This idea randomly popped into my head about a week ago and I had to post it. I just love writing about Dean! Basically the brothers stopped Lilith from opening the seals and killed her. Sam never went evil but Dean, after all that happened to him in Hell and what he had to do basically gives up on life. I mean, after going through so much torture and having to torture souls, it would destroy a person! He can't deal with the guilt of what he did and Sam's helpless to save his brother. Then Castiel comes with a 'gift' for the brothers. He says he has a way to free Dean from the memories of what happened in Hell and brain damages him with his freaky angel powers. Sam's furious, he doesn't think that Dean is still his Dean anymore, that he's too changed. But Dean is still the same Dean deep down, he hasn't really changed all that much, Sam is just too angry to see that.
Well, I hope you guys enjoy this little idea I had. I was thinking of it being a one shot, but if people like it I can turn it into a multi-chapter fic if you guys want me to!
Dean was a wreck. Worse than a wreck. When they weren't moving it seemed almost all he did was lie in bed all day and sleep. They didn't even hunt anymore, just moved around. He no longer cared about his music, food or even car. It was like the enjoyments he got out of life were now gone. It was like now that Dean's mission to save the world was done, he couldn't deal with the memories any longer.
The one thing he did still care about was Sam. Hell and its memories couldn't take that away. He still watched Sam's back even though they weren't hunting, he would go out and get Sam food, but not food for himself, he would ask Sam if he was okay when he was feeling down.
But all of Dean's emotion, all of his personality, everything that made Dean Dean was gone, vanished. It was like Dean didn't feel anymore, like he was just an empty shell.
It wasn't like Sam could blame Dean though. After everything Dean had gone through in Hell for him it seemed only fit for Dean to have problems. Sam didn't think he himself could have lasted as long as he did, Sam probably would have killed himself right away from the memories.
Sam tried over and over again telling Dean it wasn't his fault. That Hell had made him torture the souls, had forced him to. He told Dean that he was still a good person, that he was such a great person, a hero.
But everything Sam seemed to say fell on deaf ears. Unless Sam cried out in pain Dean didn't seem to notice.
Dean had told him before that he didn't want to live like this, that he'd rather not feel anything anymore. And that seemed to be exactly what Dean was doing-refusing to feel.
Sam was trying to get Dean to eat again, but failing as always. Dean had been like this for a month and Sam didn't know how much more he could take.
When Dean didn't respond or move after Sam trying to get some food in him Sam threw down the food on the bed and went to get up.
He gasped in shock and almost fell over when he saw Castiel standing in front of him.
"What…what are you doing here…we helped you stop Lilith. Our job is over, what do you want from us?" Sam asked him nervously. He better not have another job for them to do, they were not his slaves.
"You're right your job is done. I'm not here to ask you of anything else. I am here to give you both a gift." He told Sam
"A gift? What kind of gift?" Sam asked skeptically.
"A gift of release." Castiel said and walked over to Dean. He placed both of his hands on either side of Dean's head. Sam watched in horror as some kind of electric light emitted from Castiel's hands and Dean's eyes rolled back in his sockets. And then, in a second it was over, Castiel was gently laying Dean down in the bed.
"What the hell are you doing to him?!" Sam screamed at Castiel, his whole frame shaking with anger
"I told you, I'm giving him a release." Castiel repeated
"A release?! What are you talking about? Electrifying him gives him some sort of release?! Are you crazy?!"
"Your brother has been haunted by his memories from Hell. The guilt, the pain and the torture was destroying him. You know that." Castiel told him in his calm voice
"Yes, I know that obviously!" Sam really just wanted to strangle the angel at this moment
"He couldn't go on living like that. It was killing him. He didn't deserve that and he didn't deserve what happened to him in Hell. He's a good man, your brother. I freed him from the memories of Hell." He explained
"You took out his Hell memories?" Sam asked him, starting to calm down just a bit.
Castiel shook hi head and laughed a little bit. "I can't take out only certain memories. No one can do that. Let's just say I….damaged him a little, brain damaged him."
"You WHAT?!" Sam growled "You BRAIN DAMAGED my brother?! How the hell does that make him better?!"
"Settle down." Castiel ordered and Sam found that he couldn't move or pounce on the angel like he waned to; he was frozen to the spot. "This way Dean will be able to live again. He will be able to be happy again and you will have your brother back."
"I won't have him back. He's brain damaged now! He's not the brother I know anymore!" Sam shook his head, tears coming to his eyes
"It's true that he will be different. He will be much more innocent, more like that of a child. His mind will be much simpler, which is why he won't be able to remember or understand what happened in Hell. But he will still be your brother, the same brother you always knew. I have no doubt that he will still love you like he always has, that he will still want to keep you safe. He will be different, but he's still Dean." Castiel explained
But Sam shook his head again. "You ruined my brother…you took him away from me!" He yelled
Castiel sighed; he was getting tired of Sam being so ungrateful. "Your brother was killing himself. I saved him and brought him back to you, maybe not exactly like he was, but I brought you your brother back. I didn't have to do anything. I could have just let Dean die from his guilt. But no, I came here and helped you. You should be thanking me."
"I can't thank you for doing this to him. I just can't." Sam told him
"You will be grateful one day. You'll see. Right now Dean needs you. Do not take your anger on me out on him." And with that he disappeared and Sam found that he could move again. Suddenly Dean moaned from the bed in front of Sam.
Sam rushed up to his brother and gently coaxed him awake. Hopefully this would just be one sick joke and Dean wouldn't be brain damaged…
Dean opened his eyes and blinked a few times. His eyes moved slower than usual and were filled with an innocence and curiosity that was never there before. Oh god…Dean couldn't be…
"Sammy?" Dean asked and it sounded so much like Dean's voice and then again it didn't. It still held that deep baritone pitch but he sounded like a lost child that didn't know what was going on.
"Yeah, it's me Dean. I'm right here." Sam told Dean softly and reached out to touch his arm. Dean's eyes slowly moved to follow Sam's arm and he smiled. Dean then reached out one of his hands with such shaky uncoordinated movement. It seemed that he was trying to grab onto Sam's other hand but he couldn't seem to make contact with it. He kept missing his target, his hand landing inches away from Sam's on either side.
Sam froze seeing his brother's movements so jerky and uncoordinated. It really hit him just then. His brother really was brain damaged, mentally impaired, whatever you call it, it didn't matter. All that mattered was the brother that he grew up with and loved was gone forever.
Sam stood up quickly then. He couldn't deal with this….these leftover pieces of Dean that had been forced into his life. He just couldn't take it.
"Sammy….where goin'?" Dean asked and cocked his head to the side. Those now innocent green eyes looking up to him.
Sam swallowed the lump in his throat but couldn't hold back the tears in his eyes when he heard his brother talk. Dean's words had come out so slow and kind of slurred, like he was having a little bit of trouble forming words into sentences. His Dean was definitely gone.
Sam spun around, not being able to look at the thing that looked like his brother any longer. After all this, after all they've been through; his brother was taken away from him….by the hands of an angel.
Sam grabbed the doorknob and was about to open the door when he heard Dean speak again.
"Sammy, I come too? With you?" He sounded so hopeful and excited. And then Sam heard him trying to climb out of bed with difficulty, falling over a couple of times. "Help, Sammy help….help please?"
Sam felt his heart shatter right then. He had to escape from this thing that was using his brother's voice, he had to get away before he was forced to turn around and help him. Before he got stuck believing that this thing was Dean.
He turned the knob and left the motel room, ignoring the voice that was crying his name.
So what do you think? Did you like the idea? It was going to be a one shot but I really don't want to leave Dean like that all alone…do you? Do you think I should make this into a multi-chapter fic?? Please let me know your thoughts! I would really appreciate it!!