Spoilers: through Breaking Dawn
Synopsis: This is a tale about Renesmee & Jacob's life after Nessie has gained maturity. How does Jacob's imprinting affect them? Who does Nessie become? And what of the perils of being a member of her rare race? I hope I have done them justice.
Chapter 1 - Homecoming
Words are ineffective, finite. They can travel distances, great distances; but my way is so much clearer and more intimate. No one can say "I love you", "I missed you", "I'm so happy to see you" quite like I can. No one can tell the truth so utterly as I. If only the entire world were within my reach to speak with.
I love you, I touched his cheek, so warm beneath my hand. I missed you.... like this, I tilted my head to look into his eyes though they saw elsewhere. I'm so very happy to see you, through my touch I showed him how wonderful he'd looked to me when I got home and he swept me into his strong, too hot arms. I could imagine no love that smoldered quite like Jacob's. I could remember no time in my life where that love was absent. He'd been there from the beginning and never wavered. Utter devotion. Who could ask for more?
Through my hands I conveyed to him images, emotions, thoughts and things I had heard since I last saw him. In flashes and clips he traveled with me through the last month I had been away. I knew it had been agonizing for him. I hoped this made up for it, in some small way. Did he understand how safe I'd been? No troubles.
His firm fiery lips pressed against mine, his dark eyes looming in front of me. I put my other hand on his face as well and threw myself into this second greeting. Yes, that had been enough it seemed. And while my communication was always absolute truth, it had been enough also not to share all of the details. Not to share Nahuel. There was no sense in angering, or saddening, him over that.
After some time his stomach growled, rumbling against me where our torsos pressed together. I pulled away with a giggle. It was a girlish giggle still, although I was now as fully grown as anyone believed I would be, but the laughter in his eyes showed me as always how much he enjoyed the sound of it. I wanted to throw myself back into his loving kisses but when the man was hungry there was no denying him.
"Lets hunt." I said to him, fire igniting in my eyes with the thirst I felt myself. I hadn't had anything since days before I left Brazil and it had been a long trip home to La Push. And what a pain it had been spending so long with the Amazons, smelling the human blood on them. The stolen blood, not donated. I wondered, had my family not been there with us, would I have hunted with them? Would I have fed, but not killed? I had that power, that so few had, only 3 others I knew of. I wondered about them, dearly wanted to meet them.
Hhmm, deer. We were in the dense evergreen forest east of the La Push reservation when I caught the scent of a herd. Jacob must have caught it some time ago, I realized following closely on his tail, literally, as he led the way in his wolf form. He beat me to them. I cursed myself for getting distracted. It had been months since my last win against Jacob. Was I getting slower in my old age? 16 long years. In another few my features would match my age for a time and then I'd race past in the other direction appearing much younger than I should instead. Nahuil was far older and still in his prime though. Perhaps Jacob was still growing stronger, as unfathomable as that was.
We each downed a doe, but before Jacob had finished mine was drained and I stalked the herd for another. I caught a buck this time which filled me. When I returned to him he was cleaning the gore from his muzzle. He turned a wolfish grin on me, tongue lolling. My man, my pet. Never a truer companion. He barked at me, turning toward home and I jumped on his overbroad back, twisting my pale fingers into his fur. He chauffeured me home this way, nestled between his giant shoulder blades. Home, our too small house on the La Push reservation. A home where enough people were in on the secret that we could live, agelessly, without much concern. A home with room to hunt, to roam. A home worth protecting, with friends and family. Well... most of my own family had moved on except Charlie, having outlived their appearance.
This had been one reason for my trip to Brazil. The family was vacationing together, escorting me to visit with Zafrina as my mother had promised I would. Alice and Jasper hadn't lasted long, the jungle didn't do much for her and Jasper followed wherever she went of course. I was honestly surprised my parents stuck around so long. My mother didn't seem much the jungle fever type either, but as far as I knew they were still there with the rest of the Cullen clan. I hadn't been ready to leave really, but Jacob needed me near. I could only imagine what my absence had cost him.
"So..." I prompted as I snuggled up against Jacob on the warn couch in our cozy living room. He raised an eyebrow as he flipped through channels of mostly static, his arm wrapped tightly around me. His warmth was so nice, I'd missed it. After a moments silence I sighed in mild exasperation, "Well?"
"Well what?" He asked, not turning his eyes from the TV.
"Was it a boy or a girl?!" I asked anxiously. He would have told me if something had gone wrong, wouldn't he? Claire was so tiny after all; she was nothing but belly when I left. And Quileute boys were monstrous even at birth. There had been 7 boys and 5 girls born to the pack since it had reemerged in the Quileute tribe. Plus one as yet unknown to me. I had been surprised to find out when Claire became pregnant. She and Quil had still been only best friends, siblings practically, and then one day she was pregnant. I wondered if there had been a build up they'd hidden from all but the wolves whose minds they shared, or if one day a switch had flipped. Maybe one day Claire had gone from child to woman and that was the end of that. Poor Quil had waited so long for her, so patient and dedicated. I pictured his face, beaming with pride and joy and love as he followed the pregnant waddling Claire around the reservation. They'd never had to cook after that, everyone wanted to feed them. It was the most endearing relationship I think I'd ever witnessed, and that's saying a lot.
Jacob's cheeks pulled into a lopsided grin, torturing me with his slow response. Well Claire and the baby were ok at least, I assured myself. I inclined my head to him, giving him the 'I'm the boss' expression that only sometimes worked. He laugh rocked us both, the joints in the couch complained against the motion. "Her name is Tibiti, 'strong'."
I clapped my hands together. 1 more point for the girls. Jacob laughed at my joy, the couch groaning in protest once more. "We can go and see her tomorrow. That kid's had a crowd around her since she was born. I don't think I ever saw a more beautiful baby. Well, except for you of course."
His eyes blazed into mine. I could see the love and devotion there, but it saddened me. I could read this man like an open book, he couldn't have been more transparent to me if I'd had my father's gift. He was reminding me just how long he'd been by my side, reminding me that anything I might have discovered in Brazil couldn't compare to what he had for me. Which I knew of course, silly man-boy-wolf. He'd missed me so much. It was heart breaking. Had he spent the entire time in wolf form? It wasn't beyond possibility. Maybe Seth would tell me how things had gone.
"You know, if Seth beats us," he interrupted my fretting, as though he'd plucked the name right out of my mind. Seth had yet to imprint or even find a steady girl, but he was perfectly happy with his place in the world and the tribe and the pack, so far as I knew. "he'll never let me live it down."
My anger flared. About 2 years ago Jacob began expressing his desire to start a family. A desire that I do not share. I want children, I think. But I'm certainly not ready for one yet. We have so much more time left in our lives for that, worlds more than anyone on earth has a right to. We are blessed with that gift, the both of us. I don't want to spend all of it looking after my progeny, I want to just live for a while. And there are other concerns. Sometimes I still think of the pack's children as pups, which disturbs me. It makes me feel.... species-ist. And how could I possibly be when the person I love more than my own life isn't my own species. But what would my child be? A venomous wolf boy? A sparkly porcelain fur ball? Would she survive birth? Could I even conceive? Did I really want the answers to these questions? It all seems so heart breaking to me. I am in no rush to subject myself, or my Jacob, to that.
He saw my expression before I could soften it for him. This was not a new quarrel between us. I hated talking about it. I hated denying him something he so dearly wanted, but I just couldn't bring myself to even consider it, yet. I knew it hurt and I had no desire to do that to him. If only he would leave it be, let me bring it to him in my own time. Stubborn, stubborn Jacob. He had returned his attention to the television, a fuzzy episode of some animated show. His face was smooth, but his tone belied his pain, "Forget it."