A/N: Er...don't ask why Snape was in the Gryffindor common room. Bad planning.
Chapter 9: Game Night!
The boys are in their dorm, playing a certain game...a certain Muggle game...
James: We have to think about this...
James: But seriously –
Sirius: The Sirius is not being payed to think.
James: *mumble* I can't believe you... *hands over nine sickles*
Sirius: I was hoping for more...
James: *shoots glare*
Sirius: Right then! Let's see...
James: We know it was Moony.
Sirius: In the Potions dungeon..
James: With the candlestick!
*slap each other 5*
Sirius: We OWNED you, Moony.
Remus: That isn't fair. There are two of you!
James: You've got Wormtail.
Remus: He ate his game piece!
Sirius: Does sissy sore looser little Moonykins want a rematch?
Lily: Why are you guys playing Clue? You know it's just a Muggle game you're forced to play during family fun time.
Sirius: We ARE having fun! You know you just want to be a part of OUR family!
James: Our family?
Sirius: Shut up.
Lily: Well, no. I had a bad experience with Clue once, my sister tricked me into almost swallowing one of the pieces.
Sirius: Nice. Peter just did that.
James: Do you need a hug to make you feel better?
Sirius: I WANNA HUG YOU. *hugs Lily*
James: *enfuriated* ...
Lily: You know what...enjoy your Clue. I'm gonna go play Scrabble. *leaves*
Remus: I'm going with Lily. *follows*
Sirius: Fine, join the spoilsport!
Peter: Maybe if I eat some Scrabble tiles, I'll get smarterer! *follows*
James: I'm..yeah. *leaves*
Sirius: … *leaves also*
*In the common room...*
*a few minutes into watching*
Sirius: Prongs, what does indigenous mean?
James: I've never seen Scrabble with so many big words before...
Remus: You've never seen Muggle Scrabble before at all.
Peter: *eats piece* Ooh, I think I'm smarter!
Lily: That's revolting.
*a few minutes later*
Sirius: Why have I yet to see 'Siriusisawesome' on the game board?
James: *flicks wand behind Remus' and Lily's backs* There.
James: Right, sorry. *flicks wand again so it says IloveLilyEvans*
Lily: And I came down to play Scrabble to avoid you idiots...
Remus: You know James feels obligated to be next to you if he's within a 50 foot radius...and that is definitely not how you spell 'desensitized!'
Lily: Yes it is!
Remus: No, it's not.
Lily: Yes, it is.
Remus: No, it's not!
Lily: It is!
Remus: NO it is NOT!
Lily: YES it IS!
James: I think it's spelled right, Moony.
Sirius: Right. Take her side.
Remus: That's my line. *stiffly*
Sirius: Well, I already said it.
Peter: I ate so many pieces, I AM smarter! *looks down* Yeah, that's not how you spell 'desensitized,' Remus is right, Lily.
Remus: You're pointing to the scoreboard.
Lily: Maybe I shouldn't've even started playing Scrabble...
Sirius: There's always Clue.
Lily: Like I'm going up into your dorm.
Remus: Lily, that's not how you spell –
Lily: Shut up, Remus.
Sirius: Actually, Lily's right this time.
Lily: You believe him?
Remus: They're both actually smarter than me, it's pretty sad.
Sirius: Yep yep, we're better! HIGH FIVE, PRONGS, WE'RE SMARTER THAN REMUS!
James: *high five*
Remus: ...They just act like idiots.
Lily: Whatever. I am going to play Solitaire, where no one can intrude.
Remus: Guess you WOULD be able to win at that seeing as there's no spelling involved.
Lily: Was that a challenge, Lupin?
Remus: Right here. Right now. Spelling showdown. First one to misspell any word loses.
Lily: Deal! *hand shake*
James: We're rubbing off on him.
Sirius: It's kind of scary, but entertaining. And a little proud, too.
Peter: FIRST WORD: DOUGHNUT.
Remus: Wait, American or British spelling?
Sirius: Oh, Remus, you just got pwned.
Remus: Are we in America now? I thought we were English!
James: Of course we are, otherwise we wouldn't have so many fangirls pining after our accents.
Sirius: Anyway, Remus, you failed to answer the question, so Lillers is winning.
Sirius: Spell Lillers.
Lily: I can't spell that, it's not a word!
James: Sirius declared it a new word last year and wrote it down in a few places.
Sirius: It's a tie!
James: Spell... Onomatopoeia.
Sirius: You can spell... that but not doughnut or Lillers?
Remus: Next word!
Sirius: Fine! Your next word is.. Cranky.
Remus: I AM NOT!
James: Advantage, Lily.
Lily: No, I will not go out with you! Next word!
Sirius: Score three for Moony.
Lily: That isn't fair!
Sirius: Sirius says it's fair, so it's fair.
Sirius: Shut up, Peter, I got this!
Lily: Keep them coming!
James: Um... Calculators.
Sirius: What's that?
James: I dunno, I'm looking through Remus' Muggle Studies book.
Lily: Ugh, these aren't hard. C-A-
Sirius: Oho, Lillers might want to hurry it up!
Sirius: The hottest girl in the year's name –
Sirius: ...according to Remus.
Remus: WHY DOES THAT KEEP COMING UP?
Sirius: Looks like their tied!
Peter: No, they're not...
James: Incarcerous! Now, they're both literally and figuratively tied.
Peter: Oh, I get it!
Remus: What the hell, James!
Lily: Yeah, this REALLY makes me reconsider accepting your date offer!
Remus: So you were going to say yes?
Sirius: She wants you.
James: Yes, and that is why I shall be her prince in shining armour!
James: Er... princes can wear armour too! Diffindo! There, my love! I have valiantly and gallantly released you from your horrid prison like the Gryffindor that I am...that you love!
Remus: YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TIED US UP IN THE FIRST PLACE!
Sirius: Merlin, Remus must you question everything?
Remus: Release me.
Sirius: She ran away because she was blushing profusely because we all just found out that she luuurves Prongsie...though we really sort of knew already.
Peter: I'LL DO IT, REMUS! DIFFINDO! AAAHHHH–! *gets blasted backwards*
Remus: How did he ever succeed in transforming into an Animagus?
Sirius: IT'S A MYSTERY! ALL RIGHT GANG, LET'S SPLIT UP!
James: I'll go this way.. with Lily.
Sirius: I'll go this other way with MARY! *nudges Remus*
Remus: I can't go anywhere because I'm bloody TIED UP!
Sirius: Then, you and Scooby stay here. NOW, ONWARD! *trips* What is this? A clue? It seems to be an adorable fluffy pink kitten!
James: Wait, there's writing on its forehead!
Sirius+James: (reading) The answer to every question on the N.E.W.T.s is.. 563?
Sirius: Look, Prongs! I've found this large school trunk next to the kitten!
James: But...that could only mean one thing!
Sirius: yes! the real culprit is.. *pulls off mask* Rem–
Sirius+James+Remus: ARTHUR WEASLEY?
Arthur Weasley?: Hello, Remus, Sirius, James. Yes, I'm in Hogwarts despite having graduated years ago and not knowing who any of you are! I've found this lovely rubber mask lying around the castle! Isn't it fascinating? Muggles use these as cheap disguises! And –
Sirius: *shoves out door*
Remus: You shouldn't have done that, he already has a few kids. What the hell was he doing here anyway?
Sirius: Being a culprit in the mysterious...Peter-becoming-an-Animagus Mystery.
Lily: You guys are stupid.
Sirius: Shut up, Daphne. Wait, when did you come back?
Remus: You've never seen Scooby Doo a day in your life!
James: Still got the Muggle Studies book, Remus.
Remus: BECAUSE THAT'S THE ONE YOU DIDN'T TURN INTO A BLOODY KITTEN, RIGHT?
Sirius: For the last time! That was a kitten! Not a book!
Remus: AAAAHH! LET ME GO! I HATE YOU GUYS SO MUCH!
Snape: I hate them too.
James: What the hell is he doing here?
Lily: I invited him.
Sirius: ...because you wanted someone to hide behind in case you accidentally reveal your completely obvious love for Prongs and he was the only one who would do it, right?
Lily: Shut. Up. Black.
Sirius: No, you shut up. I'll never listen to you, Daphne. You're always getting kidnapped.
Sirius: SHUT UP, SHAGGY!
James: I'd like to be miscellaneous person one, because everyone in Scooby Doo is too un-awesome for my standards.
Sirius: Deal. And I don't want to be Fred, he's too...blonde.
James: It can be Snivelly, because, you know, he sucks and all.
James+Sirius: *simultaneously hex him*
Lily: *looks on* I should probably...nah, I don't care.
Sirius: And why is that?
Lily: Because I love J– UGH!
Remus: What was that again, Daph– er, Liiiily?
Sirius: When did Moony decide to be a tease?
Remus: when I decided that if I play along then you guys might release me and TURN THAT BLOODY KITTEN BACK INTO WHATEVER TEXTBOOK IT WAS!
James: Doth mine ears hear denial, maiden Remus?
Lily: Only the fluttering of my heart... ER–
Sirius: Doth mine ears hear a declaration of love for mine best mate?
Lily: Nooo! Go away, Black!
James: Er...Padfoot, why don't you go.. do your homework or steal more of Moony's stuff or something?
Sirius: But I've already taken sixty-seven percent of his chocolate AND done my homework!
James: Then go update your girl book or something! *releases Remus too* You too, Moony, go!
Sirius: (from hallway) HEY LOOK IVE FOUND SNIVELLUS' DIARY! WHO WANTS TO SEE ME TURN IT INTO AN ADORABLE PUPPY?
Snape: BLAAAACK! *runs out*
Peter: Oh look, he dropped some food.. I bet he has more in his coat and will drop it while Sirius inevitably hexes him! *scampers away*
James: Well, I cleared the room for you anyway.
Lily: Er, yeah. Thanks.
James: No problem. *smile*
James: Well, I better get going -
Lily: Hey wait –
Lily: .. Uh, well,..
Lily: Stop smiling cutely like that! AND I DONT LOVE YOU! *runs away, blushing profusely*
Sirius: *from hallway* LOOK AT THIS! "December 1st. I realized today that I am absolutely in love with Remus Lupin and I don't care who knows it."
Snape: THAT IS NOT IN THERE!
Sirius: *waves wand* Is now.
Remus: Why don't you just turn it into a bloody puppy or something else that will satisfy your cruel desires of creating animals out of nowhere.
James: *coming out of common room* What ever happened to that kitten anyway? Did it die when Remus put it back in his trunk, where it had been from the start?
Sirius: McGonagall took it in. "February 17th. I still have not been able to rid my mind of Remus Lupin. I mean, despite that one day he hid the kitten in his trunk, I will never be able to relinquish my love for him. His eyes, his hair, so soft..."
Snape: BLAAACKK! GIVE IT TO ME!
Sirius: *hexes* Remus, you should do something about him, this infatuation might get out of hand.
James: Why is everyone always in denial around here?
Sirius: Oh, my. "May 4th. Cinco de Mayo is tomorrow, I'm so excited!" No, that's boring...oho...oho!
James: You're around Slughorn too much.
Sirius: "May 7th. My love for Remus Lupin is gone. He fancies Mary MacDonald anyway, so my chances with him are like my chances with Lily. Instead, my eyes are only for that stud, that GOD – the one and only Sirius Black!"
James: Snivelly, that's just disgusting. That's more disgusting than having a kitten in your trunk. *dodges Remus' punch*
Sirius: Snape, calm down! I hate you, but I don't want you sinking to the level of fangirl!
James: You love your fangirls.
Sirius: Hm..how would Snape look with an I love Sirius Black sign and patented Sirius Black clothing? Let's find out!
Snape: DON'T– YOU– DARE!
Sirius: too late. *waves wand*
Remus: that's not Sirius Black Merchandise!
Sirius: No, it's not. I thought my talents were being wasted on mere ME merchandise, so I tried my talents elsewhere! How do you like it?
Remus: THERE IS NOTHING FUNNY ABOUT THAT– THAT–
Sirius: Hm. Seems you haven't yet grown to love my designing talents..so I MUST WIN!
Remus: YOU BLOODY BLASTED MUTT! YOU ARE SLEEPING OUTSIDE TONIGHT!
James: ...Oh my.
Sirius: Brilliant, isn't it?
James: Why are Snivellus and Moony wearing matching "RemusxSirius 4-ever" T-shirts?
Sirius: No, no, look on the back!
James: "A forbidden love...of chocolate?"
Remus+James: You're a sick dog.
Sirius: Perhaps. I've also decided to print and publish copies of Loser - The Annoying Diary Tales of Snivellus Snape, Published and Edited by Sir Sirius Black.
James: I'll buy tons of them, I'm rich.
Sirius: Thank you for the patronage, my good stag!
Snape: DON'T YOU DARE!
Sirius: Someone's been saying that an awful lot lately. Sorry, Snape, but I'm the publisher. Now, I'll just need you to sign this copyright contract...
Sirius: Good thinking, you'll just grease it up anyway. No one's probably ever seen your signature for that very reason, so I don't think we much have to worry about anyone noticing if I forge it...
James: These could be birthday presents for anyone...you think Lily would go out with me if I bought one for her?
Lily: *only there because James pretty much pulls her in like a magnet by now* I'll go out with you for any reason...I MEAN –
Sirius: Too late.
Lily: *runs away*
Sirius: So, we have books, T shirts, what else could we do to make money?
James: Mugs? Oh, I know – Jam! Because then when Lily slips it out that she loves me by saying she loves jam, she can love OUR jam!
Sirius: This is wonderful! Snape, thank you for allowing me to steal and sell your altered diary!
Remus: *still trying to pull off the RemusxSirius 4-ever T-shirt, but it's stuck there with magic*
Snape: *simply staring at James and Sirius with his usual broody loathing*
Sirius: Prongs, I don't think they like my T-shirt.
James: Why would you even think to make a shirt like that?
Sirius: For money.
Remus: But – w-what about all that money you inherited from your uncle?
Sirius: It really wasn't all that much.
Remus: More than a werewolf could ever imagine...
Sirius: Erm...well, we can share the profits.
Remus: I suppose – what was that...
James: Oh, you mean the rumbling of RemusxSirius fangirls?
Sirius: Heheh, told you we'd make a lot.
Fangirls: REMMYxSIRI LUV! SQUEEEE –
Remus: NOO! STOP LEADING THEM ON YOU MUTT!
Sirius: Six galleons each, girls.
Fangirls: *throw galleons out of their pockets before proceeding to glomp Sirius and Remus, and also Snape only because he's still wearing a RemusxSirius 4-ever T-shirt*
Lily: Hey Jamesie?
Lily: Will you grab some of those galleons and buy me some jam with it?
James: ...Of course~
James+Lily: *leave through the crowd of terrifying fangirls*
A/N: Please tell me what you thought~