SG: This was inspired by the "Get Smart" movie. I don't own that, or Harvest Moon.

Get Smart

The datable men of Mineral Town were many things – emo, doctors, travelers – but there was one thing they were not: fans of Hannah Montana.

Though, there is an exception to every rule.

Rick had just had a rather unpleasant day. He had taken up a part time job at the neighboring Yodel Ranch, just in time for the cows to strike. You see, the highly intellectual cows decided that they should have a say in what happens to their ever-valuable milk. The average intelligence cows agreed, and spread the idea on to the dumb cows. The dumb cows, not knowing any better, rallied together to help the cause. Their slogan: "No pasteurization without representation."

Before Rick knew it, he was in a heated debate with the leading cow. The cows argued that no milk should have to suffer a fate as cruel, as inhumane as fermenting into cheese. Surely the milk didn't need to be cheese for human consumption?

And so came about the banning of cheese in Mineral Town.

As one might imagine, most of the town was only mildly infuriated with Rick. But, Rick thought from the safety of his bedroom, this would be a good time to relax.

From the privacy of his room's desktop computer, Rick loaded an episode of Hannah Montana.

Partway through the show, the chicken rancher heard the doorknob turn. Rick jumped, just barely stopping the video.

"Hey, Rick!" The man that had entered was Kai, Rick's self-proclaimed mortal enemy. "I was looking for Popuri and"- Kai noticed the computer monitor. "Is that Hannah Montana?"

Rick struggled to cover the monitor. "O-oh, no! I-it's-it's-it's a video meant to teach people about potassium in bananas!"

Kai wasn't fooled for a second. "I don't believe you."

"Would you believe a video about the history of the nut cracker?"


"Would you believe a newscast reporting Jackie Chan's recent affair with Ashley Olsen?"


"A report on global warming?"


"A sneak preview of the latest Vin Diesel flick?"




"A report on how soymilk reduces sperm production?"

Kai let out a sigh. "Rick, I'm not going to tell anyone that you watch Hannah Montana… Except maybe for Manna."

No! Rick had to do something. He had to distract Kai so he would forget.

Rick racked his mind for a solution. Then he saw the open window. It was a risk, but he could make it to Barley's open window from his.

"Okay Rick," Kai said, "I'm gonna go to Rose Square n"- Before Kai could finish, Rick sprinted towards the window and…


Rick had ran right through the wall and landed face first on the ground.

"Are you okay?!" Kai shouted, concerned. Then came Rick's muffled response.

"Missed it by that much!"