A/N: No, no I haven't died … yet … but I get the feeling imma kill myself sooner or later, college sux and it's frickin' stressing me the hell out!! UGH!! But … anyway … plz don't be alarmed or offended if I haven't responded to you about my other unfinished stories, I am terribly sorry for not finishing them, and believe me I've tried, but I've lost interest in them. I know it sux, but the truth is the truth, I won't be completing those stories anytime soon, I repeat, I will not be completing those stories anytime soon. Again I apologize for the inconvenience, but that's that. However I will leave them up just for viewing pleasure, so again, I am sorry.
Now that all the bad news is out of the way, let me move on, yes, I am back my friends and with a whole new story. Although, in this story I've decided to try to do something a little different, for those of you who've been reading my stories I think you'll notice the difference in my style of writing. If there even is a difference to notice (shrugs) I dunno, I thought it was different than my others as I was writing it.
Sum: Heroes try to save the world when they themselves are lost. This saying never held more truth for me than it does now … I don't know what happened, or why I, of all times in my Heroic Career, do I now hold so much distaste for what I have always wanted to do since the discovery of my fate and destiny. I don't want to be evil, I don't want to do bad things … and yet I'm drawn to it like a moth to a flame … I'm drawn to the people who do these things for a living, I'm drawn to the freedom. I love my friends, I love the opportunity I have to help and save people, but I can't take it anymore. I'm getting sick of it all, and with each passing day this sickness grows stronger and stronger.
That's always been my number one fear in life … becoming a bad person, I don't want to be a bad person … and yet the only stable person I have to cling on to is written on Robin's top most wanted list. Red X … he's not a good-guy, he's not a hero, and he most definitely isn't a very good friend, but I need him … he isn't good for me, like a deadly narcotic I know having him will get me killed sooner than heal me.
I get the feeling Robin knows about us though …
Which means my time in Titan Tower might be up.
Long Road to Ruin
"There is good …
And there is evil …
There are those that commit crimes …
And those that work to stop it …
The lines between them are as plain as day …
And night …
Or at least …
They're supposed to be …"
A clever if not naïve choice of words from a rather young and – by my point of view anyway – confused, often misunderstood, and clouded stubborn-minded detective that calls himself the leader of the Teen Titans. Robin. Just that one word – er – nameif technicalities were concerned, is enough to gain instant respect. Robin, to a villain (or who heconsiders a 'villain' anyway) strikes familiarity and if possible, fear, but mostly a deep resentment in their hearts … well, if the bad-guy really did have a heart to begin with.
An upturn of the lip in an irritated sneer, one reaction often associated with a villain that already knew who the hero was. Robin. My leader, my commanding officer, my – I shook my head, I didn't need to think about him now, I start thinking about him I start questioning my position on the team and then everything rolls down hill from there. Besides, from the corner of my eye as I sat at the counter of an all-night café the waitress was watching me with impatience. I was expecting her to come and finally kick me out since I haven't ordered a single thing for the hour I've been sitting here in the middle of the night.
Or early in the morning, I don't carry a watch but I was pretty damn sure I left the Tower at around midnight or later, doesn't matter anyway. Lately time has lost her sway over me, I was no longer obsessed with keeping track of it … one day faded into the next until it became a week and then a month and then years, until finally it all didn't matter.
I even remember not too long ago I had actually forgotten my own birthday.
Beast Boy, of course, reminded me (reminded the whole team as a matter of fact) with a party, and a big one at that, even the Honorary Titans were invited to celebrate my 18th birthday. Why did he plan something so special? Because I actually saved Terra's memory … granted it was an accident, but it happened nonetheless. Beast Boy had the audacity to bring the blue-eyed geomancer to the Tower and reintroduced her to the rest of the Titans, but as his date. From what I could recall then they had been going steady for about a year without the rest of the team's knowledge, until finally Beast Boy decided to have a sit down.
She reached out to shake all of our hands, but when she touched mines' surges of forgotten memories, and memories best left forgotten flew passed her eyes. She had screamed so long and so loud everyone, excluding myself, was afraid she'd do herself an injuring. She stared to beg me to stop, to release her, but I didn't … her agony, pain, and suffering made me believe she deserved it; she deserved every bit of it. Why should she have gone on to live a life in blissful ignorance while the rest of us suffered the repercussions of her actions?
Repercussions that should be hers to bear.
No, I held on tight and even forced more of her memory into her, even the ones that hurt me to remember, until all that was left was a crying little girl curled into a tight ball at my feet, rocking back and forth begging the pain to all go away. It was pathetic; I remembered thinking to myself, Had I really let myself be conquered by this worm? I couldn't look at her when Beast Boy dropped to his knees and cradled her in his arms while glaring at me furiously, thinking I had done it on purpose. Only when I reminded him that she now knew the truth of what she's done and what she is did my cruelty become a remnant of history to him.
That was the beauty of Beast Boy; things were easily forgotten for him.
But that's Terra's story all summed up in a few paragraphs.
She did become a full-fledge Titan, under my care due to Robin's brilliant idea that she would learn how to control her powers to the fullest if kept under my watch.
Needless to say she was grateful for having me return her to superhero status, but we still resented each other with a passion.
I still don't trust her, even now, and she secretly hates me for giving her back her memories.
Especially of the times when she's lost control and killed many by the thousands, only she and I knew this little fact. A fact I discreetly shared with Robin, who wasn't stupid by any means, he probably figured it out before I saw the memories in my head and that's why he stuck me with her. To be sure that this time around she doesn't take any short cuts. That little Slade-fiasco of hers was an all-time screw up, there was nothing she can do to change, forget, or repent for it. Nothing.
Speaking of nothing … the waitress was getting sick of watching me sit and do nothing.
With her frizzed out fire red hair and black baggy green eyes that glared at me with great exasperation she finally pused off the counter to stand before me. Even though I couldn't see it, I could hear it, her heels tapped impatiently on the tiled floor before she asked, no, demanded with a sneer, "Hun, you gonna order anytime this year?"
I could have just simply said no, and left it at that.
I could have even just walked out of the café without saying a word.
I find I could have done a lot of things differently with not just this moment, but with every moment in my life, so why did I choose to do so to begin with … would the world really be a different place if I hadn't? In any case I sighed heavily and scowled at the menu over head, "If I had wanted anything on this menu of yours I would have asked for it, but since I didn't that means I don't want anything. If I had to explain this to you, you must be a little slow. Not the brightest crayon in a coloring box are we?"
She stared at me with wide-eyes and an agape mouth while her knuckles found themselves on her hip as she snaked her head from side to side and asked insidiously, "Excuse me …"
"No, excuse me … I'll take myself out." I slid off the stool and headed for the exit.
Yet upon my leave I heard the waitress scoff and growl under her breath, "Bitch." In following, the menu over her head exploded and fell to the ground.
She screamed and I smirked in amusement … Robin doesn't have to know I tend to be a bad-girl when I feel like it, it helps the demon in me relax when it's given a chance to express itself violently. Besides that, the waitress had a point; I was what most would considered a real Bitch … and an Icy one to boot.
The wind blew and I felt the cold beginning of Halloween seep through my black turtleneck sweater. It did little to falter my step under the pitch-black sky that blended well with the equally dark skyscrapers all daring to pierce the heavens. I let my eyes fall from the sky as it always did towards the ground to lose myself within the dark morbid thoughts that dwell in a place I call Nevermore.
However, I really couldn't determine if I should use the word 'morbid' when describing what is to be known as my mental-state. No, you defiantly don't want to be using the term 'morbid', it implied there was a deeper sense of disturbance within my psyche. And for the lack of a better definition I was already 'fucked up' enough as it is. No need to give the general masses a reason to crucify me. I was supposed to be innocent, a hero, an icon of all-that-is-good, the proper role-model, like Robin … I closed my eyes and scoffed then ran my fingers through my violet hair as I sighed in annoyance.
That name … it just refused to leave me …
Or rather, his masked eyes that I've never had the pleasure of seeing for myself, yet knew the color, shape, size, and depth in great detail. Granted they were beautiful, captivating, even innocent, but it's not what made him interesting, no, it was the mask. So plain, so simple, but affective and lingering, the irony is that for something that conceals so much can also be able to reveal and bear everything to the world. Not of the person wearing it, no, but of the person staring back – or whoever found the courage to stare back – I had the courage. I just don't know how much of my soul I gave away to prove that nothing could phase me.
It was white with a black trim, a pure heart with a mysterious dark edge, part of the many unknown reasons to why Robin the Boy-Wonder wore a mask of black and white that I have come up with. Making him seem far more untouchable, inhuman than he really was … maybe I was just thinking too deep, I tend to do it a lot, but the real tricky part to this whole thought process wasn't just his mask.
It was whohe reminded me of when ever I delved into the random thought that had to deal with my frie – leader …
The black and white, usually meaning cut and dry with no exceptions.
However … add in a little red … and the perspectives of just a black and white mask can vary if you think about it.
Robin, black and white, he saw things as straight and too the point as possible.
Where as certain others took detours, checked out the sights along the narrow strip of road he traveled on … like … Red X for instance … he couldn't be defined as cut and dry … I knew it … somehow. There was something there, something … something unknown that wasn't at all an emotional relation … but an edge that I had missed when I had reached out to grasp it. Whenever we meet on the battlefield … I could feel it there, that edge just out of my reach, but within my sights … I wanted to touch it. To understand what kept him sane enough to determine right from wrong … to, for one time, become him. To be free of all responsibilities and shame must be exhilarating … I just had to see that edge …
That edge … the edge …
What edge was there?
What the hell was I thinking to bring up Red X to begin with again?
I stopped dead in my tracks and reopened my eyes to find my peripheral vision captured something interesting towards my left, across the street, another living-being in the early morning hours. Wide awake and out and about like me … however, he was more aloof, nonchalant. Just standing there, with his back to some lamppost, the light shining on him, his messy bangs covered over his eyes so I couldn't really tell what he looked like. Only that he was tall, tanned, and lean built, even if it was covered under a hooded jacket I could tell he was in shape just by his posture. I've been around Robin, Speedy, and Aqualad long enough to tell the difference.
Yet, besides his looks, he was just leaning there, looking like he held no purpose at all … kind of like how I was walking the city with no purpose as well. Curious to what he was doing out, yet knowledgeable enough to leave it alone. I stuffed my hands into my pocket and continued down the street. I ignored the young man completely, never realizing he had lifted up his head and watched me with an eerie grin.
What he was thinking, and his intentions, were lost to me as I kicked a pebble in the middle of the sidewalk and sighed when my thoughts once again unconsciously drifted back to Robin. This time, however, there was another that had come to mind: his girlfriend, Starfire, my teammate, and best – … well, she was my teammate that was all that was needed to know. Other than her jaw-dropping, show-stopping, and heart-melting personality and beauty, Starfire was the very epitome of perfection.
While Robin's mask reminded me of Red X, Starfire reminded me of Blackfire, her sister, who was the total polar opposite of the redhead.
Starfire and Robin
Red X and Blackfire
I scoffed, What a happy double wedding that'll be … I can already see the family reunions … sarcastic as ever I took a deep breath and … held it in when I froze stalk still again.
The aura … the air around me … it changed; shifted … I was being followed.
On instinct I slowly turned around to see if there was anyone behind me, and there was, it was the young-man from across the street, only this time around he was standing before me. The streetlight to his back made it hard for me to fully make out his face … but I knew he was amused, I read his aura like an open book.
He was amused … and he was excited.
Two combinations added with the still of the night, a lone unpopulated street, and no back-up on my part – I had left my T-Com in my room – I never brought it since I started these nightly strolls. Now you can just imagine me kicking myself for my stupidity … but I wasn't about to panic. I straightened up, discreetly tensing for a fight if there was one to come. Still holding my breath I slowly released it when his smooth, dark, charismatic, and rather playful tone of voice sliced the silent night to ensnarl my ears and I listened closely to his every word.
No matter how cheeky he may have sounded.
"One is a lonely number."
I arched a brow and scowled, "Well two's a crowd, what do you want?"
He shrugged, and I tilted my head at an angle to see if I could try and make out his face from the shadows at a different angle, but he was in the perfect position to obscure my vision. The mystery-man chuckled, "What? No small talk? It's not like I can bite hard enough for a Titan to bleed."
I didn't know whether or not to take it as a threat so I proceeded with caution and so far he wasn't showing any signs of aggression, "I don't make it a habit of beating around the bush … so I'll ask again, what do you want?"
"I've seen you around here more times than I bother to count … and, well, you don't necessarily do anything here to suggest you have connections to the area," he was getting to a point, but I just wish he'd get there faster, as much as everyone in the world may have thought I had patience. The truth was, I had the shortest patience next to Robin and that was saying something, considering he can lose his cool in a snap of a finger or on good days, the right words spouted from Slade.
Slade … that name only made me even more suspicious of the guy in front of me, I was naturally untrusting, but when certain thoughts popped into my head untrusting turned into paranoia in less than a fraction of a nano-second. I narrowed my eyes and took a step back to help me further assess the situation, "So you're stalking me … want a metal?"
He took a step forward, away from the light and closer into my view point, finally giving me the chance to make out the outline of his rather handsome features. I won't lie; he did look like he had all the physical qualities a girl could go for … although details were still obscured. All I was seeing was an outline and I was beginning to get the distinct feeling this guy didn't want me to know who he was, even his tone mocked me, "Look, I'm just here because I'm here, I'm not threatening your life or anything. Just being a Good Samaritan."
"Good Samaritan?" I repeated with a sneer, something about those two words just set me off, and he knew it because he shifted his stance to prepare himself for a rant. Which, I will admit, he didn't deserve, but for some reason I just wasn't feeling myself tonight, I knew it the moment I snapped back at the waitress for calling me a bitch. This would be the same thing, but preparing for it wasn't necessary, I had more self-control than that. It was something I prided myself in, so I mentally turned the other cheek, while outwardly I scoffed and rolled my eyes, "Well take it somewhere else, where some other damsel in distress who really needs it will care, because I frankly don't."
I gritted my teeth, he was testing my patience.
Above and behind him the light bulb to the streetlamp shattered, drenching the both of us in darkness around that one particular area. I huffed and spun on my heel to march away from the man I know was probably in a state of utter shock considering my attitude. After all I was a 'hero' … and a hero wouldn't hurt a fly that is of course unless the fly had plans for world domination.
Then it was a different story all together.
"You know …" I rolled my eyes, he was still talking, but at least he wasn't following me, "… for a Titan you're not very observant."
I had to stop and turn back around to glare at the cheeky bastard who dared to goad me, and damn it all, it was working. I was probably – out of the pick of Beast Boy, Cyborg, and Starfire – the next most observant person close to Robin. If not with the added advantage with my powers, so I knew he wanted to keep me here for something. I stood up straight and dared the guy to try anything funny with me, "For a human, you're not so smart. If berating me is all you're here for than I suggest you quit while you still have a head."
"Come on … why can't we be friends?" He snickered, "As far as I know, Chuckles is the uptight one in your little group … I was hoping you'd be a little different. After all, what kind of heroic titan actually snaps back at a citizen of her fair city when for all you know I could just be someone looking for help or maybe a fan asking for an autograph, sounds to me like you need a vacation."
Hold the phone …
I narrowed my eyes and when the guy turned to leave me I erected a black shield to stop him and forced him to turn back around and face me … but when he did a reflection of light bounced off his amber-gold eyes that stared at me. Not in fear, hesitation, resentment or nervousness … but his amusement and excitement seemed to intensify and I wasn't quite sure if confronting him was a good idea. After all, if my sudden assumptions were right, he was good enough to be put second on Robin's Most Wanted List under Slade. It wasn't only because he had a personal vendetta for the two, but when they talk shit they can usually back it up.
Slade, I knew talked a lotof shit, but Red X – possibly the guy standing in front of me – was a narcissistic villain that seemed to have no fear whatsoever. He gave Robin a run for his money when it came to the risk-factor, because Red X not only gambled with his existence, he gambled with everything that made the world hold its breath. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that Red X was a single entity, free from all responsibilities about taking care of a team. Robin had a team of friends to look out for that held him back and kept his head straight when he wasn't thinking rationally.
Red X had none of that sort of discipline, he loved attention and where most would find his charm appealing, if not amusing, it annoyed me to no end.
"What's your edge," I demanded headstrong with a tone that could freeze any man's heart … but Red X wasn't just any man I now come to conclude.
He chuckled and his golden eyes gleamed tauntingly under the light of the lamppost across the street. He then closed them and turned his back on me, "No edge sunshine, just being a friend to talk to for the night, but since you seem to be in a mood … I'll take your advice and go …"
I arched a brow and dropped my barrier – I don't know why – he began to walk, but I couldn't help to voice my concerns, "If you are who I think you are … there is a possibility –"
"You can throw me in prison?" He finished my sentence with a snicker, "For one thing, I never said anything, for another, you can't prove my existence even if you tried. Unless you're feeling lucky tonight … think you can take me?"
I think I'm beginning to understand why Robin can't stand him much, I thought with an irritated sneer as I crossed my arms over my chest and with a dismissive gesture of my hand I replied, "I was actually going to say there's a possibility that you might be slightly psychotic, possessing a delusional sense of grandeur and you should check yourself into Arkham before you lose all sense of reality. I hear the Joker is an interesting neighbor."
"Oh really?" He retorted with an equal amount of sarcasm dripping from every word, "Well, that's good to know; I'll make a call as soon as I have a slightly-psychotic breakdown."
"Jackass," it slipped, I don't usually cuss, but this guy was pushing the wrong buttons. I sighed, bit down on my lower lip and bowed my head … the guy I thought was Red X, still didn't leave … he just stood with his back to me. Taunting me, daring me to make a move, I know it's what he wants, but I will not give him the satisfaction, so I smoothed back my violet hair and turned my back to leave him again
Robin, I knew if he knew about this little encounter would be up in arms about the whole ordeal.
He'd be getting on my case and asking me why I hadn't done everything within my power to lock this guy away … and for what? This guy – if he is Red X – was right … I have nothing to go on … it would be a total dead-end, and a waste of time when it turns out he's just another nut looking to screw with my head. Even if I knew for a fact he was the real Red X, I have a little talent for detecting auras, but that wasn't the point. In fact, there was no point in continuing the charade, and no point in getting a headache over the whole thing either.
Why the Red X had bothered me to begin with, I don't know, if anything he just wanted to see what I'd do. Knowing this 'villain' and considering he was the conceited-sort with the high possibility of a slightly psychotic personality – I meant it when I said he should get himself checked in – he'll do anything that amuses himself if he knows the amusement is worth it.
Therefore: everything he did for his own amusement he considered worth it.
Life was like a big game to him, he was nothing like Robin, nothing like Slade, he wasn't even close to being a Hive Member or an associate of the Brotherhood of Evil … he was –
"You're something else …"
Is he following me? I stopped in mid-step and turned around to discover that, yes, he was following me. Only I was now under a working streetlight, and he stood there with me, I could clearly see what he looked like and he looked no older then 20-something. 25 would be pushing it, but he was pretty young, older than me, but still young. Not only that, but I was right about his physical build and posture, very similar to Robin's and Speedy's. Other than that he was an average good-looking-joe with his own sense of flare.
He didn't impress me, but it did make me narrow my eyes, "Well … now I know what stupid looks like."
He cracked a smile and started laughing, "Damn, you're funny … I like funny."
"And you're an idiot, I don't like idiots."
"Well, you're gonna learn to love this idiot, come on, walk with me," he still continued to chuckle to himself as he walked right by me in the same direction I was headed, only, now he expected me to follow him? What kind of stupid did he take me for? Really, now I was curious to what drug he was on, probably an upper considering he was able to take out an entire fleet of Titan Villains in one shot.
Hell no was I following him, my feet were planted firmly on the ground as he glanced back to look at me, his smile only turned into a sneaky smirk, "Aw, come on, do you really think I got something diabolical planned up my sleeve?"
"No, but like I'll take that chance."
"We're strangers, I don't know you, and you don't know me, I got no reason to screw you over."
"My mother taught me to never speak to strangers."
"But you're still here aren't you?"
I scowled and stubbornly crossed my arms over my chest, "We can go at this all night, but we both know where it's going to end … I'm going to walk away, you're going to do the same, and we're never going to meet again. I'll even give you a demonstration."
Without hesitation I levitated about an inch off the ground and threw myself back into the darkness where I disappeared within the shadows before his very eyes. Only, when I reappeared I was atop the roof of the building we were standing next to, looking down at him and watching as he reached up a hand to run through his hair. He then shook his head and trudged on like a lonely idiot.
I snorted, The moron … what the hell was he thinking? I sucked in a deep breath and looked towards the bay as a harsh cold wind blew my way from the ocean. In the distance I could make out the giant T-shaped tower and a frown graced my lips when I realized that I'd have to go back.
Why did I feel so disappointed at that fact?
Titan Tower was my home.
It was where the people that loved me lived, where I learned the importance of life and the importance of how precious it was for me to protect it. To do everything there was physically and mentally possible to defend the people of this world from evil. It all made sense; it made perfect sense … at one point in time anyway. Now … now I was sick of it. I sucked in a deep breath and exhaled it in a frustrated huff as I brought a hand up to run it through my violet hair. Only, I didn't stop there, I grabbed a fist full of it and pulled, pulled hard, to the point where I was gritting my teeth and my brain was telling my hand to let go.
Pain, pain was the only way for me to learn, to teach myself that this was wrong, thinking like this was wrong!
I am a hero!
It's my job to defend those that don't have to the power to defend themselves.
It was my place in the world, and everything had its place.
I will not destroy fate and destiny's design.
I will obey … it's all I'm good at, It's all I'm good at … Slowly, I let my hair go and let my arm drop to my side as my head bowed, with another deep breath, I gulped and slowly exhaled. It was time for me to return to the tower and live my life in my place. I hovered a foot off the ground and got ready to fly there, but just as I rose another foot I heard a loud clang of the nearby fire-escape to the roof of this building. I saw a hand come up over the edge and soon enough familiar amber eyes glowing in the night-air looked at me. He smirked, and I scowled, "I don't know whether to call you persistent or stupid, do you have a death wish?"
He chuckled and gracefully leapt to stand on the roof with me dusting his hands as he casually strolled to my side that grin of his ever present as he leaned on the cement rail and looked out to Titan Tower. I gently lowered myself to the Earth as he turned to look up at me with a smirk, "I've been wanting to die since I was born."
I arched a brow, what an odd thing to say, I blinked than rolled my eyes, "That's impossible, when you're born you're a blank slate, unless Daddy or Uncle Dave diddled you, Death would be the last thing on your mind."
He suddenly burst out laughing when he said, "Diddled me? Nice … wouldn't have looked at it that way, but no, seriously, my mom told me that I was born with my umbilical-cord wrapped around my neck. She said it was because I wouldn't keep still when I was inside of her, I always got myself into trouble you know … guess I was born to die."
I couldn't help to roll my eyes, "We all are born to die … it's our ultimate fate … it's why we're alive, we're alive because we have to die. It's our purpose in life."
"Wow …" he chuckled and pushed off the rail to stand a good head taller than me to stare at me with his pretty-gold eyes and say with a smirk on his face, "That's a fucked up way of looking at it … you always this depressing?"
I was getting impatient, I slapped a hand on the rail and leaned on one leg while glaring up at the cheeky thief, "Is there a point to all this? What do you want?"
He shrugged and leaned on the rail again to stare at the Tower, "Nothing, just to talk ya know … I have nothing better to do and you look like you got a lot on your mind, so I figured let's call a truce for the night and be human, waddaya say?"
No way … no way was he being serious.
I stood there staring at him with narrowed eyes for I don't know how long, but my silence must have concerned him so he glanced at me through the corner of his eye and then arched an inquiring brow. Probably wondering what was going through my mind at the moment, and I have to say a lot was going through my mind … the one thing that kept popping up was the possibility that he had this all planned out. The timing … it was too perfect … and plus he said himself that he's seen me more than once. Does that mean he's been tagging me? Keeping an eye on me?
Does he live in this neighborhood?
It was all too sketchy …
"So …" I blinked and looked up when he turned his back on the tower to lean back on the rail with his elbows propped on it a cowlick of his messy hair fell over his face and he jerked it to the side as he smirked handsomely and asked, "… what's your favorite color?"
I blinked again and reeled my head back slightly in confusion, "What kind of question is that?"
"A good one …"
"Okaay … and why would you want to know my favorite color?"
"To get the talking started … you don't seem to be going anywhere, so until you've reached the conclusion on whether or not to really leave me this time around … what's your favorite color?"
I sneered, "What do you mean really leave you; I left you in the street you're the one following me."
He shrugged nonchalantly, "Yeah, but you didn't go back to home base," he emphasized his point by jerking his head back to the Tower, "Which tells me that you either don't want to go back, or imma have to circle the block to make sure you're not tailing me back home, because it's not everyday I present myself to a rival."
"Then why now?"
"Didn't we just go over that?"
"But that doesn't make any sense … you don't gain anything by just talking to me unless you want inside information."
He pushed off the rail and I backed up thinking there was going to be a fight when he growled, "Jesus Christ, do you treat every guy you've ever come in contact with, with the same kind of suspicion?"
"Especially the ones who aren't trustworthy to begin with, yes."
"You're sad …"
"You heard me," he snorted and shook his head before he once again fell against the real to lean on it, crossing one leg over the other and lazily sighed heavily, "I don't know who screwed you over, but all I want to know is your favorite color, like I'm really going to unlock the secrets to the rest of the Titans weaknesses with that kind of information … don't be stupid."
Unbelievable … I scowled, "You're the one coming to me for a little chit-chat and you're calling me stupid."
He narrowed his amber eyes at me, "I didn't call you stupid, I said don't be, there's a difference …"
The sheer impudence of this jackass to imply that I was being stupid was not just insulting, it was ludicrous! I could barely believe he had – for the lack of a better phrase – the balls to say to my face that I was being stupid! What gave him the right? What gave him the courage to do so … then it came to me … that edge. I can see it now, buried in his golden eyes, deep in the darkest depths of his damned-soul, hidden within the slightly rotten core of his cob-webbed heart, the edge that I wanted to have. To see for myself how life was like on his side … through his eyes … through his heart … for someone to be as ostentatious as he was took more than courage and recklessness.
I bit down on my lower lip when he blinked and looked away from me to stare up into the black sky … and I took a deep breath before I bowed my head to glare at the cemented ground in order to softly whisper, "Blue …"
He blinked and looked back down at me, "Huh?"
I finally looked up at him as I walked closer to him to stand beside him and lean on the same rail to stare at Titan Tower, home-base as he so eloquently put it, What Robin doesn't know won't hurt him, I thought just before repeating myself, "Blue … my favorite color is blue …"
He stared at me for a moment longer and smirked, "I knew it."
"So what's yours?"
That smirk of his only widened into a cocky grin, "Red."
I rolled my eyes, "Figures."
"Nah, I'm just messin' witcha, it's actually brown … my favorite color is brown."
"Am I suppose to ask why now?"
"Only if you want to."
"It's a nice neutral color ya know, and plus when you get dirty you don't see it as easily as all the other colors."
Much to my surprise this is how the rest of the conversation took place.
Silly, irrelevant topics, nothing too deep or too soul-searching, just quick back and forths, he'd ask a question, I'd answer it, I'd ask a question, he'd answer it and I was also surprised to find that most of his answers were truthful and honest. Nothing about why I was always out and about instead of in the Tower with the rest of my friends enjoying their company. In turn I never asked any of the true questions Robin would have … like … his name … where he lived … what he does … and what he's up to.
Questions I should have asked, but didn't.
I can't say we enjoyed each other's company though … at least I knew I didn't … he still made me nervous and I know I made him uncomfortable when the topic of my ability to read other's minds came into play. I reassured him it's not something I can just turn on at will, and it took a lot of meditation to stay linked to a person's mind, but I noticed his aura still waiver suspiciously. I left him to his meanders about my powers, better to keep him guessing than to have him know every little thing about me.
Rarely, did we share a laugh, well, the term laugh was probably too strong, but we didn't find the same thing amusing at once.
He'd say something and snicker to himself about it.
I'd say something and find myself catching a tiny smile that crept at the corner of my lips.
All in all, we talked till the sun came up, literally … I don't know how I did it without feeling guilty throughout the entire conversation, but I did. I stood here, on the roof of this random building and spoke to Red X in the flesh with no mask and no suit and no force. Just casually spoke to him like two people waiting to board their flight, knowing that once we went our separate ways we'd never again care to meet again. The thought of each other would flutter away with the wind, just like all the nonsense that we've spoke of.
That's what I thought it was going to be like when I found myself sitting on the cement rail with the sleeves of my turtleneck pushed up to my elbows. X had taken off his hoodie to hang on the rail while he now stood in his wrinkled brown t-shirt and dark blue jeans, he shook his head and rubbed the sleep from his eyes as he grinned up at me and gestured to the Tower. I knew what he'd asked before he asked it, but what I didn't know was that he'd ask me to allow him to drive me back to the Tower on his X-bike.
I had the right of mind to say no.
It was dangerous enough I had associated myself with him, but to risk the other's knowing who I was with for the remainder of the night would be suicide.
Yet, I found myself not caring in the least … the way I saw it, if I already broke the vase playing catch in the house I might as well keep playing since the vase was already broken. So I accepted and now here I was standing at the pier with X beside me (he had cloaked his bike when he parked it at the docks) staring at the Tower which was not too far for me to fly to from here. I stared at it long and hard, so many thoughts running through my mind, so many questions, so many of everything cramming itself into my head all at once that it nearly made me dizzy just looking at the symbol of justice and hope.
I had to look away, to look down at the chaotic sea and catch my breath.
Why, why was I finding it so hard, night after night, to go back to the Tower?
What had changed?
I would have gone on to question my existence, but a little nudge from X caught my attention, I straightened up and looked up at him noticing his golden eyes now clearly visible in the crisp of dawn staring at me in concern. The question he was dying to ask burning at the back of his throat, but knowing that it had become an unwritten rule through the night to ask what the matter was if anything was bothering the other. He didn't voice it, but I could feel it and so I cleared my throat and shook my head, "It's been fun …"
He tilted his head and stared at the Tower, "Yeah … will I be seeing you in the neighborhood again?"
I frowned, that wasn't what he wanted to know, "… What are you asking me?"
He shrugged, "If I'll be seeing you in the neighborhood again … it's an honest question."
Well, if it was an honest question, my honest answer now knowing where he resides was, "Probably not."
"Too bad …" he snickered and smoothed back his messy hair when the wind blew it in his face.
I decided to finally end it, "Bye, X."
"Yep …" he turned his back on me and with a two finger salute he walked out of my life.
I levitated in the air and pushed myself to the Tower, never knowing that this would most certainly not be the last time I'll see the thief.
No matter how hard I tried to put it out of my mind.
I somehow knew, I couldn't stay away …
A/N: Alrighty then, first chapter down, and as usual I would very much like for you to review and tell me watcha think, if you got any questions feel free to ask alright I don't bite … not hard enough to hurt you anyway. Lol, nah, j/k, feedback needed plz, and I'll catcha in the next chapter.