This story takes place during New Moon when Alice and Bella have gone to Italy to try and save Edward.

Esme's POV.

Gone.

He was sitting on the edge of our bed, one palm resting on his flawless forehead the other lying on his lap. He did not look peaceful like he usually did, but distressed. I rarely saw him like this and when I did it was a sad sight to see. He was usually composed and calm no matter the situation. But tonight was different; tonight we had just found out that Edward had gone to provoke the Volturi and be killed because he believed Bella had died. We knew he couldn't live without her, but it was so hard to believe that he would actually follow through with it. What made is worse was the fact that Bella wasn't even dead. It had just been a cluster of communications.

"Carlisle," I whispered, too low for a human to hear.

He looked up to the voice.

"Esme," He sighed sadly. I went to sit on his lap; he wrapped his arms around my waist. It turned to face him better.

"Isn't there another way?" I asked hopefully, but I already knew the answer.

He closed his eyes briefly and the opened them looking eye with me. His eyes were always soft and golden and today was no different, but there was also a new edge to them—an edge of anxiety and worry.

"No, it's up to Alice and Bella now. They're the only chance we've got." He explained.

"Hopefully the Volturi won't see Alice coming if Edward gets to far. But if he doesn't and Bella can stop him before it is too late, then it will be a miracle. Not impossible, just a mere miracle." He sounded promising for the moment and I almost smiled.

There were a few moments of silence before either one of us spoke again, thought it seemed like an eternity in those tense situations.

"I just can't…stand to lose them—even Bella. That silly, unpredictable girl—she's like family to us, Esme," He said in a frustrated, but controlled manner—always controlled.

"I know, I love her too, Carlisle. So much," I closed my eyes briefly imagining my family. They were all so incredibly special to me, to us.

"And Alice. Bubbly, adorable, loving Alice. My beautiful little girl," Carlisle, I could tell, was concentrating hard on a memory of her as he stared past me.

"Yes," I agreed sadly, placing my hands on either side of his cool face and pressing his forehead to mine.

"And Edward," He cried silently, "my first son whom I am so proud of. How could he? I hate not knowing, Esme. I hate not being able to save people's lives all the time. I can't even save my own son's!" He hid his face on my shoulder and heaved a great sigh.

I knew he hated not knowing. It made him seem like he wasn't good enough, but he was, he was my everything. He was the only reason why I didn't go and provoke the Volturi soon after I was changed. I also knew that he hated being beaten by someone's death. He wanted to save everyone; he was determined, which was one of his many great qualities. But sometimes he had to realize that he couldn't save everyone and that everyone human eventually had to die. On days like those, Jasper would try to make him feel less guilty with his talent, but Carlisle was too experienced to be fooled by Jasper and learned how to block it out, then he would ask Jasper to stop nicely. Carlisle appreciated everything his sons, daughters, and Bella did for him in times that he needed it the most, but he didn't want it at the moment. Sometimes I think he just wanted to feel, well, human. Isn't that what we all wanted?

"Carlisle," I said after a long moment of thought.

"Yes," He mumbled softly into my shoulder.

"Look at me," I asked kindly.

He tilted his head up. I smiled and took his face in my hands so that his eyes matched with mine. I almost drifted off into them, but I remained focused.

"You can't blame yourself for every bad thing that's happened. None of it is ever your fault. Most of the time, the case is hopeless or there is absolutely nothing that you can do. Yes, you're going to make mistakes; yes, bad things are going to happen, but please, please, Carlisle, stop blaming yourself. I cannot bear to see you like this: all torn and sad. This isn't you. I can't keep the family together all by myself. I can't live this "life" without you. So please, stay strong, please. I know you can. I have absolute faith in you and I know your children do too."

"You're a wonderful father, husband, and my friend. Please don't ruin all the wonderful things about you because you believe that this is your fault. Don't let the negative overcome you. I love you too much."

He looked at me for some immeasurable moments, a hard, concentrated look. Then slowly the ends of his mouth curved upward into a strikingly beautiful smile that never ceased to take my breath away and he chuckled lightly.

"What would I do without you?" He murmured.

"You without me?" I asked in a teasingly shock. "What about me without you? I couldn't bear that." My somewhat encouraging mood had abruptly changed to worried and I shuddered at the thought of losing him. "I worry so much on you, though I know I shouldn't because you are perfectly capable of never doing anything rash."

"Shh…don't worry on me, love." His voice, always calming and patience.

"But I could never stand to lose you." I draped my arms around his neck and buried my face in the cave of his neck.

"You'll never lose me," He comforted me and I could feel his sweet breath on my neck, sending shivers down my spine.

I looked up and met his eyes before he kissed me, a sweet, chaste kiss that was soft and sweet.

"Everything will be all right," He assured me, and I knew it would be.

So I'm not sure if I should continue or not and make a fanfic about three or four chapters. You tell me. =)