Don't own 'em, never will, just have some fun.

It's been a while, and after losing four loved ones this year, I haven't felt like laughing in a long time. But sometimes, just sometimes, certain things just strike me as funny. Thought I'd share.

By Starsky's Strut

Starsky slammed his hand down hard on the Torino's steering wheel. "I'm an adult. I can say anything I [censored] want to."

Hutch thought about it for a long moment and shook his head. "No, you can't."

"I sure as [censored] can." Starsky shot a dark look at his partner. "[CENSORED]!" He shouted and then grinned smugly. "See? I just said [censored]. And nothing happened."

Light blue eyes rolled upwards and Hutch took a deep breath. "I hate to tell ya this Starsk, but no, you can't say anything you want to. Well, you can, but the censores will remove it."

"You mean to tell me I can't say [censored]? I don't understand. I just said [censored]."

Hutch nodded. "You may have said [censored], but all I heard was a beep."

"A beep?" Starsky tilted his head back and raised an eyebrow. "Hutchinson, you're so full of [censored], your eyes are brown. Okay, they're still blue right now, but you keep trying to feed me that line of bull[censored] and you're gonna get so full of [censored] that they'll be turning brown any minute now."

"[Censored] you."

Starsky blinked rapidly. "What did you just say?"

"[Censored] you." The taller partner repeated as a sly smile slid into place.

Dark blue eyes popped wide in shock. "You beeped! Twice!"

"See? I told you. You can't say anything you want. Well, you can, but they'll beep it out."

"They? Whose they?"

Hutch cuffed his friend lightly up side the head. "The censores, dummy."

"Censores? What the [censored] do censores have to do with it?"


"Primetime?" Starsky repeated, a puzzled note in his voice.

"Yeah, geez don't you know anything? We're on primetime. There are certain things that can't be said on primetime." Hutch leaned back in the bucket seat of the Torino, shaking his head in wonder at his friend's apparent lack of common knowledge.

"Certain things can't be said on primetime… like what?"

"First, you can't ever say [censored] or [censored], [censored], [censored] oh and I can't forget [censored] muffin."

Starsky's jaw dropped. "Wow! That was a lot of beeps. And I've never heard of [censored] muffin."

"Well that doesn't [censored] surprise me."

"Shut the [censored] up! Hutchinson." Starsky's brows knitted together for a moment. "What would happen if I were to do this-" He reached down and unzipped his pants and pulled out his [censured]. He yelped as a black box instantly appeared, covering him from his waist to almost his knees. "Huuuutch! Get it away from me!" He squirmed and gyrated wildly in his seat, the black box following his every move. "Oh God [censored] make it [censored] stop! It's gonna ruin my [censored] love life!"

"What love life?" Hutch snickered, and then added calmly. "Just pull up you zipper."

Starsky did so and the black box disappeared. "Whew! I was pretty worried there for a minute. Hey! Wait a second… what's gonna happen when I bring a fine piece of tail home and we want to get down and uhh… dirty?" He carefully censored himself as his face went ashen. He gasped, "It's not gonna come back, is it?"

"Only when you're on primetime. When you're on your own time, you'll be just fine." Hutch assured his shaken partner, patting him gently on his shoulder.

Starsky sat still for a bit, obviously in deep thought. Soon a Cheshire grin brightened the Torino's interior. He elbowed his partner. "Hey Hutch."

A blond brow inched upwards. "Hey what?"

"Did you get a look at the size of that black box those [censored] censores put over my [censored]?"

"Starsky! You're such a [censored], with a one [censored] track mind!"

The [censured] End