Jezuz sat on his bed of hey angrily lissenin to hiz blessed iPod playin im nawt okai i promise by MCR. Hiz fathuh da guud lawd didn't let him go to a panic at da disko concert jezuz asked to go wiff his band Jesus and the but gawd raped him and said no.
"Jezuz, where art theez?" o lawd, it waz hiz fathuh he stashed hiz iPod unduh hiz black sheetz wiff murlin manzon on it cuz god might raep him if he noo he hadz it. Jesus snuck out through da window and got on his black camal named sabyyth and road away.
jezuz stopped and took out a wattah bottle "jezuz what you doin?" a voice riddled wiff concern asked jezuz looked up to see his BFFL judas take the watah away cuz judas knoo hiz friend waz onli gonna turn into whiskey n drink himself to death agen n get resurrected and hiz dad would raep n ground him again.
Jezuz started to cry n dat maed hiz masscara n eyelinuh run down hiz cheekz judaz pulled hiz thin frame into an embrace n while judazwaz distracted n weeped wiff jezuz, jezuz quickly turned hiz tierz to pure liquid LSD and likked them while hiz frnd waznt lewkin aftuh 20 hitz of holy LSD tearz judaz tore away frum da embrace n tewk jezuz's skar n kutt riddled wrist in2 hiz own handz "whi kant u see what you're doin to thouzself?" judas asked he looked into jezuz'z emmeraled eyez dat reminded him of emmeraledz nd were brawt out by da eye linuh jezuz alwayz adorned jesus noticed judasz gaze and flipped hiz side fringe dat had bloo dyed koolaid streakz in it blushed and looked away he waz wearin cltohez frum hawt tawpik
"hey jezuz? judas said "yah?" said jezuz "i waz thinkin... you're golf n hawt n sxc... im golf n hawt n sexc i gaWTn idea
"wat?" asked jezuz "whi dun we go out?
"okay" said jezuz "letz go to your stable and lissen to hawthorn heightz so we can kri n maek our tearz lube so we can sex"
N hiz stable lissnenin to da mooziks dat waz REAL golfz moozik like MCR and murlin manson not preppy poser sh*t liek Bauhauz n Siouxise sioux. Jezuz saw dat Judaz waz REALLY bigz he had a bonuh dat waz almozt as big as Jesus'z jew nozeh den when judaz penetratedz jezuz jezuz moaned n exlaxy dey "oh gawd, oh gawd" jezuz "jezuz datz too kreepy" said judaz. "oh sarree" "OH JEUZUZ" judaz yelled az he finished den rolled off "hey ab gonna maek a sammich frum da kitchen cuz ab hungreE" he said "i want one too" said jezuz "darez only enuff for one" said judaz jezuz smiled at him and turned da sammich into 2 dei smiled at each ovah dei waz in luv