Begun and ended in response to December 2007 challenges on perfectlyplum. One of my earliest stories. Very short chapters, but fun!

Disclaimer: Not mine, not making any money. Characters belong to Janet Evanovich.

WARNING: Adult situations, nakedness, bad language. But fun!

Christmas Morning

By Dee


My awakening was slow and painful. Oh, God.

My mouth was the Sahara, all sand, no moisture whatsoever, hot wind blowing through it. Crap. That was my breath, mouth-breathing because my nose was completely plugged up. And the taste… Eeuw! I thanked my lucky stars I couldn't smell it.

My head felt like it was riding in Lula's car, pulsating with the engine, pounding with the beat of the hiphop roaring out of the speakers. Even though the room was silent.

And I was naked.

I cracked open an eye a teeny, tiny bit, trying to figure out where the hell I was. Thank God it was dim and cool in here. No bright lights to laser my brain into tiny pieces.

Oh, Ranger's bed. I didn't know what to think of that. I didn't remember how I got here.

I gasped as a noise sounded right in my ear. A low groan. It scared the crap out of me, and all of a sudden my heart was palpitating in counterpoint to the throbbing of my head.

It's not Halloween, is it? So it can't be a ghost. I think it's Christmas.

I turned my head a little bit, keeping my movements very slow so as not to increase the pounding, and peered toward the noise. All I could see was a lump under the covers topped by a red fuzzy hat with a white pompon on the long tail.

Am I sleeping with Santa?

As I looked, my bleary brain trying to emerge from the wooliness within, strong brown fingers emerged and drew the covers down just far enough to reveal a very red, round nose.


"Babe," groaned a voice, a voice I recognized.

Oh, it was all starting to make sense now. Ranger's bed, so it must be Ranger next to me.

I slid a tentative hand over and touched skin. Bare skin.

I moved the hand around a bit.

Oh, God. Naked Ranger.

"Babe," came the groan again. "Much as I want to ravage your body right now, I think I need some aspirin first."

"Me, too." Was that my voice? It sounded more like a gravel truck.

What the hell was I doing here? The last thing I remembered was going with Joe to the Cop Hop, the Trenton PD's annual Christmas Eve party.

Another groan came from the man beside me. "Dios, I knew I shouldn't have had the eggnog."

Oh, yeah, the eggnog…