A/N: Hello! this is my first part in Dogs and Water Don't Mix. Fallacy's Take it or Leave it. It has been beta-read so =D
Chi's Description/short life story: She has long, red, curly waist-length hair and blood-red eyes. She is large chested--a tiny bit smaller than Tsunade--and thin. Her Kekkai Genkai is the ability to control animals, talk to them, and change her physical appearance to animalistic qualities. She's usually seen with red wolf ears, red wolf tail, and black wings. Her favorite color is black and red, and she's distantly related to Gaara, Kankuro, and Temari. She was childhood friends with Itachi, and has an enormous crush on him. She knows Itachi's true story, and took on the mission as well. The story takes place a few years after Shippuden.
Disclaimer: Except for Chi, all characters belong to Masahi Kishimoto. Or else Naruto and Sasuke would be screwing each other like rabbits, and Pein wouldn't be leader of the Akatsuki. =D
Chi let out a loud growl, and her wings, ears, and tails immediately retracted.
"Not more!" Chi shouted, running up the stairs to her apartment. A large wooden box was on her front doorstep. Inside were 8 puppies. They barked happily, and scratched at the sides. Chi smiled, and her heart melted at the sight of the 8. "Well, come on in." She picked up the box, grunting at the weight, and took them into her house. The puppies barked loudly, and she closed the door with her foot.
Gently, she put the box on the floors, and bent down. They all stared at her with endearing eyes. Surprisingly, she didn't her any of their thoughts like she normally would. "You guys are different, you know. I can usually hear all animals' thoughts. Except for human's, of course." She chuckled, and lifted one puppy out of the box. It was a silver male. She jumped slightly as it tried to bite her hand. "Hey now, none of that!" She swatted the puppy's nose gently, growling back. She set it down, and noticed a silver chain hidden in the fluff. "Collars? So, I'm Konoha's vet, of course." She grimaced at the thought. Then, she found the tag. Except it wasn't a tag, it was an upside down triangle in a circle. "Hidan? No, it couldn't be. He died…. They all did, of course." She smiled, and the pup looked back with striking purple eyes. "Oh my Jashin. You do have the same eyes." She touched noses with the dog, and he licked it gently. She laughed. "No, you can't be. Anyway," she put him down. "Run along. You must be hungry, and I can't feel anything wrong with you. Food is in the kitchen." She nudged him towards her kitchen. She took another puppy out of the box. This one was a golden retriever with stunning light blue eyes. This one's hair was slightly longer than other golden retriever's hair was supposed to be. He yipped, and Chi laughed. "These are starting to look like my old comrades," Chi whispered, cuddling the puppy to her chest. "How I hate them so. They were the ones that made my life the hell it is now." The puppy started to get restless, and she put him down. "Go eat," she said, sighing. He skittered away, jumping a little bit. The next puppy she pulled out was a light blue. Chi sat on her haunches, and started laughing. The puppy growled slightly. She nuzzled the puppy's neck, smiling. He put a paw on her nose, pulled down, and scratched the skin. "You little!" She swore, which she usually didn't do in front of anyone. Chi moved her hand to the back of his neck, and set him down roughly. "Go." He let out one growl, and then bounded away. She pulled out another puppy from the box. Chi growled as the small puppy bit her hand, hanging on.
As Chi lifted him higher, he stared at her with lime-green eyes that held her gaze. He had stitches all over, making his short, brown fur stick out in tufts. She patted his head, smiling. "You hungry? You must be. I think that box has been sitting there for at least an hour or two." She put the dog down, and shooed him out. Slowly, Chi elevated herself unto her knees, and took out what seemed to be a black and white dog. Surprisingly, he was half dark green and half white. Amber eyes stared back at her, and she set the dog on the floor. He slinked away. Slowly, she picked up a chocolate lab with brown-red eyes. Strangely, he had an orange and black striped muzzle that conflicted heavily with the rest of his face. Chi chuckled a little bit. He wagged his tail, and licked her cheek. Chi yipped happily, and grinned. Chi and the dog looked at each other for a second, and then she put him down.
"Two more puppies to go." There was a tan puppy that was standing on his hind legs. "Hello, there." She picked him up, and smiled. The puppy had pretty red eyes that looked almost lifeless. There were two lines by the edges of his mouth. She stared at him for too long, and the dog wriggled out of Chi's grip. "Okay, okay. I'm sorry." He dropped to the floor, trotting away and wagging his tail. Slowly, she lifted out the last puppy, and Chi's breath caught in her throat.
"Itachi," she choked out, cuddling him to her rather-large chest. "Itachi… My childhood friend. I couldn't save you, I'm sorry." The puppy laid his ears against his head. He was midnight black with stunning, crimson eyes. She started to weep gently, holding the puppy tighter. He barked at Chi impatiently. "I'm sorry. You just reminded me of someone I used to know." Gently, she nuzzled his cheek, smiling sadly. Standing, Chi walked into her kitchen, and set the black puppy on the floor. Most of the dogs were gulping down the food as if they never ate. The black puppy sat, and waited for most of the dogs to stopped eating. Chi laughed a little bit as the chocolate lab sat at her feet, whining. Kneeling, Chi scratched his chin. His fur was cold.
"I should turn on the heater, shall I?" Without waiting for an answer, Chi stood back up and turned on the heater. She sat on the counter, swinging her legs gently. She looked at the ceiling, and then heard a silent crack. Then another, and then six more. Her head swung down, and there was eight very naked men standing in her kitchen. "Holy!" she took in most of the familiar faces. "You all." Her eyes welled angrily.
"Hey it's the old whore," Hidan said, walking up to her. Chi growled, and wiped her tears away. "Stop being a pussy." She pushed his shoulder, and kicked his knee out.
"Go put some clothes on!"
"I don't have any clothes, bitch!" Chi groaned, and hopped off the counters.
"I don't have anything. I moved out of my old house." Then she realized that she was being watched, and walked out of the room with her head down.
Once inside her bedroom, she leaned on the door. Sighing heavily, she walked over to her closet and opened it. There were some small sweatpants in the bottom. Groaning, she grabbed eight pairs, and walked back to the living room, where all of the Akatsuki members were laying, sprawled indecently.
"Alright, everyone, here's some pants. Sorry they're so small, I'll have to get some clothes for you guys." They caught the pants that Chi threw to them, and started pulling them on. "So, you're all here. Except for Pein nad Konan? Might I ask why the hell are you puppies? And I only recognize Tobi, Kisame, Itachi, and Hidan. Please introduce yourselves." Kisame laughed heartily, shaking his head. Everyone introduced themselves. Because Chi used to be a part of the Akatsuki, she no longer had access to the top-secret files, most of which contained information on the Akatsuki. Of course, she had lived in a secluded house in most of her Akatsuki days, so she only met a few of the members.
"Because some genius that wanted to screw with us changed us into puppies once we were almost dead. I think it was Kabuto or some person," Zetsu stated, grimacing. Chi sat down on the couch, moving a reluctant Hidan. Tobi practically jumped out of his spot, sitting next to Chi, pushing a grumbling Hidan over again. Tobi hugged her tightly. Chi hugged him back.
"Tobi is glad Tobi gets to see Chi-chan again!" Itachi leaned more heavily on the fireplace, his face stern. Chi avoided his eyes. "I loves you Chi-chan!"
"I love you too, Tobi." This was a ritual between them. They were as close as brother and sister. When he had died, she had cried her eyes out.
"We change back into humans when we touch water constantly. The most cliché thing," Zetsu explained. A knock that sounded on the door caught all of their attentions.
"Get into my bedroom, now!" Chi whispered, and all of the men ran into her bedroom, cracking into humans again. Chi smoothed her blood-red hair, walking to the door. She opened it quickly, smiling at Hinata and Sakura on the other side.
"Hinata-chan! Sakura-chan, come on in!" She ushered them inside, and sat down on the couch. They sat on chairs opposite her, a frown on both of the girl's faces. "What's wrong?" Chi asked. "Out with it! I can smell the uncertainty inside you."
"Well, it's Na…Naruto…." Hinata began. "He's going away on a mission, and I don't want him to go. He's going with Kiba-kun and Shikamaru-kun." Chi nodded, understanding. They heard a yip from behind the couch, and there came Hidan and Zetsu puppies. I'm going to kill you when they're gone, she thought. Sakura jumped a little bit, shocked at the two dogs suddenly appearing.
"Konoha is making you take care of more animals?" Sakura asked.
"I don't know. They were just dropped off. I've only had them for about an hour." Hidan looked up at Sakura with big purple eyes. "Don't pick them up, they're very temperamental." Hidan whined, and tried to climb up Sakura's leg, which got a well-deserved push from Sakura. "Excuse me," Chi said quickly, getting on all fours and transforming into a large white wolf. She picked up both Hidan and Zetsu, taking them into her bedroom, and dropping them on the floor. The rest of them looked at her from various places—most of which on the bed. Chi turned back into a human. "Watch them."
Quickly, Chi walked back to the living room and sat back down in her spot again.
"So, I suggest you take Naruto out for dinner," she suggested.
"To dinner?" Hinata asked, hesitating.
"Of course!" Sakura said cheerily.
Itachi leaned in closer to the door, pressing against it. He had thought about asking Zetsu whether or not to morph into the living room, but he knew that as a puppy that would be impossible. Still, it was hard to keep up his sadistic attitude as an adorable puppy. He turned around, looking at everyone. They were all doing their own things, ignoring him. Tobi and Deidara were taking naps in the sun, Kisame looking at the fish in the closed bowl—it had a mesh lid that they couldn't remove themselves to touch the water. Hidan was trying to open Chi's underwear drawer, and Kakuzu was sitting next to him lazily, watching with mild interest. Zetsu was lying in the indoor plant in the corner, falling asleep. Sasori was sitting on the floor, perfectly still. He was staring off into space, yipping ever so often. Slowly, Itachi walked to the bathroom door, nudging his nose between the jamb and door. Smiling with his success, Itachi hopped onto the toilet seat, and dipped his paw into the water. He shook it out, and with a small crack, he was human again. Taking a towel from the small cabinet, he wrapped it around his hips. Spotting a cup of water on the counter, he drenched his head with it. There, that would work for keeping him wet for a while.
Slowly, he closed the door to the bedroom. No one noticed him gone. He walked out to the opening to the living room, crouching down. He didn't notice that the towel opened indecently. He leaned closer to the opening, cursing his long, wet hair for hanging in front of his face. Slowly, he pushed it back, trying not to move too much.
"Yeah, I know. It sucks not to be able to do S rank missions," Chi said to the younger girls. "I do have some leverage with Naruto-sama, but I can only do up to A rank missions. It pisses me off," Chi complained.
"Hokage Naruto tries to compromise with the politicians, but you know they won't bend with a traitor. Sasuke can't even do any type of missions at all." So, my little brother came back, Itachi pondered. He was startled out of his thoughts with a few quick "good-bye"s and "thank-you"s. The door closed, and Chi walked over to the couch. Itachi made as to stand, and make back into the bedroom.
"You aren't going anywhere," Chi said from above him. Quickly, Itachi sat down, and closed his legs, staring up at her innocently. Chi flicked his nose so he couldn't use the Mangekyou Sharingan. Not that he could, anyway. As dogs, they lost their Jutsu. He scrunched up his nose. Slowly, Chi helped him up.
"What were you doing back there?"
"I was listening."
"Why can't you do S-rank missions anymore, and why is Naruto Hokage?"
"Because Tsunade retired. Oh yes, I must say. You're Otouto is gay for the Hokage, and he for him." Itachi's eyes widened considerably, and then narrowed once more.
"Well, I would have guessed that my weak little brother would do that." Chi lowered her voice, looking up at Itachi.
"I know about your secret," she whispered, stepping closer. "I know the third Hokage made you. I know you love you're little brother." Itachi went rigid, and turned around from her. He was embarrassed. "I think that's very admirable," Chi whispered. Then, he felt himself getting smaller, and he was looking up at her again. She bent down, her long hair falling over both shoulders. He felt himself being picked up, and Chi tucked him under her arm. "I won't tell," she whispered. Then, she went into her bedroom.
Chi sighed, and put Itachi on the bed. Everyone stopped their antics and looked at her. Hidan jumped from the dresser, and settled on the bed. He looked innocent.
"Alright, come on. Let's go to the bathroom." Walking to the bathroom, she put all of the puppies into the bathtub. Quickly, she walked to the other side of the shower. She put the shower on, getting all the puppies wet with freezing water. She closed the shower door, and held it tight. Eight cracks happened simultaneously.
"I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU!" Hidan shouted from the shower, trying to get out. Chi opened the shower door, letting the eight men out.
"What was that for, Chi-chan?" Tobi asked.
"Because I smelt something funny in my room, that's why!" Chi walked away, out into the living room. She had already gotten used to their nakedness, but they still put sweatpants on. Probably to hide themselves from embarrassment. Hidan came storming into the living room, seething with anger.
"WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT?" Chi smiled innocently.
"Do what, Hidan?"
"THROW US IN THE FUCKING COLD SHOWER LIKE THAT? I'M FUCKING TINY NOW, BITCH!"
"You're not any shorter."
"I DIDN'T MEAN LIKE FUCKING THAT!" Zetsu walked out, crossing his arms. His light green hair was as spiky as usual, due to the water.
"Calm down Hidan, we're men now. Besides, someone could hear you." Hidan plopped into a chair, sprawling in it. Kisame came into the living room, running a hand through his hair slowly, and savoring the wetness.
"I'm hungry," Kakuzu said, sitting on the arm of Hidan's chair. Hidan kicked him off. "Chi, do you have anything cheap that could feed eight people?"
"Only just about fifty million packs of instant noodles from the Hokage." Tobi laughed, and sat down to Chi, hugging her.
"Tobi is cold."
"I'm sorry Tobi," she responded, petting his back. "I shouldn't have put you in there. I know you were innocent" Deidara came into the room, grimacing.
"Oh yeah, you apologize to him, but not to me. I was doing nothing but sleeping." Sasori and Itachi walked out too. Itachi leaned against the wall, in the shadows. Sasori smiled a wicked grin, and sat on the couch with Tobi and Chi.
"I guess I'll go make the ramen then." She found a 24-pack of instant ramen in the back of her cabinet. Naruto—to make up for the S-rank missions—gave her two of them every month, to her dismay. She'd never eat it all.
"How hungry are you all?" she called into the living room.
"I'm so hungry I could eat two things of ramen!" Tobi shouted. Everyone else agreed. Okay, so 8 times 2 plus one is seventeen. She pulled out seventeen packets of the noodles, and removed the powder from each. From her cabinet, she pulled out four large pots, and filled them each to the brim with water. She put each pot on high heat, and came back out to the living room. Most of them were watching TV. Hidan was still grumbling about being small.
"Okay, we need a solution for everyone to stay human when needed. Hair dries slowly, but it would only really work for Itachi-san and Deidara-san, who both have long hair. What does everyone propose?"
"I suggest that I make something that retains water but lets it out in small increments," Sasori suggested. He sounded sure of himself.
"Kind of like a permeable watch or a necklace?" Chi asked. Sasori nodded.
"I'd need the right material, though." Tobi jumped up.
"Tobi will help!" he exclaimed, grinning a toothy grin.
"Yes, Chi-chan!" Tobi skipped to the kitchen. Many cracks sounded. "It's not!" Tobi cracked. Sasori did too. Only ones left were Itachi and Deidara.
"Okay, Itachi and Deidara. I think the puppies need to go to the bathroom." They both agreed as the six puppies danced by the door. "I think I have enough leashes." She walked to the closet, finding collars for all of them, and finding retractable leashes. Letting the leases dangle in her mouth, she collared all of the puppies. Hidan tried to bite her, but she slapped his muzzle gently. "Itachi and Deidara, go dunk your heads again, and put the ramen in the pots when it bubbles. I leave the house with you. Try not to break anything."
"I won't, un."
"I'll be back in a few." She smiled at the two boys, and hooked leashes on all of them. "Let's hope it doesn't rain," Chi pointed out, and laughed.
She headed out the door, and was pulled forward by six abnormally strong and excited puppies.
"Back," she commanded, pulling the leashes suddenly. The puppies obeyed reluctantly. Slowly, she walked out into the streets and walked her usual route. First, she walked past her old home as a child with her parents, and then past the Uchiha Manor. The door had recently been painted over to symbolize Naruto's spiral pattern and the Uchiha's symbol. Chi smiled, and opened the door.
"Naruto-kun! I have some new friends!" An older Naruto appeared behind a door.
"Chi!" he shouted, and ran to hug her. After, he crouched down and was swarmed by the puppies. "They like me I think!" He was tousling with them. It was surprising how much Naruto had grown since his childhood. The Kyuubi whiskers were the most predominant feature on his face, becoming etched into his skin. His bright blue eyes contrasted with his blond hair that was still in that spiky formation. He was tanned, and his arms were slightly big. A leaner, pale man walked into the yard.
"Naruto, get off the ground." At the sound of the man's voice, Naruto jumped up, and ran over to hug Sasuke tightly. The resemblance between Sasuke and Itachi was uncanny. They had the same eyes and the same color skin, although there were big differences. Itachi's hair was colored black, while Sasuke's was a raven-blue. Naruto picked Sasuke up, spinning the shorter man around. They started to kiss, and Chi picked the leashes up and walked out of the yard.
Once home, Chi took all of the collars off, hanging them on the coat rack near the door. She walked through the house to find Itachi and Deidara in the kitchen, stirring pots. She couldn't help but laughing at the sight of two S-ranked criminals cooking Ramen in her kitchen. Itachi and Deidara's hair was dripping wet, and soon the rest of them came into the living room, wearing their tiny sweatpants. "It's dinner time," Chi said. Carefully, she took out nine bowls and nine pairs of chopsticks. She dished out servings for all of them, including a smaller one for herself. She mixed the beef flavoring into the hot water, making a broth out of it. She put some of it in each bowl, and they all grabbed one. There wasn't enough room at the table, so they went out into the living room, and piled in. They all started to slurp their food down, except for Itachi, Chi, and Sasori. Itachi ate his food slowly, carefully. Chi took small bites, chewing them quickly. Sasori drank the liquid first, and then ate the dry noodles.
After dinner, Tobi took all of the bowls and started to wash them.
"Tobi-kun, I can do them," Chi said quietly. Her wings shuffled gently. Once on the walk, she had resumed her wings, ears, and tail. "No, Tobi wants to thank Chi-chan."
"Okay, thank you." She walked back into the living room, and saw only five bodies. "Where's Hidan?" Deidara shrugged. "And Kisame?"
"Sasori is writing a list, but I don't know where Hidan is," Kakuzu said. Chi groaned, and searched through the small house. She searched in the closet—which was where Sasori was—and the two bathrooms. Finally, she cracked open her bedroom door, and there was Hidan surrounded by her underwear. Kisame was fingering one of her bras, laughing quietly. He held it up to his chest, and smiled.
"How do I look?" Kisame asked with a laugh.
"You look like a fucking pretty princess, okay? We're here to panty-raid, not be fucking pussies." Hidan stole the bra from Kisame's hands.
"Can't believe she actually wears these things," Kisame wondered aloud. He flicked a thong at Hidan, and he caught it, laughing.
"I always thought of her as the modest virgin," he laughed out. Itachi startled her by appearing right next to her, close to her ear.
"Shall we surprise them?" he asked. Inside, Itachi was burning with rage at Kisame and Hidan sneaking into Chi's bedroom. His Chi's bedroom. Chi looked up at him, and turned around at Itachi's endearing expression.
"What?" she whispered. Itachi kissed her lightly.
"Nothing." That was my first kiss! Chi ranted inside of her head, but she couldn't help but revel in the moment. "You wear G-strings?" As if to see, Itachi put a finger into the waistband of her skirt, and pulled on a piece of lace.
"Stop that," she whispered back, impatient.
"Anyway, shall we?"
"One," Chi whispered, pushing the door open. Both Itachi and Chi stormed into the bedroom. Chi spread her wings as far as they could go. And then Crack! Both Hidan and Kisame turned into the adorable puppies that they are. She heard more cracks from the living room, and one from the hall closet. The panties that Hidan had been holding fell on his small puppy head. Chi groaned, and removed the panties from his head. The dog stared back with large, teary eyes.
"No, no! I'm not going to fall for that." Chi covered her eyes, and picked Hidan up by the scruff of his neck. "Don't look at me like that!" she yelled, shaking him once. Kisame was already in Itachi's arms, rubbing against Itachi's neck.
"I can't stay mad at them," Itachi said sternly.
"They're using their puppy power," Chi deadpanned, sitting on the bed, and letting Hidan nuzzle her neck. "Damn you Hidan, I will so get you later."
Sasori-puppy walked in with a piece of paper between his teeth. Chi pulled it out of his mouth, and scanned the list quickly.
"What is it?"
"A list for your guy's water necklaces, or whatever. I want to feel your silky hair again," Chi joked, laughing a little bit. Itachi stared back at her, and then his hair started to dry at the roots. With another crack, Itachi turned back into a puppy. There was another crack in the living room, and the other Akatsuki puppies joined them. For now, the list lay forgotten on the floor. Chi lay down on the bed, and was tackled by various puppies. Zetsu was licking her face excitedly, his tail beating at a fast rate. Hidan was biting at her fingers gently. Itachi and Tobi were rolling over her, yipping happily. Deidara was at her face, looking down. Both paws were on her forehead, and she noticed faint black lines across the lower portion of his legs. At this moment, she decided to ignore them. Soon, they were all tired, and they fell asleep on the bed, all together.
Later that night, a Hidan puppy awakened Chi, licking her cheek. She shook herself awake, and sat up. None of the puppies were disturbed, as they had rolled off her in the middle of the night. Hidan jumped off the bed, scratching at the door. Chi understood what Hidan was trying to say. She reached into the closet, and pulled out a jacket. She opened the door quietly, and Hidan led her to the door. She grabbed his collar and leash, and put them on him. She shoved her feet into some ninja sandals, and went outside. She led Hidan, and blinked herself awake. Hidan was pulling at the leash, and she went along. Soon, they were walking along Konoha's streets, Hidan sniffing at the ground. Chi didn't know what he was doing until he lifted his leg on a lamppost. She rolled her eyes, and stood there. Then, as soon as he was done, it started to rain. Hidan immediately changed back into a man. Unfortunately, it was very cold that night and Chi hadn't brought any extra clothes. Hidan scratched at the collar, and Chi took it off.
"Thank you," Hidan gasped as he gulped air. Chi laughed, and kept her focus point at somewhere above his head. "Let's go back, old bitch. I'm done out here." She dismissed his insult.
Once inside of the house, Chi hung up Hidan's leash and collar. Hidan was standing next to her, not moving. He crossed his arms stubbornly.
"What?" she asked impatiently.
"Nothing. It was fucking nice when I was a dog."
"Because I got to sleep on your huge chest." She slapped him hard.
"You asshole!" Chi whispered harshly, fuming. She was starting to swear more with the Akatsuki living in her house, and it disturbed her. Hidan smiled, and shook himself off. "Go put some pants on, tiny." He grimaced at her, and walked off to her bedroom to fish out his pair of sweatpants. Chi yawned, and looked around at the dark living room. She didn't find anything interesting, so she waited for Hidan to come out of her bedroom before walking inside, and lying down on her bed. The puppies were still outlining where she had lain before having to take Hidan out for a walk. Itachi nuzzled her arm, and wormed his way underneath it. She smiled, and turned her head towards his.
"Good night, Itachi-kun," Chi whispered before drifting off to sleep.
Hidan leaned against the bedroom doorjamb. He saw the quick exchange between Itachi and Chi. He was pissed at Itachi. His feelings for Chi were confused. One minute he hated her, but the next he felt like kissing her. Pushing himself off of the jamb, he walked into the living room, and turned on TV. He didn't pay attention to the programs until he heard a loud knock on the door. Hidan's back went ridged, and he stood up quickly. He ran into the bedroom, and woke Chi up.
"There's someone at the door." Chi sat up groggily, and picked Itachi up into her arms. He awoke with her. If looks can kill, then Hidan would have been dead…twice. Itachi opened those ugly crimson eyes and glared at him, and Chi glared at him with blood red eyes. They walked out to the door, and Chi opened it. Hidan drenched his hair in the sink, and hid behind the door to the living room. It was Naruto and Sasuke.
"Naruto! And Sasuke, why are you two here?"
"Sasuke," Naruto said. Hidan could see Sasuke leaning heavily on Naruto, mumbling gibberish. Blood was dripping down his nose.
"What happened?" Chi asked. "Couldn't be a mission."
"Sasuke and I were drinking heavily, and he tried to jump me, so I kind of punched him. I think I overdid it." Chi nodded, and gave Itachi to Naruto. She carried Sasuke to the couch, and lay him down. Sasuke coughed, and Chi covered her nose.
"Sake," Chi said.
"Sake," Naruto agreed. Hidan waited for the Kyuubi-kid to walk over to the couch with Itachi, and give him back. Hidan leaned against the opening to the living room, and watched and listened quietly.
Chi pet Itachi, worrying slightly over Sasuke. Never had she seen him drunk, even though he had gone drinking with Jiraya, Tsunade, Naruto, and her many times. Itachi yipped, and licked her face. She had hoped that Naruto didn't notice the small creases in his face or the pretty crimson eyes. Itachi placed his paws on her collarbone, and looked back at Sasuke. She knew he was asking to go over and see his little brother.
"Oh, you might as well," Chi said quietly. Slowly, she put Itachi on the couch with Sasuke, and let him go. She stood at the ready if Sasuke recognized the small creases or the eyes. Chi didn't think that Sasuke would take well to seeing his brother examine him. "Who's that? I didn't see him on the walk," Naruto said quietly.
"He doesn't go to the bathroom as much as the rest," Chi lied.
"He reminds me of someone, but I don't know. Those crimson eyes are striking." Chi swore inside her head numerous times. Naruto shrugged.
"So, how has your relationship gone with the politicians?"
"They hate it when we train together. They hate it when we go out to ramen. They hate it when I take him to the Hokage's office for advice. They hate it when we take walks together. They hate it when we go to the Hot Springs. They hate it how we kiss in public. They hate it when I take him to meetings. They hate him, and they think the Hokage should have better." Naruto stood, walking over to Sasuke, and kneeling down. "I don't care. I love him." Naruto kissed Sasuke quickly, smiling and removing a piece of hair from Sasuke's face. Sasuke stared back with wide eyes and a flushed face.
"Sasuke doesn't go well with sake, huh?" Chi asked. Itachi opened his mouth and closed it again. "Sasuke can sleep here. Sorry I don't have any extra bed or anything. It would be better if he slept here anyways. A hung over Sasuke wouldn't be good for house meetings." Naruto nodded.
"Yeah, a few of them are coming over in the morning." Naruto rubbed his face. "I'll go home. Thank you, Chi-chan. Oh yeah, Hinata asked me out to ramen."
"You should go. Hinata is a good friend of yours."
"Yeah, if I didn't have Sasuke I'd probably marry her." Chi laughed.
"When is your wedding, anyways? I know you two are engaged, but I want to know the date." Naruto grinned that still-boyish grin. "You'll get the invitation soon enough. Come over sometime, and bring this puppy. It seems that he really likes Sasuke and Sasuke likes him." Sasuke was petting the Itachi, and he was licking Sasuke's face excitedly. Chi laughed.
"I will, Naruto-sama."
"Call me Naruto!" Naruto griped.
"All right, Naruto." Naruto grinned, and waved good-bye.
"Bye Chi-chan!" Chi and Naruto hugged.
"Bye, Naruto. Get married soon, I want to be there!"
"Alright, I promise I will. I have to talk it over with Sasuke."
"I know," Chi laughed out.
"Take care of Sasuke for the night."
"I will." Naruto bent down, and kissed Sasuke again.
"Good night, Sasuke-kun. I'll see you tomorrow after my meeting."
"Naruto," Sasuke said weakly, and smiled. "I love you."
"I love you too, Sasuke." They kissed, and Naruto left.
Hidan came out of his hiding place, smiling. Itachi had climbed back to Chi's lap, and Sasuke was fighting sleep. Chi leaned back, and started to stroke Itachi's back. Hidan sat in the recliner. A small smile was still playing on his lips.
"So, that Kyuubi kid is Hokage?"
"Yeah. Don't you dare try to take him again."
"Hey, we fucking stopped that after we left Akatsuki."
"We did." Hidan leaned back in his chair and watched Sasuke drift off to sleep.
Once Sasuke was asleep, Chi picked up Itachi, and took him into the bathroom, drenching his head in water in the sink. The now human Itachi took his pair of black sweatpants off of the toilet. They were way too small for him, and were stretched to their limits. They all needed clothes, and she would have to go and buy some. Itachi closed both doors, trapping them inside of the bathroom.
"What?" Chi asked. She was ready to turn into a mouse at first sign of danger, and avoided his eyes. Her wings went back into her back, and her ears lay against her head.
"Otouto has changed," Itachi whispered. "He's no longer one that I can take care of." He put both hands on each side of Chi's head, putting his forehead against the door. "Sasuke has grown so much." Both of his hands curled into fists, making small indents in the wood. "He can protect himself. I can't believe it." Chi jumped slightly as she felt something wet hit her shoulder. She looked up in amazement, and saw Itachi's eyes watering. None but that single tear escaped.
"Otoutosan is stronger now, yes, but he could always use an older brother," Chi whispered, and put her hand on Itachi's forearm gently. They were now holding each other's gaze, and Chi was slightly surprised that he wasn't using Mangekyou Sharingan. Slowly, she kissed his cheek, rising to her toes. She moved her hand to his cheek, cupping his face. Itachi pulled away slowly, and smiled at her.
"Don't be," Chi said, and they walked out of the bathroom.
Once in the living room, Chi sat back in her chair, and Itachi sat on the floor in front of her. Hidan eyed both of them suspiciously.
"You asshole,' Hidan said.
"What?" Itachi asked.
"You two are fucking together, aren't you?" Itachi laughed quietly.
"No, we're not," Chi retorted. Itachi looked at his drunken brother. His eyes were open a little bit. Itachi stood, walking over to his brother, observing him from above. Sasuke shrank into the couch, hiding his face behind the blanket he had pulled up to his chin. Itachi rolled his eyes, and walked over to Chi, sitting in front of the chair again.
"Stop being her fucking Guard Dog, Itachi." Chi giggled behind her hand.
"What if I want to be a guard dog for Chi?" Chi's eyes started to get heavy. Hidan cracked, and turned into a puppy. Itachi grinned at him, and put his hand on Chi's leg. When she didn't flinch, he leaned against it heavily. Then, he took one look at Sasuke's now sleeping form, and cracked into a puppy. He jumped up into the chair and curled up in Chi's lap. Hidan lay next to Sasuke, and cuddled up to the younger man.
Next morning, Chi awoke to a small tousle between puppies. She jumped up from the chair, displacing the calm Itachi. Kakuzu and Kisame were circling with each other, growling. Chi rolled her eyes, picking up both, and shaking them.
"Shut up, we have a guest!" she hissed, and both dogs curled up. Chi put them back down on the floor, and Sasuke woke up. "Good morning," Chi said.
"Chi? What happened last night? I remember drinking with Naruto, and getting really horny. But that was it. I was very deprived last night. We hadn't had sex since Naruto came back from Suna three days ago." Itachi hopped up to the couch, and growled at him a little bit.
"Why is this dog pissed at me?"
"I don't know," Chi lied.
"I know you know."
"I don't! This dog is completely unreadable." She knew that Itachi was slightly mad because Sasuke was talking about his sex life with Naruto to herself.
"So, Chi, do you have any aspirin? I have a pounding headache."
"You don't drink often, do you?" Chi inquired while going to the bathroom's medicine cabinet, and walked back out to the living room.
"No, I have awesome hangovers." Sasuke's voice was sarcastic. Chi put the two pills on the coffee table, and went into the kitchen to get him a glass of water. She put it in front of him, and Sasuke took the pills, rubbing his temples, and drinking it down. "Thank you."
"No problem," Chi said, sitting down again. The puppies whined at the door, begging to go out. "Want to help me walk them?" Sasuke nodded reluctantly. Chi got the collars and leashes off of the coat rack. "Each collar goes with the puppy's eyes." Sasuke nodded, and they put all the collars on quickly. Once done, Chi handed the leashes of Deidara, Tobi, Sasori, and Kisame. They stood dutifully by his feet. The rest, she held on her own, Itachi and Kakuzu's leashes in one hand and Hidan and Zetsu's in the other.
They headed out onto the street, and Chi turned right, Sasuke following beside her. The dogs pulled slightly at the leashes, and sniffed here and there for the perfect spot. Chi burst out laughing at the thought. Eight S-ranked criminals taking a piss on the street. Every dog and Sasuke looked at her. Chi wiped her eye, and shook her head.
"Okay," Sasuke said quietly. They continued the walk until Sasuke couldn't hold it anymore. "How do you think I could have sex with Naruto again?"
"Huh?" Chi asked. He had caught her unawares, and she needed him to repeat the question so she knew she heard him right. "Oh!" She thought about for a few seconds, and then had an idea. Hell, I dream about men enough to know what I'd do. "Alright, so what you do is—after he's off of his home-meeting—you want to pull him into bed and seduce him well enough. You know, rub against him and stuff. Then…. It's hard! I'm still a virgin, so I don't know!" Chi griped about revealing to the Akatsuki and Sasuke that she was still a virgin. Hidan yipped happily. She kicked him when Sasuke was looking away. Itachi nuzzled her shin lightly.
"So, Chi, did you have any dreams last night?"
"No, why do you ask?"
"I had this one where Itachi came back, and he was staring at me. I hid my face behind the blanket, so I don't know. You were sitting in a chair like it was fine."
"Oh? Really? It must've been a dream. Itachi died a long, long time ago and you had your revenge. Right?"
"Yeah, I saw the bastard die."
"So he's dead. Your dream was silly." They walked by Naruto and Sasuke's house, and the politicians came out as soon as they passed the doors. There was nowhere to go, and they were trapped. They were instantly swarmed by about five politicians. The rest ignored the two, and moved on.
"So, Lord Hokage's little fuck-buddy, huh?"
"You shame the Uchiha name. Instead of continuing the clan, you go with the Honorable Lord Hokage. He should be with a woman," another said.
"You're a traitor, just a toy for Orochimaru." Chi bristled with anger.
"And here you are with the Akatsuki girl, Chi." Itachi and Hidan growled. "And look! She has even more dogs! Her apartment must be dirty." Kakuzu, Zetsu, and Deidara started to growl. All their ears lay flat against their heads. Then, Naruto came out of the building. He had wanted to tell one of the politicians one more thing, but sighted Sasuke, Chi, and the dogs. He was pissed at the politicians. "Sasuke, Chi! What are you two doing here?" Naruto ran up to them, hugging Sasuke tightly. Chi smiled, and the puppies swarmed around the two men's feet.
"We were just walking the eight puppies that Konoha dumped on her doorstep."
"I like these puppies!" Naruto exclaimed, and bent down. He started to roughhouse with the eight dogs, and soon he was on all fours. The five politicians stared openly. Chi laughed behind her hand.
"Naruto, let's not do this on the street," Sasuke said, embarrassed. Chi kneeled down while Naruto stood up. She unhooked all of the leashes, and let most of the puppies run over to Naruto. Itachi hesitated, and looked up at Chi. She picked him up, and let him nestle into her chest. The politicians walked away, shaking their heads. The three adults and the puppies all walked into the huge Uchiha manor.
"You have two more!" Naruto exclaimed. "The black one in your arms, and the golden retriever." Chi nodded.
"Yeah, they don't go to the bathroom as much as the others do." It was a clone of last night. Naruto started to run around with the puppies, playing a sort of tag. Sasuke went to make tea, and Chi sat in the doorway with Itachi. Soon—while watching his friends—Itachi wanted to run around too, and silently asked Chi if it were all right. "Of course, Itachi-kun," Chi whispered. He got off her lap, and started to run around with his friends. Chi watched with a bit of amusement. When Sasuke came back with tea, Chi was already laughing. From off of the tray, Chi took her cup gratefully. Sasuke leaned against the other side of the doorway. Little did they all know that there was a rather large puddle in the yard, and Naruto was heading right for it. A crack sounded as two of the puppies hit water. Chi jumped up.
"What?" Sasuke asked, standing up. There was a yell from Naruto. Chi ran out into the yard, jumping in between a soaking wet Itachi and Kakuzu and a very pissed Naruto. Sasuke jumped forward, trying to get at the two wet men, but Chi held him back.
"STOP!" Chi yelled. Sasuke and Naruto stopped struggling. Itachi and Kakuzu stood up, shaking off the water from their bodies. Unfortunately, they had gotten their heads wet, which meant at least an hour of staying human. "They're not criminals anymore. They quit Akatsuki. All of them did. Let's go inside before someone sees us." Chi grabbed Sasuke and Naruto's hands, and led them inside. The rest of them followed, their tails between their legs. Kakuzu and Itachi went behind everyone, feeling completely guilty. Chi beckoned them up, and Kakuzu walked beside Sasuke, Itachi walking directly behind Chi. Naruto and Sasuke glared at him the whole time.
Once inside, Chi sat Naruto and Sasuke down on the couch, while Kakuzu and Itachi sat at the table. Kakuzu fiddled with his strings, and Itachi looked at the wood.
"Can Itachi and Kakuzu borrow a pair of sweat pants or something?"
"Go ahead," Naruto said. "I don't like their nakedness." Kakuzu and Itachi trotted into Naruto and Sasuke's room, and grabbed two pairs of sweatpants. Kakuzu put on a pair of bright orange ones—Naruto's—and Itachi wore a pair of black ones—Sasuke's. They fit them rather well. "Chi, would you like to tell us why you're harboring eight S-ranked Criminals in your home without telling us. That's treason, you know. I'm the Hokage, and I should tell Konoha about it."
"No, don't! Please. They're nice, if not for their attitudes."
"Itachi killed my whole clan," Sasuke deadpanned.
"Everyone but Itachi go outside." Chi commanded. The dogs couldn't resist the voice of an alpha. The different timber of her voice unsettled Naruto, and it took all of his will power not to run outside. "I have to tell something." Chi turned to Itachi, and waited for the others to go outside. "Itachi, may I tell them?"