BRBGGP

I, Brighid own nothing of Stargate SG-1. I just like to play in their world every once in a while. I am also a J/S shipper. Like it or don't, I don't care.

Summery: An IM chat log that was found on Major Carter's computer. Crackfic

Xphish: So I just type like I am talking to you?

me: yes, but I'm not talking to u

sir

Xphish: What did I do?

me: you pushed the button

Xphish: You told me it was safe to push the button

me: I never

Xphish: you did

me: I did not!

sir

Xphish: What did you say Carter?

Huuuuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmm?

me: I said, "Sir, the button may be tempting, but please don't touch it or we could end up in a very bad situation"

and then U touched it

Xphish: No.

me: Sir?

Xphish: That is not what you said

me: OK, then what did I say?

Xphish: You said, The button is tempting blah blah scientist stuff push it

me: ..................no, sir.

switch that last stuff with DO NOT

and they you may be on to something

Xphish: Carter.

me: Sir?

Xphish: You told me to push it

you made a side bet with Daniel about me pushing it

And T

me: Sir, with all due respect, I really do not want to talk to you right now. I would not be stuck here, in this little room if you hadn't pushed the button after EVERY ONE OF US said not to!

and I made no such bet!

Xphish: So it was a dream and I imagined it. Carter, I may imagine a lot about you in my dreams but this was not one of them

me: :-o

Xphish: errr

eh

ha ha

me: uh, yeah

Xphish: yeah

me: lol

Xphish: lol?

me: it means laugh out loud, sir

as in, ha ha I'm laughing and you can't hear me

although some times people aren't actually laughing

more like, they're saying haha, funny....

yeah

Xphish: yeah

so

lol then

me: yeah...uh sir, brbggp

Xphish: brbggp??

11:37 AM Carter??

11:39 AM Heeeeeeeeeeeellllllllllloooooooooooo

what the hell is brbggp??

me: sorry, sir....I uh

Xphish: what??

me: I told you i had to go pee

be right back

gotta go p...

Xphish: too much information there Carter. Too much

me: well that's why you just say brbggp

Xphish: ah

me: yeah

Xphish: yeah

me: so, what are you doing to entertain yourself?

They won't let me have any of my research to work on

mostly because SOMEBODY touched the button

Xphish: YOU told ME to touch the button

and well right now I am typing to you

me: WTF SIR????????????

Xphish: WTF?

me: I did no such thing!

And WTF = What the....use your imagination

and technically you're IMing me

Xphish: Carter!

me: innocent face

sir?

Xphish: brbggp

ha!

I can get the hang of this

me: have fun, sir

.....

oh, and while ur using the facilities, I'd just like to use this time to say, I TOLD YOU NOT TO PUSH THE BUTTON to Infinity. I win. :P

Xphish: :p ?

WTH is :p ?

me: wth sir? You do catch on quickly

and :P is a tongue

Xphish: ok

ok

You are sticking your tongue out at me?

me: who me?

idk

maybe

Xphish: idk? I don't know?

me: VERY GOOD SIR!

Still surprised u didn't catch the tongue quicker though

Xphish: Yes... well... if I can't keep my finger off of a button that you told me to push, how would I get that a P was a tongue?

me: I thought you had a more vivid imagination than most....

ok, that came out wrong

Xphish: Yeah... I think it did

me: hehe

whoops

sooooooooooooooooo

what's new with you?

wait, i'm not talking to you

Xphish: Ah but you are

me: am not

Xphish: yes you are

me: nope

shakes head

enter Gat8erboi

G8terboi: Are you two still arguing over the button?

Xphish: Finally, a voice of reason! Daniel did Sam tell me to push the button?

G8terboi: No.

Xphish: WTH?

She did!

G8terboi: Sam, have you been teaching Jack IM lingo?

me: Um..guilty

Xphish: I couldn't figure it out on my own?

Thanks for the vote of confidence

G8terboi: Well, obviously you couldn't figure out that when we said don't touch we meant DON"T TOUCH.....

enter sXeT

Xphish: Carter told me to push the button!

sXeT: I believe Major/Colonel Carter told you NOT to push the button O'Neill

Xphish: et tu Teal'c?

G8terboi: Admit it Jack, we've got u on this 1.

Xphish: Scientific blah blah push the button blah blah

me: See what I've been putting up with?

Xphish: And I don't want any tongue sticking out from either one of you too!

I mean it

sXeT: My tongue will remain in my mouth O'Neill

:P

Xphish: lol

G8terboi: Sam, I hold you accountable for him knowing this stuff now

me: He told me to tell him!

Xphish: It was an order

G8terboi: was it?

Xphish: wink

me: actually.............it wasn't

sXeT: I believe that is a ;)

G8terboi: It wasn't an order? Then why would u tell him????

me: I couldn't help it!!!!

Xphish: She can't resist me

and now if that wasn't inappropriate

sXeT: 4real

G8terboi: seriously

me: I'm going to hell

Xphish: because you are a liar

you told me to push the button

me: Sir, seriously

W

T

F

?

It's 3 against 1 here.

Sir?

Sir?

G8terboi: Sam, I think u hurt his feelings.

sXeT: Indeed

Xphish: :p

me: Sir, r u mad me?

Xphish: why in the world would I be mad at you?

You just have convinced the others that I did something you told me to do

G8terbi: Because she broke your 3

Xphish: SHE BROKE MY WHAT?

????

sXeT: Major Carter has broken your heart O'Neill

G8terboi: Oh boy

me: Thank you Teal'c

sXeT: U r welcome

Xphish: what is with all this symbol and one letter.... things

you don't type anything out?

G8terboi: Sorry, it's uh...IM it means Instant Message...it's more instant when you don't have to type out EVERY SINGLE WORD

seriously Jack, where did u get your screen name if you didn't know that?

Xphish: That was for my email

besides Carter did it

Because Carter does a lot of things

G8terboi: She did did she?

SxeT: what kinds of things O'Neill?

Xphish: Yes Daniel she does. Like sets up an email address so I don't get junk mail in my real one

tells me to push buttons

those kind of things

me: I DID NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sir!

And I kinda have to do what he says sometimes guys

Xphish: Yes, the power I wield over her

lol

me: but he obviously doesn't do what I tell HIM to do, like pushing buttons and getting us all locked into separate cells until the effects of crazy alien junk wears off!!!!!!!!!!

Xphish: For the last time

MAJOR

you told me to push the button

me: and for the last time SIR, what I said was....

as we stood by the machine, don't push the button!

Xphish: Fine Carter, fine.

me: thank you sir

Xphish: But I wasn't talking about that time

G8terboi: Uh Sam...?

me: Sir?

um.........what time are you talking about?

exactly?

Xphish: I don't push your buttons?

me: *gulps* Sir...

Xphish: What?

me: Oh....no.........no no no no

sXeT: is everything alright Major Carter?

G8terboi: Sam?

me: Oh no no no no

no

no

*headdesk*

Xphish: Carter?

me: *headdesk*

no

no

no

i didn't

no

i couldn't............

Xphish: Carter? WTH is the matter with you?

me: Sir?

nothing

:D

just...thinking

G8erboi: About?

me: nothing

nothing at all

I really should use this time to do some research online...I g/g

ttyl guys!

Xphish: gg?

me: gotta go...

Xphish: ttyl?

me: talk to you latter

Xphish: ah

me: bye sir

Xphish: Carter, wait

That's an order

Major

me: Sir?

:S

G8terboi: Sam' what's going on?

IDK!, Sir?

Xphish: Carter...you're in an awful big hurry to get out of here, would you like to share something with the class?

me: No, sir, not really....

Xphish: Carter....

me: Sir?

:D

Xphish: …....

me:Oh for crying out loud SIR! That time didn't count!

Xphish: It does

me: doesn't

Xphish: does

me: doesn't!

doesn't!

G8terboi: WTF you guys?

Xphish: does to infinity

ha! I win

me: Damn

Xphish: lol

me: I'm not laughing sir

G8terboi: Sam, what is going on?

Jack?

Xphish: Spill it Carter. I am sure that Daniel and T are on the edge of their seat

sXeT: I am actually seated comfortably on a 3 seat O'Neill

me: guys....i may have kinda sorta said...........

Xphish: To push the button

me: not in so many words

G8terboi: Sam you didn't!!!!!!!!!!

me: It was an accident Daniel! And totally out of context!

Xphish: See! I listen to her.

G8terboi: What exactly did you tell him?

Xphish: Yes Carter, what exactly did you tell me?

me: Sir...now really isn't the time is it?

Look guys, I'm sorry, but I may have inadvertently given Colonel O'Neill permission to push the button

sXeT: Major Carter, I am shocked

G8terboi: ditto

me: ACCIDENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Xphish: NOT STUPID

I LISTEN

G8terboi: *shakes head* Sam...

me: Sorry guys....

sXeT: Upon that note i believe i will now be needing to Kelnoreem, ttyl

G8terboi: yeah, i got some stuff to think about too

Xphish: Bye guys

me: yeah bye

Sir, you still there?

Xphish: yes

me: guys????

Teal'c?

Daniel?

Xphish: I think we're alone

me: Sir you know that didn't count!

Xphish: oh didn't it?

me: Sir when I said you always have permission to push my buttons, i didn't mean the literal ones!

Xphish: But you did say to push the button Carter

me: urgh

Xphish: So then what did you say????

me: You aren't letting this go are u?

Xphish: Nope

me: Fine

Sir, I actually rather enjoy it when you try and push my buttons.

And then you said, can I push it now

and I said, feel free

G8terboi: Oh God, I did not hear that

me: DANIEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Xphish: DANIEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

G8terboi: Sorry, i meant to say brbggp