Here is a one-shot … See how it goes … Be brutal if you must … Really rusty lol.

Chris and Jeff again ... Do you think i should do Jeff/Randy Jeff/Adam??? am thinking about it .. just tell me your view on review :)

On with it ….


JEFF'S POV

It was you
That showed me who I am
And taught me how to stand
For what I know is real

I was sick of all the pain
Tired of all the shame that I felt
But you showed me a way
To never have a doubt
And always to believe in myself
Now I see

Yup, I was pretty much on the downwards spiral again. It happens every so often. I find one bad thing pick at it so much to the point that it consumes me and my life around it and I fall into this black hole.

It's scary.

When I was a teenager it always happened. It was everything. My music wasn't great so I focused so much on it, that I gave up interaction with people and concentrated on music. Same went for my art; if I'm not happy with it … I can be there for days obsessing with it.

When I got older … My release with the WWE back in 2003 that was my freedom. I had none. From going home, to working I had no choice to make which was mine and I needed a way out…

…Not the smartest way to go about it but I consumed myself in drugs. It gave me my freedom and that is what consumed me … Getting that freedom … Therefore the drugs consumed me.

…I had a few people beside me. When I was a teenager it was Matt mostly, Shannon and the rest of the OMEGA guys. They all stood by me. They never saw how bad it got though. No one did. I just kept it to myself and let it eat at me. The littlest of things like my music … My art or bigger things like my weight or my in ring ability. Or just the way I am in general.

Chris … He has been here for me as a friend and more. In 2003 we worked together a lot, got to know each other and built up a friendship, by the time I got fired and closed myself off from the world to live in my own mind filled with drugs and alcohol we had slept with each other a few times. That really didn't make things better. I knew I had some form of emotion towards him.

He came back … When I left he came to Cameron.

"Get the fuck outta bed now!"

"…What?"

"Get your high ass outta bed now!"

"Chris how the hell did you get into my house?"

"That don't matter … Get up …"

"Why?"

"You are wasting your life … Now get the hell up"

Jeff looks out from under the covers to take a glance at the Canadian blonde. The Canadian native just smiled back and pulled the blanket a little more off his face.

"Not so bad when you think of it?"

"Shut it Irvine"

"Make me"

"Why the hell are you here?"

"You need me"

"How do you figure that one?"

"Call it a hunch"

And that was it …

A start to an amazing friendship that moved into an amazing relationship.


It was you
That showed me who I am
And taught me how to stand
For what I know is real

Now I'm breathing for the first time
And I'm leaving, all this behind
I've become, what I am because of you
It was you

He dragged me through everything. Never letting me quit and got me up from the hole a dug for myself. He gave me a freedom without drugs and he gave me care and friendship without a catch, like a lot of the people I knew wouldn't do that.

He pulled me through and never gave me time to breathe. He would pull me out of bed. Make me sit through withdrawals without pain pills. He made me go see a doctor for my weight. He never gave up on me.

I'm so sorry 'bout the ways
But I can't take away my past
But you love me anyway
And now I wanna do
Everything for you that I can
Even though it won't erase

By the time Chris left the WWE he needed some help. He was burnt out and I was there for him. I travelled to Florida a lot and we just spoke a lot too. We both had different things going on … But we still had time for each other … Just not enough to call a relationship.

In 2006 I was back in WWE and Chris was just ready to come back. Again I had another relapse … It gets harder when he's not around. Matt, Mark and everyone else does help … A lot … But sometimes I just need him and only him.


The foolish things that I've done
Things that blinded me
But now I see

It was you
That showed me who I am
And taught me how to stand
For what I know is real

Now I'm breathing for the first time
And I'm leaving, all this behind
And I'll stand
For what I know is real

My last warning is up. One more strike and I lose my job. To be fair … I have lost my house … Everything … So my job wouldn't be too bad. Chris would kill me if he heard me. I will always think like this though. He was angry. It's the first time he has ever said get yourself to rehab.

When he found out he screamed so much.

…More than Matt. Which never happens.

He said I should get to rehab and sort my fucking life out, that if I keep going down the road that I am. I will end up dead with no one caring … Serious at point I do wonder if Chris has any remorse for what he says. But in the end I know that it's best for me to hear these things. Matt will scream. Mark will scream … Everyone will scream and try to tell me what to do. Chris on the other hand works with me and then I slowly find my way back up.

So how can I make this up to you
I'll fight and I'll push and I'll strive
Now that I'm living my life for you
I'll fight and I'll push and I'll strive
Can't you see?

I know I am going to have to work my ass off even to get his friendship back. We haven't been together for a good few years now, but we still know it's there, dating other people and what not sleeping around, but no one else well in my case no one else crosses my mind for a relationship bar Chris. It's going to suck. It's going to hurt and I am going to be in more pain than I have ever been before in my life, but I really don't care as long as I can see Chris at the end of it, him smiling at me, him proud and him been able to say he is my best friend and I love him. That's what I want …

It was you
That showed me who I am
And taught me how to stand
For what I know is real

Now I'm breathing for the first time
And I'm leaving, all this behind
I've become, what I am because of you
It was you

I can see the writing on the wall
As time begins to crawl away from me
And I've become what I am
Because of you
It was you.

That's what I need. I owe everything to Chris, we fight and sometimes we can't stand to be in the same room as each other but we know deep down that we love each other and I'm here because of him. Because of all of my loved ones, Matt more so than anyone, Shannon, Shane, Shawn the rest of the guys … But Chris … It was him I guess.


There we go kids, I am writing like a mad woman lol, there is logic.

The more I write the more I will get into the swing of things and the better and more regular your updates will become, you may become sick of the updates but here we go :) Tell me what you think :)

READ AND REVIEW!!! IT'S NEEDED!