Venial Sins

By Totally3rdGrade

His black eyes looked right through me, the light that was his life was now gone. I stared at his face in shock, my body frozen with such staggering grief that I couldn't even move. My father supported my weight as I sunk to the floor, my agonizing sobs echoed throughout the disserted hallways of the quiet hospital. Everyone in the room disappeared and the only thing I could see through my tired, tear-filled eyes was his face. His russet skin was wrinkled from years of life, his shoulder length hair was snow white, no hint of grey in sight. His aged appearance was so completely different from mine. I had wished before that I could grow old along with him, many times before, in fact. But I couldn't. As much as I hoped and as hard as I wished, I couldn't.

I tried to prepare myself. I thought I had come to terms with this when he had started to age again. but I hadn't prepared for this. This unbearable feeling that my heart was being ripped into pieces muscle by muscle, vein by vein. The feeling as if I could no longer touch, think or breath ever again. The desire not to touch, breath, or think ever again was too much. I wanted to die with my Jacob, but I couldn't. As strong as I thought I was, I wasn't. To this day, the empty feeling of loss and hopelessness still lingers. To this day, I miss Jacob so much, I sometimes believe that I will go mad in my despair. The alcohol may muffle my sense of judgment and my racing thoughts, but there is always the day after when the hang over hits and the loss of Jacob hits me again like a continuous tsunami. I comfort myself in the fact that he is finally at peace, that he is so much happier wherever he is now than he ever was with me in life. I hoped that the burdens he had in this life are lifted off from his shoulders. That's all I can do except to get through the day and wait for the end of forever.

This has been going around in my head for a while. Please, tell me what you think and I just might make it a full story, I'm pretty excited about this.