These characters are borrowed from S. Meyer and her Twilight series, turned around and whacked into to AH. Will return tip-top, when done. Thanks.

Summary: Ever since she can remember, Bella Swan has spent Christmas with the Cullens. Ever since she can remember Christmas has been full of strange Edward related complications that remain unresolved year after year. Last Christmas it seemed like their strange affair had finally ended. Bella is keen to resolve her "relationship" and move on with life. But will her feelings remain the same, especially after she finds out that Edward has a new introduction to make?

AN: My Christmas story which ran amok...

Title: Christmas With the Cullens

Author: BlueIsSoul

Rating: Mature


Bella Swan

As far back as I can remember, I have always spent Christmas with the Cullens.

As far back as I can remember, it's always been a complex affair.

My mother passed away when I was three months old. So I spent my first Christmas at the Cullens being the only thing that kept Charlie going, during what quite possibly was, the worst time of his life. A time that was a hugely consequential in my life, yet one that I wasn't part of at all.

During my second Christmas with the Cullens, I said my first words. Esme often fondly recalls how I pointed at Carlisle and cried "Fanta Claws".

During my third Christmas with the Cullens I caught chicken pox from Alice, and spent most of it in a coma like state.

I refused to put any clothes on during my fourth Christmas with the Cullens. Emmett swears he knew from that very moment that I was going to grow into an "inappropriate chick".

I hate to admit when he's right.

I was mesmerized during my fifth Christmas. Edward and I spent it in front of the TV, each second, falling more and more in love with a singing purple dinosaur.

Maybe it was our love for Barney that united us, but that's when my love affair with Edward Cullen, the youngest and most frustrating Cullen boy to ever exist, began.

For many years after that, we were inseparable.

During my sixth Christmas, Edward and I insisted on wearing a matching ensemble. This consisted of a red woolly jumper – courtesy of Grandma Cullen and pea green tights – courtesy of Target. We spent most of it alternating between Charlie and Carlisle's laps, kissing their cheeks, and refusing to be called anything but Rudolph. Emmett still emails the "spot the miniscule Cullen" photo to everybody on Edwards contact list, the night before his birthday each year.

My seventh Christmas was hard. I spent it alternating between outrageous hissy fits, and quiet sobs because Charlie's job meant that he had to work abroad, and I had to go away from Forks to boarding school in Arizona.

During my eighth Christmas with the Cullens, I secretly drank from Carlisle's wine glass and then threw up on Edwards shoes. Edward was so mad that we didn't talk for a whole year.

During my ninth Christmas with the Cullens, I bought Edward a pair of shoes so he would talk to me.

During my tenth Christmas with the Cullens, Edward and I went for a walk. We got lost, and were found sleeping, frozen and clinging to one another on a park bench the next morning.

I spent most of my eleventh Christmas laughing at Edward's dishevelled/ spiky/ strangely sexy and alluring new hair-do.

I never knew that hair was even capable of eliciting such tingly feelings.

It was during my twelfth Christmas with the Cullens when things got really complicated.

Alice and Emmett were seeking, Edward and I were hiding. Closet claustrophobia turned into shy curiosity and silent exploration. Edwards mouth was the softest, most delightful thing I had ever tasted. A kind of heady elixir that quenched my thirst, but never sated me enough.

It was during my thirteenth Christmas with the Cullens that I flashed my (barely there) boobs at Edward.

I spent most of the fourteenth Christmas ignoring Edward due to my continued embarrassment from the year before.

During my fifteenth Christmas with the Cullens, Edward told me he loved me. And then he took it back again.

It was our sixteenth Christmas together, when it finally happened. Our foreplay got out of hand, and Edward and I did the deed. Except I forgot to tell him something kind of big, and he got mad at me. And then I almost punched him, so Edward yelled at me. Then I got drunk, and Edward sulked.

Most of the seventeenth Christmas was both spent ignoring/glaring/jibing at each other. When Emmett proposed to Rosalie, I forgot how mad I was at Edward… but then I spilt wine over him, and it started again.

Last year, the eighteenth, was perhaps our most sane, and least complicated Christmas to date. Edward and I said hello, and we were polite. We played Christmas games, and we were polite. We told Christmas stories next to the fire like we did every year, and we were polite. We had Christmas dinner… yet again, we were polite. We said our goodbyes like acquaintances who had barely known… or were quickly forgetting.

As I get closer to the Cullens Christmas cottage, I can't help but wonder if the end of our complex relationship means thd end of a love affair that never really blossomed.

Christmas with the Cullens were the best and worst moments of my life.

I take a deep breath. "Here I come, number nineteen."