"Look!" Alice said, bounding into the family room. Honestly, why would we call it a living room when we didn't, well, technically… live? But Alice had in her hands what seemed like one hundred balloons.
"Alice, what, no, why do you have so many balloons? Not that I'm complaining, I just want to know why," I couldn't help but ask. I personally found nothing wrong with balloons, but other people in the house found them pointless and "in the way." But I wasn't saying names… Edward.
"I stole them," she said matter of factly. I just stared at her. Why would she pass up the opportunity to buy something? No, that wasn't right; she didn't always like buying things. I didn't even think she had an addiction to it, but what Edward says is law in this house, I suppose.
"Let me explain," she continued. Her and her visions… "They were in a car lot. And the sign said 'Free balloons with purchase of vehicle.' Well, I didn't want a vehicle, because I already had one, so I just went in and took the balloons. They're trying to persuade the American population to buy something they already have with balloons, it's not right. So I took the balloons so that helpless citizens wouldn't go through that traumatizing situation," she said, finishing with a shrug and a smile. I stared openly at her.
"What?" she said after a minute of silence. I said nothing, but shook my head. "What?" she insisted. I shrugged my shoulders again, not knowing what to say. Alice had her quirks, and I didn't know why Jasper stayed with her all this time. Lord knows I would ha –
"Emmett McCarty Cullen, tell me why you are shrugging and if you even think about shrugging again, so help me I will make you regret it," she said defensively.
"It's nothing Alice, really, just… why would you steal… balloons? Besides the already mentioned reasons," I said quickly. She just looked at me, and I stared at the television.
"Because, Emmett," she said, "some people actually care about the brains of Americans. They would be forever ruined if they had to buy a car to get a balloon," she said, her hands resting on her hips.
"Alice, only you would buy a car only to get a balloon," I said truthfully. She looked offended. Which was never a good sign. Usually this is where Jasper would come in telling me to stop harassing his wife. Not that I ever did.
"I would not," she countered. Great response.
"Would too." Even better.
"Prove it," she said, crossing her arms, on the defensive yet again. I couldn't prove it unless I were to fight dirty, and I didn't particularly want to do that. Didn't mean I wouldn't though.
"Alice, are you telling me that you weren't thinking of buying one of those cars when you got the balloons?" I asked, raising one eyebrow.
She looked me dead in the eye. "I was perfectly fine with my Porsche," she said in a low, dangerous tone. That caught me off guard.
"What about when you bought a puppy only for the 'cute little bow on its head'?" I asked.
"You wanted that puppy too, Emmett. And look at what happened to that," she snapped back. She did have a point. I did want the puppy. It was just so cute, and its little tail was wagging back and forth. And yes, I had gotten a little to cuddly with it, and it may have died, but that wasn't the point here. She was moving me away from the subject.
"That's not the point Alice. The point is you would have bought one of those cars just for the balloon if you didn't already have your Porsche. And why yellow? Could you have picked a more conspicuous color?" I asked. So maybe she wasn't the one getting me off topic.
"Like your red Jeep is any better," she said before turning on her heel and making her way up to her room with her stupid balloons. That I wanted.
"Stupid pixie," I said under my breath.
"I heard that," Alice called out before her door closed. I rolled my eyes.
Please please please review.