Okay in the End

December 8, 2008

"Everything's going to be okay in the end, and if it's not okay, it's not the end." Promises made that were to never be kept, words spoken that would only prove to be false at the end of the day, last words spoken in a desperate attempt to keep the mind sane. Those were the last words he uttered to me before he made a mad dash into the woods to face down a madman. I stood rooted to the spot but only for a moment before the world around me came crashing back. I had a war to fight and win.

I suppose it's easier to understand my pain and regret if I explain why I am this way.

We fought in the final battle against what is considered the ultimate evil. We being Harry, Ron and myself of course. "The Golden Trio" was the favored nickname for us. Of course we all had our own nicknames outside of that, or at least what people wanted us to be. Harry was "the-boy-who-lived", "the- chosen- one" and finally "the-boy-who-concurred." I was known as the "smartest witch of her age" and Ron, well to honest Ron really didn't have a name in the media, though people at school jokingly called him "Weasley King" but that was besides the point I suppose. We fought for the side of the light in hopes of making a better world for ourselves and eventually our children. It was a grueling battle and both sides lost many people. In the end though the light side prevailed. Still I can't help but wonder where my life went so horribly wrong.

We had been fighting since dawn and it was late afternoon by the time Harry was to face Voldemort. I had followed him down to the Forbidden Forest in hopes of helping him fight Voldemort. I should have known he would never let me put myself in that kind of danger. He had this "saving people thing" even if the person didn't want to be saved. So there we stood at the edge of the forest looking at each other wonder where this was going to go.

"Harry promise me you'll come back alive. Promise me that everything will be okay in the end." I pleaded with him. He looked at me for a minute before I continued, "Harry I'm telling you this now, not because I don't think you'll make it but because I hope it gives you a reason to come back alive, I love you. I have always loved you and I will always love you."

Harry looked at me and a smile broke out on his face. "I love you too Hermione, I always have and always will. And I promise everything's going to be okay in the end, and if it's not okay, it's not the end." With that said he gave me a kiss and ran off into the woods in search of a madman hell bent on killing him. It would be the last time anyone saw Harry Potter awake and alert.

Three hours I waited with bated breath for him to return to me. I waited in vain. His body was recovered two hours after the end of the battle, he was barely breathing and unconscious. Voldemort was dead, his wand snapped and his Death Eaters taken into custody or dead. Harry was taken to the medical wing in hopes that a little rest and some potions would heal him and he would wake. For three week I never left his side, I did everything in my power to make sure he would be okay. That final night was the hardest night of my life. I sat beside his bed as I had been doing, holding his hand and talking to him. Telling him about this and that, things that had happen since the "Final Battle" as the papers had dubbed it. Not a very original name if you asked me, they could have come up with something a little better. I had also been reading the newspaper to him, keeping him updated on scores and such. It was getting to the part of the evening where I would get ready for bed. I leaned over and kissed him on his forehead and whispered I loved him, as I turned around to get my things he let out his last breath. There was a shuttering pause on my part before I started screaming for someone to help me.

Madam Pomfrey came out two hours after everything had happened to give me the news, he was gone for good. I lost it. I spent hours crying and asking myself if there was something I could have done to prevent it from happening.

"Everything's going to be okay in the end, and if it's not okay, it's not the end." Those words echoed in my head over and over again. He had lied to me, it was over and nothing was okay. He was dead, gone from my life forever and there wasn't a damn thing I could do to stop it. I cried even harder, rocking myself back and forth. Ron, bless his heart, tried to help. He came as soon as he got the news. He held me and tried to make it better but nothing short of Harry coming back would help.

The funeral was two days later. It was a sunny day, I'm not sure if this was a good thing or a bad thing in all honesty. I stood with all the Weasley's as we watched Harry's casket being lowered into the ground. I had no more tears to cry, so I stood completely still and prayed this was a nightmare or a bad joke. I wanted Harry to so badly push the lid off the casket and jump out to tell us he was just kidding. I knew that would never happen but I wished so much that it would. With a dull thump the casket touched the bottom of the grave, to me the sound was deafening. I glanced one last time at his tomb stone,

Harry James Potter

A loyal and brave friend,

love in death,

rest in deserved peace

Every year for 80 years I returned to that grave to lay flowers. I married, and had several children but I never loved a man the way I loved Harry. Today was my 97th birthday; I had visited his grave one last time. Last night I laid my head down to sleep and never woke again in the land of the living. I woke instead to see Harry 17 year old face smiling at me. I knew I had died and was reunited with my one true love. We embraced and I knew everything was going to be okay in the end. Harry looked at me and uttered those words again, "Everything's going to be okay in the end, and if it's not okay, it's not the end."

I smiled at him and said "Everything okay now, it's the end."