A/N: This was inspired by a book's bibliography on an author. I wrote Naruto's biography in sort of the same way.

Parings: NaruSasu

Warnings: Shounen ai. And one word…(maybe twoish)

Disclaimer: Rewind. Replay. Repeat spends his/her (we need more neutral pronouns in the English language) writing fanfics (and various other things). In between all that he/she likes to contemplate that fact that she/he DOES NOT OWN NARUTO :) .

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Being the Boyfriend of a Writer

Uzumaki Naruto spends his time watching TV, eating ramen, forgetting his deadline, watching movies, reading manga, forgetting his deadline, playing ninja games on his computer, watching anime, forgetting his deadline and writing awesomenessly ('I don't care is it's not a word Sakura, I'm putting it in') funny books. In between all that he likes to talk, date, glomp, kiss, make out and sleep with his adorable bastard of a boyfriend, the one and only Uchiha Sasuke.

"Mommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmy. I want to go home!" sobbed a little boy to his mother.

"Why sweetie?" asked the boy's mother turning away from the books in the…wait for it…bookstore! (It's not a library!!! HA! We're not all cheapskates here.)

"That big boy going to kill me," replied the boy while he pointed to a tall black haired man quite near them who was clutching a book with a little too much force.

This man was sending off vibes which said, "Someone's going to die. Someone's going to die. I want see blooooooooood."

The mother decided to not ignore his son's warning and quickly left the shop.

The said man they were scare- (uh, I mean) discussing was currently very angry at his boyfriend.

Uchiha Sasuke was not normally angry ({-- sarcasm inserted here) at his boyfriend. He's an usually patient (more sarcasm) person but today he was well into the mood to shoot someone (no sarcasm need here, brutal honesty works well enough).

His boyfriend (Uzumaki Naruto, famous adventure, comedy author who last year won - huh, what? Put the gun away…) had agreed to not mention Sasuke in any of his works or interviews. Naruto seemed to have instead mentioned Sasuke in his semi biography included in his new novel.

'Damn, Naruto. I can't believe he found a loophole,' thought Sasuke stomping out of the store still clutching the book. The teen working there thought wisely that he rather be lectured by his boss than to ask Sasuke to pay for that book.

'…awesomenessly funny books…' Sasuke unconsciously let out a small dark chuckle at that. The lady walking beside him immediately ran into the closest shop.

'…glomp, kiss, make out, sleep…' Dark evil vibes being sent now. I think I saw a guy in a suit wet his pants.

'…adorable bastard of a boyfriend named Uchiha Sasuke…' I wonder if you can be sued for causing suicide just by walking. Because seriously I think I just saw someone jump in front of a car to avoid Sasuke.

Sasuke continued to cause accidents as he walked all the way to his apartment.


And now we go to…

"Hey Naruto, do you want to stay over my place tonight?" asked Sai to his blonde friend.

"No thanks. Why do ask? Don't I usually stay over on Thursdays?" questioned Naruto.

"I just have a bad feeling I won't be seeing you in a while…in good health," replied Sai. 'I think I might be visiting you hospital soon actually, to tell you the truth.'

"You and your funny feelings. I'll be fine. I'm going home, okay. Seeya."

"Yeah. Bye. Don't say I didn't warn you."


And now we forward to…

"Naruto!" Here we have a mad Sasuke waiting at the door of the apparent.

'Shit. Why don't I listen to Sai more often.' Here we have a scared Naruto regretting he locked the door behind him.

"What the hell is this!?" While Sasuke said this he held up Naruto's book. I think the book had seen better days. It looked damaged, worn and had gripe indents along the side. Upon closer inspection you should be able to see what appeared to be markings made by a knife that repeatedly stabbed on it over and over again.

"Uh, a book."

"Of course, Sherlock. Who's book is it?"


"…and what does it have on it that shouldn't be there?"


"My name! I thought we agreed not to mention me anywhere on your works."


"I don't care what you say! Your excuses mean nothing. MY reputation might not go down the drain because of how popular my books and reviews are but I don't really want to face the embarrassment of my colleagues' comments and meaningful glances. So I have decided to stay over at my Negi's if I forgive you. If not when…"

"Negi won't have you." Naruto just earned himself a massive glare.

'Oops wrong thing to say. Right now your meant to ask for forgiveness not tell him all his options for staying over some else's house are not available, idiot.'

"Then Shino's," Sasuke retorted childishly.

"Shino at a weekend family reunion," reported the blonde and then thought, 'Stop talking now and you won't die.'


"Gaara's the reason Negi won't have you." 'Too late…'

'I not going to think about that…' thought Sasuke.


"Shikamaru's staying with Temari until his apparent building finishes renovating."


"Kiba has dogs. You don't like dogs."

"Fine! Chouji."

"Not enough room at his place for you,"

"Kakashi." said Sasuke. 'Ha, ha! I have him.'

"One word: Iruka. Don't go there. Been there done that. Trust me with this."

"Hinata?" 'I'm getting desperate.'

"Negi won't let you even if you're gay."


"…Is staying with her parents."

"Ino?" 'Do I really want that option accessible?'

"Ino and Sakura stalking some famous guy over in Australia."


"I'm not going to dignify that with an answer."

'Hmmmmm. Who's left…'



"…" 'Damn him. He knows I won't stay over Sai's place no matter what…Wait I have it!'


"No…you wouldn't…"

"Why not?" 'I know why. I'm just messing with you. Kukukukukukuku. Take that! Stab! Stab!'

"You, you…"

"That settles it! Lee's place it is."

"You do know evil-green-spandex-youth-spring-time-monster-guy is there 24/7."


"You do know what that means, right?"

"I don't care. I'm out of here. If Lee's me only option I'm going with it."


With kind of a shocked silence Naruto watched his boyfriend pack up all his necessaries in a small bag. The blonde didn't snap out of his trance until he realised Sasuke was actually leaving the apartment.

"Wait!" Naruto ran to Sasuke as he was opening the door, and wrapped his arms around him from behind. (No more romance novels for me)

"Let go of me, Naruto! When I'm mad I want to stay mad. But when you start to do this…" Sasuke stopped talking as Naruto began kissing his neck and caressing his fingers underneath the raven's shirt and over his stomach.

"Hmmm. Do what, Sasuke?" Naruto whispered in his ear.

"When you t-take advantage over me like t-this…" Sasuke voice started to hitch as his boyfriend began to make hickeys on his neck. 'I sound pathetic…'

"You don't really want to go Sasuke? Do you?" Sasuke managed to catch himself before he started to shake his head.

"Come back inside…" Naruto slowly started coaxing back inside. Sasuke slowly shuffled back all while with Naruto placing kisses all over him.

It wasn't until Sasuke ended up on top of the bed was when he realised what was happening.

"No dammit!" With that Sasuke managed to drag himself away from Naruto.

'Stay 3 feet away. That's it. You're still good. This won't be like last time…'

Sasuke looked up to see Naruto…

'Bad idea. Eyes away from the chest. Keep your eyes in his forehead. No wandering.'

'Kay let's take do a damage report:

Shirt off
Belt off
Top button of pants off

- Shirt on (but extremely rumpled)
Belt on (just)
Pants on (just)'

'Hmmmm. We're still in this! We haven't submitted yet.'

"I'm not having sex with you. I'm still angry."

"Are you sure about that?" asked Naruto as he crept closer to Sasuke. Sasuke unconsciously shuffled back a few steps closer to the door.

"Y-yes. Yes! I don't freaking want every person I see to be asking if I'm top or bottom. You're famous. I'm famous. You're a writer. I'm a write-slash-reviewer. You should know better than to…"

"Do you want to why I did it? It's because we are famous. I don't want to see people eyeing you up and down thinking I'm only a friend. I don't want to see people hit on you. Even though you reject them it still make me mad. I want everyone to know that Uchiha Sasuke's ass is mine!"

"Possessive idiot! What the hell kind of reasoning is tha-"

"I don't care! You're mine and not anyone else's!"

By now both Naruto and Sasuke were red in the face and out of breath from yelling. Sasuke was actually more red because he was blushing at Naruto's words rather than he was angry. Naruto had said something extremely sweet even though the terms he used were very vulgar.


"And another thing…What? Fine?"

"I said fine, okay! I'm not going to Lee's."

"Really? Yes!" Naruto suddenly kissed Sasuke. Sasuke who was caught by surprise, blushed…again. "YAY! Sasuke staying! Sasuke staying!"

"I'm still angry at you, you know!"

"Yeah, but you're staying. You're staying!"

Sasuke had let out a drained out sigh at Naruto's singing and dancing.

'I'll never win to a guy like this…'


Let us fast forward to Naruto's next book release…

Uzumaki Naruto spends his time talking to Sasuke, fighting with Sasuke, forgetting his deadline, dating Sasuke, glomping Sasuke, forgetting his deadline, making out with Sasuke and…forgetting his deadline. In between all that he likes to make his boyfriend's ass very sore.

"Do you think I over did it Sakura?"



"Want to stay over my place?"

"You give me confidence Sakura, you really do."


Sasuke once again is clutching a particular book in a particular bookstore which was considering never again to sell Uzumaki books.