DISCLAIMER: I do not own 'Naruto'. All rights belong to Masashi Kishimoto. I only own my OC's-whoever appears-and this particular fanfic. Thank you.
TLC-To Love Chaos
'WEET WEET WEET WEET'-
"We're under attack!"
"Man the exits! Get some soldiers on those fires! Someone call the prison! And shut off that goddamn alarm! Stupidest waste of 5,000 bucks I've ever heard of!"
The kingdom of Hokage was under siege. A notorious village of rogues known as Sound had finally attacked, after all of the bad blood that had built up over the years. And unlike what everyone was expecting, they were actually prepared and well-armed. Hokage had been knocked for a loop.
"The Hokage! Where's the Hokage?" The captain of the second ANBU team, a fierce purple haired woman named Mitarashi Anko, rushed up to one of the lower subordinates. "Well? Tell me!"
"A-aah! She-she and the-Toad Sannin-they're at the-the laboratories!" At this, she dropped the dizzy figure. He scrambled away into the warfare-battles had nothing on a pissed off Anko.
"Figures. Shit." She began running, hoping to God that the enemy forces hadn't reached them yet.
"Damn it! How do you lock this thing?"
The Hokage, her husband and a scientist were crowded into a small room, and the ruler was currently trying to seal off the door.
"La-Hokage-sama, the door will not lock without the code!" Shizune, the head of the research and Science department, rushed over and placed a hand on her arm. "I have it and can punch it in, but will you please settle down?"
"Settle down? Shove off! Just do it already!" She huffed, and headed over to the corner where her perv of a husband, Jiraiya, currently sat. She crossed her arms, and a loose strand of blonde hair fell into her eyes. He chuckled, while she glared.
"And just what is so funny? You ass-it's your kingdom too!"
"Ah, but I know the secrets to relaxation! And besides," he said as he tucked the fallen lock of pale gold behind her ear, "don't you have any faith in your armies? Your ANBU teams?"
"Frankly, no. Not when we're caught off guard like this." She scowled. He sighed. "Whatever." Pulling out a small orange book from inside his robes, he leaned against the metal wall and began to read. She groaned in exasperation. "You and your porno novels! Tell me again why I married you?"
He grinned. "Because-I have a big-"
She grabbed his collar. "That last word had better be 'brain'."
He shrugged, confident grin replaced with sheepish smile. "Well, that too." She let him go roughly.
"Oi! Shizune!" The younger woman turned her head. "Are you sure that the 'special' section will be safe?"
"Yes, Hokage-sama. No one should be able to reach her."
Tsunade breathed out in a deep sigh. Jiraiya wrapped an arm around her shoulders comfortingly. "There, there. She'll be okay. They won't get to her."
"I hope so." Her eyes were foggy with a new fear and despair. "I…I don't want to lose another one."
"Jeez…for all the fuckin' money they wasted on that shitty alarm, you'd think that some of it would've gone to their doors and security, ne? Fuckers don't know how to prioritize."
A young girl with fiery locks stood at the entrance to a darkened room. Vials, tubes, shelves and the like lined the expanse. She took a few steps inside.
"Yeech. A total nerd's paradise. Kabuto would love it here." She picked up a scrap of paper off of one of the desks, and after a few moments of reading threw it back down in disgust. "Math-I fucking hate math."
'BLUB' "Huh?" The strange sound caught the female's attention. She turned to the left. Curtains hung from a rod attached to the ceiling. A faint glowing was emanating from underneath their edges. It seemed rather odd to have curtains in the middle of a room, when they really belonged over a window. She marched over, and yanked them open.
A large clear tube was extending up from the ground. The top and bottom were encased in metal, and many wires were running to and from the bizarre container. A computer was flashing the same message across the screen-'Sleep Mode Engaged for Subject no. 213.' Apparently this was referring to the being behind the glass…
"Fucking trippy, man." The foul-mouthed female stepped closer, and placed a hand against its surface. It was pleasantly warm.
Inside the tube was a young girl, suspended in strange blue liquid. Her long, blond hair was pulled into a high ponytail, and swirled around her heart shaped face. Even with the unusual glow being cast upon her features, she was still quite attractive, long legs pulled up against her chest, arms wrapped around her limbs. Her long eyelashes grazed her high cheekbones, and her pale skin was flawless. The observer cocked her head.
"Damn…that's one hot bitch," she finally spoke after a few more moments of stunned silence.
"Wonder why they've got her all bottled up, though…" She focused on the many cords extending from the gigantic cylinder. "Maybe she's some kinda experiment?" She tapped her knuckles against the glass.
"Maybe she's some kinda secret weapon or something?" She furrowed her brow.
"Ah, well." She made her way back to the entrance. "Doesn't really seem like there's anything Leader would like in here-'specially not a piece o' twat." She chuckled at the memory of how she'd first discovered that Orochimaru was more inclined towards the 'masculine side of life', as someone so tactfully put it.
"Okay. Time to blow this place up sky-high." She reached around to her belt, and pulled off a small red ball with a tag. She blew a kiss towards the still bubbling vial and sleeping girl before throwing the bomb and hightailing it out of there. "Sayonara."
'KA-BOOM' 'CRASH' 'THOOM'
'WEE-OOO' 'WEE-OOO' 'WEE-OOO'
"Jeez! What now?"
Anko's head darted up. She was on the third floor of the medical building-she still had at least ten or more to travel before she reached the Science section. But that explosion…
'CRKLE' 'CLNK' A few pieces of plaster hit her head as well as the floor, and her eyes narrowed. Not a good sign. She began running as fast as possible, covering three more floors in record time.
When she reached the sixth floor however, she came face-to-face with…
"Tayuya!" The name passed her lips sharply. Her eyes were wide, but vengeful, as she focused on the flame-haired female before her. She grinned.
"Heh heh. Well, well, well. Look what the cat dragged in. If it ain't Anko-bitch. The Sound traitor."
Anko gritted her teeth. "The one and only. Where is the Hokage?"
Tayuya shrugged. "Hell if I know. I just came here to see if that fucking whore was keeping anything good. But there's absolutely nothing that Orochimaru-sama would give two shits about. So, I'm gonna torch the place." She fingered her belt of explosives longingly.
"Like hell you are!" A kunai knife flew from Anko's fingers, and Tayuya had to dodge quickly to her right in order to avoid losing an eye. It just barely grazed her head.
"Hey! That's dirty pool! Give me a chance to prepare, you ugly shit!" Tayuya's eyes were blazing with fury, as she pulled out another bomb. Anko responded with another kunai. This time, it sliced the other female's arm. "Not on your life."
"Fuck you! I don't have time to deal with this anyway!" She grabbed another bomb from around her waist and threw it. This time though, it was a smoke bomb. Anko coughed, as Tayuya's laughter faded away. "Later, you fucking reject!" When the smoke cleared, Tayuya was gone. Anko cursed, slamming her fist into the wall.
"AAAHHH!" The sudden scream startled her out of her rage. "Tsunade-sama." She bounded up the stairs, all thoughts of revenge gone from her mind. Her duty to the Hokage was once again her top priority.
"No! No! NO! No fucking way! Why?"
Tsunade was completely unhinged, smashing her powerful punches through the remaining walls of the blown out laboratory building. The cylinder that had held the sleeping female was gone.
"Hokage-sama"- Shizune began. The woman turned on her.
"YOU! You said she'd be safe! What the hell, huh? She's gone now! There's nothing left! Nothing!" She swung her arm back, preparing to send her fist flying into the brunette's face. Jiraiya quickly stepped in, and blocked the blow. Tsunade glowered at him-how dare he deny her her fury!
"Tsunade, knock it off. Yes, you're angry, you're hurt. So am I. But Shizune is not the one to blame."
"I-I'm sorry, Hokage-sama-they blew the door off of the frame with some kind of custom explosive! I wasn't prepared for that"-
"Shizune." The older male's tone silenced her instantly. She hung her head. He returned his attention to his distraught wife. "Tsunade. Look at me." It took some coaxing, but the blonde finally raised her deep brown eyes to meet his own.
"She's not dead. She's just missing. We can't be certain of anything until we find her…or her body." He gulped at this last comment, as his gaze landed upon the muted scientist. "You said that the 'Eject' mechanism had been activated?"
"Y-yes." She shook her head frantically. "It was supposed to send her to the designated base, but the instructions panel became scrambled in the explosion. So…"
"So where is she?" Tsunade muttered. Her head was drooped once more. Jiraiya patted her shoulder.
"Well…she could be anywhere." The blonde groaned. "B-but don't worry! She has a tracker!" The woman's head shot up sharply. "A tracker?"
"Yes…once she lands, we should be able to trace her and pinpoint her location. Whether or not she's alive…well, that's a whole other matter." Shizune inhaled, bracing herself just in case the Slug Sannin decided to pop her one.
"Alright. I'll organize a group to monitor the tracking system. The mainframe for that wasn't destroyed, right?" The calm response was startling. Tsunade lifted her head, familiar determination evident in her eyes. The scientist nodded. "No, it's fine. I have the main controls for that. Give me a couple of days, and I can get it set up and rearranged on a larger scale." Tsunade merely returned the nod.
Jiraiya released his hold upon her. "That's the spirit! You'll see-everything'll turn out fine. She'll be home before you know it."
"Yeah. Just fine and friggin' dandy." She wiped her brow. "Jeez-I hope the ANBU can drive Sound out of here soon. I really need a drink." She lifted her head, eyes now glistening with unshed tears. For all her yelling, she hadn't cried at all. Her face was damp because of sweat.
"'Sigh' Wherever you may be…I hope you're safe…Ino."
"Augh! For the last time, Tori-NO!"
It was noon on a Wednesday. Down a side street, a pink haired female was desperately trying to shrug off the advances of a dark haired male who didn't seem to understand the meaning of the word 'no', however you put it to him. And she had tried many various languages.
"Aww, come on Saku, why not?" He brushed a long strand of black hair away from his face, and attempted what seemed to be puppy dog eyes. In his case, it made him look like he was going to be sick.
The female groaned. She had reached an apartment complex. Her room was just up two flights of stairs…salvation awaited behind that wooden door.
She just had to get away from this obsessed fool first.
"Tori, I already told you not to call me that! And I'm not looking for a relationship right now, either!" Her boots hit the foot of the stairs, and she began flying up, two at a time. Tori continued to follow.
"Ah, that's what they all say! Trust me-I'll treat you right! We can go out for lunch, or dinner-hey, you like movies? There's a Vampire flick out right now!"
She had reached the top of the second floor, and started making her way up to the third. "Sorry, not a Vamp lover. And I don't like people watching me stuff food into my mouth."
"Well, we could go hang out at the mall! Maybe browse around? I bet they've got some nice bling in the jewelry shops!"
The pinkette wanted to tear her hair out. Now he was starting to sound like a desperate teen! She quickened her pace, as fast as it would go, and pounded her way up to the top. Her door was just five rooms away!
"No, I'm not a mallrat. Sorry to burst your bubble. And I don't wear 'bling', or any jewelry for that matter." Seriously, who had coined that stupid term anyway? Three doors down...
"You don't have to be a mallrat to enjoy it! Come on Saku, just give me a chance! But if you really don't like the mall, maybe we could go clubbing?"
At this moment, all she wanted to do was club this idiot over the head for not taking a hint. But violence wasn't the answer-besides, if she ended up in jail, she probably wouldn't be able to pay the fines.
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, she had reached the familiar doorway to her tiny abode. Who cared how big it was? All she was focused on was getting rid of Kasuga Tori.
Come on, come on! Keys! She was frantically searching through her purse, while Tori continued hovering far too close for comfort, trying to elicit a reaction from her. Oh, he would get a reaction, all right…a fist in his face.
Gotcha! Her fingers had finally clasped around the tiny metal, the only things that kept her from freedom and peace. She shoved the key into the lock and began turning it.
"Please, Saku! At least give me your number? So I can call you sometime?"
'CLICK' The door swung inward. The female quickly slipped through the space before it had even fully opened. She tried to close it, but Tori had used his foot as a doorstop, and was now trying to squeeze his head in. "Come on, Saku! I love you!"
"No you don't!" The words that passed her lips came out much harsher than she expected. She pressed her shoulder against the wooden barrier. "And if you don't move now, I'm going to crush you, and it's your own fault if anything gets severed!" Yes, it was an impossible threat. But she needed something to drive him off!
Strangely enough, it worked. The male paused for but a second, and that was all it took. She shoved him, and he stumbled backwards. She slammed the door, and the furious clicking of locks could be heard even through the thick wood. She breathed a sigh of relief.
There was silence for a few moments. Then…
"Alright, so I'll see you tomorrow, Saku-chan! Don't forget my offer!" She could hear his footsteps echoing as he skipped-yes, skipped-away along the open hallway and down the stairs.
"Jesus Christ! Can you be any thicker?"
Nineteen year old Haruno Sakura stood in her living room, running a hand through her short, bright pink locks. She kicked off her boots and threw her purse aside carelessly. It landed on a plain blue recliner. She headed into her kitchen, and opened up the fridge. After pulling out a can of iced tea, she settled down in a plastic chair, and picked up a remote control, flicking on a TV set.
She'd already had to deal with two tests that day-one in Biology, the other in Human Resources. They'd both been painful and, although she'd studied into the wee hours of the morning, she couldn't help feeling like she had completely bombed. Lack of sleep tended to increase feelings of paranoia. She should know that by now-she was, after all, studying the medical field. She planned to become a nurse. But the main point was, she didn't need to deal with a thickheaded lump that couldn't get it through his head that she just didn't wish to start a relationship with him-or anyone else-of any kind.
'CLICK' "Bleagh. I hate soap operas." She changed the channel, only to run into another one. And then another. And then some paid programming.
"AARGH! Forget this!" She shut the tiny TV off, and stood up, wandering into her small room. It was a mess, with clothes scattered all over the floor, along with various books and papers. Stepping over the piles, she placed her unfinished can on the nightstand, and collapsed onto her bed. The frame creaked-it was second hand, and very worn-as she buried her face in the pillows and plush figures.
"I didn't get any shut-eye last night…may as well make up for it now." It wasn't like she had anymore classes that day, or a work shift at the bookstore-she could afford a rest. No; she needed one.
Slowly her lids drooped, casting a shadow over her vibrant green eyes, and turning them to a shade of deep forest.
Within minutes, she was asleep.
"Man, I can't wait to sink my teeth into that burger…"
It was around 5:00 pm, and Sakura was locking the door to her apartment. She'd woken up a few minutes ago, with a grumbling stomach. After looking through her fridge and cupboard and finding nothing suitable, she'd decided to head out to the nearby fast food joint and pick up a meal. Yeah, it wasn't the healthiest choice, but who cared? She deserved a treat. And besides, she had the money; she could afford to indulge a little.
She had reached the bottom of the first flight of stone stairs and was now making her way down the second set, to the ground level. She could almost taste the juicy meat and melting cheese…
'WHRRRMM…' "Uh?" She looked up. What was that? A plane? No, the sky was empty. Clear too. So it couldn't be thunder. She chose to ignore it, and continued on her way.
But as she passed the neighborhood park, she heard the sound yet again, and looked up once more to the cloudless sky. This time, however…
"What the…what the heck is that?" A small object of some kind seemed to be making its way down from the heavens. She squinted. Was it an aircraft? No, it was too thin. A kite, perhaps? Or a bird?
"It's getting closer…" The more space the strange object traveled, the larger it got, and the more detailed it became. Sakura blinked.
"Wha…holy crap-it looks like a person!" Now she was transfixed, as the being continued its decent. Closer and closer it came to Earth, growing ever larger in her vision, as it plummeted towards her lone figure…
Wait-closer to her?
Yes-it was headed directly towards her! And she was too stunned to move.
Oh, what now? 'WHUMP'
The last thing she'd seen before being struck with the full force of a falling body was a glimpse of pure ivory and flowing gold.
Sakura blinked, as the world slowly came back into focus.
She was on her back in the dirt, and she was having trouble breathing. Plus, there was a girl on her chest, and her head was aching, along with her stomach. And-
Whoa. Hold on there. Back up a minute!
Her green orbs widened, as she realized exactly what she'd just said-there was a girl lying on top of her! It took all of her self control to keep from screaming.
Somehow, someway, a female had fallen from the sky, and landed upon her. And neither of them were dead from the impact-well, at least Sakura wasn't. She felt the pain in her spine, ribs, and head, so that was as sure a sign as any that she was still alive. The other, however…
Tentatively, Sakura reached up a hand, and poked a finger into the curled figure's shoulder. It was soft and smooth. Her skin was flawless. She blushed, as the girl shifted slightly. Her long golden locks fell over her bare flesh, and her hands, clenched into tiny fists, began to subconsciously clutch at the pinkette's sweater.
And that was when Sakura realized that the girl wasn't wearing any clothes.
A/N: Hello! Kami-Inu here, with yet ANOTHER fanfic for your reading pleasure! This was mainly created as A.) An outlet to turn to when my Writer's Block gets really brutal, and B.) an apology to all those who follow my other fanfic 'Cherry BombHearts Away!', and helped me out during a bad time.
I probably won't be updating this one on a steady basis, but there WILL be updates. And of course if you enjoy it, please let me know!
It's another romantic humor, only the rating has been upped-from T to M. Yeah...I'll do my best. This is only my second M-rated fic, so-bear with me. :P And, yes, it's a SakuxIno InoxSaku Yuri. I apologize now for the crazy character pairings and whatnot-this was a VERY random, spur of the moment idea, and I just wrote it out as it came to me. Hopefully, it works.
But yeah-this isn't really cannon...In time, more will be explained. If my Writer's Block starts kicking in again. Or if I get enough of a response. For now, I will simply say: The kingdom of 'Hokage' exists because 'Konoha' was already taken. (Plus, the Hokage was a bit full of themselves at the time...) And don't worry-'C BH A!' chapter 7 is halfway completed. I'm NOT going to give up on it. Alright, again, feedback is loved and appreciated.