AN: 'Kay, so I've been wanting to do a fic like this for a while. It's really almost new to me, but I have enough inspiration so it'll probably turn out the way I planned. I hope you guys are up for that whole forbidden love kind of theme, cause this is where it's headed. Please review. (:

Can't You Feel The Weight of My Stare

Chapter One;

Through The Looking Glass

A cold sweat. I just woke up in a cold sweat. It's little things that happen to me that can make my body react so unwillingly. I mean, when's the last time I've ever woken up sweating? Not since I was sixteen. Maybe it was because I hadn't known him-- But that didn't matter, the point was, was that I was having these crazy, out-of-nowhere dreams. Actual dreams about Jeff Hardy. Something wasn't right here. Phil never had this affect on me. Okay, sure I'd fallen in love with him at one point, but it wasn't the same type of affect that I'm feeling with Jeff. With Phil, his affect was sweet, honest, and trustworthy, but with Jeff it was more powerful than that.

And I'm pretty sure he has no idea.

"Ria?" A familiar, concerned voice said.

I rolled over in my twin sized bed to see Phil standing at my door. His expression was fragile, looking like it was going to break if I didn't answer him.

"Yeah," I said, my voice barely audible. "What's wrong?"

Without answering, he paced his way towards me, carefully gesturing for me to make room for him to sit on the bed.

"Well, I was just about to ask you that. And--" He paused, looking easily distracted by something. Apparently me. I suddenly got why he was looking at me so strangely. He lifted up his cool right hand and slowly wiped my forehead.

"You're sweating." He stated. Thanks Captin Obvious. "You never sweat."

"Yeah, I just had a bad nightmare," I lied. It would without a doubt be his nightmare, but for me, it was heaven.

"You get nightmares?" He asked, sudden sarcasim struck his voice.

"Yes, Phil," I sighed. "Not everyone's perfect." I pointed out.

He scoffed. "You're perfect."

I rolled my eyes while I got off the bed. I could still feel Phil's eyes staring at me.

"I'm going to take a shower," I said, grabbing my personal items and practically squeezing into the tiny bathroom. Gosh, this hotel was cheap.

After I was done showering and was fully dressed, I walked out of the bathroom smiling expecting Phil to still be there.

And he wasn't. But like usual, there was a note. I picked it up and read it aloud.


I went to the gym to meet up with Jeff. I'll be back later.


I sighed in frustration. This is how Phil always was. He'd visit me every morning, make small talk and then he'd just bolt. I quickly glanced at the note before balling it up and throwing it to the bare floor. Now what was I to do?

Once Phil was back from the gym, it was time for me to go meet up with Ashley. Yesterday we'd planned to go to the bar to have a nice drink and talk for a while. Of course I'd agreed to go. I had alot to vent about, and alcohol would do help me do just that.

"Maria, you know this really upsets me." I glanced up at Phil who was intentionally glaring at me. I was so used to that stare, that I knew what was coming next. The whole 'Straight-Edge-Lifstyle-Talk'.

"Look, Phil," I started, putting down my mirror. "I know this goes against everything you stand for, but..."

"So why are you doing it?" He asked, eagerly cutting me off.

Was he really expecting me to answer that? Why else would I? Because I was thirsty?

"Because... I want to feel good, you know? Relaxed..." I said, hoping that that was the convo-breaker.

He suddenly got off the bed and made his way to me. He began running his fingers through my hair. Staring at me with those big, sad eyes, shoving guilt all the way down my throat.

"Ria, honey, I can make you relaxed. I can make you feel good without the alcohol," he persuaded.

"Yeah, I know but... This... This is kind of like a Girl's Night Out thing. I won't drink tonight if that's what you want," I sighed. I was relieved when his tense face loosened up and softened.

"Thank you, Maria. It means alot," he said.

"Yeah, yeah," I replied, giving him a small peck on the lips before grabbing my purse and heading for the door. "Just don't do anything funny while I'm gone, okay?"

"You got it," he promised.

Shock overcame me as I felt a pair of hands shake me from behind. I was one the verge of screaming, but relief struck me as I recognized the upbeat voice.


"Ria!" She exasperated in my ear. Although I didn't scream, I did flinch.

"Aw, damn it, Ashley," I exclaimed as she turned me to face her. "You almost gave me a fucking stroke!"

"My bad," she said sounding offended. When she saw my expression relax she smiled again.

"Want a drink? My treat," she offered. My mind then flashed to Phil. His disapproving words replayed over and over in my mind again. His relieved face when I promised not to disappoint him. Lord only knows his reaction would be if he saw me stumbling back to him drunk.

But he wouldn't have to worry about that tonight, would he?

"Um, no thanks. It's probably not the best idea," I assured her. Her expression went numb.

"Oh, I get it..." She began. "Big Boss Brooks said his slave can't drink, huh?" She contradicted. I rolled my eyes in disgust.

"Phil's not controlling me," I stated. Her face beamed again.

"How'd you know I was talking about Phil?" She asked, sudden amusement lit her face. With the innocent expression on my face, and the smile on hers, I knew I was caught.

"Maria, stop behaving all the time. You need a little fun in your life," she said as we walked into the bar. "Phil won't know if you have one little drink." Yeah, right. It was totally impossible for me to have just one little drink, and half of the time they wouldn't be drinks, they would be more like shots, straight liquor at the most.

"Ash, I promised him."

"Your loss. All I'm saying is, that soon you're really going to need it," she warned.

"What's that supposed to mean?" My voice was both curious yet shaky.

She didn't respond. She just crossed her arms and stared. "Just come on," she finally said, grabbing my arm and pulling me to a stool.

We'd had a small conversation discussing how I was going to do my next interview.

"So who are you interviewing?" She asked. Curse her for making me say his name.

"Um... Jeff," I said, failing to sound casual.

"Hardy?" She asked, I could see her lip curving into a smirk.

"Yes," I breathed. "Jeff Hardy." She was fully smiling now.

"Ooh, don't get too attactched," she teased.

"What?" I asked, practically choking on my Colada. Virgin, of course.

"You know how addicting the Hardy's can be." Do I.

"Um, not really," I lied. "I hardly even speak to them. Well, except for Matt."

Her eyes widened. "I hope you haven't done anything funny with him, Kanellis," she responded playfully.

"Oh, please, Ashley. You know I'd never do that." Humph, like I'd want to.

"Good," she said, before ordering another glass of whatever fancy wine she was drinking.

I don't know why, but my eyes felt the urge to flash over to the table next to us. How coincidentally the person I wasn't expecting and certainly not wanting to see was at that exact table. There they were. Matt, and the ever so addicting Jeff Hardy. I quickly turned my head away from them, and once I caught another peek at them, they were both staring. Well, Matt was a little too occupied gawking at Ashley, and Jeff was too busy staring at me. He was staring at me so hard, and with such concentration, that it was as if he was looking right through me.

I was sure he'd think I would look away, but that would just make me a coward. It took Ashley to get me to stop looking at him... For a second.

"Maria, what are you looking at?" She asked, following my gaze and smiling when she saw what I was doing.

"Nothing," I said, looking away, embarrassed.

"You were looking at Jeff, weren't you?" She asked, her voice was exciting, hyped-up.

When I didn't answer, she suddenly got up and made her way towards them.

"Ashley, what are you doing?!" I whispered, hoping she could hear. She glanced at me and winked. Obviously she had.

She went to whisper something in Jeff's ear, then sat down next to Matt. When I looked at Jeff again, he was chugging down his beer quite aggressively.

Boy, was I going to murder Ashley Massaro.

AN: Thanks for reading the first chapter, guys. I really appreciate the reviews. So please and thank you. (: