Naruto and its characters © Masashi Kishimoto
Crack? You decide.
Gaara glances up from his desk to look at Rock Lee. Lee is sitting on the floor with his legs crossed. His hands are pressed firmly on his knees. His eyes are closed in concentration with his lips pressed tight together and dragged downward. Gaara stands up and stretches his arms. Being the Kazekage isn't as exciting as it seems. Most of his duties involve sitting for hours without end to approve papers. Gaara has read more during his short term as the leader of Suna than his whole life combined. He's starting to miss the picture books of his childhood. It is for that reason Gaara strolls next to Lee and sits down on the floor with him. Lee will be a stress-reliever for him.
Lee opens his eyes and grins at his companion. He scoots behind Gaara and starts to give the Kazekage a much-needed backrub. Gaara allows himself to give a moan of approval. Lee's strong hands are excellent for massages and he knows Gaara's body well enough to know which exact spots need attention.
"What were you thinking?" Gaara closes his eyes as Lee works out the knots in his back.
"I was wondering how I should introduce you to my friends."
"What do you mean?"
"Now that we are together, I have to refer to you as my special someone."
"I considered introducing you as my lover." Lee presses his thumbs on Gaara's temples.
"Lover…? Who said I love you?"
"Right… Right." Lee grins sheepishly. Gaara is still shy when it comes to the whole love thing. "Then, perhaps I will you call my boyfriend, though I do not like the term very much."
"Why is that?"
"Boyfriends are temporal. I do not like that. We are in a serious relationship."
"Hmph." Gaara lets out another moan as Lee runs his fingers through his hair.
"What about partners?"
"No. Partners imply equality." Gaara turns his head and narrows his eyes. "We're not equal. I own you."
"Of course you do," Lee humors the Kazekage with an amused smile.
"What else is there?"
"Let me think… I cannot call you my spouse since we are not married." Lee pauses then adds, "Yet."
"Keep dreaming," Gaara scoffs.
Lee moves his hands to Gaara's lower back and applies the appropriate amount of pressure. Gaara lets his eyes close again as Lee's fingers work their magic on his sore muscles.
"You are my darling, my honey, my baby, my sweetheart," Lee coos.
"You wouldn't dare," Gaara grunts.
"If you have an idea, I would love to hear it."
Gaara furrows his non-existing brows. He holds his chin with his index finger and thumb as he walks through all the possible selections in his mind. Lee has covered many of them but there has got to be more terms to refer to two people in a relationship. An idea strikes him suddenly. He thinks it over in his head. He likes it. It's appropriate to describe his relationship with Rock Lee. He blurts it out.
"… WHAT!?" Lee jolts like he has been struck by lightning.
"You'll introduce me as your butt buddy."
"No, no, I cannot do that! No, it is…! NO!" Lee flails his arms in the air in embarrassment.
"First of all, I cannot introduce the Kazekage of Sunagakure as my… 'butt buddy'! It is vulgar and degrading to you."
"I don't mind."
"Secondly, it suggests that we are only in a sexual relationship… that we are…"
"Friends with benefits," Gaara finishes the sentence. "You don't like 'butt buddies'?"
"Please STOP saying that word!" Lee shrieks. He takes a deep breath and clears his throat. "Gaara, I trust that we share something more precious than fleshly bonds."
"We'll be butt buddies for life."
"For life…?" Lee perks up. "Really? You mean it…?"
"Yes. You won't have another one." Gaara tilts his head and glares at Lee threateningly.
"Of course I will not!" Lee wraps his arms around the Kazekage and pulls him close. "You are my one and only butt buddy! My youthful butt buddy!"
"Good." Gaara lifts his head up. With a coy smile, he asks, "How about we do some butt buddies-related activities now?"
"N-No! You are supposed to finish your work." Lee flushes. "Temari-san swill have my head if---"
Gaara seals Lee's mouth with his own. He pulls away and licks his lips seductively. He stands up and works on removing his bothersome robe. "I work fast."
"Right…" Lee reaches for the back zipper of his green jumpsuit.
Gaara leans on top of Lee. Their mouths clash. Gaara pries Lee's mouth open and invites himself in the moist orifice. Lee's hands meander through Gaara's heating body. The Kazekage saddles the jounin and spreads the muscular legs wide. Lee pauses the kissing and steals a breath to speak.
"What if I can call you 'my better-half'?"
"Shut up and fuck me already."
Boyue's Note: "Butt buddies" come from the cartoon South Park. In response to gay marriage rights, the governor of Colorado says instead of being "married", homosexuals will be "butt buddies". xDD
Something lighter to ease your mind. : )