Okay, seriously, I just needed some therapeutic writing to soothe and stoke my denial. Indulge with me.


Deedee the untrained thespian was actually a concert pianist. It's what she was "aspired to" as Wilson would say, and House genuinely believed that with a couple more years of work she might even break into the business. For the time being she was mostly doing small-scale gigs, but such things were always peppered with a fair number of interactions and distractions – training in concentration and persuasion that made her perfect for the job.

He had met Deedee at a quiet business affair that Cuddy's younger sister had dragged him to. It was a music thingy that Alice had roped him into, needing permission of a guardian in the deal since she was still a minor. Turned out that Alice's band had finally snagged a keyboardist who was more competent than she was, meaning that she could finally drop back to bass, something that she was actually good at. After the whole stupid affair finally ended, he went out to dinner with the band and spent the whole evening talking to Deedee. How she hid the tattoos and piercing during recitals, her work to go pro, their shared love of dicking people around.

Cuddy may have been a slightly overwhelming distraction recently, but if Kutner honestly didn't think that he didn't spend enough time dicking around on the internet to find a site falsely in his own name, then the man was stupider than he thought. He had had to get her number from Alice once he found out about the website and subsequently came up with his plan, but he remembered how straight up unpredictable she looked and how much she loved fucking with people. They laughed at the assumptions that people would make and set up her salary with those very assuptions in mind.

With three hours to go in her contract he took her home for the best duet that his poor neglected piano had ever been treated to.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

It was only the following day when she didn't speak a word to him or even look at him that he realised that Cuddy had made the same assumptions as everyone else.


I had nothing, and I repeat, nothing to do with the name Deedee, I had to look it up on imdb.