Disclaimer: I don't own Dragonball Z, or Fall For You by Secondhand Serenade.
"This is not what I intended
I always swore to you I'd never fall apart
You always thought that I was stronger
I may have failed, but I have loved you from the start"
Some men are bad because they break the law. They steal, cheat, murder. I don't do that, but I am not a good man.
I am the worst kind of man. I am bad, because I broke my family.
Today, after I got back from the Kai's planet, everyone was happy. They all congratulated me, saying things like "You saved the world again, Goku," or, "I knew you'd do it, man." Yes, everyone was happy, everyone but me.
Sitting here, eating dinner in my house- the house I haven't seen in seven years- it's hard to keep up my happy front. The boys chat excitedly, and I try to keep up, smiling and laughing along with them, but I can't help the sick feeling in my gut.
I look at my sons, and am consumed by guilt. I wish now that I could rewind time, and knock some sense into the Goku from seven years ago. What was I thinking?
I thought my absence would keep the world safe. How foolish of me. Yes, some people did seek me out to fight, but others, like Buu, they just wanted to kill no matter what. I left my family, my wife and son, without giving it any real thought.
Even worse, my wife had been pregnant at the time. I didn't even know. Perhaps if I hadn't been so wrapped up in my own life, I would have noticed the tell tale signs. I didn't even know Goten existed until I came back, seven years later.
I try to give myself excuses. I tell myself that if I had have looked at my family through King Kai, I would have been to upset, and missed them too much to be able to train properly.
Yes, that would have been true, but the reality is also that time flies in Other World. I didn't really even think about them that much.
I wish I did, now. I don't know my own children, and I don't even know what to say to my wife.
I don't deserve to be called a hero. I have failed at the most important jobs of all.
She knows what I'm thinking. If only for the briefest of moments, she gives me that look, the same worried expression she always seems to have. I'm always making her worry.
"Its bedtime, kids," she says to our boys.
"Aww, mom! Can't we stay up a little longer? I wanna play with daddy!" Goten pleads, pulling at her skirt.
Chi Chi smiles, and it hurts even more to know I left this beautiful woman alone for so long.
"No, sweetheart," she says to our youngest, "but maybe if you go brush your teeth quickly, daddy might tell you a bedtime story." She looks at me, smiling again. "You'll do that for the boys, won't you Goku?" she asks.
"Of course!" I reply, hiding my feelings by laughing again. "Come on boys, I'll race you to the bathroom!"
They laugh and do as they're told. As I watch them get ready for bed, I can't help but feel sad all over again. What happened to my little boy? Gohan's all grown up now, and I don't know how I'm supposed to relate to him. It was easy when he was a kid, but what now? He's practically a man. He's even gone and found himself a girl.
I tell them a story, one from when I was a little boy, and kiss them goodnight. I hope they can forgive me for what I have done.
I go to my bedroom and sit on the bed, waiting for Chi Chi. I don't know what I'm going to say to her.
Quietly, she walks in and closes the door. Then she stands there, watching me silently. I wish she would say something.
"Its been a long time, huh, Chi?" I say finally, hating the long silence.
"Seven years," she replies coldly.
I look at my feet after that. It's too hard to look into her eyes.
"I'm so sorry, Chi Chi," I say in a whisper. My throat feels swollen, and my eyes are burning. I don't want to cry in front of her though; I'm supposed to be the strong one.
"Do you really mean that, Goku?" she asks, and I look up. How could she doubt me like that?
"Yes," I croak out. "I wish I could change everything."
More time drags by slowly. Eventually, she comes to sit beside me.
"You really hurt me, Goku," she says quietly.
I want to apologise, but I know sorry isn't enough. I just hope she doesn't ask me to leave permanently. I don't think I could live with that.
"Was I really that bad?" she asks, her voice breaking on the last word. I look to see tears flooding down her face, but I don't know what she's talking about.
"What do you mean, you're not bad, Chi Chi."
"Was I that bad of a wife!" she yells, "Was I that bad that you didn't want to come home? All my yelling, all my nagging, it drove you away, didn't it?"
Was that what she thought? Has she been blaming herself for my absence all these years?
"No, no, of course not, Chi Chi," I tell her, and the tears start rolling down my face too.
"I missed you, I stayed dead because I thought the world would be safer, that's all."
"You're always putting the world first, Goku," she sobs, "will I ever come first to you? Will you ever put the needs of your family first?"
"If I can," I tell her truthfully. "Sometimes I can't, though. I'm sorry."
We sit there in silence again, and she eventually stops crying.
"I forgive you," she says, looking up at me. "I knew what I was getting myself into when I married you, so I can't blame you. It's in your nature to help people, and to do things without thinking them over. I still love you, Son Goku."
"I love you too, Chi Chi."
She wraps her arms around me, and all the sick feelings disappear. She still loves me, even though I've made so many mistakes. With Chi Chi here, I suddenly feel like everything will be okay.
She makes me a better man.
"Tonight will be the night that I will fall for you, over again…"
A/N: I'm going to do a chapter for each character shown in the Buu saga. It won't be repeating the same stuff over again though, I just thought it would be cool to get inside the heads of each character. The lyrics come from the song Fall For You by Secondhand Serenade, as I said in the disclaimer, I don't own them.