MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING

Prologue:

Hey Nonny Nonny/Hey A Movie

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic but my original character, Alex.

Author's Note: Okay, three things here. First of all, I'm a real big fan of musicals, so I'm making this fanfic be a musical in addition to be being an adaptation of a Shakespeare play. Second, while I welcome your criticism and reactions to my fics, I would appreciate if your criticism is constructive in nature and if your comments remain as polite and respectful as possible. And any foul words or suggestive comments are not allowed in your reviews of my fics. Keep these rules in mind, then, while writing and posting up your reviews of this and any of my other stories. Finally, this fic is rated T due to one sex scene (which for the sake I've altered so that it is only heard and not seen) and due to the unpleasant and almost violent events in the middle part of the play. Now that you know all this, sit back, relax, and enjoy my interpretation of a Shakespearean comedy.

(The story opens inside a small community theater. A casual matinee crowd, made out of ordinary-looking human beings, takes their seats just as the house lights begin to dim. The audience immediately quiets down as the orchestra rises up out of the orchestra pit. The orchestra here is none other than "O'Malley and the Alleycats" from the movie "The Aristocats". O'Malley is himself on the clarinet, while the rest of the band are playing the same instruments that they played in the movie. A spotlight illuminates one of the theater entrances, and through the entrance walks the conductor, who is none other than everyone's favorite beagle SNOOPY in a tuxedo. Snoopy makes his way through the theatre aisles to his conductor's podium, and once there he turns and bows to the audience, who applaud and cheer wildly. They then quiet down again as Snoopy turns towards the Alleycats, who immediately steel themselves to begin. Snoopy taps on his podium a few times with his baton and then begins to conduct. The Alleycats play a soft, lyrical, romantic-sounding tune. Another spotlight illuminates the stage as ALEX [A/N: my original fan character] walks in front of the curtain. He dressed in a safari hat, safari shirt, and khaki shorts. Alex turns to the audience and begins to recite a poem to the music.)

Song:

"Hey Nonny Nonny" (The words are straight from the original play, while the tune is from the Kenneth Branagh film version of "Much Ado About Nothing)

Alex(Spoken): Sigh no more, ladies, sigh no more,
Men were deceivers ever,
One foot in sea and one on shore,
To one thing constant never:
Then sigh not so, but let them go,
And be you blithe and bonny,
Converting all your sounds of woe
Into Hey nonny, nonny.

Sing no more ditties, sing no moe,
Of dumps so dull and heavy;
The fraud of men was ever so,
Since summer first was leafy:

Then sigh not so, but let them go,
And be you blithe and bonny,
Converting all your sounds of woe
Into Hey nonny, nonny.

(The music picks up in intensity here as Alex reprises the song, but now he is singing it instead of speaking it.)

Alex(Sung): Sigh no more, ladies, sigh no more,
Men were deceivers ever,
One foot in sea and one on shore,
To one thing constant never:
Then sigh not so, but let them go,
And be you blithe and bonny,
Converting all your sounds of woe
Into Hey nonny, nonny.

Sing no more ditties, sing no moe,
Of dumps so dull and heavy;
The fraud of men was ever so,
Since summer first was leafy:

Then sigh not so, but let them go,
And be you blithe and bonny,
Converting all your sounds of woe
Into Hey nonny, nonny.

(The Alleycats suddenly begin to play a whole new piece of music—one that sounds more like a showstopper from an old Hollywood movie musical. Alex drops the serious expression he has been using up to this point, and spreads his arms out on either side of him as he shouts in joy.)

Song:

"Hey A Movie" (From "The Great Muppet Caper",

Alex: WHOA!

(He sings)

There'll be spectacle
There'll be fantasy
There'll be daring do
And stuff like you would never see

(SONIC THE HEGDEHOG enters from Alex's left)

Sonic: Hey A Movie!

Alex(Turning to acknowledge him): Yeah! We're gonna be in a movie!

Starring everybody...

(SORA enters from Alex's right.)

Sora: And me!

(The MARIO BROTHES—MARIO and LUIGI—enter.)

Mario: There'll be heroes bold!

Luigi: There'll be comedy!

(KAIRI enters behind Sora.)

Kairi: And a lot of fuss
That ends for us real happily

(MITSUKI and CHI enter.)

Mitsuki & Chi: Hey A Movie!

Alex: We can watch it all develop!

All: Starring Everybody!

(PRINCESS SALLY enters behind Sonic.)

Sally: And me!

(BUGS BUNNY and INUYASHA enter from opposite ends of the stage.)

Bugs: We'll take a world

InuYasha: And set it on its ear

Alex: Come on, join in

All: We're gonna start right here

(A musical interlude as Alex addresses the audience.)

Alex: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the ToonTown Theatre's production of that William Shakespeare classic, "Much Ado Nothing"! In this production, we your local actors will present to you a romantic comedy depicting the romances of two very different couples, the evil fiends who try to force them apart, and the unlikely heroes who save the day! And rest assured, it's gonna be a great time for all!

(MIKEY SIMON and GONARD enter.)

Mikey: There'll be crooks and cops!

Gonard: There'll be villainy!

(The WARNERS—YAKKO, WAKKO, and DOT—pop up out of a trapdoor on stage, surprising the others for a moment.)

Warners: But with us on call
We'll fix it all real easily

Others: Hey A Movie!

(MICKEY MOUSE enters.)

Mickey: Wow! It's gonna be terrific!

Others: Starring Everybody!

(The curtains part behind the company, dramatically revealing SESSHOMARU, who stands in the midst of a fading cloud of black smoke. He holds his sword, the Tenseiga, over one shoulder. )

Sesshomaru: And me!

(Spoken, as another musical interlude begins to play.)

Alright, you've had your fun. (He points the Tenseiga at the others.) Now I'm taking over.

InuYasha: Not on my watch you don't! (He draws his sword, the Tetsusaiga, and points it at Sesshomaru.)

Sora: And I'll help you! (He joins Inuyasha, draws out his keyblade, the Kingdom Key, and goes into a fighting stance.)

Sonic: Right on! (He joins Inuyasha as well, and goes into his own fighting stance.)

Sesshomaru(Calling off into the wings): Get out here, you fools, and help me!

Kurogane(Offstage): Hold your horses! We'll be there in a minute!

(KUROGANE and FAY D. FLOURITE enter and take their places behind Sesshomaru. After a brief pause, the two groups rush at each other and begin a chaotic fight, with InuYasha naturally fighting Sesshomaru, Sora fighting Kurogane, and Sonic fighting Fay. After about a minute or so, Sora knocks Kurogane's sword, Ginryu, from the ninja's hands and then points his keyblade at Kurogane, forcing the latter to surrender. Sonic knocks Fay to the ground with a Homing Attack, after the magician immediately surrenders. The battle next comes to an end with InuYasha forcing his brother to his knees and pointing the Tetsusaiga at hims. InuYasha makes a little half-smirk.)

InuYasha: Well, brother, do you give up?

Sesshomaru: I do. You win.

InuYasha: Good. Then you're forgiven.

Alex: ALL RIGHT THEN!

(Sesshormaru and Fai get up on their feet as the rest of the guys—excluding Kurogane—begin to sing again.)

Men: There'll be mystery
And catastrophe

Fai: But it's all in fun

Alex: You paid the money -- wait and see!

Women: Hey A Movie!

Kurogane: Is there any way to stop it!?

Alex(Spoken): No!

(Sung) Starring everybody

Others: Everybody

All: Everybody

And—

(Brief musical passage as the cast forms a circle onstage, and then GARFIELD THE CAT appears in the midst of the circle.)

Garfield: ME!

(The audience applauds as the number comes to an end. After the applause dies down, everyone exits except for Alex, who remains onstage.)

Okay, this takes care of the prologue. I'll try my hardest to have the first part of the play proper posted within the next seven days. Until then, G'NIGHT EVERYBODY!