I sprint down the stairs and throw open the door. It's Jacob, of course. He is standing about six feet back from the door, his nose wrinkled in distaste. His face otherwise smooth – masklike. He doesn't fool me; I can see the faint trembling of his hands. Hostility rolls off him in waves.
"Hey." I finally say when he doesn't speak. He looks at me, well past me, into the living room causing me to grind my teeth. "She's not here."
He nods and hesitates. "You're alone?"
I nod, barely able to keep the snarl off my face. "Dad's not here, of course."
He nods and swallows and I look past him where I notice both Embry and Jared are in his car. I knew that this meant they were afraid for him to come here alone. I can do nothing more than sigh out my frustration. I would never let anyone harm Jacob and besides that, the Cullens aren't like that.
"Can I come in?" Jacob asks, barely a whisper.
"Of course you can, Jacob. Come on in." I move to the side so he can enter. I give a slight nod in the direction of his wolf buddies and cannot contain the sarcasm in my voice. "They trust you to enter the enemy territory all by your lonesome?"
Jacob looks at me, and I am sorry to say I feel no remorse. He's acting like an ass. His friends are acting like asses. I am beyond exasperated with the lot of them. He ignores me and walks into the living room and glares at the mess of blankets and pillows strewn about. "Slumber party?"
"Yes." I reply with all the warmth of a polar bear. He frowns and starts to pace, shoving his enormous hands into his pockets. I watch for long as I can before I stand in front of him. I place a palm on his chest and through his shirt; his skin all but burns me. I miss his warmth, I suddenly realize. I miss touching him. "What's your problem?"
"I don't like having to be here." My heart catches in my throat.
"Well then, I'm sorry. Let me see you out." I move to go past him, letting my hand fall limply to my side, but he catches it and holds me still. I feel like I can't breathe. "What do you need to tell me Jacob?"
"I know she's staying here. Could you let her know that…just tell her that we can only watch our lands while a Cullen is here, so the other one…Victoria? We can't…I can't protect you here. You're only safe in La Push."
He releases my hand and I want to cry. He looks out the back window and says nothing. I wait for anything, but seriously he's working my nerves. He looks at me suddenly as if he can feel my anger.
"Are the rest coming back now?" His voice is cool and quiet and I know how hard it was for him to ask. He doesn't care about the rest of the Cullens, only one.
I shake my head and answer tersely, "No. They're not coming back."
He nods, "Okay then."
His responses are pissing me off so I go off because how much does he expect me to take? To handle? "Well run along now. Go tell Sam that the scary monsters aren't coming back." His expression remains the same. I egg him on, not caring if it makes me callous, "That he's not coming back."
Jacob's eyes narrow as he nods. "Okay."
So calm. I wouldn't even know that he cares if I hadn't just seen his eyes darken. Why does it matter so much? What the hell do I want from him? I know he has feelings of more than friendship for me. And my feelings? Who knows? I know I love him as a friend but there are times when I can feel it bordering on something else. Falling into something else. I hear him walk away as I make my way to the kitchen, blinded by tears. I press my hands onto the counter and try to get my emotions under control.
"Bella...?" My head snaps up to see Jacob standing in the kitchen doorway. He is no longer calm. Instead there is worry etched into his brow. I turn to him and he makes his way to me. His hand is outstretched to cup my face and I lean into his open palm. "I did it again, huh?"
I open my eyes and look into his. "Did what?"
He sighs as his hand falls away from me. "I broke my promise to you but I…I mean I knew how you feel about them, so it shouldn't…but I just, whatever. I'm sorry." He gathers me in his arms and all is right with the world for two seconds before he stiffens and is sniffing at my hair. "Ewww, you reek Bells."
I push away from, my good mood forgotten. "Are you kidding me? I do not smell!"
He actually has the nerve to smirk. His nose wrinkles up again as my temper flares up. "Yeah you do. You stink like them. Overly sweet and deathlike. Just ewww."
I roll my eyes, "Then why does Alice think I smell?"
He smirks again. I swear it makes me want to slap him across the face. "I imagine she isn't too keen on how I smell."
I throw up my hands in the air and slam them on the counter. "So am I supposed to bathe between visits so not to offend either one of you?"
His face turns somber. "No. I won't visit again while she's here. We'll be friends again when she leaves." He opens his arms and without fail, I rush into his embrace. "I only hope she leaves real soon. I'll miss you Bells, every minute we're apart."
My breath catches as I inhale his scent and get comfort from the heat his body radiates. It is so odd that only a few months ago, Jacob was barely an inch taller than me and now? Now he's over a foot taller and the top of my head barely reach his nipples. Okay, weird train of thought. I can't even get my arms around his waist. "Why can't we be friends no matter what?"
He takes in a deep breath and I can feel him staring, so I lean back and look into his black eyes. The face that has grown up so quickly over the past few weeks as he has taken on the added responsibility of being a protector. The face that is part of a war where I feel unable to choose sides. I love them both. I am incapable of choosing.
"Bells…" He whispers my name and I can feel a tightening in my stomach. His hands, his enormous hands, gently cradle my face and my lips part in anticipation and fear. I don't know. I don't know. His expression changes and I know its lust and love I see in his eyes now and it makes me feel warm. I realize that regardless of all the agony I have experienced in missing Edward these past few months, the only times of calm, or anything resembling joy, was when I was with Jacob. Then when he cut off all ties, it had hurt, hurt something unbelievable. I thought I was just missing my best friend, but know I was missing a part of my heart also.
His mouth comes down gently on mine and I moan at the heat that comes off of him. I can feel his kiss all the way down to my soul. He pours all he feels into as if afraid that I am going to pull away. It starts gentle, but when he tilts my head to the side, he accepts my submission and deepens the kiss. I wrap my arms around his neck, barely registering that he is lifting me onto the counter, spreading my legs apart so he can step between them. He breaks the kiss to nibble on my neck and growls when he feels my delicate hands on his bare skin when I work them underneath his t-shirt. He licks a trail along my jaw line, seizing my lips with his once again. I moan because I wasn't prepared for the onslaught of desire coursing through me.
It is different from what I felt for Edward, for when we would kiss it was as if my heart would burst from my chest. The heat I am feeling now is spreading out from my core, my soul, and when Jacob suddenly stopped kissing me, I know that he is aware that I am his from this moment on. Kissing him has liberated some part of me that I hadn't even known existed until his lips met mine. My breasts ache for his touch and I can feel the wetness pooling in my panties. I run my hands along the hard surface of his taut stomach and appreciate his physique. When my hands trail higher, slightly scratching his nipples, he softly howls and grabs my wrists, yanking them from under his shirt and placing them on my side.
"Ja…" I am cut off when his hands grab the front of my thermal and rip it down the front. The act is so primal, so brazen that I almost cum then. He shoves it down my arms and I throw it to the floor as he bites my nipple through the flimsy material of my bra. I cry out as he unties my sweats and shoves his hand inside my boy shorts to find my clit.
"God Bells, I need…I know you de…ughhh…" Jacob cries out as I start to suck on his neck while using one hand to rub at his hard on through his sweats. Two of his fingers slide inside me and I am overwhelmed by the sheer size of them. His fingers are hot and my insides feel like they're on fire. I have never done this with anyone before and I have never been this driven by need before. I start to buck my hips against his hand, wanting, no needing more. So much more. He starts to whisper in my ear, "Does that feel good? Do you want me to stop?"
I shake my head furiously, "No…don't…I'll kill…ohhh God, just like that Jacob. Ohhh…" My head falls back as he slides his fingers out, licking my juices off of them, slowly, making me want to fall to my knees and suck on his shaft like that. What the hell is wrong with me? It's as if he has unleashed my inner wolf or some sort of animal because the thoughts that are running through my head are insane and porn like. He licks his lips and I lean forward to capture them with my own. I actually enjoy tasting myself on him and when his hand deftly unclasps my bra, I smile against his mouth. Then the phone rings and he growls while I groan my protest. He grabs the handset on the counter as my fingers nimbly make their way inside his sweats to trace the outline of his erection through his boxers, dying to feel him.
His voice is husky when he answers the call, "Swann residence." My hands freeze when I notice the revulsion on his face and how his hand clutches the phone, his knuckles turning white. "He's not here, he's at the funeral. Filthy bloodsucker." He clicks off the phone and hurls it across the room. We both try to catch our breath as he lowers his forehead against mine.
I had to ask even though I knew it would hurt him, "Who was that?" I try to keep my voice level, but there is a slight hitch.
He growls low in his throat and whispers, "Carlisle Cullen." I release the breath I had been holding and can feel the anger roll off him. He takes a step back and my mouth waters. He is a blessed physical specimen. He takes in the sight of me - bare chest heaving, tousled hair and lips swollen from his - but I know he is hurt. "But that's not who you wanted it to be, is it? Even after this?"
I jump off the counter and hurl myself towards him, wrapping my arms around his waist as I lift up his shirt to plant kisses wherever I could. "It's you, just you."
We hear stomping up my front steps as the front door is nearly unhinged by Embry and Jared. Jacob quickly steps in front of me, his massive body being more than enough to cover me. I whisper into his back, "Don't leave me."
Embry speaks, "One of them is approaching." The venom in his voice is enough to make me flinch. Jacob nods and his two brothers leave just as abruptly as they came in. Jacob takes a moment before he turns to face me as I cross my arms in front of me. Then they fall to my side as I take a step towards him.
I reach out and stroke his face. "Don't leave."