Hey guys, I know. I am horrible. It is quite brutal to think that I have abandoned the story, even though I wrote that I would update again really soon in the last uploaded chapter that was back in 2009. Well, life happened. School, travelling, family issues. I do have the most sincere intentions that I do wish to continue with this story. After reading a few recent and lovely reviews, I was inspired to ignore all of my demanding duties from life, and write a sneak peak to my upcoming chapter. Here's a small bit of the chapter that was supposed to come next. The remainder portion will be longer, and updated relatively soon. I hope dearly that you all are convinced in how much I love my story and that I do have intentions of finishing it. Thank you for reading and to those who would check if I had updated everyone once in a while in the past two years. Here's to you.
"I must admit, I feel a little bit foolish calling him You-Know-Who again."
Harry shook his head and broke off his gaze that was set firmly on his Godfather's somber expression, to glance over at Hermione as she was rummaging through her bag.
"Why do you say that?" Harry asked, a little lost. Though starring at Hermione, he couldn't help but glance over again at Sirius, whom he worried would never have a genuinely joyous smile ever again. Sirius seemed like he was in his own world. He stopped giving the known gestures or expressions one would give when listening to someone, giving assurance that you are taking their words in consideration. Well, truth be told, he wasn't really listening was he? It was Remus who owned Sirius' thoughts. Sirius' insides felt as if they were no longing living. The pain and anguish he felt for Remus is so unbelievable, that you literally can't feel anymore. The pain that reaches the threshold of numbness is by far the most excruciating one. You want to scream, you want to cry, you want to blame yourself, you want to ask for a reason why, and yet you are lost, spiraling in this feeling-less and cold whirlwind, where your insides literally break into pieces, when you think about other things with no relation to the reason why you feel like this in the first place. Such anguish, such need for absolution, when you're caught off guard by a tragedy, the whole concept of life seems just so pointless.
"I am the last living Marauder." Sirius constantly thought to himself. Of course, this is not true. Peter Pettigrew is still very much alive, in all of his glory. But to Sirius, it's quite plainly obvious that he no longer holds the privilege in being known as a Marauder. To be a Marauder you have unconditional love and respect for the other members of your clan, your most precious and loved friends. You would never even wander to think about ever crossing them or stabbing them in the back. Betrayal is far more worst that doing the actual killing…according to Sirius anyways. Both are quite ludicrous to even think of, but alas, the world in which Muggles, Wizards and Witches together live in, is unfortunately one whose nature is possessed by dark natured, egotistical individuals. James, and now Remus are better off having left this world, is one of Sirius' most firm beliefs. "At least they no longer have to suffer," another trending topic in the only Gryffindor Black member's head.
"I feel like a hypocrite, that's why. I have always preached on to others why it's importance to call him by his name, and now I am resorted to contradict my belief." Hermione said in her usual as-a-matter-of-fact tone of voice. "You know how irritating that is?"
"You're absolutely right. I totally agree with you. Of course your right." Ron said quickly with a smile, and a slight wink, that Harry caught and couldn't hold back a smile to. Harry shook his head, and this time refrained all instincts of looking at his Godfather. "Well, he's to blame for a lot of things that we're resorted to do or deal with today unfortunately." He cleared his throat, "The other day, before having found Ron," Harry smiled at Ron, who raised his shoulders with a guilty smile, "Hermione, you said something about going to visit Xenophilius Lovegood…I just can't remember why?"
Hermione looked as if she wasn't listening to him at first, but then took out the book that she inherited from Dumbledore, The Tale Of Beedle The Bard. She turned to a page, and pointed to a triangular symbol. "See here," she pointed and looked at Harry, "it's the mark again. It keeps on turning up. Back at the Godric's Hollow on the gravestone, in the signature of the letter from Professor Dumbledore in Skeeter's book, and you mentioned seeing Mr. Lovegood wearing a necklace with the same symbol, Harry. Am I right?" Harry nodded as she continued, "You both know that I don't believe in coincidences. There's a reason why it keeps coming up, and the most peculiar thing is, that it's been written in here."
"What do you mean?" Ron asked with a cautious tone. "Why would someone write this in a children's book? It's not a part of the book, nor does it have in relation with the story…but maybe," Hermione shook her head, "no, no there's bound to be a reason why Professor Dumbledore gave me this book, and seeing as we can't put a relation to it, what else is there better than to go and ask Luna's father."
"It would be nice to see a friendly face, and maybe Luna's there too." Ron said with a sigh. "And besides," he said looking over at Harry, who couldn't hold his gaze no longer away of that of his lost in grief of a Godfather, "The Quibbler is the only Pro-Harry newsletter out there, even with a price on your head mate."
"Thanks Ron," Harry said, sharing a laugh with both Ron and Hermione, who couldn't hold on her laugh, even though she was still mad with Ron.
Sirius closed his eyes firmly, letting out a sigh that caused a cringe of anguish flow from his heart to his entire body, and then opened his eyes to stare directly at his Godson, "Sorry, what did you say?"
Harry gave a sympathetic smile, "I didn't say anything yet, do you think we should pay a visit to Mr…."
"Mr. Lovegood, yes I suppose Hermione is right with her reasoning." Sirius said lightly. Harry's eyebrows rose. Sirius smiled in the only way he could, "I was listening Harry, though it may seem at times that I am not."
Harry gave another sympathetic smile causing Sirius to let out, this time a loud sigh in a tone of annoyance, "Harry enough with all the pity smiles. I'm all right. I am processing. I am grieving. It's a part of life. I'm sure you were just as annoyed as I am now with the three of you, when you thought I was killed and dead. Or am I wrong in saying this?"
The three of them shook their heads simultaneously. "Well then," Sirius said, standing on his feet, "let's pack. Let's aim to leave within the hour." Ron and Harry stood up quickly and turned to their belongings, as Hermione still remained on spot, starring at Sirius. "Sirius, it's dark out. Maybe it's best we got ready and left in the early morning." Sirius' eyes dazed out of focus again. Hermione's logic resembles almost perfectly to that out his late and fallen friend. Remus' wording would have been a little bit different though, much like, "What' with the hurry Padfoot? Let me remind you that fast decisions like these is the reason why you fell behind the veil in the first place."
"I can't believe you would say that, Moony? That's a little harsh, don't you think?" Sirius would have said in a mixed mocking and outrage-filled tone. Remus would then smile and shake his head lightly, "What, so it's okay when you make references to the veil and being dead for almost two years, but it's not ok if I say or make a comment about it?"
"Moony, you smartass." Sirius said aloud. The pretend and daydreamed conversation he was having or he would have had if Remus was alive, was a creation purely made from his thoughts just now. That last bit was actually voiced aloud, and caused Hermione's eyes to tear up almost instantly. Ron and Harry dropped whatever item of their belongings that was in their hands, and turned to look at Sirius. They were all wearing same expressions. One of pity. Sirius' hands started shaking. He grabbed the chair next to him and tossed it roughly to the floor. It broke in two perfect pieces as if it was waiting for someone to break it. Harry took a step forward, but Ron grabbed his shoulder. Harry half turned to look at him, seeing Ron shaking his head slowly with a truly saddened expression in his eyes. Sirius started breathing heavily. His back was turned to the trio. Their eyes were fixed to Sirius' back, which was rising and descending ever so quickly and swiftly. For a moment, no one said anything. Harry felt an intense load that seemed to be coming down on heavily over his heart. He didn't dare try to imagine how his Godfather was feeling, because when he mustered the energy in trying to put himself in Sirius' shoes, the ounce of thoughts were too hard to bare. Finally, Harry gently took Ron's hand off his shoulder and made way to Sirius, who's back slowed down in motion in breathing. Harry then, with a soft sigh, placed his hand on his beloved father figure's shoulder, and softly gave it a squeeze.
"It's okay to miss him. It's okay to say his name." Sirius raised his head, and turned around to face Harry, whose eyes glistened with grief. "I'm here for, Padfoot." Sirius felt a huge stab to his heart. He thought he would never hear that name being addressed to him ever again. "You have me…"
"And us." Ron said softly. Through her tears, Hermione side glanced to Ron at his affection and kind words to Sirius. She wiped her eyes one last time, and took Ron's hand that was at his side. Ron gave it tight squeeze, but didn't break eye contact with Sirius. Sirius, now fully turned, embraced Harry firmly. The two of them stayed that way for a couple of minutes. The silence, defined all the emotions that arose with the departure of Remus. Finally, Sirius took a step back, and with his left hand ruffled Harry's hair, who laughed gently as a tear slipped away from one of his beautiful green eyes.
"I love you kiddo, you know that right?" Sirius said with gentle tone. His gazed went over Harry's shoulder to his Godson's two best friends, who never moved one bit during the emotional moment. "And you two aren't so bad either, when you're not fighting." Everyone chuckled. That laughter seemed to have eased up Sirius' insides for a moment, as Sirius continued, "You guys have kissed and made up by now I hope." Hermione's faced instantly turned red. Ron gave a boyish smile, and looked over at Hermione who in return gave him a furious expression. She dropped Ron's hand, and smacked his arm, before turning to sort of her things.
Sirius laughed, "Spoke too soon I reckon."