Author's Note: Okay, so I'm kinda new to this... but decided it would be fun to post something. I wrote this a while ago and it's not that well edited so excuse any errors that might be in here. Anyways, hope you like it.

Disclaimer: Ouran Highschool Host Club does not own me...... no wait it's the other way around.


Kaoru's P.O.V

It's twisted, the way he looks into my eyes and caresses my already damp tresses. It's wrong, the way I sigh as I bury my head into his shoulders and intertwine my hand in his. It was a deep secret the two of us shares, something only we knew, just like everything else in our lives. But this was different; it wasn't just another stupid little game we made up to pass time. It was an emotion, a twisted emotion that made our stomachs flutter and our minds explode with confusion.

Neither of us knew how it started, was it the brotherly love act from in the Host Club or had it blossomed so much earlier? Whatever or whenever it was, it bound the two of us together much tighter than the blood we shared ever could.


"Kaoru?" Hikaru called warily as he searched the mansion for his twin brother. His footsteps were heavy on the soft carpeted floor and his voice carried an almost scared tone of concern. The two twins had never been apart before and this separation, though only for a while had settled an uneasy feeling in his stomach. Kaoru had slipped away during lunch and didn't come back to rejoin him as he had promised. "Kaoru!" The elder twin called again hoping for a response.

The search through the mansion was deemed unsuccessful and a dejected Hikaru made his way out onto the balcony. His arms lay limped by his sides and his foot dragged across the wooden floors. Sighing heavily he leaned his weight against the balcony railings. His eyes scanned the garden below him almost hoping for Kaoru to just appear, and as if the heavens were listening to his silent prayers, he saw Kaoru crouched against the sunroom's glass walls. Standing up straight again, Hikaru's eyes lit up as his usual liveliness returned. Straightening out his shirt, he made his way down the balcony stairs, feet bouncing slightly.

"Kaoru?" Hikaru's pace slowed as he approached Kaoru who had his face buried in his knees and his arms wrapped tightly around them. Hikaru's hand grazed across the top of Kaoru's arm and gave it a slight push demanding a response from Kaoru. Snapping out of his daze, Kaoru lifted his head in one graceful motion and his eyes stared stunned at Hikaru.

Shooting up at an almost unbelievable speed, Kaoru stumbled slightly as he grasped the glass walls behind him for balance, "Hikaru! What are you doing here?!" His tone faltered slightly as his voice trembled in shock.

"I should be asking you that," Hikaru said playfully as he patted his younger twin on the shoulder as a gesture to calm him down, "So where were you? Is there something wrong?" Hikaru questioned again.

"No, of course not, why would you think that?" Kaoru's tone had seemed almost believable if it were not for the way his eyes seemed to dart away from Hikaru and the fake laugh he had forced.

"Kaoru," Hikaru sounded serious this time, "I'm your twin brother, and I know everything about you. There's got to be something wrong. You've been acting differently and it's not just today, it's been like this for I while now. Tell me, what's wrong?" Hikaru gazed into Kaoru's eyes, as Kaoru forced himself to look away, "We're brothers why do you have to lie to me, to hide your thoughts from me? You were never like this; please just tell me, what's wrong?"

"It's nothing! I'm fine okay?!" Kaoru's voice rose as he pushed Hikaru away, farther from him, "There's nothing wrong with me! I'm fine can't you just leave me alone? I—"

"Kaoru!" Hikaru's last string of patience broke as he slammed his hands onto the wall, trapping Kaoru under him, "Why won't you tell me? There's something wrong and both of us know it, just tell me, please." His voice faded into a desperate whisper as his arms limped to his side releasing Kaoru from underneath him.

Kaoru slumped back onto the floor as he leaned against the glass walls. Hikaru took the spot beside him as he sighed heavily. Silence took over them and the soft whispers of the wind could be heard. Both of them sat beside each other like two symmetrical halves, just like they always have, but the silent tension between them made things so desperately awkward.

Sighing heavily, Kaoru sat up from his slumped position. Hikaru gazed towards him as he waited for what was to come. Kaoru fidgeted slightly as he began, "you know the whole brotherly love thing we do in the Host Club?" His voice came out coarse but he went on, "And how we started it because we thought it would be fun to fool around like that? Well…" Kaoru gulped and shifted around uncomfortably, "I don't think it's just for fun anymore… at least not for me. To me it isn't just a façade of fake emotions and hollow words anymore. The emotions, they've become so real and I…" Kaoru fought to let the swelling tears in his eyes fall.

"Kaoru," Hikaru cupped Kaoru's face and wiped away the tear that rolled down his face, "Kaoru look at me," he whispered into his younger twin's ear.

"I can't Kaoru's gaze stayed glued onto the ground, "the emotions have become so strong I don't even know what to do anymore. They feel so twisted, so wrong, yet so overwhelming, I… I'm scared." Kaoru's voice had faltered into an almost silent whisper as his body shook as more tears flooded his eyes.

Hikaru's hand held Kaoru's chin and tilted his head so the he was able to look in Kaoru's eyes, "It's okay, I'm just as scared as you are," Hikaru breathed out as he pressed his lips onto Kaoru's. More tears fell from Kaoru's eyes as he gave into Hikaru's sweet embrace. He clung desperately into Hikaru's shoulders afraid to let go, afraid that Hikaru would come to his senses and push him away. Their lips molded into each other in a passionate fiery kiss as their hands clung onto each other in utter desperation and longing for each other.

In need of air, they broke apart, still deep and dazed in each other's embrace. Kaoru rested his head against Hikaru's shoulders and closed his eyes, enjoying the peace that filled his heart as he breathed in the scent so alike to his own and felt such familiar warmth.

"Hikaru, I love you."

"I know."

And their lips met again.

~End Flashback~

It was never supposed to be like this, we were supposed to be normal brothers. Yet here we are whispering into each other's ears and breathing on each other's necks. This love, this sick twisted love is so intoxicating; it seems to take away our troubles, our normal lives, reality. And for the tiniest moments we can pretend that there are no limits, no binds. For the tiniest moments we can forget that we will have to marry, have to be ripped apart. For the tiniest moments we can dream, we can hope, we can pray.


The dance hall was filled with people that had come to attend the Hitachiin family's New Year's Party. A mellow light shone at the crowd as they chattered amongst themselves. The soft mellow music filled the background bringing life to the glittering hall. The set up was grand and elaborate, drapes of rich crimsons stood out against the creamy yellows of the tiled marble floors and the walls were decorated with framed paintings that gave the room a felling of warmth. Chandeliers of fine crystals hung from the high painted ceilings and brought the shimmer to the room giving it a complete look.

Though the party was grand, it was not the Hitachiin twin's idea of fun. They sat by the corner of the room away from the bustling crowds. They were dressed the part with dress shirts of fine silk and satin dress pants along with fine Italian shoes yet they definitely did not feel the life of the party and it was evident from their expressions and the way their fingers tapped on the armrests that there was and whole bucketful of places that they'd rather be than here.

"I'm bored… this is boring…" Hikaru whined looking over to Kaoru who was sitting beside him, "Aren't you bored?" Hikaru fidgeted with the sleeves of his shirt as he poked Kaoru slightly wanting a response of some sort.

"It's not like we have a choice," Hikaru answered when he finally decided to respond to Hikaru's whining. Looking up at the ceiling, Kaoru grew silent again as he tapped his foot in tune with the background music.

"Man I hate these parties," Hikaru said again as he slumped further into his chair, "Don't you?"


Still restless, Hikaru scanned around the room multiple times. Finding nothing particularly interesting, he groaned once again in annoyance before he slouched back into his chair with his arms crosses. The sudden sight on the D.J struck him with a fun idea. Glancing towards Kaoru who was still staring up towards the ceiling, he smiled mischievously as he stood up and straightened his shirt.

Hikaru caught Kaoru's attention with his sudden movement as Kaoru snapped out of his daze, "Hikaru? Where are you going?" Hikaru put his hands on Kaoru's shoulders and pushed his back into his chair before whispering into his ear, "Don't move, I'll be back in a while, wait for me." And with that Hikaru turned swiftly on his heels and disappeared into the bustling crowds.

"Hey! Hikaru!" Kaoru tried to call for him as he stood up from this chair. He ran on instinct into the centre floor space attempting to search for Hikaru but only have guests of the party stare at him and a stern look of disapproval from his mother who was chatting with several friends. Dejected and slightly embarrassed, Kaoru dragged himself back to his seat in the far corner and eased himself into is once again as his fingers continued to tap on the armrest.

'God Hikaru, running off like that and leaving me here drowning in utter boredom, that's evil," Kaoru thought as he sighed in annoyance. Crossing his arms, he slouched further back into his chair and presumed that activity of staring at the ceiling and pouting to no one in particular.

"Ladies and Gentleman, I'm sure you've chatted more that enough, may I suggest you to a dance tune?" the D.J on stage said, his voice echoed through the microphone enveloping the whole room. What he had said had caught the attention of the crowd and they chattered between themselves frantically wanting to know what had happened.

Kaoru looked towards the crowd amused at their reaction towards the D.J's remarks. The mellow classical music in the background gave way for a funkier dance piece that dominated the room and towered above the chattering. The crowd fought to talk over the music while others decided to go with the flow and shifted stiffly to the new music selection.

A soft breath in Kaoru's ear and a firm tap on his shoulder made Kaoru jump, "Holy shit!" he turned on instinct as his face met with one identical to his own, except for the mischievous grin plastered across. "Hikaru! Don't do that!"

"Whoops," Hikaru came around his chair slightly bouncing as he did so and perched in front of Kaoru, leaning towards him, "so… wanna dance?" Hikaru asked playfully as he shifted his position and took a seat in the arm rest leaning against Kaoru's shoulder.

"You bribed the D.J didn't you?" Kaoru asked as he rolled his eyed almost sure of the answer he was to get.

"You know me too well," Hikaru's grin widened as he tugged on Kaoru's sleeve playfully, "come on, dance with me!" Hikaru pleaded in a childish tone as he pulled out the trick that had defeated their mother every time, the puppy eyes.

"Hikaru, that's ridiculous," Kaoru looked away refusing on desperate accounts to be fooled by those tearing eyes of his elder brother's. He tried pulling back his sleeve only to have Hikaru grab hold of his hand.

"Oh come' on!! Dance with me!" Hikaru gave a hard pull on Kaoru's hand as he swiftly pulled his younger twin off his chair and into his arms.

"Hikaru!" Kaoru cried as he almost bumped into Hikaru. A huge blush had spread across his face and his breathing hitched as Hikaru placed a hand on the curve of his waist. "Damn you," Kaoru cursed lightly as he glared as best as he could at his older twin.

"Relax," Hikaru whispered into Kaoru's ear as he guided his twin's hand to rest on his shoulder. Leading him onto the dance floor he hummed lightly into Kaoru's ear as he set a pace for them. Their steps soon fell in sync with each other and they shifted gracefully from side to side completely absorbed in the music and in each other.

"Hikaru," Kaoru whispered as he looked at the crowds who had quieted down from their small talk and were currently focused on the awkward couple, "This is embarrassing, everyone's watching us!"

"Of course they are, we're the most perfect couple on the dance floor," Hikaru whispered into Kaoru's ear as he closed his eyes and presumed to humming softly and guiding their graceful steps.

~End Flashback~

Every touch of affection has to be hidden under the façade of a silly joke we're pulling and every confession of love is in the content that it's all just a silly game we're playing. We have to hide what we really feel; we have to lie about our true emotions. We can't scream to the world of our eternal love for each other like every other couple, we love in silence through glances across the dinner table. We can't express how much we want each other, love each other, need each other in public, we can only whisper in the dark confinements of each other's rooms as we lay tangled between the covers. Our love is not approved by other, it's scorned, it's looked down upon, so we have to keep it hidden. But we know in the depth of our hearts that this only deepens our love further.


Sunlight streaked through the clouds and filled the air with a dimmed out yellow glow. The air smelled heavily of cherry blossoms, a sweet and fresh smell that felt so rich and strong. A spring breeze grazed across the ground, a slight chill in the sir. Soft, crisp chirps of birds echoed through the trees and the sound of a steady flow of last night's rain water made the day all the more alive. Hikaru and Kaoru were asleep under a huge will tree in the middle of the Hitachiin garden. Their breathing was soft and silent, completely in sync with each other. Kaoru lay his head on Hikaru's shoulder and Hikaru's arm draped limply around Kaoru's waist. They leaned against each other, supporting each other as they slept, faces free of emotion. The long strands of willow leaves served as a curtain that shielded out the outside world giving the twins their own sanctuary.

The maids passing by them giggled to each other quietly as they watched completely mesmerized by the sleeping twins. They appeared so innocent that the maids had the strongest urges to go up and touch their angelic faces. The head maid gave them stern looks as she saw them distracted from their work. Sighing, the head maid ushered them away as she assigned them different jobs. She looked towards the twins and shook her head, sighing as she went ahead to do her own jobs.

The spring wind continued to blow, swaying the curtain of willow leaves, a soft whooshing sound hiding the soft chuckle coming from Hikaru's lips as he watched the scene through half-lidded eyes. His hands caressed the soft skin of his twin's neck and twirled the damp strands of hair between his fingers. He cuddled his younger twin closer, closed his eyes and fell asleep again.

~That Night~

Coming out of the shower, Hikaru found Kaoru lying on their bed completely absorbed in a book. Feeling somewhat dejected at the fact that Kaoru didn't even acknowledge him in the simple action of looking up, he slipped under the covers beside him and poked at Kaoru's shoulder, "Kaoru-chan!"

"Ow!" Kaoru rubbed his shoulder with his free hand and glared at Hikaru, "don't do that!" He turned round and faced his back towards Hikaru. He settled back down into the bad and focused back onto his book. Just as he was about to start reading again, Hikaru bent over and snatched it back out of his hand.

"Hey!" Kaoru cried as he tried to retrieve his book as Hikaru towered over him waving the book above his twin's head. He glared at his brother as he struggled to reach for the book, "Hey Hikaru! Give it back!" Kaoru cried as he aimed to push Hikaru over to get his book. Getting another mischievous idea, Hikaru tossed Kaoru's book across the room with one swift throw. "Hikaru!" Kaoru cried in anger as he gave his older twin a firm push and turned to crawl off his bed for his book. Taking Kaoru off guard, Hikaru wrapped his arms around Kaoru's waist and pulled Kaoru towards himself. "Hey!" Kaoru's cry was cut off as Hikaru grazed his hand across his younger twin's chest. Hikaru rested his chin on Kaoru's shoulder and whispered into his ear, "I caught you."

"You're terrible," Kaoru whined as he trembled from Hikaru's breath on his neck. Kaoru's breath hitched as Hikaru's hand went under his shirt and caressed the soft, creamy skin on Kaoru's torso. Placing soft kisses along his neck, Hikaru mumbled into his skin, "I should be saying that about you, ditching me for a stupid book, you're really mean." With one swift movement, Hikaru pushed Kaoru onto the bed and towered over him using his own arms as support. "You really suck sometimes," Kaoru whispered as he gave up into Hikaru's touch. Hikaru sucked on his twin's ear. Moaning softly, Kaoru closed his eyes and drowned in Hikaru's soft touches along his now bare chest, grazing his fingers along his jawbone. Crushing their lips together Hikaru prodded his twin's mouth open. Their tongues twirled together desperately as Kaoru moaned deeply into the kiss. Pulling apart smirking, Hikaru breathed into Kaoru's ear, "I know," and once again pushed their lips together.

Hikaru was fully aware of the maid that was looking through the slightest crack in the door as he unbuckled Kaoru's pants.

~End Flashback~

Have I ever regretted this love, this affair? Of course it passes through me every second, always lurking somewhere in my mind. I feel scared, ashamed, perhaps even disgusted. Yet I can't seem to deny, to cover, to hide this desire, this passion, this love. And when I wake up with Hikaru beside, eyes staring into mine, I know that no matter how many obstacles we have to overcome, no matter how much pain and heart break we have to endure, it's worth it.


Groaning, Kaoru opened his heavy eyelids only to close them again because of the bright stinging sun light. A slow numbing pain over took his head as he pulled the covers over his head blocking out everything. Feeling around with his hands, he realized that the usual body of his twin wasn't beside him as he had always been. Groaning once again he forced himself to sit up just as a throbbing pain shot through his lower half. Memories of last night flashed through his head as he fell back against the head board of the bed, resisting with every muscle of his body the urge to just fall back into the bed and sleep right through the morning. "I really hate you sometimes Hikaru," Kaoru sighed as he eyed his brother's half of the bed.

Despite the strong resistance from his body, Kaoru forced himself to swing his legs over the side of the bed. Taking a deep breath he pushed himself off the bed and wobbled slightly as he balanced on his legs. He made his way limply to the washroom across the room. With the pain in his lower back still throbbing, he fell into the already prepared bath deciding that this was the least he deserved.

Coming out of the bathroom, Kaoru decided he was in a much better mood. Drying off his hair and body he made his way towards the bed. The pain of his lower back had resided into a dull stiffness and his headache had somewhat cleared up. Pulling on a pair of boxers a clean shirt and a pair of jeans, Kaoru made his way out of his room and into the kitchen.

A soothing aroma wafted through the air as Kaoru climbed down the spiral staircase. His steps were light against the spruce wood steps and almost had a bounce to them as he became mesmerized by the sweet scent. Following the aroma, Kaoru lightly limped into the mansion's kitchen in an almost happy mood.

"Morning Kaoru-chan!" Being completely entranced in the scent, Kaoru didn't even notice Hikaru standing by the stove in a white a blue checkered apron and a pair of chopsticks in hand. A bright smile spread across the older twin's face as he leaned against the kitchen counter.

"Hikaru!" Kaoru looked at this older twin brother in shock. Hikaru chuckled as he watched Kaoru's expression in amusement. "Come on in and sit down." Hikaru went towards the table and pulled out a chair gesturing for Kaoru to sit on it. When Kaoru had decided it was best to just follow along to whatever Hikaru was doing and took a seat on the chair, Hikaru grinned and planted a light kiss on Kaoru's cheek leaving Kaoru blushing before he turned around and returned to flipping eggs.

Kaoru was still dazed as he sat down. He watched Hikaru hum lightly over the stove. He was graceful in his movements as he prodded the eggs with his chopsticks and his feet were light as he shuffled in the kitchen. Too caught in watching his brother cook and the utter confusion of it all he didn't even realize Hikaru had come to the table until he felt something poke at his lips. Snapping out of a daze he looked up and saw Hikaru sitting in the chair beside him holding a pair of chopsticks to his lips trying to feed him the egg he had just cooked.

"Wha!" Kaoru tried to protest just as Hikaru stuffed the piece of egg into his twin's mouth. Hikaru smiled as he watched Kaoru chew on the egg and swallowing it. "What the Hell Hikaru!" Kaoru cried after he swallowed the egg. It had burnt his tongue slightly and he was clearly angry at Hikaru.

"What?" Hikaru asked as he began to cut off another piece of egg. "What are you doing?! I come down and see you in a ridiculous apron and above it all cooking? How do even know how to cook? The Hell!?" Kaoru stared as Hikaru waiting for his answer.

"Well," Hikaru put the piece of egg in his own mouth and played around with it a bit before he looked at his younger twin, leaned forward and brushed his lips onto Kaoru's. He prodded Kaoru's mouth open and pushed the egg into his twin's mouth. Taking a little time to savor the slight sweetness of Kaoru's lips he pulled away at last amused to see the blush that had flared against the pale skin of Kaoru's cheeks. He breathed against Kaoru's neck before he whispered into his ear, "Well, I've got to pay my little brother back for his company last night."

"Hikaru," Kaoru blushed as he looked up to Hikaru. Leaning forward again, Hikaru placed another kiss on Kaoru's lips, then cheek, before breathing out, "Hurry up and swallow the egg then we can get on with it.

Kaoru punched Hikaru playfully on the arm just as his older twin pushed him back against the kitchen table and kissed him. "You owe me for this," Kaoru breathed out as he gave in under Hikaru's soft touches.

~End Flashback~

At times I can't help but wonder how it would be like if Hikaru weren't my twin brother, if we had never met, never loved. If he didn't exist in me and I didn't exist in him. And wonder what it would be like if we had never developed this relationship if we never grew up being each other's mirror trapped in our own little world. And somehow at this point I can't keep wondering anymore because I can't even begin to imagine life without Hikaru. Not being able to see him when I wake up, not walking hand in hand down school hallways. And at this point I have to turn around to make sure Hikaru is still there beside me and always will be.


Nighttime had fallen outside the Hitachiin mansion. Cold winds banged almost painfully against the windows. Snow had begun to fall a while earlier and what seemed to be a harmless flurry turned out to be a full blast blizzard. Snow whooshed along with the wind and blew in all directions out of control. Kaoru sighed heavily as he propped himself against the sofa in front of the window of the mansion living room. The small blaze from the fire place in the wall warmed up the room and the candles lit in the room gave it a festive feel and seemed to make you forget about the outside storm. Kaoru had just come out of the shower and was dressed in a Japanese style sleeping robe. His hair was still damp and it stuck to his face and neck. A towel was draped around his shoulders and catch drops of water sliding down his tresses. He had a bored expression that bore a strange sadness. Sighing again, he sank deeper into the softness of the sofa.

"Kaoru-sama," the door squeaked slightly as the maid pushed open the door. Kaoru turned slightly and tilted his head in her direction signaling she had caught his attention. Bowing slightly, the maid resumed to what she was earlier saying, "Madame had told me to tell Kaoru-sama that he should go to bed and not wait for Hikaru-sama any longer.

"Tell mother that I'm fine and that she doesn't need to worry about me," Kaoru replied slightly annoyed. He turned back to facing the window and pouted slightly, "I'll go to bed when Hikaru comes home."

"Then at least let me serve Kaoru-sama a cup of hot tea. Even though there's heating in the mansion, it is still very cold, and Kaoru-sama will get a cold like that," the maid bowed again as she shifted her feet uncomfortably.

"Do as you wish," Kaoru replied half heartedly as he sighed slouching lower into the cushion of the sofa. He continued staring out the window through half lidded eyes.

"Yes," the maid bowed one last time before she stepped out of the room quietly closing the door behind her.

Kaoru continued peering out the window, not that you could see anything as he buried his head in his arms. He shivered slightly and wrapped the sleeping robe tighter around him. His eyes seemed to droop as the warm glow of the fire and the drowsiness overtook him. Unconsciously, he began to think of Hikaru. He had left two weeks ago on a business trip with their father. He was supposed to go with them but he had caught a serious case of the stomach flu and was stuck in bed. Hikaru had wanted to stay behind and take care of him but his mother had suggested that Kaoru would be fine and that this was a good chance for them to practice some independence and that they shouldn't be so clingy of each other.

'Independence my ass," Kaoru muttered as he pouted staring out the window watching snowflakes whoosh by the glass.

"Kaoru," a voice had broken Kaoru's train of thought as he turned to find his mother at the door. She too was prepared for bed in a sleeping robe and carried a tray of tea.

"Oh, hey mom," Kaoru said in mustered cheerfulness as he turned around completely making way for his mother to sit beside him. He rubbed his eyes slightly so he wouldn't seem so tired.

"see, you're tired, you should go to bed," Kaoru's mom said as she made herself comfortable beside him. Picking up a cup of tea, she blew on it lightly and took a sip gesturing for Kaoru to drink the other cup.

"Yeah but Hikaru's coming home today, I want to wait for him," Kaoru followed his mother's lead and bent over to pick up his cup of tea.

"I know, but considering this storm it's likely that he might not make it today. So just go to bed and he'll be here by the time you wake up in the morning," Kaoru's mom put the tea back onto the coffee table as she put a hand on her son's shoulder.

"Yeah, but Hikaru promised he'd be back tonight and he will, so let me wait for him, besides I'm not a little kid anymore so you don't have to dote on me so much," Kaoru said as he used his free hand to push his mother's hand off his shoulder.

"You say you're not a little kid but you sure act like one," Kaoru's mother sighed and shook her head as she too looked out the window with Kaoru. Silence incased the room for a long time and only the hollering wind outside and the silent sizzling of the flames could be heard. Kaoru's mom said again, "You know Kaoru, you shouldn't be so dependant on your brother, he's not going to be with you forever.

"Mom I know that, you don't have to tell me every chance you get," Kaoru sighed as he rested his head and closed his eyes for a bit.

"Yeah, but I…" Kaoru's mom began to say only to be cut of by a violent clatter on the front door.

"Hikaru," Kaoru mouthed as his head whipped around and he literally bounced off the couch and ran out the living room towards the front foyer.

Hikaru sighed heavily as the warmth of his home encased warming him up immediately. He had just taken off his coat when he heard a shuffle of foot steps and turning to see found his younger twin rushing towards him. He had just gotten the time to stretch out his arms as Kaoru buried himself into him. His own warm cheek pressed against Hikaru's freezing one, his arms latched around Hikaru's neck. Hikaru wrapped his arms around Kaoru's waist as he smiled lightly.

"You're back," Kaoru whispered in Hikaru's ear.

"Yup," Hikaru smiled sheepishly, "I promised didn't I?

Around them, their parents stared at them in utter shock.

~End Flashback~

It's a hard love I know, it's shunned upon, seen as disgusting, a disgrace. But he completes me, like no one else is able to, as a brother, a friend, a lover, a soul mate. He catches me when I tumble, pulls me up when I fall. With him I can cry, I can laugh, I can scream, I can love. I don't have to hide myself when I'm with him, I can show him my true self, open my wings and take flight. He fills me with this deep hidden desire, this painful longing, this passion. With him there is no such thing as sin, only the purest of joy, desire, and love. So no matter what comes in my way, in our way, we will stand tall and face it. We will fight for love.


"Hikaru!" Kaoru gasped as his older twin pushed him onto the bed, "what are you…" Kaoru was cut off as Hikaru met there lips together. Kaoru moaned into the kiss as Hikaru took the chance to slip his tongue into Kaoru's mouth, tasting and savoring the warm cavern. Hikaru smirked against Kaoru's lips as he heard another moan. Kaoru wrapped his arms around Hikaru's neck and pulled him deeper into the kiss. Using one hand to support his weight, Hikaru traced his fingers along Kaoru's collar bone, feeling the heated skin under his finger tips.

Kaoru's head was spinning, his face heated in desire as he strained to control himself. He felt his conscious slip away slightly under Hikaru's expert touches. He whimpered slightly as Hikaru drew away from the kiss panting for air. He looked at Kaoru through half lidded eyes filled with desire and lust. The room was silent for a split second before Hikaru buried his face into the crook between Kaoru's neck and his shoulder. He gently sucked on the skin there earning light, faint gasps from Kaoru. Hikaru's skilled fingers worked on the collar of the fancy silk dress shirt now soaked in sweat. Hikaru revealed the silky, tender skin under the light layer of clothing. He sucked lightly on Kaoru's ear lobe and ran his hand down Kaoru's chest releasing the buttons along the way.

The heat had become unbearable and the feel of the cool air as it played on the Kaoru's bare skin drew a deep moan to his lips. His own hands tugged on Hikaru's tie until the stubborn fabric broke loose and revealed Hikaru's bare neck. Hikaru smiled as he captures Kaoru into another passionate kiss. His hands caressed his brother's skin running it up and down his torso until it finally settles at his lips. Kaoru moaned into the kiss as he began unbuttoning Hikaru's shirt.

Kaoru's hands tightened around Hikaru's neck as he pulled him closer. Their bodies pressed together in an embrace as if skin itself was a barrier that had to be broken by the most passionate embrace. A familiar hardness began to form between Kaoru's legs as he arched into Hikaru's soft caresses. His mind began to numb as Hikaru fingered the rim of his pants. A dull hum formed in the back of Kaoru's throat as his mind seemed to black out.

Hikaru had unzipped Kaoru's pants and pushed them down along with silk boxers. Cool air rushed between Kaoru's legs as he groaned, throwing his head back. Hikaru ran his hands underneath Kaoru's thighs and placed kisses along Kaoru's chest. His hands slid higher along Kaoru's legs and wrapped around Kaoru's length.

"Hikaru," Kaoru half-moaned, half whimpered.

"What's wrong?" Hikaru looked up and into Kaoru's eyes.

"Don't you think this is wrong," Kaoru squirmed uncomfortably under Hikaru and looked away from his gaze.

"It's wrong, I know, but at this point, I really can't bring myself to care."

~End Flashback~

Everyday of this love affair causes my head to spin in dizziness and pure numbness and pleasure. I can't begin to describe what its like is. We speak a silent language to each other, a gaze, a nudge, a smile; it's all we need to realize how much we long for each other. We wind deeper and deeper each day, unable to pull out. Its complete darkness here, filled with uncertainty and fear. But when his hand touches mine, all of these feeling disappear, and all that's left is a bittersweet love so strong, so empowering, so beautiful.

I know it's wrong, we know it's wrong, but no matter how wrong, how disgusting, hateful, shunned it is, its still love. Love so pure that it doesn't separate wrong from right, love so pure that none of these hateful words could ever break it.

And here we are with our sweaty bodies pressed against each other, breathing in unison. The world seems to disappear and we can only see each other, feel each other, love each other. And at this exact moment, our lives seem so…


~The End~

Author's Note: A review would be nice!! ^_^