Okay. I wrote this last night when I woke up from a nightmare about a bus. Just in case you were wondering. Also this is f r i e n d s h i p, not romance that they broke up from. And this goes out to the lovely Jacky because she's amazing and always so supportive!

I can't wear lip gloss anymore

No I'm stuck to lipstick

Why?

Because every time I swipe on lip gloss

All I can think of is you

And how fucking obsessive you were with it

And how we used to laugh and giggle about it

(Because I was supposed to be the girly one)

And now

Now I can't use it anymore

Not even Sexy Motherpucker

Which is simply amazing

And you took that from me

You took a lot of things from me

I eat Taco Bell now

(Religiously)

Because you loved it

And I hated it

And some of my best memories

Are of that stupid drive through

I don't go to the beach anymore

I've never really liked the beach

Sand and dirt and lake water

Never really my thing

But you loved the beach

We would get up early

Another thing I despised

And you'd grab your towel and bathing suit

I usually would be towing two bags

At least

Cosmo, Seventeen, Us Weekly, Modern Bride

Tanning oil, sun screen, two pairs of sunglasses

(In every color)

Four water bottles, Gatorade, nail polish

And you would laugh

"Don't you ever just enjoy being?"

"Being what?"

"Just being"

"I'm a little more productive than that"

And you'd roll your eyes

And I'd roll mine

But we'd smile and you'd grab one of the magazines

I prefer pools now where cabana boys tend to my every whim

(I always was the bitch)

I don't listen to country anymore

Which is fine

I never did like it much

But there always was

A few songs I liked

(Adored)

I'm sure you know them

We would croon them at the top of our lungs

With the windows down

(I didn't even bitch about the tangles)

And we'd promise that as soon as we were eighteen

We'd be the next American Idols

(Such a fucking lame show)

But that's okay

I'm back to Britney Spears

I always was

A Pop Princess

(And you were always so damn quirky)

But I truly sincerely

Utterly

Hope

That I wasn't the only one that lost things

I hope that you can't smell

Juicy Couture perfume

Without thinking of me

(Because I'd always spritz some onto you too)

I hope that you can't go eat Chinese food

Without remembering

How I obsessed over the fortunes

(How come all the bad ones come true?)

I hope you can't stand going to the airport

Because all you can remember is my face

(How I loved to give stories to the faces)

And I hope you can't hear this song

The song that plays behind me

As I do what I'm about to do

Without remembering that you were the one

To really kill me

(Don't worry it's on repeat)