A/N: I guys! This is pretty silly, so I hope you like that kind of thing. If not..hey, give it a chance! Thanks, I hope you enjoy :)

Disclaimer: Neither I nor my co-writing friend tinytokirabbit7 own Harry Potter and will not pretend to.

Chapter 1: Shut up, Marauders.

*Remus is alone in a corridor, surprisingly the most quiet place he could find in the whole castle. He's sitting, very peacefully. James, Sirius, and Peter are off somewhere...probably being idiots.*

Remus: Ah. Sweet silence.

*Sirius pops up, like he always must when Remus is enjoying his privacy.*

Sirius: I'm bored.

Remus: Of course you are. Go bother Prongs.

*Sirius plops himself down next to Remus.*

Sirius: Lily.

Remus: Peter?

Sirius: Cheese.

Remus: Snape?

Sirius: ...All right. *leaves*

Remus: Thank Merlin...

*A few moments later*


*A loud commotion is heard, Sirius obviously picking on Snape horribly. A second later –*

Snape: Sectumsempra! *Sirius falls, bleeding. Remus goes to check. By the time he gets there, Snape has fled the scene.*

Remus: Sirius? Oh–

James: I just saw Snape run away from here, what – bloody hell, Padfoot. You're a mess!

Sirius: *faintly* Worse than Wormy's underpants?

James: Worse than his entire underwear drawer on the floor with Snape's hair.

Sirius: Bloody hell!

James: *trying to carry him to the hospital wing* Dammit Paddy, you're heavy. Moony help me!

Remus: The hospital wing is RIGHT there.

James: ...Shut up.

*James and Remus drag Sirius into the hospital wing.*

Madame Pomfrey: Oh my – WHAT HAPPENED?

Sirius: Severus Snape used illegal Dark magic on me, expel him!

Remus: Maybe if you weren't such a bastard all the time...

Sirius: What?

Remus: What?

*A few hours later, the Marauders back in an empty corridor-*

Sirius: What was that earlier about me being a bastard?

Remus: Nothing.

Sirius: ...You suck.

Remus: Bite me.

Sirius: You know what? All right. *transforms into Animagus form* Ruff, ruff.

Remus: *a little scared at the fact that someone could have seen the transformation* …

James: Two can play at that game. *transforms into stag*

Remus: …

Peter: I want to be more included. *transforms into rat*

Sirius: *transforms back* This is no fun if everyone's doing it.

Remus: Cough. You're all idiots. Cough.

Sirius: Hey – would I be a bad friend if I said sometimes I wanted to eat Peter when he's a rat? I mean, it's instinct, so...

Remus: Well I don't know what you think when you're in animal form, but he'd have too many calories.

Sirius: Well, I like sugary food. So do you, what with all that chocolate–

Remus: Shut up. I meant –

Sirius: No, you shut up!

Remus: …

Sirius: Go on.

Remus: ...I meant because he's...him.

Sirius: Ah. Well, shut up anyway.

Remus: …

James: *transforming back* No, you shut up, Sirius.

Sirius: Did you just tell me to shut up?

James: I did. Shut up.

Sirius: No..you shut up!

James: I think you should shut up.

Sirius: Why don't YOU shut up!

Remus: Are we.. are we really doing this?

Sirius and James: SHUT UP!

Sirius: I'M telling him to shut up!

James: I told him to shut up before you did!

Sirius: Shut up!

James: Shut up!

Sirius: Shut up!

James: Shut UP!

Remus: Really?

Sirius: SHUT UP!




Sirius: SHUT UP!

Sirius and James: SHUT. UP.

Peter: *back into a human* Shut up!

Sirius: Don't you EVER tell me to shut up, Peter!

James: So then why don't you shut up so he doesn't have to tell you to shut up!

Sirius: I think you should shut up before you start talking about Lily or something!

James: I think you should just shut up!

Sirius: Well, I think –


Sirius and James: …

Sirius: I think James should shut up.

James: Shut up.

Sirius: Shut up, Prongs.

McGonagall: *from the end of the corridor* Boys, I can hear you from the third floor. Be quiet.

Remus: That's a nicer way to say it...

Sirius: Well, at least she didn't tell you to shut up, like you should.

James: Merlin, shut up!

Sirius: No.

James: Shut – what?


Sirius and James: …

Remus: Nice...very nice...

Sirius and James: *glaring at each other and mouthing silently "I think you should shut up."*

A/N: Yes? No? Review.