10 Ways to Annoy Emmett Cullen
Make fun of him for losing an arm-wrestling match with Bella.
Ask Him if his muscles are compensating for something.
Ask him if his Jeep is compensating for something.
Tell him you need to talk in private and give him a bottle of Viagra. Tell him that you heard from Rosalie that he was having some trouble "getting it up" and you thought this might help.
Follow him around and every time he tells a dirty joke to Bella/Edward say "EH, OH!" in a very loud voice.
Put a red shirt in with his white load of laundry. Tell him you think pink is definitely his coulour.
Tell Edward that last time he and Bella did it, Emmett was hiding in the closet with a video-camera.
Tell Emmett you think it's time he came out of the closet.
Put blonde dye in his shampoo.
Tell Jacob to get out his book of blonde jokes, and then let him in the house.