disclaimer: I own nothing. Characters belong to JKRowling and whoever came up with Naruto.

A/N: This is a crossover with Naruto. I don't know that it's strictly necessary to know the anime to read/understand but it would certainly help.
I wrote this after reading too many HP and Naruto fics one after the other. Voldemort and Orochimaru are scarily similar.


Harry's eyes narrowed. He should have known better than to trust the twins. If the idea of a vacation where no one would recognize him and he would not have to use glamours and charms had not been so appealing, he knew he would have questioned the twins more. Of course, they hadn't exactly given him the chance. A week after complaining that even the muggle world no longer guaranteed anonymity due to the influx of returning muggleborns and squibs, the twins ambushed him, poured a potion down his throat to help him "communicate", packed his belongings with dizzying speed and shoved him through a portal all the while keeping up a constant stream of twin-speak.

How exactly he was supposed to relax and unwind, which had been a major theme of their babble, when they had sent him to another red-eyed, pale-arsed, snake-obsessed, power-hungry bastard? It was like facing a Voldemort with hair.

Harry hissed menacingly at the giant snake the man was riding. The snake looked as startled as a snake could get at the foul language and promises of death. With a hiss best translated to "eep!" the snake disappeared with a poof of smoke. Hm, that made the freaky snake-man mad. A manic, toothy grin spread across Harry's face. Maybe this man would like to meet a friend of Harry's; Voldemort had certainly found the meeting… educational.

With a quick flick of his wand in one hand and a grasping motion with his other, Harry summoned a giant, dumb-as-dirt, near-sighted mongoose. The mongoose, not seeing the snakey-man, chirruped scoldingly at Harry. When she finally stopped scolding him long enough to notice the man, she reacted just like she did to anything vaguely snake-like. Two quick snaps of the jaw and freaky snake-man was no more. As she left with a puff of smoke, Harry turned away. Now, how to find the twins and strangle them for not giving him a way to return home.