Skipping Along 54: Carol Abuse
Genre: 12 Days of Christmas Challenge Day 2
Warning: The beast is back
Category: Kidfic/Humor/Cuteness/My lack of originality .
We're making Christmas cookies for Jack's daycare class. Janet and Cassie are down at the mall doing Christmas shopping leaving me with Jack and in a kitchen that looked like the Pillsbury ™ Doughboy crime scene. In the background the radio was playing. All Christmas carols, all the time till December 25th.
"You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen. Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen. But do you recall the most famous reindeer of all?"
"Oh pul-leeze…" Jack said. "Do we have to listen to this?"
I sighed and put down the cookbook. "Ignore it, Jack," I said.
"Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer had a very shiny nose. And if you ever saw him,
you would even say it glows."
"You know why that nose is so shiny? I'll tell you why that nose is so shiny," Jack rambled smearing icing on the Christmas cookies fingers. "Cocaine is why that nose is so shiny."
I tried to ignore him. Of course the radio played on.
"All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names. They never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games."
"Which is why he became a cocaine dealer," Jack said.
"Jack please!" I complained as I took wet towel to the dried icing that was every where except the cookies. I'm not going to ask how he got it in his hair.
And the radio played on.
"Then one foggy Christmas Eve Santa came to say: "Rudolph with your nose so bright, won't you guide my sleigh tonight?"
"Rudolph got Santa hooked on coke so he would do anything for a fix including putting him on the team," Jack said.
"For crying out loud, Jack," I said scrubbing the table. "Get off the roll you're on."
And the radio played on.
"Then all the reindeer loved him as they shouted out with glee, Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer, you'll go down in history!"
"Because Reindeer pimp turned them on to angel dust and they were flying higher than ever, the stoners," Jack said sitting on a chair and stuffing a cookie in his mouth.
He was being a little rude beast. "What's with the bah humbug, Jack?" I asked. The radio luckily had moved on to something instrumental.
Jack kicked his heels on the chair legs. "Neill said he'd come home for Christmas," he said.
That explained it. Jack has been getting progressively grumpier since Neill had gone back east for college. Jack was really missing his brother. I picked him up and gave him a hug.
"He'll be here," I said. "Don't worry."
Jack sighed, laid his head on my shoulder and stuck his thumb in his mouth. The thumb sucking had mostly stopped a while ago but every once and a while he back slides and does it for comfort. Still.