A/N: Alright, another one-shot!
And it might be funnier in my head, but I dunno . . .we'll see, right?
Disclaimer: S.E Hinton owns the Outsiders (God, typing that sentence broke my heart. xD) I'm borrowing them, but no, I don't own them. . .(Great! Now I'm depressed.)
"Hey guys," Pony greeted his brothers and friends as he walked through the door. He stopped short and turned around, looking like he saw a ghost.
"What's the matter, kid?" Two-Bit asked, not seeing anything out of the ordinary. The other boys in the room looked up from whatever they were doing at Two-Bit's question.
"Wha - what are they doing here?" Pony asked in awe, pointing to the two boys sitting on the couch. One with black hair, the other with blonde. They both waved. "Hiya!"
Pony yelped and leapt behind the sofa, only his eyes visible over it.
"Oops! We forgot to tell you. . . Johnny and Dally are alive!" Soda said cheerfully, nodding at his little brother.
"But how. . .?"
"Shh! Pony!" Two-Bit signaled the young greaser to be quiet. "The author's trying to be inconspicuous, and hoping that no one asks how they're alive!"
"Yep. So. . .it's by some magical power that they're alive!" Darry said with a tone that showed everyone that the conversation was over. And no one wanted to mess with Darry, because he does have those arm muscles that S.E Hinton said 'bulged like oversized baseballs'. The kind only professional wrestlers had. So just imagine Stone Cold Steve Austin. Except with more hair.
"Is there any reason why the author made them - " Pony started, but was cut off once again.
"Hey Ponyboy." Steve entered the room and acknowledged his best friend's younger brother. Everyone (except Pony) gasped in shock.
"What?" Pony asked, confused.
"S-Steve said hi to you!" Johnny said, looking fearful. "Steve's not supposed to be nice to you, remember? He hates you with a burning passion because Soda likes you better!"
"Oh, sorry guys. That was an OOC moment for me, I guess!" Steve giggled. He turned to Pony, giving him a look of hatred. "Argh! Stop following Soda and me, you. . .follower!"
"Anything happen today at school today, Pony?" Darry asked his little brother before Pony could answer Steve. . .or ask what 'OOC' was.
Pony thought for a moment. "Well, I did almost get jumped by Socs today, because even though I never got jumped before I turned fourteen, they're all over me now. Oh, yeah. And I met this new girl at school. Oh, and - "
"WHAT?" all six boys yelled at the same time.
Pony jumped. "What?"
"Ohmygod! Why didn't our sixth sense tell us all to meet at the DX today so we could see her?" Soda asked, on the verge of a breakdown, it seemed.
"Uh, she wasn't at the DX, but - " Pony started, but was cut off.
"Of course she was!" Dally rolled his eyes at the young greaser's ignorance. "We all needed to meet at the DX today so that we could get there in time to witness some Socs trying to rape her, or her boyfriend beating on her so we can rescue her from a terrible fate!"
Pony felt like he was going to faint. Dally was being. . .heroic?
"What was her name?" Johnny asked, looking at his best friend, acting like he already knew.
"Esmeralda!" Soda guessed.
"Fifi Trixibelle!" Darry yelled.
"Oh, I know! Sapphire!" Two-Bit said.
"Lisa," Ponyboy said slowly, wondering where they got these names from.
"Lisa?! But her name must be as unique and beautiful as she is!" Soda said reasonably. The other five boys nodded vigorously.
"You don't even know what she looks like. . ." Pony said, wondering if he needed to call the mental institution.
"Well, where did you meet her then, kid?" Dally said, annoyed with Pony's plain description of Lisa.
"Oh, uh. . .I was assigned to be her partner for - "
"English, of course," Soda supplied. "So she can show you her brilliant, deep mind. Like you!"
Pony didn't know whether to take the compliment or not.
"Or biology, so you can compare her to that Soc girl that broke your heart when she embarrassed you in front of everybody!" Johnny said happily.
"How do you guys know about her?" Pony asked. "And no. I was her partner in math class. We were going over quadratic equations, and - "
"Bor-ing!" Two-Bit said in a singsong voice. "Well, what'd she look like?"
"Well, she had - " Pony said, knowing he wouldn't get to finish, and wasn't surprised when Steve interrupted.
"Let me guess! Dark, raven colored hair that flows down her back and shines like the moonlight."
Everyone applauded, except Pony, who's jaw dropped.
"Oh, and sparkling, large, bright brown eyes that glisten and sparkle with emotion. You could probably see the hurt from her mommy abandoning her and leaving her with her drunk daddy, and the hope and love in them because she's still pure and good at heart - "
"That means I get to fall in love with her!" Johnny cried happily.
"Or I do," Two-Bit argued. "Because my parental unit left me too. . ."
"Or me, because I don't get along with my dad!" Steve pointed out.
Pony stopped them. "Actually, she has brown hair. And light blue eyes."
"What? She must've dyed her hair because she doesn't want anyone to know who she is. . ." Darry said reasonably.
"OMG!!1!!1 LYK, SHE'S MY LONG LOST SISTA!" Dally yelled. "Because she has light blue eyes. LIKE ME!"
The five boys all started whooping and jumping at the mention of Dally's 'sister'.
"You have a sister?" Pony asked curiously.
"Apparently, kid!" Dally said smugly. "Jealous?"
"Nah, we have enough sisters," Soda said nonchalantly. Johnny and Steve nodded too.
"What about me?" Two-Bit asked sadly.
"You have a sister," Pony told him slowly. 'The only one of us who actually does,' Pony said in his head.
"Oh, yeah. By the way, she's really looking forward to your date tomorrow, Pone."
"What?" Pony screamed.
"Don't be dumb, Pony. You fell in love the moment I decided to bring her along to see my scary, cursing, JD friends!" Two-Bit told him, slightly put-off.
Pony leaned against the wall. What was happening. . ?
"Anyway. Stop being dumb, Pony!" Soda told him. Pony snorted. "What's her home life like? We need to save her!"
"Soda. . .I saw her get picked up by her dad. He seemed pretty nice," Pony explained to his brother.
"It's all an act, of course!"
"Is she a Soc or a Greaser?" Dally wanted to know. Finally! Some sense! Of course Dally would care if the girl was one of them or not.
Or, so Pony thought, until Dally continued. "Because we need to know if she's a different greasy girl. One who wears decent sized skirts. . ."
"And carries around a switchblade and isn't afraid to fight!" Steve put in.
". . .But manages to be different and bold, but still funny, street-wise, and sweet," Dally finished.
"Or a cool Soc. One who thinks the feud between our classes is dumb and single-handedly brings down the segregation, and makes us feel differently about Socs, because she loves us!" Two-Bit said.
"She's a middle-classer," Pony sighed, annoyed. "Can you guys just shut up already? It was only for one period that I worked with her, and - "
"I know what you're doing. You just want her all to yourself, don't you? DON'T YOU?" Steve said, pointing to Pony accusingly. Then, as an afterthought, he said, "Follower."
"You. Have. A. Girl. Friend," Pony said through gritted teeth.
"Well. . .yeah. But Evie's nothing special. I need a girl that's out of this world. Or time period anyway. I'll just break up with her. She'll understand."
"But I'm the heartbroken, loving, handsome boy!" Soda whined. "I should get her!"
"But I need a girl that can keep me from straying! Keep me in a long-term relationship!" Two-Bit argued.
Dally broke in. "And I need someone to show me some good in the world, before I go kill myself again!"
Johnny said quietly. "And I need a girl to show me that someone loves me. . ."
Pony looked at his best friend, and put one arm around his shoulders in a brotherly hug. "We love you, Johnny."
"Ohmygwash!" Soda screamed, clapping his hands. "Pony's gay!"
Pony retracted his arm quickly. "Soda!" he screamed at his brother.
"It's alright buddy. Whatever makes you happy," Darry said mechanically to his youngest brother.
"Put in another dime and he'll say it again," Two-Bit told Pony, nodding to Darry.
"Oh! That's it!" Steve said, realizing something. "She teaches us to except Pony and Johnny being gay, and she gets those two out of the closet!"
Johnny blushed and Pony was still enraged. "I'm. . .not. . .gay!"
"Good," Dally nodded at Pony. "Because then I'd have to get all mad at you for turning Johnny gay because everyone knows I love Johnny, but just will never admit it."
Pony almost fainted.
"So Pony. . .You're going to invite Lisa," Darry said her name like it was extremely odd. "Over our house tomorrow so the gang can meet her, fall in love with her after her dark, shadowed past is revealed, and accept her as one of us!"
"Yeah!" Soda cheered. "If you get her over here by tomorrow, we might even get her in the gang before the weekend! But watch out for those Socs. . .because you know how much they love hitting on her."
"Alright! That's it!" Pony stomped his foot on the ground. "I'm going to bed. Maybe when I wake up, things'll be back to normal, and the author will actually be serious when she writes us, like she should be!"
Pony stormed out of the room, went down the hall to his room, and slammed his door.
"Geez! What's wrong with Ponyboy?" Soda asked everyone worriedly. "Do you think he's has pent up feelings of anger and pain that we don't know about, (despite the fact that we've known him his whole life) because he's such a great actor?"
Steve looked at his friend, patting him on the shoulder.
"Don't worry. It's nothing Lisa can't fix."
A/N: I dunno. It seemed funnier in my head?
As you can see--funny isn't my style. xD
Attention: I'm thinking of writing a chapter story; but I want to know people's opinions. So, review (DO THAT NOW!) and then vote in my poll?
**Thanks everyone for reviewing 'What About Me?' You guys get virtual love! ;) And if that plot wasn't over-used, this one most definitely is. I just love reading the funny fics where one gang member is sane and the others aren't. I've seen a lot like that.**