Disclaimer: dont own anything because if I did I'd be filthy stinking rich, but I'm not

Warning: contains cursing. rated M to be safe

The four marauders were sitting outside beneath a tree. It was Saturday and they really didn't have much to do. Lupin was trying to focus on his homework while James and Sirius were shooting charms at a ball to make it fly into the air while Peter drooled over them. Finally giving up on his homework, Lupin closed his book slightly annoyed.

"Don't you three think you should study?" Lupin asked, even though he knew it was a stupid question.

"We are studying," James said, not taking his eyes off the ball, "Look. Rictasempra!" he shouted and the ball flew towards Sirius.

"Yeah," Sirius added, "Stupify!"

Peter didn't respond but merely continued gawking at James who was enjoying being admired as always. Finally, James caught the ball and began to shake it back and forth in front of Sirius's face. Sirius responded by dropping down on all fours and waving his bum in the air playfully.

"You want the ball boy, huh, you want it?" James asked and Sirius barked impatiently. James threw the ball and Sirius bounded after it still on hands and knees. He returned shortly, carrying the ball in his mouth. He dropped it in front of James and barked.

"Good boy!" said James as he began scratching behind Sirius's ear.

"You lot are ridiculous!" Lupin scolded.

"Aww, come on, Mooney," James said, pouting a little bit, "That hurt," James sniffed and looked at Lupin in mock sadness. Sirius, who had been getting his belly rubbed by Peter, whined and rolled back onto his hands and knees. He crawled over to Lupin and began trying to shove his head under his friends arm. "Oh you leave me be," Lupin said and shoved Sirius's head back. Sirius sat back on his heels and lifted his finger in the air.

"A dog is a man's best friend," Sirius said knowingly.

"You got that right, mate," James said and put an arm around his best friend. The two boys, with their messy black hair, lean yet muscular bodies, and matching ridiculous grins, looked like they could be brothers. Suddenly, James lept back and pointed a finger at Sirius. "Holy shit!!! The dog just talked!!!" he shouted.

"Bloody hell!!! I did, didn't I?" Sirius said, pretending to look shocked.

"Why, we could sell this story to the Daily Prophet," James said, "We could make millions!" James lept to his feet.

"A brilliant idea, Prongs," Peter piped in.

"I thank you, Wormtail," James said and took a bow, "but we really should thank Padfoot. He is the one who learned to talk and all." James pulled Sirius up to stand next to him. Sirius licked James's cheek. "Gross, Padfoot!" James protested.

"Sorry, mate," Sirius apologized, "but you had jam on you face. I couldn't help it." Lupin rolled his eyes and tried to get back to his homework.

"Well if it isn't a snake in the garden," James sneered. The other followed his gaze and saw Severus Snape walking across the grass, looking for a secluded yet shaded place to do his work without being bothered.

"James," Lupin whined, "I can't bail you out of trouble this time. Dumbledor'll have my badge." James didn't hear, he was focused on Snape.

"I don't see why you want that dumb ol' thing anyway. You never see any of the sexy people getting them and look how happy we are," Sirius said, also watching Snape, "A wonder he doesn't burst into flames right now," he added to James.

"And a pity," he said, "But then," he drew his wand, "we can always fix that."

"That we can, mate, that we can." Sirius nodded and drew his own wand. Peter was trembling with excitement. Lupin, finally deciding that there was no chance of finishing his work now, stood up and brushed himself off. Peter, now the only one left sitting, felt a bit left out and sprang up to stand on James's other side.

"Hey, Snivillus," James called out tauntingly and began to walk towards Snape with the rest of the marauders right behind him. Snape grudgingly turned and drew his wand.

"Shit," he muttered to himself and then, "Leave me alone," he hissed at James through clenched teeth, pointing his wand at the advancing boy.

"Uh oh," said Sirius, "Looks like we've made him mad, mate. Watch yourself, he might get violent." Sirius and James laughed.

"Expeliarmus," James said. Snape was knocked down and his wand flew out of his hand. James and Sirius stood over him menacingly. "While you're down there, you better listen closely. You stay away from Lily Evens, understand? She's mine and she's a Gryffindor, so she doesn't need your slimey little self goin' anywhere near her, got it?" Snape's cheeks reddened.

"And why would I have any interest in that disgusting little mudblood?" Snape snapped.

"Why you littleā€¦I otta crucio you for that." James pointed his wand threateningly down at Snape.

"Wait!" Lupin cried, "teacher," and he pointed across the grass where Professor McGonagall was strolling leisurely around the campus. James growled in frustration.

"You're ass is safe for now, Snivillus," he hissed, "but you better watch yourself." James and the others turned and walked back to their spot under the tree.

"That was brilliant, James!" Peter piped.

"You really showed that little bastard," Sirius put in. James just grumbled. "Aww, don't be disappointed, Prongs. You scared the shit out of him. He'll be looking over his shoulder at every turn."

"Your right," James said finally, the familiar smirk reappearing on his handsome face, "and I will be there kicking his ass into next week. And once I've left school, my child will continue the job."

"Your child with Lily?" Lupin grinned.

"Definitely," James said, "As soon as she realizes our undying love for each other I shall whisk her away into the sunset on my trusty steed." James struck a manly pose. Sirius could no longer hold in the desire to laugh and he doubled over while trying to breathe.

"Prongs," he managed to gasp, "You can't even ride a horse." James frowned at his best friend, but that turned into a devilish grin.

"Well then, I suppose a dog will have to do then!" James lept at Sirius and knocked him onto his stomach. He climbed onto his back and gently kicked the other boys sides with his heals.

"Hi ho, Silver! Tallyho!" James shouted before rolling off his friend and collapsing into a fit of laughter. The other three joined him before they all went into the great hall for dinner.

The End