Warning: This is very silly. And very short. But mostly very silly.

Don't like it? Not my problem. Do like it? Then review already!

Envy vs. Sexy no Jutsu

Envy was wandering through some random woods when something startled him. Out of instinct, he transformed into a random soldier.

"Ha! You think you're good?" asked a blonde boy in orange. "Sexy no Jutsu!"

There was a puff of smoke and the blonde boy was replaced by naked blonde woman who reminded him vaguely of Lust. For some reason, Envy felt vaguely affronted.

"Yeah?" he said. "Well, I can do sexy too!" He focused on naked Lust and a white light ran over his body, transforming him into...

"You're gay, aren't you." said the blonde boy-girl plainly. Envy looked down.

Naked EDWARD ELRIC? Oops. He hadn't meant to do that... although the view was nice...

"Well, in that case... how about this! Sexy no Jutsu!" repeated the blonde boy-girl, and this time transformed into a naked black-eyed teen with dark hair that resembled the back end of a duck.

"Well... not bad," admitted Envy. "Not bad. But not my type."

"You like blondes, huh? Sexy no Jutsu!" the black-haired guy was replaced by a man with very long blonde hair and, for some reason, mouths where Envy was pretty sure people didn't normally have mouths.

"Sexy enough for you?" asked the naked man triumphantly, clearly quite proud of himself.

"Well... yes, he's absolutely gorgeous," agreed Envy, "But... well, I happen to have a thing for blonde shrimps."

With a puff, the naked guy with extra mouths was replaced by the teenager in orange who had been there originally.

"You know," said blondie, as if an idea had just occurred to him. "I'm kind of short..."

Envy smirked.

"Sold! Lead the way, pipsqueak."


"And could you do me a favour? Pretend to get pissed when I call you short..."