By xxfanpirexx

Cliché type: Bombs and Languages

POV: Third Person

Story type:All Human, Alternate Universe

"Mwah ha ha! Let's see you try to get your way out of this!"

Agent Edward Cullen and his hot French girlfriend, Bella, were trapped in Dr. Newton's secret lab. Dr. Newton was the friendly neighborhood mad scientist.

"No! I shall escape with my hot French girlfriend and we will survive!"

"How? You are tied to meat hooks hanging from the ceiling, and this bomb is set to go off in exactly one hour. You are trapped!"

"Er hat Recht! Wir werden eingeschlossen!"

"Never fear, my sweet Bella, we will escape!"

"Well...good luck with that. I'll see you...never! Mwah ha ha!"

Newton hit a button on his fancy remote control (simple black rectangle with a single, circular red button) that set off the big, blinking, beeping, red, LED timer on the bomb, helpfully letting them know when they were going to die.

"Stiamo andando morire! Stiamo andando morire! Stiamo andando morire! Stiamo andando morire! Stiamo andando morire! Stiamo andando morire! Stiamo andando morire!"

"Shut up! You're not helping!"

Bella swung back on her hook and kicked Edward in the chest.

"ÅAÉAÉÅÉäÉJçìï]ǵǻÇ≥Ç¢! í˜Ç‹ÇÈÇÊǧDžéÑÇ…åæǡǃÇÕÇ¢ÇØǻǢ!"

"Stop! We need to keep our cool. Now, let's find someway to get us down, so I can dismantle the bomb!"

"Goed geluk met dat."


Edward looked up at his hook. If only he could somehow pull the rope over the end...

Using his brute strength, he 'jumped', the rope coming off the hook. But he'd undershot, and stabbed through his hand with the meat hook.


His weight on his hand was enough to rip the hand clean off.

"Πάρτε το αίμα σε αυτούς τους φόρεμα και κύβο."

Edward began to crawl towards the bomb.

"Levante-se, você idiota! É sua mão que está sangrando, não seu pé!"

"Oh, right. Good point."

He stood up, and walked towards the bomb. Five minutes until detonation...

Edward looked at the bomb, where there lay the handily color coated wires.

"Blue wire defuses, red wire makes everything go boom."

"Нет! Вы околпачиваете! То ОН назад я говорит вас! ОН НАЗАД!"

"Will you shut up!"

"Gingen wij niet alleen over dit?"

"Good point. Again."

"Schneiden Sie einfach den verfluchten roten Draht bereits, also kann ich automatisch ansteuern."

"Okay, I will."

Edward reached out and cut the red wire. Bella screamed.

Nothing happened.

"Stop screaming!"

Edward looked at the bomb, that hadn't detonated.

"Whoa. Only one second before we would've died."

"Eso es grande. Precioso, incluso. ¿Pero puede usted CONSEGUIRME TRAGA?"

"Oh, yeah. Sorry."

Edward walked over to her, and cut her rope, with the pocket knife he had tucked behind his ear.


"Don't mention it."


Edward looked at her with a very confused expression.

"Can you even speak French? I've heard you speak Greek, Italian, Japanese, Dutch, German, Russian, and Portugese. But not French. Can you speak it?"

Bella looked at him, and slowly shook her head.


A/N You guys probably get all of the bomb references, but the languages ones are the fact that somehow, the protagonist can understand basically every language.