Here it is, the last chapter. Over so soon! Thanks for all the reviews, I love every single one of you for responding, good or bad. I realize the last chapter was a let down after the first, but I hope this is a good ending for you all.
There may come a time, a time in everyone's life
Where nothin seems to go your way
Where nothing seems to turn out right
Feeling her hands tremble beneath his, Lucas is blown away by her next words,
"Lucas… I don't have cancer." She takes a breath, and proceeds forward. "I'm pregnant."
His grip on her hands loosens, and he stares at the wall ahead, unseeing.
The overwhelming sense of dread that has followed him from LA to Tree Hill is suddenly released, being replaced with relief and… happiness? He thinks that's what he feels.
Of course that's what he feels.
So why is it that he can't tell if his girl is relieved or devastated?
"Oh my God," he breathes, "you're pregnant? Baby, you're pregnant?"
Peyton nods, biting her lip in an overly adorable manner.
But she doesn't seem happy, a fact which tears at his heart. He figures she's been more than upset all day today, probably thinking of the worst - so now that this miracle was presenting itself, Lucas can't understand why she isn't joining in his relief.
"Peyton, this is amazing!" He exclaims. Pushing further, he begins to ramble, "I mean, I know this is a lot sooner than we expected, but I've always wanted to have a baby with you. And now we are, and I can't think of anything better."
Seeing the tears well in her eyes - and not the joyous tears she shed at the airport when they'd reunited, but the lost tears she'd spared when they broke up - he feels as if she's physically burned him. "Peyton, why aren't you happy?"
Hearing his voice shake, and the somberness at a time when they should be rejoicing, she shrugs away from him. "Lucas we… I, can't do this."
His heart drops to his stomach and he's torn between sobbing and shaking sense into her. "What do you mean? You can't do this? We've talked about this…I thought you wanted to have a child with me."
She wants to hold onto him, kiss away the worry lines and celebrate - but this isn't something she can bring herself to do.
Lucas watches her move from the bed and begin to pace. And then it hits him.
There may come a time, you just cant seem to find your place
For every door you walk on to, seems like they get slammed in your face
Thats when you need someone, someone that you can call.
She's lost two mothers - one woman who had loved her completely, raised her and looked after her. The other woman who she quickly found out she was more alike than she wanted to be, but ended up loving wholeheartedly. Peyton hadn't had an easy life, things never came easy for her. She was running - she'd done it before, and he can't say he's all together surprised right now.
He gets up, reaching out to her, stilling the movement of her body. She pauses in his arms, but can't bring herself to reach his face with her eyes. "Peyton, tell me what's going on."
His gentle demand wipes her emotionless state away, and she falls into his arms, tears running down her cheeks. Just as her knees give way, Lucas catches her, carrying them back to the bed.
"Do you think…" he pauses, and starts again. "I don't know what you're thinking right now - but if you're thinking that maybe we're not ready, then okay, I'll give you that. But we're getting married, Peyton. We'll be ready, I promise. And we'll do amazing."
She brings a hand up to his face, stunned by his solid - never wavering - faith in her, and them. "You would make an amazing father, Luke."
Swallowing hard, he can't help but notice the tense of her words. "I would? No, Peyton… I will. And you will make an amazing mother."
Peyton shakes her curls quickly. "It's not that simple."
Not bothering to hold back his frustration, Lucas groans and falls back against the bed. "No, Peyton - it is that simple. You're making it difficult."
She wants to be angry with him, but she's taking away the best celebration they could ever have. She's angry with herself, in fact. "I'm sorry, Luke."
"What does that mean, Peyton? You're sorry? For what?"
Even though she wants to tell him this is going to the best experience of their lives.
That she can't wait to have a baby with him.
She lets her fear speak instead. "I don't want to do this."
Lucas's hand comes to his chest, as if she's physically wounded his heart. Tears flood his eyes and he can't look at her. "You don't want to do this?" His voice his dangerously low.
"Ever? Or with me?"
He's speaking out of hurt, and she knows this. Peyton whimpers, reaching out to grab his hand, but he moves it out of her grasp.
Lucas shakes his head. "No. I know that you've had a really rough time. I know that losing both of your mothers pains you every single day. I know because of that, you sometimes wonder how good of a mother you'll be. But I want you to know that you shouldn't - because I know, enough for both of us that you are going to be the best mother to our child."
Usually Lucas always gets it - he always understands her. But he's off base this time, and it surprises her in a way - but then it doesn't. He's pegged down the typical Peyton Sawyer response.
But this isn't a situation she's ever come across.
"That's not it, Luke. It's not. You know I've always wanted to be a mother-"
Fury is rising within him, it's almost hard to contain, but he squelches it for fear of saying something inappropriate. "I know, which is why I'm so thrown off right now."
Peyton begins wringing her hands together. "When I collapsed, I had absolutely no idea what was going on. The doctor began questioning me about the history of cancer with Ellie, and I got scared - it all added up. So all day long, after the appointment, I had - in one way or another - began to convince myself that's what it was."
Her voice is trembling, and all he wants is to hold her. He settles for placing a hand on her knee. She gratefully interlocks her fingers with his.
"So when I get the call saying I'm pregnant, my first reaction was relief. I cried - tears of joy, Luke. I was so happy. All of the pain I'd conjured up was something I never would have to go through, or put you through."
Lucas furrows his brow, rubbing his neck. "Okay, so what happened between then and now Peyt? You've lost me."
"I thought I had cancer, Luke," she stresses. As if those words will suddenly make him see.
And when all your faith is gone
Feels like you cant go on
Let it be me
Let it be me
If its a friend that you need
Let it be me
Let it be me
"We're getting married, and now having a baby. Everything should be perfect, Luke."
Lucas smiles and for a moment he forgets all of the turmoil that is entrapped their room. All he sees is the woman he's going to spend the rest of his life with, who's now pregnant with his child. Nothing in the world can match up to this.
"Then I thought about it. Ellie had me, a little younger than I am now. She still got cancer, Luke. What if I still do? I've escaped it for now, but what if somewhere in the future it finds me?"
He wishes he could dispute that fact, come up with some fancy speech to calm her down and make everything okay, but he can't because she's right. His insides begin to twist.
His happiness is dwindling by the second.
"Even worse - what if our child, someday, is inflicted because of my family history? I couldn't do that to him or her. That would break my heart, Luke. How can I do that?"
They sit in silence for seconds, both pondering over her words. At least now he's gained some insight, but he has to find a way to make this okay. She has to have this baby. He already loves it.
Not to mention the fact that if they were to… terminate this pregnancy, he knows they might not survive. Individually and as a couple.
"Babe, I know where you're coming from, I get it. I have HCM - there's a fifty percent chance that our child can contract it - if there wasn't the cancer gene in your family, would that fact stop you? Would you hold that against me?"
Peyton opens her mouth to speak but is stunned, abruptly closing it back again. Of course she wouldn't. She could never. So she only shakes her head. "No," she whispers.
"Then Peyton, why would you think I would hold it against you? Or why should this hinder us? There are a ton of other things that could happen - even if it wasn't from you, cancer is still something that anyone can be inflicted with-"
"Exactly!" She exclaims. "There are so many horrible factors, Luke. And okay, let's say our child doesn't come down with either of these things - what if I still get cancer, Luke? Ellie couldn't fight it, who's to say I can? I will not leave my child motherless. I've been through it, and I couldn't bear to do that to him or her. Or you, Luke."
His frustration has ebbed, replaced with a pang in his chest - he's hurting for her. He wants to make it all better, but she's so convinced. He speaks from his heart, hoping that it's enough.
"Because you're Peyton Sawyer. Because you've been through more in twenty three years than most people go through in a lifetime, and you've come out fine each time. And if, God forbid, you ever did - we'd fight it together. Now that this has happened, we'll make sure you get checked out on a regular basis. Peyton, there's always the what if's, okay? We can't let them hold us back from living our lives."
Her resolve is starting to wear thin. It's not his words, but the pleading in his eyes, and the feeling in her heart.
Lucas pulls them up off the bed, standing directly in front of her. He leans in and presses his forehead to hers. He takes both of her hands between his, laying a kiss upon the knuckles while gazing into her eyes. "Peyton, we made a baby. Just… don't think about everything else okay? Think about the fact that we created something that's half you and half me. Our love did that."
Peyton's stomach flips over and a smile starts to crack. Oh God, she thinks, that is the most amazing thing she's ever heard.
"Could you really get rid of our baby? There's a baby in here," he moves his hand down to her cloth covered abdomen, slowly moving the fabric upwards, placing his warm hand on the smooth flesh. A thrill runs through each of them. "Our baby."
Now I remember all to well
Just how it feels to be all alone
You feel like you'd give anything
For just a little place you can call your own
That's when you need someone, someone that you can call
Tears rapidly release themselves from her lids and she lets out a soft sob. "Oh God, Luke."
"I'm so selfish," she murmurs.
Lucas shakes his head adamantly. "No, you're not. I promise."
His arms wrap around her, pulling their upper bodies flush together. He loves this woman. He loves this woman that's going to have his baby.
Suddenly it's too much to take. He lifts her head and crashes their lips together. Right now, he wants nothing more than to be as close to her as possible, and the feel of their lips melding together is the best way to get this task accomplished.
And the fact that her leg has somehow wrapped around him, and beginning to move up and down his backside. Yeah, that works too, he thinks.
Lucas's hands move up to bury themselves within her thick mess of curls. A moan releases from the back of her throat, serving as a reality check to Lucas.
Moments ago they were deciding the fate over this pregnancy, and now they're about to move forward to the bed?
It's all moving a little too fast. And he cannot proceed without knowing she's changed her mind.
Reluctantly pulling back from her lips, the whimper that resounds from her almost pulls him back in. The noises she makes are all together too amazing. Especially to know that he's the cause of them.
"Peyt," he murmurs into her hair, placing a kiss on her forehead.
"Hmm?" Her hands are against his chest, and feeling his beating heart underneath the heated skin is too much - how can she be expected to focus at a time like this?
"Peyt, are you ready for this?"
Her eyes snap up to his, just taking in the clear blue - the emotion is strong and nearly takes her breath away.
She knows the answer to that question. After all of the inner struggle and turmoil, there's only one possible outcome.
"I'm scared, Luke - but this is our baby. We're going to have a baby."
Lucas's features light up, and he lifts her into his arms, reaching down to pull her legs firmly around him.
Their lips find a way back together, moving in harmony - his tongue swipes against her lower lip, and she pushes against his chest.
"I love you, you know that?"
His eyes flood, once again, with unshed tears. He walks them back to the bed, laying her gently atop the pillows and sheets. Shedding his t-shirt, he leans down to remove the baggy shirt of his she's donning. As he's pushing it up, he stops on her still flat stomach. Looking up into her sparkling emeralds, he places long, lingering kisses against her smooth flesh.
Tears flow freely from her eyes. This man - her soul mate - is staring at her with all the love in the world, and there's a baby nestled safely in her stomach.
How she could've ever wanted anything other than this escapes her, and she pulls him back to her lips.
"I love you too," he mutters into the kiss.
She figures that this won't be easy - their lives are going to change forever. Mostly, it's going to be for the better, but she knows their will be hardships along the way. But as Lucas Scott is removing the clothes from her body, and reverently whispering his love to her, she knows this is the only outcome she's ever wanted for her life.
And when all your faith is gone
Feels like you cant go on
Let it be me
Let it be me
Thanks for all the support, you amazing people. Let me know what you think!