You know the drill; Disney owns the characters and I'm taking them for a test drive.
It was a beautiful afternoon in mid June, and sixteen year old Hana Stoppable was planning on enjoying it to the fullest. It was the first full day of summer vacation, she had her boyfriend by her side, and they were on their way to the train station so they could hit their favorite eating establishment for lunch. Although Hana didn't need an excuse to go to the Pit Stop Diner in Upperton, she usually came up with one anyway. For Hana Stoppable, life was good. "I love summer!" she shouted to the heavens for the five hundred and twenty sixth time.
"Really? I had no clue," her companion, a fifteen year old boy with long jet black hair that was pulled into a ponytail said; his blue green eyes gazed at her with amused affection. "I mean, you only say that every five minutes."
"Hey, I calls them like I sees them, Joey." She was about to plant one on her guy's lips when the four dreaded alarm tones sounded from her wristwatch. "Oh come on!" Hana protested. "It's the first day of summer vacation!" A holographic image of Dr. Wade Load appeared over the watch face. "What's the sitch, Wade?"
"We have a bomb threat at the Atlas Comics printing center in Upperton," the longtime gadget maker and information man of Team Possible said.
"The hits just keep on coming," Joey grumbled. Anything having to do with Atlas Comics could mean only one thing. He was at it again.
"Can't someone else handle this?" Hana demanded. "We were just about to grab some lunch."
"Sorry, Han, but you're next on the rotation for this."
"But we handled it last time!"
"No, Kim and Joss handled it last time. And Lynn and Miles handled it the time before. Sorry, Hana, like I said, you and Joey are next on the rotation. Your ride will be at your place in fifteen minutes. You better go get suited up."
Hana wasn't ready to admit defeat yet. "Wait a sec, Wade, if Sis and Joss went after him last time, then what about-"
"Not gonna work, Hana," Wade said. "You guys are on the clock."
The image of Wade faded and Hana let out an exasperated groan. "This tanks."
"Hey, he's part of your family," Joey said, referring to their target.
"We're not related by blood!" I am so glad we're not related by blood.
The man in the back cape and silver helmet paced angrily on one of the catwalks of the printing center. "They're not taking me seriously," he said in a high, almost screeching voice. He could see through the windows that there was only a minimal police presence. "They're not taking me seriously, and they're probably sending in Kim Possible's lap dogs to try and stop me. No matter! This time it is I who will be the victor! Ha ha! Ha ha ha ha haaaaaaa ha ha ha haaaaa!"
Less than half an hour later, the two Team Possible operatives arrived at the Upperton printing center for Atlas Comics and sprinted up to the officer in charge. "I'm Hana Stoppable," the Asian teenager in the black long sleeve t-shirt and grey cargo pants said, "and this is my partner Nogo. We're your Team Possible reps for this little emergency." The young man beside Hana wore a uniform similar to the one once worn by the former villain Shego, only his was green and dark blue instead of green and black. "How many explosives does he claim to have, and what does he want?"
"I'm Sgt. Anita Maxwell, Upperton PD," the officer replied. "I take it you've dealt with this nut before."
"He and Han are family," the teen called Nogo smirked.
"For the last time, Joey, we're not related by blood! I was adopted, remember?"
"Calm down, Miss Stoppable," Sgt. Maxwell said. "The perp said he has the whole building lined with something called a nano-molecular destabilization matrix, whatever that means, and that he'll blow the whole place to kingdom come if the Atlas Comics execs didn't rescind some cease and desist order they have against him."
Hana and Nogo gave each other a look. "He's bluffing," they said in unison.
"Jinx!" Nogo declared. "You owe me a soda."
"Awwwww," Hana grumbled. "I never win those."
"Maybe one day you will. But right now we have a family reunion to attend."
"You're lucky you're cute, Lipsky," the irritated young woman said, "otherwise I'd have to go monkey style on you."
"Sounds kinky," Nogo smirked.
Hana planted her hands on her boyfriend's back and shoved him forward. "Will you just get moving?"
"Well well well," the man in black taunted. "Look who's here. It's little Hana and JoJo."
"Seriously, what kind of a name is Nogo?"
Joey Lipsky rubbed the bridge of his nose in irritation. "For the last time, it's what I told my Uncle Hego when he tried to give me a hero name."
"I like what your mom said better," Hana smirked.
"I'd get my mouth washed out with soap if I said that around her." A pair of green vines snaked out of the back of Nogo's hands. They were surrounded by glowing pulses of blue electricity. "Give it up, Stoppable. You've never beaten us before, and you won't do it now."
"My name is Zorpox!" the madman in black shrieked.
"No, 'Zorpox' is a comic book character," Hana said in a condescending voice, "and the nice folks at Atlas Comics want you to give back the suit and stop parading around as their property without permission. You got fired from their theme park like, six months ago, remember?"
"Like they have any right to complain," Zorpx taunted. "Sales of their stupid comic books went up by thirty percent after my last crime spree. Besides, I used to bring down the house in the Parade of Villains! They owe me! And this is my suit; I made it myself. The police took my old one away from me the last time I was arrested!"
Hana ran up the near wall and leapt from it, executing a perfect triple summersault in midair and landing a kick to the side of Zorpox's head before she landed, knocking his helmet off and revealing a mop of messy red hair. The man in black staggered backwards and rubbed his now aching temple.
"That wasn't very nice, Hana," he said in a voice laced with malice. "You've always stood in my way. You've always stopped me from attaining my goals. Even when you were a baby you denied me my victory!"
"This again?" Hana glared at the closest thing she had to an arch foe. "My brother's wedding was fourteen years ago, Shawn! I was two years old! Do you really think I remember what happened back then?"
"It matters not!" Shawn Stoppable screeched. "First you beat me up and no one believed me because there was no way itty bitty little Hana could beat up big bad Shawnie, and then you stopped me from beaning cousin Ron with my slingshot! It would've been glorious. Glorious I tell you! Ha ha! Ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaaa!"
"Look, chuckles," a voice from behind Shawn said. "You were trying to ruin Aunt Kim and Uncle Ron's wedding reception. Don't you think you're being a little, I don't know, immature about this?" Before Shawn could react, a pair of vines wrapped around him and delivered a jolt of electricity. Nothing happened.
"Not this time, Joseph Theodore," Shawn gloated. "I learned a little something from our last rodeo. My uniform is now fully insulated against electrical attacks. Your little shock vines are useless against me! You should be joining with me, you know. Your parents were Dr. Drakken and Shego before they wimped out. We should work together! I mean, my worthless cousin did briefly work with your mom when he wore this costume, so it's kind of a family tradition."
Nogo's vines tightened around Shawn, making it harder for him to breathe. "First of all, Aunt Kim was right about the middle name being overkill. Secondly, I really don't like it when people badmouth my godfather. And for the record, when Uncle Ron wore that getup the first time, it was for an undercover mission. After that it was because he and my dad got their brains scrambled."
"Your parents are a true waste of evil potential, Joseph. And so are you." Shawn hit a button on his belt buckle, causing his body to be enveloped by a crackling orange energy field.
"What are you doing?!" Nogo yelled, suddenly enveloped by the same energy field and unable to move.
"Like I said, JoJo, I learned some new tricks," Shawn taunted. "Your vines are conductors for your own bio-electrical field. It was so easy to attune my paralysis field to that same energy frequency." Shawn caught movement out of the corner of his eye. "Not another step, Hana, or I up the power on the paralysis field and cease your darling Joseph's cardiovascular functions!"
"What do you want, Shawn?" Hana was in a low crouch, ready to unleash her power at a moment's notice. Her control of the Mystical Monkey Power was different from her brother's; whereas Ron was the Monkey Master and could control the power on a conscious level, Hana tapped into it more on instinct. It was that instinct that was now taking over, telling Han to reach out with MMP and search for that one spark that she could see even in an ocean of flames. Brother, she said through the power. Little sister in danger over here. I could sure use a hand.
"What do I want?" Shawn repeated. "First of all I want those idiots at Atlas Comics to get off my case! Then I want you to admit to my mother that you really did beat the snot out of me before cousin Ron's wedding! In fact, you will admit to the world that you beat me up before cousin Ron's wedding! After that, I want Kim Possible to stop coming after me!"
"You do realize that her name is Kim Stoppable, right?" I have to keep stalling him. Come on, Bro, don't let me down.
"She's not family! If she was family she'd let me get away with my schemes like my mom always did!"
"Uh, Hana," Nogo said, still unable to move. "As much as I like good hero/villain banter, could you maybe hurry this up a little? My nose itches and I'd really like to be able to move again so I can scratch it."
Hana gave her guy a wink, telling him she had an idea. She just hoped it was a good one. "There's a distinct flaw in that plan, Shawn. You would be admitting to the world that you got beat up by a two year old girl when you were ten. Do you have any idea what that'll do to your villain cred?"
"My villain cred?"
Nogo was catching on. "Yeah, man. That's one of the reasons my old man called it quits. No one would take him seriously as a villain after he helped save the world."
"I never thought of that. But then again, you do have those freaky powers, and being beaten up by someone with freaky powers, even a little girl with freaky powers, wouldn't be that bad, would it?" Shawn was so deep in thought that he never noticed a tiny pink blob climb up his leg and hit the controls for the paralysis field on his belt buckle. No, he only noticed something was amiss when Nogo's vines started constricting him again.
"What's going on? How did you get free?"
"Trade secret," Nogo deadpanned. I have no idea. He continued to tighten his vines' grips on Shawn Stoppable.
"What are you doing, JoJo?" Shawn rasped. "You can't shock me."
"No, but I can keep you from moving," Nogo said. The look on his face was reminiscent of his mother when she was about to point out why one of his dad's take over the world schemes was destined to fail. "There was another flaw with your plan, you know; in order to keep me paralyzed, you had to have my vines touching you. Big mistake." Nogo looked over at Hana. "Feel like doing the honors, babe?"
"Gladly." Hana cocked her fist back and let fly a mighty punch, only to stop right before contact, a move her big sister-in-law had once used on a wannabe villain called Bengal. She then applied precise pressure to a nerve cluster in Shawn's neck, knocking him out cold. "You're so lucky my 'rents are trying to be nicer to your mom, or I'd clean your clock but good." Hana visibly shuddered at the thought of her Aunt Gail.
Nogo's vines gently placed the unconscious form of Shawn Stoppable on the catwalk and retracted. "Like I said before, he's your family."
"And like I said before, we're not related by blood!"
"Sorry, Hana, but you can't pick and choose. Otherwise I'd disown Uncle Herman and cousin Ed." Nogo saw a dark pink blob run towards Hana. "What the heck is that thing?"
Hana crouched down and picked up the small hairless critter. "It's a baby naked mole rat. Where did you come from?"
"She came with me," a voice from the far end of the catwalk said. "And she helped kick bad major bad guy butt!"
"Bro!" Hana ran to Ron Stoppable and hugged him with all her might.
"Air's becoming an issue, Han."
"Sorry," Hana said as she let go. The little mole rat scurried onto Hana's shoulder. "I think she likes me. What's her name?"
"Roxy," the little mole rat squeaked.
"Hana, I'd like you to meet Roxy." Ron declared. "She's one of Randi's pups."
"So she's Rufus' granddaughter," Hana said, a little sadly. It had been almost as hard on Hana when Rufus died of old age as it had been on her brother.
"Yeah." Ron was getting choked up, as well. He always did when he thought about his little buddy. "And I would hope she likes you. I mean, she's yours, after all."
"Mine?" Having grown up around Rufus, and later his offspring, Hana was more than used to naked mole rats. She looked over at Roxy, who was happily sitting on her shoulder. "I really get to keep you?"
"KP and I thought it was high time you had a naked mole rat of your very own. And don't worry, Mom and Dad are cool with it."
"Booyah!" Hana shouted. "You're the best, Bro."
"I still say those things are freaky," Nogo said. He had finished tying Shawn up for the authorities. "Thanks for the save, Uncle Ron. Not that I'm complaining, but how did you know we were in that deep?"
"Hana called for help and I came running." Ron gave them his classic lopsided grin. "You're just lucky that Wade had a ride lined up, just in case."
Nogo scratched his head for moment. "This is one of those monkey power things I won't understand, isn't it?"
"Pretty much," Han replied. She looked over at her adopted cousin. "Not how I expected to spend my first day of summer vacation."
"You're the one who wanted to be in Team Possible," Nogo pointed out. "It's all part of the territory."
"True that, Joey," Ron said to his godson. "Now how's about we all hit the Pit Stop? Lunch is on me today."
"Uh, Bro, you own the place. Lunch is always on you."
"Which is probably why we always go there," Nogo joked. "Well, that and because you have the best enchiladas in the whole Tri-City area."
Shawn Stoppable was sitting on the floor of his jail cell; a straightjacket keeping him from moving around too much. Before him stood Kimberly Anne Stoppable, a former prosecutor for the Tri-County District Attorney's Office, and now a legal liaison between Global Justice and local law enforcement. She looked sadly at the immobilzed form of her husband's cousin. Even when you see it coming, it still hurts.
"What do you want, Kim Possible?" Shawn spat.
"Just to make sure you're okay, Shawn," Kim quietly replied. "Do you need anything?" She may never have been close to him, but Kim wanted what was best for him.
"Only for you and your damn family to leave me the hell alone!"
"Are you here to gloat, Kimberly?" a shrill voice from across the hall said.
"No, Gail." Kim took a deep breath before she faced Ron's aunt. "Like I told Shawn, I was just checking to see if he needed anything."
"Yeah right," Gail Stoppable huffed. "You could just never leave him alone. My Shawnie is a good boy!"
"Gail, come with me please." Kim led Gail to a private room away from the jail cells. "Just so you know, I will have no part in his case whatsoever. I can't. It would be a conflict of interests since my team brought him in, and because he's family. But I can give you some advice. He needs help, Gail. You need to stop seeing this as some plot against him and look at the evidence. Let him get the help he needs this time or he'll just keep coming back here. It's up to you." With that, Kim left. The ball was in Gail's court now, whether Kim liked it or not.
For Kim Stoppable, home was sometimes a much needed refuge from the world at large. Her husband, their two children, and the myriad of naked mole rats running around always seemed to brighten even the darkest of days. Except for tonight, anyway. Kim was sitting up in her bed reading a book, trying to get her mind off seeing Shawn in that cell. It wasn't working out very well.
"You okay, KP?" a voice from her right asked.
"Because you've been staring at the same page for the last twenty minutes."
Kim looked down at her book and sighed. "Okay, I've been spacing."
"Big time. Let me guess, Aunt Gail read you the riot act."
"I didn't give her the chance, Ron." Kim marked her page and set the book down. "I guess I was just thinking. I mean, what makes a kid go bad like that in the first place?"
"Uh, he's evil," Ron said in a matter of fact tone. "And his mom let him get away with murder." Ron sat up hugged his wife. "If you're worried about RJ and Dawn going down that five hundred miles of bad road, don't be. We have the two most badical kids in the whole world." That got the desired chuckle from Kim. Ron pulled away and looked Kim in the eyes. "We did good, Kimbo. Besides, I think we've set a good example."
"So true," Kim conceded. "But I'm their mother, Ron. I worry."
"Sha, you're a bondigetty world saving bad guy biscuit kicking mom! I bet the kids are afraid of you taking them down if they go super villain!" That got another laugh from Kim. "Seriously though, KP, all we can do is the best we can. And that's what we've been doing."
"When did you get so insightful?" Kim asked with a warm smile.
"Hey, I am what I is."
"And what you is is the best husband and father in the world." Kim put her book on the nightstand, turned off the lamp, and turned on their bedroom's sonic dampeners. "I've had a bad day. I think I need some extra special Ron-shine to cheer me up."
"Booyah," Ron replied in a low voice. Kim's frustrations were soon forgotten.
Hana Stoppable, wearing a knee length Fearless Ferret nightshirt, crouched in front of her nightstand. She was tucking her new friend into the little nest she had made. "Good night, Roxy," Hana said softly.
"Night night," the baby mole rat sleepily replied.
When Hana stood up, she saw her mother standing in the doorway. "I never thought I'd say this," Dana Stoppable said, "but I've missed having one of those around." Dana came over and looked at the slumbering naked mole rat. "She reminds me a lot of Rufus when he was that age. Hopefully Roxy will be as good a friend to you as Rufus was to your brother."
"She's got a lot of her grandpa in her, Mom," Hana said. "I think she'll be just fine." Hana smiled at her little Roxy. It was summer vacation, and she had a naked mole rat to raise. For Hana Stoppable, life was good.