGE 1 of 40 (NEXT PAGE) (LAST PAGE)

Other Options: MY ACCOUNT, MATCHMAKER QUIZZES, CHATROOM, FORUMS, SEARCH, HELP

(Forums) Click.

TOPICS/REPLIES/ADMINISTRATOR/LAST POST

does he like me back? - 14 - loveydovey203 - 9/2/08

ALL LADIES! UR DREAM MAN IS HERE!! - 29 - playboys92 - 9/2/08

newbies only b*tches - 32 - wishfulthinkin11 - 9/2/08

matchmakermatchmaker - 9 - duhs2uallz - 9/1/08

come here for comfort if your boyfriend broke up with u!! (GIRLS ONLY) - 40 - sympatheticreactions - 8/31/08

come here for comfort if your girl broke up with you (OR YOU DUMPED HER! HAHA!) (BOYS ONLY) - 63 - grinalittle - 8/26/08

is he the one for you? - 13 - smilesallaround099 - 8/20/08

This Is Stupid - 12 - SadistAtHeart - 8/20/08

giveortake - try and see what happens - 19 - genius0291 - 8/14/08

Need Advice? I Can Help!!! - 89 - helpfulhelp101 - 8/14/08

PAGE 1 of 105 (NEXT PAGE) (LAST PAGE)

(This Is Stupid) Click.

SadistAtHeart (8/19/08): Why are idiotic morons asking "does he like me back" if you're on a FREAKIN MATCHMAKER SITE. You are not here to see if your pathetic crush at school likes you back, you're here to find a potential mate.

loveydovey203 (8/19/08): y r u so cruel sadist? oh no wonder, ur names SPEAKS FOR U!!!!!

SadistAtHeart:(8/19/08): I've heard better comebacks from a toaster.

loveydovey203: (8/19/08): u knw wat? shut up ok? if u dont like wat im sayin, then dont READ. Moron.

sympatheticreactions (8/19/08): lol omg yo guys chilll... its just a ?. no need to get worked up lol

SadistAtHeart: (8/19/08): How am I a moron if you're the one asking stupid questions?

loveydovey203 (8/19/08): u knw wat? shut up? I dont have to talk 2 u. u dnt evn knw wat ur sayin

SadistAtHeart (8/20/08): Says the girl who asks idiotic questions.

loveydovey203 (8/20/08): SHUT UP OK?! ur no1.

SadistAtHeart (8/20/08): I thought you said you didn't have to talk to me. Your guy probably doesn't like you, since no one likes a hypocrite.

ginadreama (8/20/08): woah lol. sadist, ur harsh. :P

smilesallaround099 (8/20/08): omg dont listen to him loveydovey. ur allowed to do whatever u want. dont let him get u mad. it helps no one but him

TYPE IN NEW POST? (Yes) (No)

(Yes) Click.

simplesammy (9/2/08): Smiles is right Lovey. I'm sure your guy likes you back, try asking him out!

LOGOUT? (Yes) (No)

(Yes) Click.

simplesammy has logged out.


Sam sighed when she entered her chemistry class, since she had to sit with Clover today and Alex was absent. She just knew that Clover would continue to talk about how she would now help her find her true love, since she didn't have a date in "forever". As if boys were the only thing that mattered in life, but did Clover know that? Of course not. Clover knowing that academics and family and friends actually existed outside the realm of boys would mean the apocolypse was coming.

"So...?" Clover's question didn't even need to be finished since Sam could figure it out by Clover's devious smile. "Did you find anyone?"

Should I ignore her?

It was a tempting thought, it really was, but Sam could only sigh because she knew Clover would make her do something worse if she started to ignore her. Sam had insulted Clover yesterday and it ended up with Sam making an account on matchmaker101 . com.

"No Clover, I didn't."

Monotone. Stick to the monotone. Hopefull, (or eventually), Clover would realize that Sam wasn't in the mood to talk.

Clover sighed. "It's ok. There's tons of time." ... Anything else Clover said was ignored.

But she did hear one thing.

"Go on the site again or else I'll tell everyone what happened at the sleepover."

...

Ugh.


WELCOME to ! At matchmaker101, we give 100 percent to help you find your one true love!

LOGIN: Username: simplesammy Password: ********

WELCOME SIMPLESAMMY!

TAKE OUR MANDATORY MATCHMAKER QUIZ! (This helps us find the right person for you)

Take Now or Later.

(Later) Click.

Other Options: MY ACCOUNT, MATCHMAKER QUIZZES, CHATROOM, FORUMS, SEARCH, HELP

(Forums) Click.

TOPICS/REPLIES/ADMINISTRATOR/LAST POST

This Is Stupid - 14 - SadistAtHeart - 9/3/08

does he like me back? - 14 - loveydovey203 - 9/2/08

ALL LADIES! UR DREAM MAN IS HERE!! - 29 - playboys92 - 9/2/08

newbies only b*tches - 32 - wishfulthinkin11 - 9/2/08

matchmakermatchmaker - 9 - duhs2uallz - 9/1/08

come here for comfort if your boyfriend broke up with u!! (GIRLS ONLY) - 40 - sympatheticreactions - 8/31/08

come here for comfort if your girl broke up with you (OR YOU DUMPED HER! HAHA!) (BOYS ONLY) - 63 - grinalittle - 8/26/08

is he the one for you? - 13 - smilesallaround099 - 8/20/08

giveortake - try and see what happens - 19 - genius0291 - 8/14/08

Need Advice? I Can Help!!! - 89 - helpfulhelp101 - 8/14/08

PAGE 1 of 105 (NEXT PAGE) (LAST PAGE)

(This Is Stupid) Click.

SadistAtHeart (8/19/08): Why are idiotic morons asking "does he like me back" if you're on a FREAKIN MATCHMAKER SITE. You are not here to see if your pathetic crush at school likes you back, you're here to find a potential mate.

loveydovey203 (8/19/08): y r u so cruel sadist? oh no wonder, ur names SPEAKS FOR U!!!!!

SadistAtHeart:(8/19/08): I've heard better comebacks from a toaster.

loveydovey203: (8/19/08): u knw wat? shut up ok? if u dont like wat im sayin, then dont READ. Moron.

sympatheticreactions (8/19/08): lol omg yo guys chilll... its just a ?. no need to get worked up lol

SadistAtHeart: (8/19/08): How am I a moron if you're the one asking stupid questions?

loveydovey203 (8/19/08): u knw wat? shut up? I dont have to talk 2 u. u dnt evn knw wat ur sayin

SadistAtHeart (8/20/08): Says the girl who asks idiotic questions.

loveydovey203 (8/20/08): SHUT UP OK?! ur no1.

SadistAtHeart (8/20/08): I thought you said you didn't have to talk to me. Your guy probably doesn't like you, since no one likes a hypocrite.

ginadreama (8/20/08): woah lol. sadist, ur harsh. :P

smilesallaround099 (8/20/08): omg dont listen to him loveydovey. ur allowed to do whatever u want. dont let him get u mad. it helps no one but him

simplesammy (9/2/08): Smiles is right Lovey. I'm sure your guy likes you back, try asking him out!

SadistAtHeart (9/3/08): I don't enjoy it when other people butt their noses into my business.

TYPE IN NEW POST? (Yes) (No)

(Yes) Click.

simplesammy (9/3/08): Well than stop doing business that's going to get everyone involved. You make fun of someone, we will respond back. It's only human nature to help someone.

Other Options: MY ACCOUNT, MATCHMAKER QUIZZES, CHATROOM, FORUMS, SEARCH, HELP

(My Account) Click.

TAKE OUR MANDATORY MATCHMAKER QUIZ! (This helps us find the right person for you)

Take Now or Later.

(Now) Click.

Quiz: You Know Love Is Out There (AN: I DO NOT OWN THESE QUESTIONS)

1. What is your greatest motivation in life?

A) Love/Sex
B) Knowledge/Intellect
C) Art/Music/Expression
D) Wealth/Money

(B) Click.

How would your ideal match answer this question? (Choose A, B, C, or D)

(B) Click.

How important is their answer to you?

A) Irrelevant
B) A little important
C) Somewhat important
D) Very Important
E) Mandatory

(C) Click.

2. Would you date an atheist?

A) Yes
B) No

(A) Click.

How would your ideal match answer this question? (Choose A or B)

(A) Click.

How important is their answer to you?

A) Irrelevant
B) A little important
C) Somewhat important
D) Very Important
E) Mandatory

(B) Click.

3. How often do you keep your promise?

A) Always. My word is bond. No exceptions
B) Whenever possible.
C) Usually
D) When convenient

(B) Click.

How would your ideal match answer this question? (Choose A, B, C, or D)

(B) Click.

How important is their answer to you?

A) Irrelevant
B) A little important
C) Somewhat important
D) Very Important
E) Mandatory

(D) Click.

4. Is it a requirement that you communicate with your significant other daily, in some way (phone, email, in person, etc.)?

A) Yes, no matter what.
B) Yes, unless otherwise specified
C) No, it's not necessary
D) No, I'd prefer not to communicate daily

(B) Click.

How would your ideal match answer this question? (Choose A, B, C, or D)

(B) Click.

How important is their answer to you?

A) Irrelevant
B) A little important
C) Somewhat important
D) Very Important
E) Mandatory

(B) Click.

5. If looking for a match on OkCupid, would you consider connecting with someone whose relationship status is 'seeing someone' or 'married'?

A) Yes to both
B) No to both
C) Yes to "seeing someone" only
D) Yes to 'married' only

(B) Click.

How would your ideal match answer this question? (Choose A, B, C, or D)

(B) Click.

How important is their answer to you?

A) Irrelevant
B) A little important
C) Somewhat important
D) Very Important
E) Mandatory

(D) Click.

6. Which makes for a better relationship?

A) Passion
B) Dedication

(B) Click.

How would your ideal match answer this question? (Choose A, B, C, or D)

(A) Click.

How important is their answer to you?

A) Irrelevant
B) A little important
C) Somewhat important
D) Very Important
E) Mandatory

(C) Click.

7. Do you space out or daydream a lot?

A) All the time
B) Never/Rarely
C) Sometimes

(B) Click.

How would your ideal match answer this question? (Choose A, B, C, or D)

(B) Click.

How important is their answer to you?

A) Irrelevant
B) A little important
C) Somewhat important
D) Very Important
E) Mandatory

(C) Somewhat important

8. Which of these options most closely describes what you're looking for in your next relationship?

A) Someone to come home to
B) Someone to go out with
C) Someone for tonight

(A) Click.

How would your ideal match answer this question? (Choose A, B, C, or D)

(A) Click.

How important is their answer to you?

A) Irrelevant
B) A little important
C) Somewhat important
D) Very Important
E) Mandatory

(E) Click.

9. How much can intelligence turn you on?

A) Intelligence can turn me on a lot!
B) Intelligence can turn me on a bit
C) Intelligence does nothing for me either way
D) Intelligence turns me off

(A) Click.

How would your ideal match answer this question? (Choose A, B, C, or D)

(A) Click.

How important is their answer to you?

A) Irrelevant
B) A little important
C) Somewhat important
D) Very Important
E) Mandatory

(B) Click.

10) Would you need to sleep with someone before you considered marrying them?

A) Yes
B) No

(B) Click.

How would your ideal match answer this question? (Choose A, B, C, or D)

(B) Click.

How important is their answer to you?

A) Irrelevant
B) A little important
C) Somewhat important
D) Very Important
E) Mandatory

(D) Click.

(Submit)

Your answers have been submitted. Results will be emailed to you.

Other Options: MY ACCOUNT, MATCHMAKER QUIZZES, CHATROOM, FORUMS, SEARCH, HELP

(Forums) Click.

TOPICS/REPLIES/ADMINISTRATOR/LAST POST

This Is Stupid - 15 - SadistAtHeart - 9/3/08

does he like me back? - 14 - loveydovey203 - 9/2/08

ALL LADIES! UR DREAM MAN IS HERE!! - 29 - playboys92 - 9/2/08

newbies only b*tches - 32 - wishfulthinkin11 - 9/2/08

matchmakermatchmaker - 9 - duhs2uallz - 9/1/08

come here for comfort if your boyfriend broke up with u!! (GIRLS ONLY) - 40 - sympatheticreactions - 8/31/08

come here for comfort if your girl broke up with you (OR YOU DUMPED HER! HAHA!) (BOYS ONLY) - 63 - grinalittle - 8/26/08

is he the one for you? - 13 - smilesallaround099 - 8/20/08

giveortake - try and see what happens - 19 - genius0291 - 8/14/08

Need Advice? I Can Help!!! - 89 - helpfulhelp101 - 8/14/08

PAGE 1 of 105 (NEXT PAGE) (LAST PAGE)

(This Is Stupid) Click.

SadistAtHeart (8/19/08): Why are idiotic morons asking "does he like me back" if you're on a FREAKIN MATCHMAKER SITE. You are not here to see if your pathetic crush at school likes you back, you're here to find a potential mate.

loveydovey203 (8/19/08): y r u so cruel sadist? oh no wonder, ur names SPEAKS FOR U!!!!!

SadistAtHeart:(8/19/08): I've heard better comebacks from a toaster.

loveydovey203: (8/19/08): u knw wat? shut up ok? if u dont like wat im sayin, then dont READ. Moron.

sympatheticreactions (8/19/08): lol omg yo guys chilll... its just a ?. no need to get worked up lol

SadistAtHeart: (8/19/08): How am I a moron if you're the one asking stupid questions?

loveydovey203 (8/19/08): u knw wat? shut up? I dont have to talk 2 u. u dnt evn knw wat ur sayin

SadistAtHeart (8/20/08): Says the girl who asks idiotic questions.

loveydovey203 (8/20/08): SHUT UP OK?! ur no1.

SadistAtHeart (8/20/08): I thought you said you didn't have to talk to me. Your guy probably doesn't like you, since no one likes a hypocrite.

ginadreama (8/20/08): woah lol. sadist, ur harsh. :P

smilesallaround099 (8/20/08): omg dont listen to him loveydovey. ur allowed to do whatever u want. dont let him get u mad. it helps no one but him

simplesammy (9/2/08): Smiles is right Lovey. I'm sure your guy likes you back, try asking him out!

SadistAtHeart (9/3/08): I don't enjoy it when other people butt their noses into my business.

simplesammy (9/3/08): Well than stop doing business that's going to get everyone involved. You make fun of someone, we will respond back. It's only human nature to help someone.

SadistAtHeart (9/3/08): Who says I'm human?

TYPE IN NEW POST? (Yes) (No)

(Yes) Click.

simplesammy (9/3/08): If you're not human, then I refuse to ever take you seriously again.

(Refresh page) Click.

SadistAtHeart (8/19/08): Why are idiotic morons asking "does he like me back" if you're on a FREAKIN MATCHMAKER SITE. You are not here to see if your pathetic crush at school likes you back, you're here to find a potential mate.

loveydovey203 (8/19/08): y r u so cruel sadist? oh no wonder, ur names SPEAKS FOR U!!!!!

SadistAtHeart:(8/19/08): I've heard better comebacks from a toaster.

loveydovey203: (8/19/08): u knw wat? shut up ok? if u dont like wat im sayin, then dont READ. Moron.

sympatheticreactions (8/19/08): lol omg yo guys chilll... its just a ?. no need to get worked up lol

SadistAtHeart: (8/19/08): How am I a moron if you're the one asking stupid questions?

loveydovey203 (8/19/08): u knw wat? shut up? I dont have to talk 2 u. u dnt evn knw wat ur sayin

SadistAtHeart (8/20/08): Says the girl who asks idiotic questions.

loveydovey203 (8/20/08): SHUT UP OK?! ur no1.

SadistAtHeart (8/20/08): I thought you said you didn't have to talk to me. Your guy probably doesn't like you, since no one likes a hypocrite.

ginadreama (8/20/08): woah lol. sadist, ur harsh. :P

smilesallaround099 (8/20/08): omg dont listen to him loveydovey. ur allowed to do whatever u want. dont let him get u mad. it helps no one but him

simplesammy (9/2/08): Smiles is right Lovey. I'm sure your guy likes you back, try asking him out!

SadistAtHeart (9/3/08): I don't enjoy it when other people butt their noses into my business.

simplesammy (9/3/08): Well than stop doing business that's going to get everyone involved. You make fun of someone, we will respond back. It's only human nature to help someone.

SadistAtHeart (9/3/08): Who says I'm human?

simplesammy (9/3/08): If you're not human, then I refuse to ever take you seriously again.

SadistAtHeart (9/3/08): How do I know that you're not lying and that you're just saying that once upon a time, you took me seriously?

TYPE IN NEW POST? (Yes) (No)

(Yes) Click.

simplesammy (9/3/08): How do you know if I didn't?

Other Options: MY ACCOUNT, MATCHMAKER QUIZZES, CHATROOM (1 msg waiting), FORUMS, SEARCH, HELP

(Chatroom) Click.

SadistAtHeart (5:16:39): I like you.
simplesammy (5:17:11): I thought I was being insulted just a minute ago.
SadistAtHeart (5:17:29): You thought wrong then.
simplesammy (5:17:35): Is that so?
SadistAtHeart (5:17:49): Yes.
SadistAtHeart (5:17:55): It is.
simplesammy (5:18:09): Haha, in that case, thanks.
simplesammy (5:18:15): Sorry g2g. Bye
SadistAtHeart (5:18:22): Alright then. Bye. Nice meeting you.
simplesammy (5:18:34): Lol, nice meeting you too.
simplesammy has signed off.


Sitting in front of a computer, an unknown figure smirked.


AN: Confusing? Yes. Get used to it until she stops going on the websites. I don't know how long that will be.

Again, this is dedicated to Cresenta's Lark. I hope you like it!
Please review!!

Love,

Ivy