Find a person who loves you for exactly who you are. Good mood.

Bad Mood. Ugly. Pretty. Handsome. What-have-you. The right

person is still going to think the sun shines out of your ass.

That's the type of person worth sticking with

-J.K. Simmons, Juno


Notes to Detention

Dear Diary,

Ok, so I realized I haven't wrote for about a month now, but I've been very busy lately. No, really, I have. Every freaking Wednesday and Friday I have detention with Slughorn (guess who doesn't?), than every Monday and Friday I have study sessions with Blake. Sometimes we actually do study, though. And on Tuesday and the weekends I spend time with Lily and Alice and the Marauders. Yep. I so told you I've been busy. Seeing as today is the first day of the end of my detentions (FREEDOM!), I decided it was time to converse with you. And, I shall repeat for you, I actually have a life now. I know, I know, I was shocked too. And yet, even though I have a life, I still write in you as if you could talk back. Looks like I'm still going insane.

Finally getting on with my life,

Alexa Embers


I was sitting on the couch, squished rather painfully between Remus and James when it happened. Lily and Alice were off scampering around, probably talking with their boyfriends, Frank and Daniel.

I tried not to mention that little fact to James; he gets rather moody when you mention Lily's new beau. His infatuation with her really is getting annoying, let me tell you. But that's a complaint for another day; right now, something major is happening.

Ok, so the three of us were just sitting there, the two of them trying to squeeze me to smithereens for some random comment I had made when Christy came storming in, a casual and calm Sirius following after.

I bet you already see where this is going, don't you?

Ha. Too bad, I'm going to explain anyway.

"I can't believe you, Sirius!" Christy screeched, throwing her hands in the air before resting them on her hips. Her eyes narrowed dangerously when Sirius regarded her in boredom.

"I don't see what you're raving about, actually," he said. He stuffed his hands into the pockets of his breeches and spared a glance in our direction. Now, I will admit, I still have a crush on him, but it's not as strong as before, now that I have Blake. So, let's just keep that little detail in mind, shall we?

Your correct answer should be: Yes, we shall.

"What the hell do you think I'm raving about? It isn't about the sex, that's for sure!"

Yes, Christy has never been the sharpest tool in the shed. She could've said something much more witty, like 'It isn't the food' or 'it isn't the service' but no. She goes for the comment that will only boost Sirius's already impossibly large ego.

Sigh. Now, she's a moronic wench.

"It was just kissing, Christine. Don't get your knickers in a bunch," Sirius retorted coolly. I blinked and gaped at him.

He actually cheated on her! I would think he'd at least have the decency to break up with her before moving onto his next victim, but no! Obviously, I overestimated his character.

I know, I know; I must sound like a hypocrite right now. I don't like, nor have I ever like, Christy, but still; nobody deserves to be cheated on even if they are evil wenches.

"Just kissing? You were practically having dry sex with her!" Christy shrieked. I flushed a deep red color and looked down at my book. That was not a comment I needed to hear.

My virgin ears!

"Honestly! You're overreacting, Christy."

I rolled my eyes in annoyance at his comment, pretending to read about how to transfigure a cat into a plate. Unfortunately, their conversation was just too interesting.

Christy laughed mirthlessly and when I glanced up, I saw her roll her eyes sarcastically, the orbs shining with unshed tears. I absentmindedly wondered how long she could hold out on the tough girl act.

"At least now I see what you're really like; you manipulate someone until you get what you want," Christy spat at him angrily. He remained unfazed, staring at her with a raised eyebrow.

I wonder what someone has to say to get through that carefully composed mask of his.

I didn't have to wonder for too long.

"You're just like that Lestrange girl."

James and Remus were up and over at Sirius's side in a flash while I sat there, staring at Christy, my mouth hanging open.

Holy shit! Pardon my French, even though that's not French.

She really is a moron. I chanced a look at Sirius and frowned slightly; his eyes were narrowed and danced with anger, but he hadn't moved an inch towards his wand. His fist were clenched so hard, the knuckles were white. I wonder why he didn't try to jinx Christy. Or, you know, damage her in some way? Maybe do some kind of painful, permanent damage to her womanly areas?


. . .I can already feel the pain, like when you hear about someone giving birth and all that? Yeah. Ow.

I tossed my book to the other side of the couch and walked over to Christy, who was glaring spitefully at Sirius. I touched her arm. "Uh…Christy? Why don't you go upstairs and I'll…um…I'll go search for Lily or Alice or…the other girl that shares a room with us?" I suggested, my face scrunching up when I tried to think of my last roommate. What is her name? I can picture a face, but no name!

How odd. Christy turned to me, giving me an 'are-you-stupid?' look. "You mean Mary?"

I snapped my fingers and grinned. "That's it! Yeah, I'll go look for her."

She snorted. "If you can't remember her name, how do you plan on knowing what she looks like, Alexa? Honestly, sometimes you can be such a moron."

My mouth hung there for a second before I snapped it shut and glared at her, pulling out my wand slowly and discreetly. "First; I remember faces, not names. Second; who the hell are you calling a moron, you plastic Barbie Doll? Third; you better get a safe distance from me because, unlike Black, I will not hesitate to jinx you so many times Madam Pomfrey won't know how to cure you!"

She eyed me doubtfully, so I held my wand at eye level, raising a brow.

I really am sick of her and a good dose of cursing will do my sanity some good. Unfortunately, she must have something working in that head of hers, because I saw a flash of fear in her eyes before she stalked off to the dormitories. I huffed and walked over to the couch, grabbing my book, grumbling the whole way.

Who does that evil wench think she is, talking like she's this perfect witch everyone should look up to?




I only stopped gathering my things when I heard my name. "Uh, Lexi? Where're you going?"

I look over at James. "Well, I sure as hell am not going up there. I just got done with my detentions for getting into a fight with Bellatrix, thank you; I do not need more detentions for fighting a housemate. Besides, I'm meeting Blake in the library today."

Remus gave me a teasing smile. "How much studying are you actually planning on getting done tonight?"

I scowled. "Bleh," I snapped before marching over to the portrait hole.

I am so uncoordinated; it should really be a federal offense. I'm a danger to all things walking, really, I am.

That damn chair was out in the open again, so, naturally, I tripped over it. I stumbled a few times before I managed to regain my balance. Once I did, I muttered, "Damn chair, always in my damn way every damn day."

I heard stifled laughter from the boys but I just continued walking, pointing a jelly-leg curse at James and Remus before disappearing into the corridor.

Snort. I bet that's going to be amusing; the Marauders just got jinxed! HA!


"Hullo Lexi! You're early today," Blake observed, his mouth spreading into a large smile. Somehow, I don't think he minded me being early too much. I smiled and sat down, pulling out my Charms book out of my battered bag, popping it open to chapter eleven.

"Yeah, I know. Sorry," I apologized, shrugging. He leaned over, moving his chair closer while turning my head to face him.

"Don't be; I'm not," he said before laying his lips on mine.

Well, I suppose we aren't getting much studying done tonight. Too bad; I have a test tomorrow.

But, hey, I'm not complaining!

I closed my eyes and kissed him back willingly.

And I, being the undeniable romantic that I am, kinda got lost in the whole moment. You know, as much as one can get lost in a moment that's set in a library. And, like in all real life situations, my lungs began to beat painfully, needing air.

I broke away from Blake, breathing deeply while blinking rapidly, a bit dazed. He really was a good kisser, quite honestly. Then again, I don't exactly have anyone to compare him to, so he could be the worst kisser in the whole world.

But really, how does one judge other one's kissing? By how much they pucker their lips? What if they have some weird lip-muscle disorder? Would that be taken into account?

It's really very confusing. So, I'll just stick with my earlier statement: Blake really is a good kisser.

"I really need to study," I muttered, frowning. Why did Flitwick have to choose tomorrow to have a test? It could've been on any other day, really, but no; it had to be tomorrow. Blake nodded in understanding and pulled out a roll of parchment and his potions book along with one of those new quills with the ink built in.

I had almost bought one at Diagon Alley this year, but I had heard there were a few glitches they had yet to work out. Who are they you may ask? Why, the unknown people who made the quills, of course!

Honestly! Do you ever hear about the actual people who make pens or pencils or quills? No, you don't. Never: not in the Prophet, or People Magazine, or anywhere else. You just never hear about them. I find that rather odd. I mean, you hear all about the maker of the floo network and all that rot, but never about the person who created the quill.

Sigh. I need to concentrate on my homework. It's times like this when I really hate my short-attention span; it never lets me finish my work. Well, I mean, it eventually does or else I wouldn't have the grades I do, but still; it usually takes a good half-hour before I run out of things to distract myself. Really, there are so—

Gah! Stop!

I. Must. Concentrate…Now.

Alright, this is not working; at all.


Is it just me or do I use words to convey actions a lot? I never try to make the 'whoosh' sound of a sigh. I just simply write: Sigh.

I do that with snort too. Is that as odd as I think it is? Or am I just distracting myself from doing my homework? Eh…probably the latter.

With a sharp exhale, I snapped my book shut. "Ok, well, I can't concentrate. I'm just gonna go back to the common room, alright?"

Blake frowned momentarily, but he soon smiled and gave me a short kiss on the lips before turning his attention back to his book, not even saying a friendly 'goodbye' when I left. I frowned.

What is it with him? He's been like that the last couple of times I've seen him; all…secretive and…secret-like. I really couldn't think of another word.

A thought struck me for a minute before it was quickly discarded to the deepest recesses of my mind: what if, what James had said, was true? What if Blake really was a 'wanna-be' playboy? Does that mean that he's beginning to think I'm hardly worth the effort?

…But, as I said, those thoughts were quickly discarded. Very quickly; so quickly, in fact, I don't even remember doing it. It was just a FLASH and the thoughts were…um…gone?

Pathetic lying, I know; I never was very good at that.

"Lexi! Did you hear what Black did?"

I blinked and looked to my right, watching as Lily's face contorted around his last name. I frowned. "You mean snogging some other girl while he was dating Christy?"

Lily did a double take. "You…know?"

"Of course I know! I was there when it all went down," I said, irate. I saw Lily's eyes widen, and, after revising my statement in my head, I quickly corrected myself. "I mean the break-up! Not the actual crime! Sheesh Lily."

Her eyes reverted back to normal size and she shook her head. "I can't believe he did that! It's like he thinks of women as…as toys you just…throw away when you get bored!"

"Or you get a new toy," I added sourly. Lily nodded and, thinking of Christy's earlier accusation, I sighed.

"Well, to be fair, she did say something rather out-of-line to Sirius."

Lily gave me a look. I shook my head. "No, really; she did! She said Sirius was exactly like Bellatrix. Now, honestly, he isn't anything like any of his family. Yes, he is a bit of a…womanizer, for lack of a better word, but he doesn't torture people for fun."

Lily mulled this over as we continued on our way to the common room. I shifted through my bag, making sure everything was there unnecessarily. I knew everything was there; I just needed to do something with my hands. I didn't notice we were on the staircase heading towards the portrait until I stepped into the seventh step and shrieked.

I forgot about that little rough spot; my leg sank downwards while my other one stuck out at an uncomfortable angle the lower I got. "Ack! Lily!"

She was, obviously, trying not to laugh at my distress.

Touché; I suppose I kinda deserve it, considering the amount of laughter I had used when she tried to fit into that children's dress. I still giggled when I thought of it.

"Yes, okay, it's so hilarious when Alexa gets stuck in this stupid step; now, help me!" I cried, flailing my arms. Lily snorted and bent down, grabbing both my arms and pulling upwards, releasing my leg from its imprisonment. I sighed, relieved, and patted my leg reassuringly.

There, there; it's all better now.

We ascended the rest of the staircase, Lily walking and me limping, until we were inside the common room (after reciting the password, of course!). When she saw the Marauders huddled on the couch by the fire, she rolled her eyes, stuck her nose in the air, and left, ignoring the offer for a date thrown at her by an ever-persistent James. I sat down in a cushy armchair, watching interestedly as James slumped into a mild-depression.

"I don't think you're making any progress with her, James," Peter piped up. I blinked.

Ah, so he does talk!

"You know, Peter, I don't think I've ever heard you talk before," I commented lightly, smiling at him. He bowed his head and stuttered, which amused me greatly; I tried not to show it though while I pulled out my Charms book for the second time that night. Unfortunately, Sirius must've caught my slight smile, 'cause he grinned at me knowingly.

I just tried to control my blush.

"Why are you reading your Charms book?" James asked after a few minutes. I glanced over the cover of the book and raised a brow, but Remus answered for me.

"We have a test tomorrow."

Sirius shrugged. "That test is going to be simple, mate. James and I aren't even studying."

I bit back a snort. "Oh? Confident, are you?"

He turned to me and flashed that grin. I stayed composed…well, outwardly, anyways; I can't control my heartbeat or what little pieces of sanity I have left. "Why, yes, I am!"

"More like arrogant, actually."

He raised an eyebrow at me. "According to you."

"According to most of the student, and some faculty, population," I corrected sharply. He narrowed his eyes while the others watched us interestedly. I rather liked having Sirius Black's undivided attention; it sent a thrill up my spine.

"Why don't you go and help Chris with her homework instead of bugging us?" he suggested lightly. James choked and whacked Sirius with a pillow.

"Do not involve me!" he exclaimed. Sirius rolled his eyes and corrected him self.

"Me; go help her and stop bugging me."

I snorted. "Please; I am not going to work on that helpless case. Lily can knock herself out. Besides, I'm not a big fan of Malibu Barbie."

James snickered. "We know; we saw. I was honestly waiting for you to hex her."

"I was sorely tempted. But, see, I can understand where she's coming from. I don't think she had any right in any way to say what she did," I added hurriedly, noticing the anger flare in Sirius's eyes. He calmed down some and I continued. "But, quite frankly, whether it be snogging or shagging another girl, I would be pretty pissed off at catching my boyfriend in the act. Either way, it's something you should be doing with your girlfriend and not some other girl. Honestly, it's horribly pathetic and absolutely disgusting; you should've at least had the decency to break up with her first."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "You sound like my dear old mum; be decent and all that rot."

I glared at him viciously and stood up, placing my book back into my bag. "There's your problem, right there! You think, because of the type of people you grew up with, that decency and honor is about not associating with people like me. But, the fact is, those two traits are about treating other human beings, whether they be muggle or muggle-born or half-blood or whatever, as such; as human beings! Not objects, as you are so famously known for doing."

I took a deep breath after my rant and raised a brow at Sirius, daring him to contradict me. But he was just sitting there, looking absolutely shocked. I rolled my eyes, hid the thought that he looked absolutely amazing sitting there, and turned to James. "I'm going to my dormitory. Yes, I'll try to convince Lily of your good traits instead of the many bad ones."

He smiled widely and settled back into the cushions of the couch; he's so predictable. I'm not even sure he noticed the insult there.

And, as usual, Lily didn't listen to my persuasions. Of course, I kind of suck at that kinda stuff; I'm not good at forcing others to see my way.

Ah! My bed!

I jumped on the cozy mattress, pulled my drapes around the bed, and snuggled under my blankets happily, not even bothering to change my clothes.

It's not as if I don't have other clothes.

Now I just have an extra pair of PJs.


"When I see all the papers turned over, I'll collect the tests," Flitwick announced, flicking his wand and sending each of us a sheet of parchment with the test questions. I yawned widely and dipped my quill, scrawling my name at the top. Glancing down the sheet, I noticed there were twelve questions and three practical spells.

I yawned again and stretched my arms before hunching over my table, reading the first question.

'Which charm can reveal anything that's hidden by magical means?

A. Specialis Revelio

B. Scarpin's Revelaspell

C. Stealth Sensoring Charms

D. None of the above'

I frowned and crossed off choices C and D. I thought for a second.

I read somewhere that Scarpin's Revelaspell works a lot like Specialis Revelio, only it distinguishes the ingredients in a potion.

Ah! There's my answer! This is charms, not potions. I marked choice A and quickly continued on, grinning triumphantly. The rest of the test continued in such a fashion until I finished and flipped over my paper, putting my quill down beside it.

And, than, for the third time that morning, I yawned.

Hm…I think, instead of not getting enough sleep, I got too much. You know, when you sleep like, twelve hours, than when you wake up, your brain is exceedingly sluggish? Yep, that's happening with me. Right. Now.

With a slight shock, I realized I haven't been self-pitying in quite a few weeks. Hn. I do believe, ladies and gents, that that's a sign of progress! Yay!

It looks like my impending insanity has been pushed back a few steps.

I glanced around the classroom in boredom, watching as nearly everyone continued to scratch their quills on the parchment, some looking flustered (ahem…Peter) and others looking too tired to actually think about the questions (my fourth roommate who I've learned is called 'Mary'). I tapped my fingers on the desk.

Tap. Tap-tap. Tap.

Tap. Tap-tap-tap. Tap.

Tap. Tap-tap-tap-tap. Tap.

Tap. Ta—

Whoops. Lily just shot me a rather terrifying glare. I think it's time to stop the insistent tapping, despite my obvious boredom.

That's what sucks about finishing before everyone else; I never have anything else to do. Well, you know, anything that doesn't either A) annoy anyone or B) cause anyone bodily harm.

I've already done A. I've yet to do B.


I frowned slightly, recalling this morning when Blake pretty much ignored me in the Great Hall. Seriously; he just…ignored me. I tried to be nice and wave, but he didn't even spare me a single glance. Rude, much?

That irritating little thought from the library came floating back to the front of my mind. I guess I can see him being a playboy; he's gorgeous enough.

Well, you know, not nearly as gorgeous as Sirius, but hey; I'll take what I can get.

That sounded awfully shallow. I apologize.

I picked up my quill and tapped the feather against my chin, thinking about my owl, Mina. I haven't visited her yet and she'll probably be put out with me because of that. I thought about later today and, pleased, I realized I didn't have any engagements.

Well, now I do.

I'll go see Mina, maybe bring her some treats, which I will probably snatch from James. Not like he'll notice.

I sighed and turned my gaze to the table, blinking when I saw a piece of parchment folded into the shape of a swan. Carefully, cautiously, I unraveled it and raised a brow at the unfamiliar scrawl.

My eyes scanned the words and I blushed. No. Freaking. Way.

Just to be sure I wasn't seeing things, I reread the note.

'Alexa: that's a lovely name, really (such a cheesy line). Of course, someone who looks as beautiful (liar) as you do should have a beautiful name. And of course, you have plenty of refreshing spunk that, I bet, goes past dueling (I think I began to hyperventilate at this point). And, as I'm sure you'll be happy to know, I've realized that Christy isn't my type; I think the quieter girls are more of my cup of tea (uh-huh; I'm sure, lover-boy).I was wondering; love, if you would allow me the honor to take you to the next Hogsmeade visit (snort. 'Allow me the honor?' He sure is laying it on thick). –Sirius'

Yep, that note is definitely real.

Of course, I did find things wrong with the letter (the cheesy line, the two LIES, the charm) but still…I couldn't help but feel excited. I mean, he actually noticed me! Shy, meek, little me!


And, as always, after this immense happiness, an overwhelming sense of disappointment hit me. I couldn't go anywhere with him that might give others the impression that we're dating. First of all, I'm utterly lost with the whole situation dealing with Blake. I don't know if we are (or ever were, really) dating or if we were just…you know, friends…with benefits? Second, I knew what he did to Christy! I mean, I can't just ignore that!

Can I?

No! Of course I can't! A small relapse in strength, sorry; my hormones have a mind of their own sometimes.

And, third; he'll do the same thing to me. We'll be dating for a few days (and I would probably lose my innocence somewhere in there. I mean, come on; he's Sirius Black! If anyone get a woman to give her virginity willingly, it's probably him) and I'll think it's going great! Then he dumps me like a ragged doll and move on to the next shiny new toy. And I'll become of 'those girls.' You know, the ones who date the playboys, say that 'Oh, no, he's changed; he loves me!' and than cry for days on end after the break-up.

Bleh; those bimbos really annoy me. I mean, really, how can you not catch on? Boys will say anything to get in our pants.

'Cause we're just so irresistible!

Or, well, you know, the pretty girls are; girls like me are just the…innocent little bystanders wishing they were the pretty girls that are so irresistible.

I was shaken from my thoughts when Lily attempted to steal my note. Flustered, I pulled it away, dipped my quill in the ink bottle, and wrote my response carefully.

'Sirius: such a contradiction to your actual personality. Yeah, well, as amazing as your offer is, I'm afraid I'm going to have to respond with a No. I'm already dating someone…well, kinda. Either way, I'm not available to you. And, no heartbreaking offence meant, I don't feel like becoming just another girl you can shag. Sorry. But why don't you ask Mary, who is apparently my other roommate? I'll bet she's fun. And I know if anyone can see the

second meaning there, it's you, love. And I resent your little crack about my spunk! –Alexa'

I frowned at the last line.

Does that sound flirty? …Eh, whatever; I think I got my upsetting point across. With a wistful sigh, I waved my wand and the paper folded into a swan, which flew dutifully over to James and Sirius's table, which was, surprisingly, two desks ahead of me and Lily.

How did I miss this? Maybe I'm not as obsessed with Black as I thought?

…Snort. Yeah, right.

Lily jabbed me in the side. "What the hell was that about?"

I shrugged. "Sirius Black tried to pick me up with a note," I whispered, smiling suddenly at the humor. Honestly, who in their right mind try's to get a girl…through a note? I mean anyone over the age of ten? "Ha. You know, if you think about it, it's pretty funny."

Lily stared at me before turning her head away, trying to hide the smile threatening to spread across her face. I poked her cheek teasingly.

"Aw, you wanna smile! You know it's amusing, admit it!" I encouraged. Grudgingly, she began to snicker. I, of course, joined in.

Isn't it nice how we can share such a moment with friends; even if it is at the expense of someone else?

…humph…It sounds better when you're actually a part of the laughter.

"Mr. Black, are you cheating?" Professor Flitwick squeaked. I raised a brow and leaned into the aisle-way between desks, trying to catch a glimpse of Black. When I did get a glance and I saw what he was reading, I blanched and sunk back into my chair.

Oh no oh no oh no!

"No, of course not, Professor!" Sirius replied, feigning shock. I watched as Flitwick hopped off his pile of books and waddled over to Sirius, holding out his hand. I covered my face.

Merlin…take me now! Kill me, please!

In horror, I witnessed Sirius hand over the note willingly and Flitwick read over the already unfolded paper. He looked up from the paper and directly at me.

Oh, how I wish the floor could just pull me down and away from everyone!

My face burst into a flaming red as I tired to sink lower in my chair. The Marauders were OF COURSE, staring at me, so everybodyhad to follow their example and stare at me too! I mean, come on; could they be anymore brainless?


…Oh ok, I didn't say that out loud. Whew. For second there, I was afraid I had shouted it.

But I didn't. So, it's all good.

Well…okay, that was a lie.

It's a tiny, teensy, weensy, itty-bit better. But it is far from good. I just got caught passing a note with Sirius Black.

There is nothing good about this situation.

Nothing, I tell you; nothing.

And, somehow, I knew the words before Flitwick spoke them:

"Two weeks detention, Mr. Black and Ms. Embers starting tonight in my office."

Well…shit. I guess I'm not visiting Mina tonight.



"Good luck with Black," Lily called as I exited the common room at 6:15 p.m. I grumbled and walked down the staircase, my arms crossed tightly and my face contorted into a scowl.

Sirius Black is a freaking arse.

I mean, he could've erased the writing on the note. Or burned it. Or ate it! But no, he decides to hand it over oh so willingly and land me detention! Stupid gorgeous bastard.

The walk to Professor Flitwick's office was short and sweet; I didn't run into anybody worth mentioning, there were no clumsy trips, and Peeves was nowhere to be found, which is odd. He's usually cackling and floating and making up those weird little rhymes of his.

I think the Bloody Baron got to him, quite personally; he's the scariest ghost in the castle, being all covered in guts and blood and all that rot. Blech.

I guess there was no such thing as hygiene way back then. Of course, it was said that he killed himself just after whatever bloody act he committed, so I guess he never got the chance to clean up…eh.

"Ms. Embers! You're here!" Flitwick squeaked when I opened the door. I nodded and sat down in a chair farthest away from Black, which is, sadly, only about five feet away. You know, it figures; when I was practically obsessing over him, the Fates made sure he had no clue who I was and I never sat within ten feet of him; now that I'm pissed off, I have his complete attention (which is a bit unnerving at the moment) and I'm sitting extremely close to him.

This is injustice if I've ever seen it!

Which, I have; quite a bit of it, too. And not only in my life! How reassuring is that?

Well, I mean, it's not reassuring to the other poor soul with injustice going on…but for me it is. I know, I know, it sounds selfish. Ok, it is selfish; but, really, can you blame me? The Fates and some Higher Power (God, in my personal beliefs, but to someone else, it might be Buddha, so yeah) is undeniably pissed off at something I've done or did. If I get cut a break every once in a while, I think I have a bit of a right to be happy.

Whew…long rant. Wonder how much time that killed?

…two minutes.

How lovely.

"…and polish the silver! I'll see you two in an hour's time, alright?" I blinked and watched as Flitwick left, closing the door behind him.

. . .

. . .

Oh…no…GAH! I'm alone with Black…in an office…faaaar away from any decent civilization, like the common rooms! Well, the Slytherin dungeons are just below, but I said decent.

I think it's safe to say that the Slytherins aren't decent in any use of the word.

"You weren't even paying attention, were you, love?"

I blinked again and turned to Sirius, trying to clear my head. He was grinning at me, his head cocked to the side and his arms draped over the armrests of the chair elegantly. Sometimes it's hard to realize he's a Black; sometimes it's not.

This time, it wasn't. He had the grace of every other Black member.

"No, not really; am I to expect you did?" I snapped after a minute of garbled thinking. Something was bugging me a bit, something he said in the sentence, but my brain was still trying to get out of my random thoughts and into the real world, so I couldn't really find out what was bugging me.

He stood up. "Well, you don't have to expect anything," he responded, walking towards me. I swallowed, pretty loudly, I think.

Wait! I'm pissed off at him!

"But, please, don't let me interrupt your expectations."


No, no stop! Stop responding!

I felt the heat flood in my cheeks (the face ones, thank you) as he placed a hand on each of my armrests and leaned forward. My eyes drifted subconsciously to his lips and I licked my own, which got suddenly dry.



Wait…did he call me 'love'?

My anger flared back and I picked a hand off my lap and pressed it against his chest, pushing him away. "What did you call me?"

He frowned and, despite my efforts, leaned forward.

Really, I must be awfully weak; I was trying with all my freaking power to push him away and he brushed me aside like I was some kind of bug. Stupid, arrogant, cocky—

Oh dear Merlin…He pressed his cheek to mine and kissed the hollow space beneath my ear.

"I called you love, of course," he whispered, prying my legs apart gently with his knee. I narrowed my eyes and, using both hands this time, managed to push him away. I stood up and, after putting a decent amount of space between us, glared at him.

"And who the bloody hell said you could call me that?" I demanded. No one, that's who, I mentally shrieked. I will admit that, with the female population (myself included), Sirius Black could probably get away with murder and still get shagged continually (myself not included).

But I'm a romantic at heart and have quite a bit of dignity; no man, unless they're my husband or boyfriend or lover or, you know, all three, can call me 'love.' It's much too intimate.

Black is in dangerous territory, even though my mind was still in hysterics at his contact. So was my body, but that's rather obvious.

He blinked and rolled his eyes, running a hand through his hair. I had a brief moment of weakness and imagined myself running my fingers through it.

Don't judge me! It was BRIEF!

Okay, it wasn't, but I pushed it away for the time being.

"You know, most girls are flattered when they get called 'love,'" Sirius muttered. I scoffed and crossed my arms.

"Yes, well, I think it's safe to say this: I am not most girls. Sorry, dear, but nobody calls me love unless, you know, they're involved with me in some way," I replied curtly.

He has such quick mood changes!

Maybe he's Bi-Polar?

Wait…can wizards have Bi-Polar?


ANYWAY…His expression quickly changed from annoyed to…well, it looked kinda playful and…hungry? Eh, I'm not analyzing it; too much work.

"What if I said I wanted to be involved with you?" he purred. I scoffed, again, ignoring the way my heart picked up the pace and my face changed from white to red.

"What if I said I'm not interested?"

He just rolled his eyes, changing his mood, again. "Everyone is interested."

My violet eyes narrowed dangerously. "Once again, I'm not everyone. Quite frankly, Mister Black, I have no desire to become one of your fuck buddies, for lack of a better term."

His mouth dropped for a split second before closing with a snap; probably his teeth crashing together.

"Is that what you think my girlfriends are? 'Fuck Buddies'?" he demanded, seething. I sighed sharply.

"Ok, that was harsh, sorry. But they can't honestly be called your 'girlfriends' either—" I held up a finger, silencing his protest "—you can't date a girl for, I don't know, a week, break up, than go and date another girl and so on and so forth, and call them your girlfriends. Sorry, Black; it doesn't work that way. Those girls are more like…err…friends with benefits."

I frowned at the poor name. Really. I couldn't come up with anything more creative?

Apparently not, seeing as that's what I told him. 'Friends with benefits,' blech.

He scowled at me, but I just turned my back to him and scoured the office, looking for the polishing supplies. They were on the Professor's desk, so I twisted around the obstacles and grabbed the bottle and rag, than turned to the silver settled beneath a heavy-looking piece of glass.

Using my wand, I lifted the cover into the air and placed it on the floor before starting on the polishing; Black can do whatever else I missed.

The rest of our detention was a quiet affair; I wasn't pissed off anymore, but I could tell by the anger rolling off him like cologne that he was.

"Marvelous! Thank you, Ms. Embers and Mr. Black! Now, I'll see you on Friday, next Monday, and also next Friday to finish your detentions," Flitwick explained when he returned. I nodded, smiled tightly, and left the office like a bat out of Hell. The hallways were, unsurprisingly, empty, so I took advantage of this; I speed walked to the common room. Unfortunately, while I was doing this, my brain forgot to remember the tricky seventh step on the staircase.

And, as a result, I fell through with a yelp. "Oh, bloody hell!"

I struggled, trying to pull myself out, for about ten minutes before giving up entirely and sitting there, one leg through the hole, the other bent, my arms crossed, and my face in a pout.

How stupid am I? I've fallen through this damn hole a thousand times before and I still forget unless someone pulls be up and away from it!

"Damn step, damn memory, damn lack of humans, damn it all," I muttered angrily, trying to pull my leg through, yet again. It, of course, didn't work in the least. It only resulted in my leg aching and my mood turning from pouty to sour.

This could not get any worse.

"You fell through?"


I hate that phrase; it can't get any worse! I should know better than to use it. It's a taboo for worse things.

"Hello Sirius," I grumbled. There was silence for a minute, than he chuckled and walked around me. I looked up when he stopped in front of me and pouted. "Are you just going to look on or help me out? If you aren't going to do the latter, can you please get someone who will?"

He kneeled so that he was eye-level with me. I gulped quietly.

So close…

"That depends. You see, I'm going to be awfully lonely on the next Hogsmeade weekend—"

"Nah-uh, you got Christy," I contradicted. Why did this little detail not make itself present before? I had totally forgotten they were dating!

"—and I would love some company," he continued as if I didn't say anything. I huffed.

"Ask James."

"Female company."

"Damn," I sighed, dropping my head. I took a deep breath and snapped it back up, staring at him evenly.

"I don't cheat, sorry. Christy is my…ehh…roommate and I can't do that to her."

He laughed at my hesitation. Stupid, cocky, arrogant, gorgeous, graceful bastard.

It's not my fault Christy can't be considered an actual friend. Well, okay, yeah, it is.

"What if I told you I was planning on breaking up with her tomorrow?"

"Than I'd say I don't want to the rebound. Really, you need to think outside the box if you want me to agree," I teased. He scowled playfully.

When did we start teasing and being playful? Huh.

New development!

Wait, I'm supposed to be mad at him…for…loving…someone else?

No…no, I don't think that's it…maybe it was for not loving me?

Eh, it had something to do with love.

He looked down at me dubiously. "I don't believe you're in any position to make a deal with me, Alexa."

I pouted. "Alright, alright, how about this? After the Quidditch Match on Thursday, we can hang out at the celebration party, alright? That's the final deal I'm making."

He thought about this for a second and, rather abruptly, grasping my arms and pulled me up swiftly. I yelped and tumbled a bit, ramming into his chest. Flushing deeply, I pulled away, only to notice the hand on my back. Sirius leaned in, again, and kissed my cheek softly.

I stood there, blushing, blinking, and trying to calm my frantic heart before I went into cardiac arrest.

"It's a deal," he whispered. Then he pulled away and looked at me with amusement.

Being beyond the capability to speak, I gave him a confused look. He got my message.

"And how do you know, my dear, that we'll win?"

I raised a brow and cleared my throat. "A-are you insinuating that y-you're not confident in your abilities as a b-beater?"

My face turned a deeper red at my stuttering. He smirked.

"Not at all, just shocked that you seem confident," he replied as we walked up to the Portrait of the Fat Lady. I grinned shyly.

"It's only Ravenclaw; not much of a competition, really," I replied airily.

I congratulated myself internally for not stuttering. He threw his head back and laughed, which made my smile grow as I recited the password for the Fat Lady, who was watching us with interest. I ignored her looks and walked into the common room, stepping over a bag and pile of books.

Well, ok, I missed the pile of books.

My toe hit something hard unexpectedly and I shot forward, tumbling to the ground. My eyes snapped closed just before I smacked into the floor, grunting.

"Ouch…" I mumbled, laying there for a second.

"Alexa? Alexa, you okay?"

I blinked and left my eyes open, staring at a startled Sirius. I groaned, but placed my palms on the ground, pushing myself up. I didn't have to do too much; he grabbed me around the waist and pulled me up, cautiously putting me back on my feet. I looked down at the heels of my hands and winced; they were scraped. I'm not sure how the hell I managed that, seeing as I wasn't trying to stop my fall.

Whatever; I stopped investigating my injuries when I was, like, four.


I realized I hadn't answered Sirius's question.

"Oh, yeah, I'm fine; that happens all the time. Nothing to worry about, nope, nothing," I rambled, embarrassed. Of course I fall, just when we were actually getting along.

Gah. Stupid Fates.

Sirius stared at me, probably making sure I wasn't lying (not really necessary; I can't lie well), than his face split into a mischievous grin. "Looks like I have a damsel in distress in my life."

I flushed and scowled, stomping away. "I am not a damsel in distress, you prat!"

I heard his laughter even from the safe confides of the dormitory.


This was going to be a very long, very promising, very embarrassing, and more likely than not, very amusing week.

I curled under my covers after changing into my pajamas and sighed.

Today was finally over.

I groaned when I realized that tomorrow was just going to bring more horrors.

Like an emotional Christy; Sirius is breaking up with her AND she's on her period.

Joy to the world!

. . .

Damn it all.

Romeo, save me, I've been feeling so alone

-Love Song, Taylor Swift