There are feelings which you can deny for as long as you want. You can turn your head the other way, avoid contact and even look him in the eye refusing to acknowledge the truth.
I could feel him right next to me. It was only a friendly dance, after everything we had been trough. That's what we had a nice friendship. I had lied to everyone. It wasn't that I did not like my boyfriend it was just that he never made my heart beat, or my breath stop like the person holding my hand.
I tried to appear mature and as responsible as everyone said I was, but deep down I was just another girl infatuated with him. Many dropped at his feet all wanting just a piece of him. But for me he had this smile, this true smile that no one ever could refuse. It was just for me.
My heels and his rhythm, I knew every eye was looking at us. But I couldn't care less, when in his presence I laugh and smiled. It felt so right. Feeling his hand in my waist and the rhythmic movement in his chest made my heart ache with longing.
When I was finally free from his arms I sat and watched as he approached other girls, far more beautiful than me. His charm won them instantly. Envy, jealousy and sadness overwhelmed me. Never before had I wished to be the sort of girl he took to meet his parents.
There were a couple of times while in potions, that he would just stare at me. When he thought no one was watching he would grab my hair and play with a curl. In those moments I knew there was something.
But now, as I see him dancing, neither of us is strong enough to fight what tears us apart. For blood will forever matter to him, and why should I risk it all for a doomed love.
At nights I pray he'll find a girl who will love him as much as I do, and if someone can love more than he deserves to be loved that way. May that girl be as beautiful as he is.
There was a time I wouldn't have settled but now, after all this time; after all I've seen, I know there are things that are never meant to be. A 17 year old boy may win a war, but a prejudiced mind does not bend.
The hardest thing is keeping him in my life. My petty revenge is that I know how hard it is for him to see me tied to someone else.