A/N:

Moro: -dons fake beard and Santa hat- HO HO HO!

Mitsu: Uhm…Hikari, what are you doing?

Moro: Getting into character!

Disclaimer:

Hachi: Kazuki Takahashi owns Yu-Gi-Oh!, and Moro doesn't. Obviously. And the company Severtech doesn't belong to her either, although that has to be the greatest company name ever. Enjoy the show.


Let's all be naughty and save Santa a trip!


Snowflakes fell gracefully from the puffy clouds floating lazily across the sky. The chilly white flakes settled delicately onto the pavement and dusted the roof of a black truck in intricate patterns. Two figures shot out of a hastily opened door and ran around the parking lot, pushing freshly fallen snow up with their boots. Another pair of figures stepped out of the vehicle more calmly and slammed the doors closed. They exchanged grim looks.

"Hurry up, Marik!" Malik, one of the more excited ones, called. He flipped a lock of sandy blond hair behind his ear and tightened his fashionable lavender scarf around his neck.

"What's the rush?" Marik asked and walked alongside the other apathetic boy, running a hand through his spiky blond hair.

"We need to get in line early!" added Ryou, walking back towards the two of them and straightened the fourth boy's blue scarf.

"What for, Ryou? It doesn't seem all that special to me…," Bakura said, rolling his eyes at Ryou's motherly behavior.

"What are you talking about?!" Ryou exclaimed while adjusting his own identical blue scarf, "Santa is a very big deal!"

"I don't see it…"

"Me either," Marik added," What's the fucking point of this anyway? We could all be home in our nice warm house, but no. We just had to all go to this cheerful, sugar-coated, overpriced hellhole of a shopping mall," he ranted as they all walked across the parking lot towards the main entrance.

"Aw, come on, Marik, it'll be fun! You'll see!" Ryou gushed cheerfully, "We can all tell Santa Clause what we want for Christmas!" he linked arms with his dark side.

"Yeah, Marik, don't you want a present?" Malik asked and grabbed his gloved hand.

"Lightness, what I want is something that I want from you, not that fat bastard."

"Oh. What's that?" Ryou asked obliviously.

Bakura and Marik laughed as Malik's cheeks turned a light shade of pink, "Nothing, Ryou."


Fluffy white cotton covered every inch of floor space and statues of candy canes, gumdrops, and dancing teddy bears were set up around a high-backed chair with velvet cushions. Ryou and Malik waited eagerly and impatiently in line, craning their necks to try and see Santa Clause. Bakura and Marik stood behind them glaring angrily and generally being unpleasant. They were clearly unmoved by the material holiday spirit.

"What are you asking Santa for, Ryou?" Malik asked excitedly while checking out his reflection on the back of Ryou's Millennium Ring.

"There's this cookbook I saw last time we were here, and I really hope Santa will bring it for me!" Ryou replied with an even higher level of enthusiasm, "What are you asking for?"

Bakura and Marik exchanged glances.

"Last time Marik took me weapon shopping, I saw this really beautiful switchblade made by Severtech! It had chrome in it, so it would be more durable and less likely to break. Ooh, I bet the blood would just slide right off it…," a shiver of delight ran down his spine. (1)

Marik smirked at Bakura, "And Ryou wants a cookbook…"

Bakura smacked him on the back of the head, "Shut up…"

Malik and Ryou squirmed with impatience, "It's almost our turn!" Malik informed Ryou, seeing as he was taller, and jumped up and down in place, "I want it to be my turn now, though!"

Marik unhooked the Millennium Rod from his belt loop, "Whatever you want, Lightness."

"No, Marik!" Malik exclaimed, realizing his mistake, "I didn't mean kill everyone in front of us! That's terrible! They're children!"

"But, Lightness!" Marik whined.

Malik wagged his finger in Marik's face, "Naughty naughty, darkness. No killing innocents."

Suddenly, Santa let out a hearty laugh and they realized they were one person away from the front of the line. "Ho ho ho, who's next to sit on Santa's lap?"

Bakura's eyes went wide, "By the Gods, that pedophile!"

Marik's eyes had gone as wide as Bakura's, "This is a disturbing holiday, and not in the good way. There's no way I'm letting you up there, Malik."

"Yeah," Bakura agreed, "No way, Ryou."

Ryou shook his head frantically, "No, no, you've got it all wrong! It's not like that at all!"

"Yeah!" Malik chimed in, "Please, Marik? I promise it's not at all like what it sounds like," he clasped his hands together in front of himself and gave Marik his best cute face.

"If you say so…," Marik said slowly, not completely convinced but unable to resist the cute face.

"Ho ho ho!" Santa laughed again as he waved goodbye to the little girl he was listening to, "Who's next?"

Ryou waved his hand in the air, "Me me me!"

"Come up here then, son!" the man let out another laugh.

Ryou exchanged an ecstatic look with Malik before hurrying up to go sit on Santa's knee.

"Damn it…," Bakura swore, flexing his fingers with an agitated look on his face, "That fat pedophile…He will pay for this…" he stalked out of the line of small children, Malik, and Marik to wait where Ryou would be once he was done talking to "the fat pedophile".

"Malik!" Marik whined again, "Can I pretty please cut him up?"

"No!! You can't!!" exclaimed a horrified Malik, "No Santa means no presents, and who ever heard of a Christmas without free stuff?!"

Santa let out a chuckle and Ryou beamed up at him, "A cookbook, eh? I think I know just the one you're talking about, Ryou my boy! Mrs. Clause has that same one!"

"She does?" Ryou asked, genuinely surprised, "That's so cool!"

"Well, I'll make sure to tell her for you. Goodbye, son!"

Ryou jumped off of Santa's knee and scrambled for where Bakura was waiting. He flung his arms around Bakura's waist, "That. Was. So. Cool! Thank you for not killing Santa, Bakura!"

Marik wasn't as composed as Bakura was, however. His expression contorted into raw anger as Malik practically bounced up to Santa. Sharp nails dug painfully into the palm of his hand as Malik slid gracefully onto the fat man's lap and began to babble on about his coveted switchblade. Santa looked shocked for a moment, but then he laughed, thinking Malik was joking about his wish, and put an arm around his waist casually.

What remained of Marik's self-control snapped as he cracked his knuckles in anger and bared his teeth. "Fuck this!!" he yelled and launched himself at jolly old Saint Nick.

Luckily, Bakura had been watching and ready to restrain him if he needed to. He dragged an enraged Marik over to where Ryou was standing by the collar of his coat and murmured into his ear, "Fuck you, man. Can't you control your damn temper for two minutes?"

"Uhm, I have to go now," Malik said, "Don't forget what I want! Bye!" he said and hopped off of Santa's lap. He then dashed over to where the rest of them were standing, "Marik, what's wrong?"

"I'll tell you what's fucking wrong, Malik! He is!" he pointed at the man on the chair, who was already talking to another little child, "You were damn well molested by a jolly holiday icon! I am the only one, I repeat, ONLY ONE allowed to molest you! Ever!"

Malik smirked and leaned in, "Prove it," he whispered seductively.

Needing no other urging, Marik pushed his mouth roughly against Malik's in a heated kiss. He automatically relaxed and wrapped strong arms around his hikari, putting a supportive hand on the back of his head. Marik's tongue pushed against Malik's lips, demanding an entrance that was immediately granted. Malik threaded his hands through Marik's wild hair and arched his back, moaning loudly.

Bakura leveled a disgusted glare at the two of them and covered Ryou's wide eyes with one hand.

Marik felt Bakura's glare on him as well as the stares of many other people, but ignored them and kept all his attention on properly molesting his light.

"Oi, psycho!" Bakura yelled as Marik slipped a hand down the back of Malik's designer jeans, "We are in public! You are scarring all these toddlers for life!"

Marik broke off the kiss. Still holding onto his dazed hikari, he licked his lips, "Eh, I've done worse."


A/N:

Moro: Ah, nothing like a little pre-Christmas smut to get the spirits up!

Mitsu: Hmm, hikari, what happens when Eileena reads this?

Moro: I'm so dead…Dead as a door-nail. Mind! I don't mean to say that I know, of my own knowledge, what there is particularly dead about a door-nail. I might have been inclined, myself, to regard a coffin-nail as the deadest piece of ironmongery in the trade. But the wisdom of our ancestors is in the simile; and my unhallowed hands shall not disturb it, or the Country's done for. You will therefore permit me to repeat, emphatically, that I will be as dead as a door-nail.

Mitsu: Enough Charles Dickens research for you…

REVIEW! PLEASE? IT'S CHRISTMAS. THE SEASON OF GIVING. GIVE THE GIFT OF REVIEWS! I LOVE YOU ALL AND HAVE A HAPPY HOLIDAY!

Moro: Shameless…

Footnotes:

1: I swear I didn't make that company name up. It actually exists. Search for switchblades on wikipedia (don't own) and look under brand names if you're suspicious!