I, Brighid own nothing of Stargate SG-1. I just like to play in their world every once in a while. I am also a J/S shipper. Like it or don't, I don't care.
Summery: An IM chat log that was found on Major Carter's computer. Crackfic
Xphish: So I just type like I am talking to you?
me: yes, but I'm not talking to u
Xphish: What did I do?
me: you pushed the button
Xphish: You told me it was safe to push the button
me: I never
Xphish: you did
me: I did not!
Xphish: What did you say Carter?
me: I said, "Sir, the button may be tempting, but please don't touch it or we could end up in a very bad situation"
and then U touched it
Xphish: That is not what you said
me: OK, then what did I say?
Xphish: You said, The button is tempting blah blah scientist stuff push it
me: ..................no, sir.
switch that last stuff with DO NOT
and they you may be on to something
Xphish: You told me to push it
you made a side bet with Daniel about me pushing it
me: Sir, with all due respect, I really do not want to talk to you right now. I would not be stuck here, in this little room if you hadn't pushed the button after EVERY ONE OF US said not to!
and I made no such bet!
Xphish: So it was a dream and I imagined it. Carter, I may imagine a lot about you in my dreams but this was not one of them
me: uh, yeah
me: it means laugh out loud, sir
as in, ha ha I'm laughing and you can't hear me
although some times people aren't actually laughing
more like, they're saying haha, funny....
me: yeah...uh sir, brbggp
11:37 AM Carter??
11:39 AM Heeeeeeeeeeeellllllllllloooooooooooo
what the hell is brbggp??
me: sorry, sir....I uh
me: I told you i had to go pee
be right back
gotta go p...
Xphish: too much information there Carter. Too much
me: well that's why you just say brbggp
me: so, what are you doing to entertain yourself?
They won't let me have any of my research to work on
mostly because SOMEBODY touched the button
Xphish: YOU told ME to touch the button
and well right now I am typing to you
me: WTF SIR????????????
me: I did no such thing!
And WTF = What the....use your imagination
and technically you're IMing me
me: innocent face
I can get the hang of this
me: have fun, sir
oh, and while ur using the facilities, I'd just like to use this time to say, I TOLD YOU NOT TO PUSH THE BUTTON to Infinity. I win. :P
Xphish: :p ?
WTH is :p ?
me: wth sir? You do catch on quickly
and :P is a tongue
You are sticking your tongue out at me?
me: who me?
Xphish: idk? I don't know?
me: VERY GOOD SIR!
Still surprised u didn't catch the tongue quicker though
Xphish: Yes... well... if I can't keep my finger off of a button that you told me to push, how would I get that a P was a tongue?
me: I thought you had a more vivid imagination than most....
ok, that came out wrong
Xphish: Yeah... I think it did
what's new with you?
wait, i'm not talking to you
Xphish: Ah but you are
me: am not
Xphish: yes you are
G8terboi: Are you two still arguing over the button?
Xphish: Finally, a voice of reason! Daniel did Sam tell me to push the button?
G8terboi: Sam, have you been teaching Jack IM lingo?
Xphish: I couldn't figure it out on my own?
Thanks for the vote of confidence
G8terboi: Well, obviously you couldn't figure out that when we said don't touch we meant DON"T TOUCH.....
Xphish: Carter told me to push the button!
sXeT: I believe Major/Colonel Carter told you NOT to push the button O'Neill
Xphish: et tu Teal'c?
G8terboi: Admit it Jack, we've got u on this 1.
Xphish: Scientific blah blah push the button blah blah
me: See what I've been putting up with?
Xphish: And I don't want any tongue sticking out from either one of you too!
I mean it
sXeT: My tongue will remain in my mouth O'Neill
G8terboi: Sam, I hold you accountable for him knowing this stuff now
me: He told me to tell him!
Xphish: It was an order
G8terboi: was it?
me: actually.............it wasn't
sXeT: I believe that is a ;)
G8terboi: It wasn't an order? Then why would u tell him????
me: I couldn't help it!!!!
Xphish: She can't resist me
and now if that wasn't inappropriate
me: I'm going to hell
Xphish: because you are a liar
you told me to push the button
me: Sir, seriously
It's 3 against 1 here.
G8terboi: Sam, I think u hurt his feelings.
me: Sir, r u mad me?
Xphish: why in the world would I be mad at you?
You just have convinced the others that I did something you told me to do
G8terbi: Because she broke your 3
Xphish: SHE BROKE MY WHAT?
sXeT: Major Carter has broken your heart O'Neill
G8terboi: Oh boy
me: Thank you Teal'c
sXeT: U r welcome
Xphish: what is with all this symbol and one letter.... things
you don't type anything out?
G8terboi: Sorry, it's uh...IM it means Instant Message...it's more instant when you don't have to type out EVERY SINGLE WORD
seriously Jack, where did u get your screen name if you didn't know that?
Xphish: That was for my email
besides Carter did it
Because Carter does a lot of things
G8terboi: She did did she?
SxeT: what kinds of things O'Neill?
Xphish: Yes Daniel she does. Like sets up an email address so I don't get junk mail in my real one
tells me to push buttons
those kind of things
me: I DID NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And I kinda have to do what he says sometimes guys
Xphish: Yes, the power I wield over her
me: but he obviously doesn't do what I tell HIM to do, like pushing buttons and getting us all locked into separate cells until the effects of crazy alien junk wears off!!!!!!!!!!
Xphish: For the last time
you told me to push the button
me: and for the last time SIR, what I said was....
as we stood by the machine, don't push the button!
Xphish: Fine Carter, fine.
me: thank you sir
Xphish: But I wasn't talking about that time
G8terboi: Uh Sam...?
um.........what time are you talking about?
Xphish: I don't push your buttons?
me: *gulps* Sir...
me: Oh....no.........no no no no
sXeT: is everything alright Major Carter?
me: Oh no no no no
Xphish: Carter? WTH is the matter with you?
nothing at all
I really should use this time to do some research online...I g/g
me: gotta go...
me: talk to you latter
me: bye sir
Xphish: Carter, wait
That's an order
G8terboi: Sam' what's going on?
Xphish: Carter...you're in an awful big hurry to get out of here, would you like to share something with the class?
me: No, sir, not really....
me:Oh for crying out loud SIR! That time didn't count!
Xphish: It does
G8terboi: WTF you guys?
Xphish: does to infinity
ha! I win
me: I'm not laughing sir
G8terboi: Sam, what is going on?
Xphish: Spill it Carter. I am sure that Daniel and T are on the edge of their seat
sXeT: I am actually seated comfortably on a 3 seat O'Neill
me: guys....i may have kinda sorta said...........
Xphish: To push the button
me: not in so many words
G8terboi: Sam you didn't!!!!!!!!!!
me: It was an accident Daniel! And totally out of context!
Xphish: See! I listen to her.
G8terboi: What exactly did you tell him?
Xphish: Yes Carter, what exactly did you tell me?
me: Sir...now really isn't the time is it?
Look guys, I'm sorry, but I may have inadvertently given Colonel O'Neill permission to push the button
sXeT: Major Carter, I am shocked
Xphish: NOT STUPID
G8terboi: *shakes head* Sam...
me: Sorry guys....
sXeT: Upon that note i believe i will now be needing to Kelnoreem, ttyl
G8terboi: yeah, i got some stuff to think about too
Xphish: Bye guys
me: yeah bye
Sir, you still there?
Xphish: I think we're alone
me: Sir you know that didn't count!
Xphish: oh didn't it?
me: Sir when I said you always have permission to push my buttons, i didn't mean the literal ones!
Xphish: But you did say to push the button Carter
Xphish: So then what did you say????
me: You aren't letting this go are u?
Sir, I actually rather enjoy it when you try and push my buttons.
And then you said, can I push it now
and I said, feel free
G8terboi: Oh God, I did not hear that
G8terboi: Sorry, i meant to say brbggp