Sneaky Maxwell Vs. The Goon Squad

7- 19-2000

Summary: Comedy. My very first Gundam Wing story (but not my first Gundam story) and still a personal favorite! I love writing Duo and Rasid stories for some strange reason. This has a couple of unfinished sequels I should pick back up.

Warnings: None… my comedies are good, clean, fun. I don't own Gundam Wing characters, Sunrise/Bandai does. I'm just borrowing them for entertainment purposes.

SPECIAL NOTE: These stories were written a long time ago, but I've never really done much with them. Some success with Weiss Kreuz fanfiction has encouraged me to go back and post all my old things here. My Gundam stories are typically comedies or spy-thrillers. These are some of my great ideas I got before I went to college so my writing isn't as good. I just feel compelled to get them on the Internet and off my hard drive. I haven't read any Gundam fanfiction in several years either so have no idea what's come and gone. This is mainly a purging on my part, but I still hope there are people who enjoy them. More will be on there way.

"Don't you ever get tired of the Maganac Corps up your..," Duo bit his tongue seeing Quatre's pure, aqua eyes snap up, "... I mean hanging around all the time?" Quatre gave him a generous smile.

"They're all friends of my family, and most of their families have been allies of the Winners' before we went to space. Besides, when I was very small I was not allowed anywhere without at least three bodyguards," Quatre said before sipping on some orange juice.

"All the time?" Duo asked, grabbing another blueberry muffin. Quatre nodded.

"What's that gleam in your eye, friend Duo?" Duo began to softly chuckle.

"How good do you think they are?" Duo asked with a wicked smile.

"What do you mean?" Quatre asked with innocent curiosity.

"They're supposed to protect you and your sh... stuff, right?" Duo asked. Quatre nodded as Abdul came up and cleared the breakfast table. "Well I'm wondering if someone could get past them. I bet I could," Duo bragged, leaning over the table. Quatre's mild skin turned red. The solider didn't even acknowledge Duo's bluster. He went back inside leaving the two alone on the balcony.

"Please don't say things like that, Duo. It's very disrespectful," Quatre glared, getting a little vexed.

"He didn't even give me the evil eye," Duo said with a shrug.

"It would go against the respect he gives my family to argue with one of my friends," Quatre's tone explained without sounding patronizing.

"No. I didn't mean any disrespect. I really didn't," Duo said in sincerity, "I just don't know. I guess I'm curious. That's all."

Rasid entered and discreetly stood by the door. Duo gave him an abashed gaze that slowly melted into a mischievous indigo stare. He wiggled slightly in the wrought iron seat like a cat before the pounce.

"Hey! Rasid, I have a question," Duo shouted and waved Rasid over.

"I'll be happy to answer anything, Mister Maxwell," Rasid answered formally while walking over to the two teens.

"Would you like to play a game? It'll keep you on your toes, and answer a question of mine. Besides, it'll provide entertainment all the way around. What do you say?" Duo asked, still wildly grinning. Rasid gave Quatre a baffled look. Quatre shook his head in dismay.

"If Master Quatre finds it permissible," Rasid answered cautiously.

"It would be between you and Duo," the delicate blonde replied.

"I just wondered if you guys could stop me from breaking into the compound and getting Quatre."

"Most certainly, Mister Maxwell." Rasid's statement was matter of fact with no hint of boast.

"This week I'll try to break into the compound to tag Quatre. You and the Maganac try to stop me," Duo proposed. Rasid measured Duo up and gave a lopsided smile.

"Quatre, you tie this around your neck. I have to get it for a decisive victory." Duo produced a vermillion scarf from his sleeve and held it over the table. Quatre laughed as he tied on the 'victory flag'.

"I accept your challenge," Rasid said pleasantly. His face suddenly grew grim, "Now get out!"

"Let the game begin," Duo said as Rasid grabbed him up by his vestments and dragged him out of the Winners' Earthside family compound.


Duo mentally patted himself on the back as he crawled behind one of the sofas in the Winners' massive library. He smirked thinking how easy it had been to hide himself on the supply truck and sneak in. A sudden dark thought hit him. Others could get in and 'tag' Quatre too. It brought a serious determination to his game for Quatre's sake.

He heard steps. It bought his reflexes to bear. He pounced at the sound only to fall through air and land breathlessly on his stomach. His quarry had side-stepped with lightning-like grace. He turned his head to see Trowa Barton looking down at him with blank green eyes. He held a cup of tea in one hand and a book in the other.

"Trowa! What the hell are you doing here?" Duo hissed in whispered aggravation. Trowa let out a high pitched whistle and had two Maganac at his side ready to protect their master's cherished friend. He dispassionately waved his book at Duo.

"Yours, I believe," Trowa said. He took a step over Duo and exited the library. Duo forced a huge smile at the dark faced soldiers. He patted the thick carpet and rubbed his hand over it.

"Persian?" Duo asked with a wide smile. He was yanked up in the air by his belt and forearms. He watched his three foot chestnut braid drag the floor as he floated down the hall. They stopped in front of Quatre who was headed for the library.

"Mister Barton was attacked by this person who is not allowed inside the compound, Young Master Winner," the one on Duo's left efficiently reported. Duo twisted his head up to meet Quatre's amused grin.

"You won't get anywhere by tagging Trowa. I'm supposed to be the target."

"Funny man," Duo hissed trying in vain to grasp at Quatre's neck. The two oversized Arabs had him firmly in control. "Why don't you do stand up comedy?"

"Please escort Mister Maxwell out," Quatre said polity and proceeded to the library.

"I'll get you, Quatre! And your little goon squad too! Are you hearing me Quatre Raberba Winner?!" The guards continued down the corridor with the squirming, shouting orphan between them.


Muslim compounds were heavily fortified on the west side. Duo found it out the hard way. He discovered, with delight, the east was fair game. He trembled, waiting for sound. The minute they started their prayers he jumped down the east wall and darted behind one of the few palm trees. Gazing around the tree he saw Quatre and the Maganac with their foreheads pressed to the ground as they proceeded to pray to Mecca. He could have made a quick victory, but he wouldn't want Quatre to interrupt rosaries for something so trivial.

He snuck over to the base of another tree and peered around as the prayers broke up. Panting, he carefully climbed the tree and came to rest on one of its branches. He looked through the lush green to see Chang Wufei pacing around the balcony in deep thought. Quatre joined him giving his usual cheery greeting. They were served water and fruit as they settled on a chaise lounge with a game of backgammon between them.

Duo slipped to the edge of the railing, but rather than hoist himself over he crawled along the ledge's overhang. He lifted his head and saw Quatre's bare feet. He slowly rose, concentrating only on the silky fabric around Quatre's neck. His right ankle felt a slight tug. A yowl escaped him as he fought for balance. The Chinese boy reflexively swept Quatre behind him in a protective gesture, ready to fight. Wufei saw Duo and shook his head in surprise as the American plummeted down the three meter drop.

"Duo! Are you alright?" Quatre shouted. Duo sat up, painfully winded. Rasid had the end of a wire lassoed around Duo's twisted ankle. Eight Maganac Corps surrounded him in a loose circle. He shook the stars out of his eyes and looked up to where Quatre and Wufei hung over the railing.

"I'm fine, Quatre. Just a little bruised and embarrassed," he said, seeing relief flood those compassionate eyes.

"Be more careful, Duo. I don't want to see you hurt," Quatre chastised.

"I thought you were kidding. Nice work, Rasid," Wufei said with a smirk.

"Thank you, Mister Chang," Rasid said with a nod upward.

"I could have taken your head off, Duo. Don't play games around me," Wufei snapped, drawing his head back over the railing.

"Rasid, please escort Mister Maxwell out of the compound," Quatre's soft voice called down. Duo felt a painful lurch as Rasid dragged him out by the rope.

"Rasid! I'm going to get you for this. Big time!"

"I'm sure you will, Mister Maxwell," Rasid said in a patronizing way. It spurred Duo into iron determination and a tirade of name calling accentuated with fist pounding.

"Goon! Bully-boy! Thug! You make me so mad!"

"I'm sorry about that, Mister Maxwell," Rasid said, picking up Duo by the arm, "Ready to give up yet?"

"I haven't even started," Duo shouted. Rasid gave him a rough shove through the gates, and a kick on his back side for good measure. "Better luck next time, Child." Duo glared at the gates, grinding his teeth.

"I'll have my revenge!"


"Please, Heero. I swear I won't ask you another favor for a whole week," Duo begged. Heero glanced up from his coffee with one of those fiery cold stares that unnerved everyone but the good natured Duo Maxwell.

"One month," Heero haggled, "and I don't even see you at all."

"Two weeks," Duo countered, "and I'll only call you on the radio."

"Three weeks with no contact at all from you… at all. Take it or leave it," Heero said, setting his coffee aside. Duo reluctantly nodded and began to fantasize about the shock on old Rasid's face.


"Of course. I'll have the parts you require, Heero. Did you need anything else?" Quatre asked.

"No, I'll see you in ten minutes," Heero answered. Quatre looked up from the blank computer monitor.

"Rasid, we need to make room for the Gundam Wing in the hanger bay. Mister Yuy is having some problems with his cooling conduits. Make sure the guest bedroom is ready as well," Quatre said, smiling.

"This might be a trick by the Sneaky Maxwell. We need to be prepared for him too," Rasid said in an over-serious tone. Quatre let out a glee filled chuckle.

"I swear, you're enjoying this too much," Quatre said, rising up and shaking his head, "Do what you need to do against the Sneaky Maxwell." He chuckled again at the Maganac Corps nickname for the long-haired boy.


Duo was wedged painfully tight in one of the Gundam Wing's empty missile racks. He grinned to himself in spite of the cramp that was developing in his left side. The Wing's vibrations threatened to shake every tooth out of his head. He felt it land and heard the switch-overs cool down.

"Nice landing, Heero," he groused, rubbing the bump on his forehead. Minutes later he could hear Quatre and Heero talking. He unlatched the hatch and saw Heero had positioned Quatre so that his back was to the missile racks. His hand began to snake out only to feel his wrist in a tight grip. Duo could see Rasid's dark, oversized hand cover half his forearm. He was roughly jerked out of the racks.

"That ploy is as old as the Greeks, Sneaky Maxwell," Rasid said, yanking him over to a crate. Rasid sat down and dragged Duo over his knee. He soundly spanked Duo with several loud whacks.

"Quatre,...make..him stop...now.. Aha!"

"I used to get the same punishment if I misbehaved, Duo," Quatre said as Rasid let the red faced Duo up. Rasid still kept a firm grip on his wrist. Stray hairs had come loose from his braid and were waving around in a frenzy. All he could do was speechlessly gape over at Quatre and Heero. The Maganac Corps soldiers were all clapping and cheering as Heero's face slowly turned into a maniacal grin.

"Trade you Wing Zero for Rasid," Heero offered. Quatre turned to Heero.

"What did he trade you?" Quatre asked in mock annoyance.

"Three weeks of solitude. I couldn't refuse," Heero replied. Quatre sighed and smiled.

"Well, why don't you stay anyway?" Quatre offered. Heero nodded following Quatre out of the hanger bay. "Oh. Rasid, please escort Mister Maxwell out."

"Quatre Raberba Winner, you are a dead man! I will get you for that!"

"Come along, Sneaky Maxwell," Rasid said, yanking him out to the open courtyard towards the gates. "Better luck next time, Child."

"Goon," Duo shouted as he was propelled out of the gates and into the sand dunes. He tripped backwards on his sore rump. He only had two more days. This insult only made his brain click harder.

A divine flash hit him. Lure Quatre out of the compound. But how to do that? Another brilliant flash. It was time he went to the circus. After all, it only happened to be a couple of miles from here right now.


The faint strains of a calliope wafted through Gundam Heavyarms's cockpit. Duo thought long and hard on what Trowa's self destruct shutdown code might by. He did not trust any guesses he could make about Trowa's thoughts.

Duo broke into Trowa's place and snooped in a small diary kept in a duffle bag. He smacked his forehead in absolute shock when the systems hummed and beeped, coming on line. Duo had used the word 'Middie' even though he had a bad feeling about it.

"Watch out, Rasid. I'm coming." Duo looked over to where he had put the Deathscythe to rest beside Heavyarms. There was a note attached to ease Trowa's mind, just in case he was not back before the circus closed.


Duo brought up the zoom on Gundam Heavyarms while he cursed the difference from Deathscythe. His quarry was staring up at the night sky with a wistful, dreamy look. The only light spilling onto the balcony was from the French doors where Rasid stood guard. Duo stuck his tongue out at the video icon of Rasid and brought Heavyarms forward. He stopped Heavyarms in front of the gate and vigorously rubbed his hands.

He watched one of the Maganac Corps soldier bring a pair of binoculars to Quatre and say something with a bow. Quatre took the binoculars and walked over to the railing. He enthusiastically waved when he spotted Heavyarms. Duo brought up the Gundam' s right arm. He watched Quatre bolt back through the French doors tossing Rasid the binoculars.

"Come to Papa." Duo quickly climbed out of the cockpit and hid behind the Gundam's massive foot.

"I thought you weren't coming by this weekend," Quatre called out. Duo could hear Quatre's soft steps towards Heavyarms. "Trowa? Where are you and why did you travel in your Gundam?" He was peering up at the cockpit with bafflement. Duo sprang to Quatre's left and grabbed his elbow.

"Ha!" He yanked the loosely tied silk off with a loud snap just as Rasid grabbed Duo's fist. Rasid let out a huge growl as Duo skipped around the pair laughing.

"In your face, Rasid," he chanted, waving the cloth around.

"I'm so sorry, Rasid. It was my fault," Quatre said, frowning.

"No, Master Quatre. I failed. Who would have imagined your truest friend would have aided in such a plot concocted by this boy," Rasid said in disgust. Duo stopped his victory dance with a huge grin.

"Trowa didn't. I just borrowed Heavyarms for a little while." Quatre and Rasid exchanged somber looks. A searing screech caught their attention. Rasid grabbed the two teens by the waist and flung himself over them, protecting them from the heat gusted sand and earthshaking vibrations.

The trio got up shaking and coughing. They looked up to see Duo's Gundam, Deathscythe. Trowa stood on the cockpit platform with his arms crossed. He was still in full clown costume.

"Aw, crap," Duo whispered. Rasid began to pat the top of Duo's head.

"It looks like the Sneaky Maxwell didn't coordinate his plans with Mister Barton," Rasid said with and open gloating tone. There was only silence as Trowa's enigmatic gaze bore down hard on Duo. He smiled back up the clown and flung his hands in Heavyarms' direction.

"I found your Gundam for you..." It was a half question testing Trowa's forgiveness. The stare never wavered. "Trowa, I know somewhere deep down inside you have a sense of humor. Trowa?"

Trowa got back in the cockpit and closed the hatch. The Deathscythe's thermal weapon arced out brightly in the night sky. "Protect me," Duo said, ducking behind Rasid.

"I'm going to teach you a lesson. A different one than you think. Never use me to trifle with my friends ever again," Trowa's voice sounded unearthly over the external speakers. Duo had a sudden horrible feeling that he had cheated and wasn't even aware of it.

"I was wrong! I'm sorry, Trowa," Duo begged in earnest. Deathscythe made no move to back down.

"Please take Duo into the compound while I talk to Trowa," Quatre mumbled in wide eyed awe.

"Yes, Master. Come along," Rasid said, hauling Duo through the gate. "I've enjoyed our little game. We will play again some day?"

"This game is dangerous to my health. I don't think I'll be teasing you guys again," Duo mumbled.

"I guess it is for the best. I would hate to wear my hand out on your backside again," Rasid said, letting go of a gusty laugh. Duo furiously blushed as Rasid threw an arm over his shoulder. He let out more powerful laughter while Duo murmured 'goon' under his breath.

The End.