Hi everyone. This is something that just would not get out of my head after I saw the movie. Hopefully it will leave me alone now that I got it written down. The Blues Brothers do not belong to me (as much as I wish otherwise) and this is just written for fun. As usual leave and suggestions you want, and flames will be laughed off.


Relief washed over Elwood when he reached for the receipt, only to leave when he heard the handcuffs snap. Looking down he saw his and Jakes hands clipped together with handcuffs that weren't his. Then he heard something that sounded like a bunch of guns being cocked. The Brothers turned their heads, and found themselves looking down the barrels of over three-hundred guns, belonging to the Chicago Police, SWAT, the National Guard, and some State Troopers. Despite it all Elwood was amused, all this and they were armed with nothing more than a briefcase full of blues and two cans of glue(strong stuff). There was, of course, no chance for escape. They were herded out the doors and down the stairs. When they arrived at the jail the warden didn't even bother to ask them what they had done that time. Jake and Elwood were, much to their amusement, considered too dangerous to be put with other inmates, they had a cell all to their own. That was just the way they liked it, because their hats and sunglasses had been taken away. The band was on either side of them, and there were other inmates across from them, Jake and Elwood were very careful to keep their heads down or their backs turned at all times. The other prisoners were very curious about what they had done.

"What are ya in for this time Jake?"

They were very well known around there. Elwood was a pickpocket and known car-thief, Jake did everything from pick pocketing to armed robbery. That's what he had been in for last time, robbed a gas station to pay for the band's hotel bill (damned gun wasn't even loaded). Jake was happy to answer that question, "Oh, nothing much. We blew through a yellow light. When the rollers pulled us over Elwood decided to lead them on a chase. Through the Dixie Mall. Then we caused havoc at a nice restaurant, skipped out on a $100 beer bill at a bar, drove though the Richard J. Daily center. And single handedly took out the Chicago and State police forces. Like I said, not much."

All the inmates jaws had dropped, forget what they had done to get in. it was nothing compared to the Blues Brothers. "So, why did ya do it?" Elwood looked at Jake; he had not been expecting that question. Let him do all the talking.

"We were getting the band back together, to do a few gigs and pay the taxes on the orphanage where we grew up. All we needed was five-thousand bucks from a gig. That reminds me; we also caused a bunch of Nazis to jump off a bridge and into the river. And later said Nazis drove off a bridge, flew past the Sears tower and crashed onto the ground."

Someone in one of the other cells shouted something that sounded a lot like hating Illinois Nazis. Elwood was continuously shifting his feet and glancing around. He felt naked and exposed without his hat and glasses, or at least the glasses. He knew that nobody could see him, it was too dark, but it wasn't making a difference. He was also hungry, that last time he had eaten was that slice of toast at the music store. He looked over at Jake, who was now giving a moment- by-moment account of the chase through the city and the tax assessment office. He loved all the attention, comes of being a stage performer.

Before long a couple guards came to get the prisoners, they knocked on the cell door. "Ok Blues, time to go for dinner."

The inmates in all the other cells crowed around the doors to be let out. Jake and Elwood refused to budge.

"Come on Blues, get up, and let's go!" the officers were slowly loosing whatever patience they had.

Jake finally spoke, "We aint going anywhere until you give us our hats and glasses back." The rest of the band (who was on either side of them) and the inmates within hearing thought it was the funniest thing ever. The band wasn't really surprised, they had never seen the Brothers without the glasses, sometimes the hats came off, but they were always back on.

The cops looked at each other; sure, they could force them out the door. Or they could also leave them in their respective cell. They decided to do the latter. "Fine, you bozos don't want to leave your cell without your hats..."

"And sunglasses," butted in Jake, "don't forget the sunglasses." Elwood allowed himself a small smile sense his back was turned to the cops.

"Fine!" snapped the taller of the two. "Go hungry!"

"Ok." Said Elwood, "I don't like your food anyway."

The guards, used to getting their way, backed out of the cell. And the brothers, used to getting their way, knew it was only a matter of time. Someone was going to have to give.

The officers left the job of escorting the other inmates to someone else. They wanted to talk to the Warden.

"They want what?"

"Sir, they said that they won't come out of their cell without their hats."

"And glasses," butted in the other guard, "Don't forget the sunglasses."

The Warden was having a hard time understanding this. Jake had not been a problem the last time he was there, or any other time for that matter. It must be because his brother and the band were with him. After a pause he answered them. "They'll get hungry. For now leave them alone. I'll talk to them in the morning."

That night Elwood lay on the top bunk while Jake slept on the bottom. "Bet ya didn't think you'd be in here again so soon did ya?"

Jake didn't answer, just stared off into space. Elwood rolled over and hung his head over the side into his face. "Jake?"

"Dammit Elwood! Can't you see I'm thinking?"


"Well I am. I'm thinking of a way to get our stuff back."

Elwood sat back up, as much as he wanted to needle Jake (for lack of anything else to do) he wanted his hat and sunglasses back more. He busied himself counting bricks on the wall until he fell asleep.

The next morning the Warden walked down the long hallway leading to the Blues Brothers cell. Along the way he had stopped outside to speak to the band members. They were exercising in the yard with the others. He wanted to talk to them to get some leverage to use against the Brothers in this battle of the hats.

"Excuse me, Mr. Murphy?"

Matt 'Guitar' Murphy stopped doing jumping-jacks and turned around. When he saw the Warden his first thought was 'oh crap, what did Jake do?' of course he thought Jake, he was the ringleader in their little circus. Everyone else was just along for the ride. Except Elwood, sometimes he took a turn leading.

"Yes Mr. Warden. What did they do?"

The Warden, Mr. Marchle, laughed. "They haven't done anything, that's the problem. Nobody can get them to come out of their cell unless they are given back both their hats and their glasses."

The conversation had caught the attention of the other band members and a few bystanders. They were waiting for Matt's response.

"Good luck with that Sir," he laughed, "None of us have ever seen them without their glasses they never take them off. Well, sometimes the hat comes off. Indoors or in the presence of a lady (Elwood really could be a gentleman when he wanted to). But other than that, no. You've got a fight on your hands Sir."

Blue Lou Marini was standing by Matt's shoulder, "And when you see those two, you tell them that…" someone else covered his mouth before he said anything that might get them in trouble.

Mr. Marchle turned back to the buildings, it was gonna be a long day. He stopped in front of the Brother's cell.

The taller one, Elwood, he thought to himself, was asleep on the top bunk, which was against the far wall and facing away from him. He was on his back with his arm across his face, covering his eyes. The shorter brother, Jake sat on the lower bunk with his head down, it was impossible to see either of their faces.

The Warden cleared his throat. Jake nodded once to show that he heard. Elwood rolled over and put his pillow over his head. He cleared his throat again and was greeted with Elwood's pillow flung at his head from across the room. It would have hit him except for the bars.

"Get up Blues, both of you."

Jake stood up, but kept his back turned and had his arms folded across his chest.

"Why are you two being so difficult?"

"We are not being difficult." Snapped Jake.

"You are the ones who took away our hats and glasses," said Elwood, he was sitting up now that it was clear the man was not leaving. He also kept his back turned.

"Standard procedure."

"So," said Elwood, "we've gotten around that plenty of times."

"And look where it got you."

"Our hats and glasses are not dangerous."

"Besides," said Jake, "I'm hungry."

The Warden was losing his patience, what was with these two? They can demolish the whole Chicago police force, but were two shy to go out in public without their faces covered. He would never understand criminals. Marchle radioed for someone to bring them breakfast. Then he tried one more time to reason with them, "Can't we talk about this?"

They wouldn't have it, "Talk about what? You give us back our stuff, we stop causing trouble." Elwood, the logical one (Most of the time).

"That's just it, if we let you have your way, the others will want theirs. And we can't have that."

"Oh yeah", said Jake, "We're sooooo dangerous. We did a show to pay the taxes on the orphanage. Armed with a harmonica and two bottles of glue. All we wanted to do was save the place where we grew up, but noooooooo. We can't have our sunglasses, IT WOULD BE TO DANGEROUS!!!"

The Warden was done arguing with them, it wasn't worth it. He walked away, they were too much to deal with this early in the day, for several days in a row. Before long a guard came carrying two trays of food. Not bothering to walk in he slid them under the door. Elwood still hadn't moved from his bunk. As soon as the Warden was gone he went back to trying to sleep. Back to the door. After the guard was gone Jake grabbed the trays. On both of them was a slice of toast and some un-namable prison mush. Without a thought Jake threw one slice of toast onto Elwood's chest and sat down with the other. The mush was slid back under the door and back into the aisle.

Later that day the same two guards came back. "Ok Blues, time to go outside for exercise."

Jake tapped Elwood on the arm. It was his turn to deal with them.

"Nope." He said.

The guards were confused, was that aimed at them or his brother. "Excuse us?"

"I said nope, we're not going outside. First you give us back our hats and sunglasses, and then we'll go."

This was beginning to be ridiculous. They got the other prisoners, including the now laughing band, and marched them outside. Then they radioed the Warden again, he was not going to be happy.


"What is it now?"

"It's the Blues Brothers."

"The band?"

"No Sir, the brothers."

"Again? Now what?"

"They still won't come out Sir. The tall one, Elwood said they won't come out to exercise either."

The Warden was, by now, understandably fed up with those two. "I give up! Just give them their stuff so that we can be done with it!"

"Yes Sir." The officers visibly relaxed. This had been going on for too long, several days. Someone had had to give. And they were not surprised that it wasn't the brothers.

Elwood was pacing when he heard the door to the cell open. The Warden walked in carrying two boxes. Jake sat up where he had been resting on the bed.

"You win boys, here's your stuff. Two pairs sunglasses; black. Two felt fedoras; also black. Don't do it again, you aren't getting anything else."

The Warden didn't expect them to come get the boxes, so he just put them down on the floor. And walked out, completely fed up. As soon as he was gone Jake and Elwood stepped forwards to grab their things. As they sorted out whose stuff was whose Jake started musing about his next great idea.

"Maybe we can get them to give us back our instruments so we can play."

Elwood was dubious about that actually working. Some instruments like oh say, a sax, or a guitar made really good clubs. And guitar strings could cut people (they knew that from experience) or be used to strangle someone. "I don't know Jake, maybe we should wait awhile. Then try to get them back."

When the band was marched back to their respective cells they saw who had won, and they were not surprised. Jake told them of his, in his own mind, wonderful plan.

"We're gonna get all the inmates to pester the guards until they let us play. And if that doesn't work, we'll cause a riot."

"Or," suggested Murphy, the keyboardist, "We could just ask them."

"Where's the fun in that?"

Allen Rubin (Mr. Fabulous) was less than enthusiastic. "You two drag us all over Illinois; trick us into doing a benefit show. Get us thrown into jail after you trash the police …"

"That was Elwood's driving actually." Cut in Jake.

From his spot standing behind Jake, Elwood's jaw dropped. He thought his driving was very good thank you. Let's see Jake try the same thing with half the cops in the state on his tailpipes. And he didn't even have to steal the car.

Mr. Fabulous finished his rant, "And now you want us to play like nothing happened? Are you crazy? I quit my job to go on a tour, not to rot in prison and play for these jailbirds!"

Tom Scott spoke next, "I'm all for it. It don't know how well this plan will work, but frankly I'm bored out of my mind."

Everyone else (except Allen) nodded their heads (not that Jake and Elwood could see). The guards came back, "Ok chatter boxes, dinner time." This time the brothers were quite willing to allow themselves to be lead out of the cell. Much to the relief of the guards.

All though the meal Jake barely touched his food (it wasn't any good anyway). He was talking to anyone that would listen about his plan. The guards soon put a stop to this though, and forced him to be quiet. They were afraid that he was going to cause a riot in cell block nine. He was, in more ways than one.

Two days later the Brothers were still on their best behavior. But the other prisoners were not. And the Warden was getting more phone calls then he was happy with.


"What now? It better not be those Blues Brothers again."

"Well…not exactly."

"What is it then?"

"They have been behaving quiet well. And so has the band."

"Then what is it?"

"The prisoners have all been pestering the guards to let the Brothers and their band to play Sir. They even turned in a signed petition and someone got chalk and drew, 'Tonight, the Fabulous Blues Brothers Band, Live from the Joliet Jail!'" (That was him but he wasn't going to say anything).

"Leave it, they'll give up."

"I hope your right Sir." With that the guard hung up and turned to his companions.

"Well?" One of them asked, "Is he going to let them play?"

"Not yet, but he's close, I just think that he doesn't want to be bested by them again."

After hearing Jake babble on and on for hours about how great his band was some of the younger guards were curious to hear them play. See if they were as good as their reputations. So they decided to help the cause.

"Give it awhile, he'll crack. He can't go against us and the prisoners. I just hope he gives before there's a riot."

Three days later Jake and Elwood, followed as always by the band, were lead into the cafeteria. Elwood scanned the crowd, they were quieter than usual. And all of them had their eyes on the group. Jake tapped his shoulder, "Elwood. Hey Elwood."

"Yeah Jake?"

"Look at the stage."

Elwood turned behind them, and there on the stage were everyone's instruments. Some mics, and Elwood's harmonica. The briefcase was absent for obvious reasons.

Elwood sighed, "Ok Jake, you win, your plan worked." Then he brightened, " And without causing a riot."

The boys all hopped up onto the stage and began checking things to be sure they worked. Then the two usual guards walked over to them.

"Congratulations Boys, you win. Of course we helped a little. We found these laying around and sense nobody claimed them, we thought you could use them. It looks much better on stage then a prison uniform anyway. They handed the boys two black jackets.

"Hey Jake, do you think they really just found these?"

"Who cares? If it fits, wear it."

Elwood put his jacket on and then went to help the band hook everything up and do a sound check. All that was left was to pick a song or two…or three.

"Before you say anything," snapped Jake, "there is no way we are EVER doing 'Raw Hide' again. Ever!"

Elwood nodded, he had kinda liked that song, but he was in no mood to deal with Jake's temper right then. "Let's do a good prison song then."

After some deliberation 'Jailhouse Rock' was decided upon. Everyone loved a good Elvis tune. The band was all put in their positions and Elwood readied his harmonica. The Willie, the drummer, Elwood, and Matt started the beat and Jake joined in on vocals.

The warden threw a party in the county jail
The prison band was there and they began to wail
The joint was jumping and the place began to swing
You should have heard those knocked out jailbirds sing

Let's rock
Everybody let's rock
Everybody on the whole cell block
They was dancing to the jailhouse rock

Spider Murphy played the tenor saxophone
Little Joe was blowin' on the slide trombone
The drummer boy from Illinois went crash boom bang
The whole rhythm section was the Purple Gang

Let's rock
Everybody let's rock
Everybody on the whole cell block
They was dancing to the jailhouse rock

Well number 47 said to number 3
You're the cutest jailbird I ever did see
I sure'll be delighted with your company
Come on and do the jailhouse rock with me

Let's rock
Everybody let's rock
Everybody on the whole cell block
They were dancing to the jailhouse rock
Let's rock!

Sad Sack was sittin' on a block of stone
Way over in the corner weepin' all alone
The warden said Hey buddy don't you be no square
If you can't find a partner use a wooden chair

Let's rock
Everybody let's rock
Everybody on the whole cell block
They was dancing to the jailhouse rock

They were dancing to the jailhouse rock
They was dancing to the jailhouse rock
They was dancing to the jailhouse rock
They was dancing to the jailhouse rock
Everybody on the whole cell block
They was dancing to the jailhouse rock

They was dancing to, dancing to, dancing to, dancing to
Dancing to the jailhouse rock
Oh they was dancing to, dancing to, dancing to, dancing to
Dancing to the jailhouse rock
Everybody on the whole cell block
They was dancing to the jailhouse rock

Dancing to the jailhouse rock...

By the time the song ended though, it looked like the Warden was going to have to deal with a riot anyway. Jake was happy, what do ya know, a riot and he wasn't even trying. This was turning out to be his day after all.

A/N: This is my first time doing anything with the Blues Brothers, so all you people out there who know more then I do, your input would really help me with any future works. Thanks for reading everyone.