Six long years... I thought while sitting on our old porch. I've been gone for six very long and very miserable years. I cant believe i left, at the time I have no one to blame, but myself. I told everyone it was for her own good, I didn't care anymore, she deserves better, but the truth was that I was scared. I've never been in this deep with anyone, human or vampire. I was (still am) so in love with Bella that I was scared. I couldn't, wouldn't change her. To save Bella I had to let her go, let her live a life, go to college, get married, have babies, something I could never give her. I was a monster, a true monster i didn't want to taint my beautiful Bella. Plus I had to track Victoria, I owed it to Bella. Its been a very unsuccessful six years at that.
Upon arriving back to forks, I ran into Angela working in the pharmacy at the hospital. I needed to see Bella, I needed a purpose for being back. Its been six years, I could say I graduated from med. school it wouldn't be a lie, I did about fifty years ago. After the interview and talks about how my father has been and if he would be coming back too, I decided to have a look around to see how much this small town hospital has changed. That's when I ran into Angela Webber. After little small talk about how college was, what we've been doing in the last six years and much to my surprise, her up coming wedding to Ben Cheney. I pulled from her thoughts that Bella still lived in forks, still lived in the same house and still has yet to graduate from the local community college. I'll admit these three things scared me, I didn't want my leaving to be for nothing. I worried that Angela would tell Bella i was back, no wait Angela wouldn't do that, i remember how she used to be in high school.
"Does Bella know you're back yet", she had asked me nervously, "I shouldn't tell her, I'm no Jessica, he needs to let her know though, should i tell her? Poor Edward, poor bella. They were so in love, what ever happened. Why did they leave? Why is he back?" Angela was such a kind person.
"No Bella doesn't know, I just got back. I was wondering if she was still here. Well i have things to attend to, it was nice seeing you again Angela."
"You too Edward." "He looks so young, wow he looks good, Bella is going to freak out if she sees him", I heard her thinking as I walked away.
"Edward is it ok if I look yet?", Alice asked pulling me out of my thoughts.
"I don't know yet Alice, I'm too afraid, what if she's not the same Bella?", I asked my voice shaking, it seemed to be doing that a lot lately.
"Edward its been six years, she's not going to be the same, she did what you wanted her to, she had a life."
"Ok Alice, sit down and look."
After bouncing up and down and clapping, Alice hopped down one step, sat down and closed her eyes. I too closed my eyes and waited to see what happened to my Bella.
"No Edward she's not yours anymore, she's someone else's, you where to big of a coward and now she's someone else's." The monster in my head told me.
"No, she's mine she'll always be mine, always." I replied to the monster, he just laughed at me. Shaking it off I tried focusing back on Alice, but she couldn't see anything. I opened my eyes and glanced over at her, her hands flew to her temples and she closed her eyes even harder. "Its black I cant see anything, maybe because I haven't connected with her in six years." "...thanks to someone.", she added in her head
"Maybe...I need to go for a walk Alice, I need to think." She had to know i was lying because she said, "I wanna come too Edward, I wanna see my sister too!"
"No Alice. I'm just going to look. I saw Angela, I'm afraid that she'll tell bella we're back. If she does I want to tell her first, I don't want her to find out from someone else."
"Whatever you say edward." Alice growled and ran inside. Angela wasn't going to tell her, we both knew that.
Running to Bella's house felt so natural and yet made my nonbeating heart ache more then it has in the last 113 years. "Ok edward remember, she's not the same bella, she's older, has a life, maybe a husband, maybe even a baby." Just thinking of her, with another man made me growl, made me want to knock down the whole forest, to find the man and kill him, rip him to shreds. No that's not me, its the monster talking, Bella is just doing what i told her to do, living.
Finally the house came into view and i could of sworn my heart fluttered in my chest for the first time since i was 17...well 17 the first time. I didn't see Bella's old truck in the drive way or Charlie's cruiser, but a green jetta,looks like the truck finally died. I didn't know what to do, should i knock?- is the bedroom window still childish?- should i stand out in the yard? I didn't want to be too stalkerish, so i climbed the tree facing the kitchen and waited. As it turned out it was the right place to sit, it was six and i noticed Bella in the kitchen getting dinner together. I smelled raw chicken and my stomach rolled. Is she cooking for Charlie? Herself? Friends? A man?
Every time a car would pass, I'd wait for it to pull into Bella's drive way and a handsome human man hop out, grab the car seat from the back and walk into his loving wife. But it didn't happen, i lost focus because the next moment i heard a car door shutting and his thoughts entered my mind.
"I wonder what my beautiful wife is making for dinner.", his thoughts hit me and i wanted to cry. A man, there was another man. I've never sat so still in my long miserable life. I waited, sat and looked in the window at my beautiful sweet Bella. That's when I saw him, he silently walked up behind her, covered her eyes and kissed her cheek. She giggled, turned around and kissed him.
"Jacob Black, don't scare me like that ever again!", she said playfully hitting his arm. Jacob Black... Jacob Black....then it clicked. She was married to my enemy, Jacob Black.