Mou, I bet you guys are really mad at me for not updating. I'm sorry! So much has happened and not all of it is good. Dad passed away on November 16, and I just fell deep into a dark hole. Then Thanksgiving, my birthday and my sister's birthday, and then Christmas came and I remembered that the Holidays were his favorite season… I'm better now, of course. It still hurts a little but not as much.

Warnings: Uh… grammar and spelling.

Disclaimer: Yeah, I don't own this; I don't want to own this at all. Wait… Yeah, I do want to own it a little, if only to make RyuTats a more canon pairing.


Childhood: noun ~ the early stage in the existence of something.


Blinding sunlight pierced through the opened window and shone straight onto a slumbering teenager. The teen made an annoyed groan and rolled over onto his stomach, throwing the pillow over his head. A few moments of darkness welcomed him happily and he sighed in pleasure before a loud ringing penetrated through the fabric of the pillow. Uesugi Tatsuha removed the pillow and glared at the offending object projecting the noise. With a loud huff, he leaned over and flicked the "off" button.

"Thank you!"

Tatsuha smiled in amusement at his sister. Raking his hand through his sleep tousled hair, Tatsuha climbed out of bed and grabbed his school uniform from his dresser. Before opening the door, he paused and checked the calendar. A big red circle in two days greeted his eyes and grinned. "Ah, Sakuma-san, pretty soon I'll see you again!" He winked at the Nittle Grasper poster over his bed as he walked out.

The bathroom door opened and a freshly-dressed Mika flashed him a small smile. "It's been a while since this has happened."

Tatsuha blinked. "Huh?"

"You always did need extra time to wake up." Mika laughed and patted his shoulder. "I meant you waiting for me to get out of the bathroom."

"You can't talk, Mika. And… uh, Mika, this happened yesterday too."

Mika sent him an annoyed glare and rolled her eyes, walking past him. "I'm going to start on breakfast. Father is in the temple for Morning Prayer. We were going to wake you but decided you could use the extra sleep."

"Extra… sleep?" That's right, Tatsuha thought, it didn't happen last night. I wonder….

"Right." When Mika had woke this morning, a part of her rationalized that everything had been a dream or a nightmare, to be exact. But now, seeing her little brother standing in front of her before he applied any consealer, she knew her previous thoughts were wrong. The faded purple handprints on Tatsuha's neck stood out as a reminder of what they've (Tatsuha and Father more than her) been going through. "Well, you better get in there. I can smell you all ready."

Tatsuha glared as his sister walked down the stairs, laughing. "You can not!" Turning towards the door, he gasped at the young boy in front of him. "You! What do you want?!"

His younger self giggled, "Just making sure you didn't think I left you alone. I was tired last night."

Should I be worried that this doesn't freak me out as much? Tatsuha shook his head, "Hmpth! I wish you would leave me alone!"

"You won't be saying that when you realize why I'm here."

"I wouldn't have to if you would just say it!"

Young Tatsuha sighed, "I can't! You have to remember it on your own! Besides, I think you should be happy to not know yet. It's not that nice to have in our memories."

"What do you mean? Our memories?"

"Ah, I can't speak about that! I have to go now! Bye! And have fun in school, yeah?"

"What? Damn you, wait!"


The teenager twirled around and met his Father's concerned gaze, "Is everything all right, son?"

"Uh, yes, I'm fine."

Uesugi-san eyed him for a few moments, "He was here again?"

Tatsuha nodded guiltily. "He disappeared when he realized you were coming, I think."

"Hm, it seems he only wants to talk with you." Uesugi-san walked closer to him and lightly pushed him towards the bathroom door, "You better get in there. You don't have much time before you have to leave."


"Yuki! Where's the soap?!"

Yuki Eiri groaned from the living room and growled, "Where it's always been. In the closet!"

"Ah, thank you!"

Eiri rested his palm on his forehead and grabbed the beer can from the table and leaned back into the plush cushions of this couch. He rested easily and took a long drink of the alcohol before setting it back on the table. Eiri removed the pack of cigarettes from his shirt pocket and lit one, eyeing the small photo on his lighter. He smiled lightly and settled the cigarette in his mouth, tilting his head to rest on the back of the couch.

"Yuki! What about the towels?"

"In the closet!" Honestly, how long has he lived here again? Eiri resisted the urge to let out a small string of curses at his not-all-there lover.

"Thank you! Love you!"

Eiri heard his lover's feet squish around on the wet bathroom floor before a loud click, alerting the closing of the shower door. "And telling me that is not going to help him when he gets out." He closed his eyes and took a drag of his cigarette.


Eiri lightly jumped from the couch, searching his apartment for the only voice who called him that. The only noise going through the medium-sized home was his lover's shower and he could hear Shuichi's muffled singing through the bathroom door. "Damn it. Stupid brother for making me worry about nothing."

"Ah, Eiri! Come play with me now, yeah?!"

Eiri turned his head from the bathroom door and eyed the young boy standing in front of him. "I must be going crazy."

The young boy giggled, "Nope!"

"Our younger brother is being haunted by his five-year-old self." Eiri flinched as he remembered his sister's words. So, this was the child she was talking about? Well, he does look like Tatsuha. Eiri looked at the young boy staring at him innocently. Ah, what the hell am I talking about? It is Tatsuha!

"Are you okay, Aniki?"


"That's good! Let's play with the fish! We can flick the water back and forth! You said that helped you stay calm, right?"

Eiri took the last drag from his cigarette and stubbed it in the ashtray on the table. His younger brother (Could he call him that considering his brother was way older than this?) gasped at his older brother's dealings. "Aniki! You're not supposed to be doing that! What if they find out?!"

Eiri didn't have to ask who "they" were. "Ah, I don't really care." It wasn't true, though. He didn't care what his Father thought, but his Mother? Well, she had been a different matter.

"Aniki? Why won't you tell me?"

The elder sighed and rested his head against the couch, "Tell you about what? You have to be more specific."

"You know what I'm talking about! What happened years ago! What happened to her! Tell me, damn it!"

"Cursing isn't good for a kid, you know."

"I wouldn't curse if you told me!"

"I still don't know what you're talking about."

The young boy looked at him, "Could it be? Could you and Aneki have shoved the memory way back in your minds that you don't think about it? I know I forgot it but I remember now. I just have to make him remember! Don't tell me I have to work on you two now?!"

"You were aggravating as a child."

"I am a child."

"Glad you can finally admit that."

Young Tatsuha rolled his eyes, "I'm a child. My older self isn't. There's a difference!"

"I'll believe it when I see it."

"Aniki? When you remember, will you tell me?"

"Tell you what?"

"What you remember?"

"Hm, maybe, I guess. It depends on the memory."

"Aniki, do me a favor yeah?"

"Again, it depends."

Eiri raised his head at the silence. The young boy wasn't anywhere to be seen and for a small moment Eiri believe he had imagined the conversation. His belief was blown away when the balcony doors shattered and a harsh wind ruffled his cloths and hair. A towel clad Shuichi came stumbling from the bathroom, "Yuki! What happened?!"

Shuichi's lover didn't answer and Shuichi watched him stand and walk to the broken glass door. "Yuki?"

Eiri gave his young lover's towel a small look before looking out the door. He could feel it, the wind. His clothes and hair was still flinching from the movement; Shuichi's towel as well. But the truth was set plainly in front of him. He could feel the wind and could even hear the swishing noise it always brought, but outside with the trees and the other people, there wasn't any sign of movement.

Everything was still.


This seemed much longer in Word.

Does that make up for my long wait? I hope so! The chapters should come out once a week from now… hopefully! I know I'm not supposed to reply to reviewers from here… but I want to. Haha.

Mia4Ever ~ I suppose since Dad's not in any pain, he is doing better? I still miss him. Actually, I want to cuddle both Tatsuha's. I'll get him any way I can! Ah, that's cute! Thank you!

7orangesun ~ Maybe this chapter helped the confusion? The answers should be given soon… I think.