Aftermath; part IV

Author's notes:
Woo extremely short update woo!

I have a report due on object-oriented analysis and design, but this was almost done to begin with and could be completed during a break. Plus, it's an interesting place to stop. :D

(nothrowingstuffplz. Also, way too much sugar and not enough sleep. Whee!)

"Dammit." There was a slight shuffle as Natsuki closed another book, and a sigh as she fell back in her seat and folded her hands behind her head, staring up at the ceiling of the library.

The short amount of time she'd spent online the night before had given her a few ideas for furthering her research. But even after spending two hours at the library once her remedial classes had ended, she had made precious little progress. The table in front of her was littered with books that all touched onto the subject of love in some way. From texts discussing the Greek concepts of philia, eros and agape, to romance novels, to pages and pages of poetry. Right in front of her was the now closed, translated version of Ovid's Ars Amatoria, which, like all the other ones, had provided very little actual knowledge.

"What you blush to tell," says Venus, "is the most important part of the whole matter."

She rolled the words around her head and traced the pattern in the ceiling as she thought. That, at least, was something she was able to decipher. You had to care about something in order to be embarrassed about it, so it made sense that the stuff that meant the most would also be the stuff that was the hardest to talk about.

Or to deal with in general, she considered, cutting her gaze off to one side as another library-goer dropped a book and was immediately shushed by a passing employee. So what did that mean in regards to all the blushes Shizuru had provoked in her over the years? Was it a sign that she felt more for the former Kaichou than she was comfortable admitting, or simply that the subjects Shizuru had teased her about had struck a little too close to home for her liking?

Well, that was the question for the ages, wasn't it? Natsuki hooked one knee around a table leg and set her chair to rocking back and forth slowly on its back legs. The problem was that even though Shizuru had certainly embarrassed the hell out of her plenty of times, she'd never really given that embarrassment a closer look. And now that she apparently needed to figure out the reason for feeling it in the first place, that annoyed her greatly.

Shizuru hadn't been the only cause of her blushing, especially not in the past few months, but the ones that the tawny-haired girl had brought out had always been stronger and more intense, so it was a pretty safe bet that Natsuki felt differently when she did it, as opposed to when Mai was the one responsible, for instance.

She didn't know in what way she felt differently, and the only way that she could figure that out... Well, that was by going through it again and forcing herself to look past the discomfort and examine its origins, wasn't it?

"I can't believe I'm actually doing this." She righted her chair with a thump and got to her feet, abandoning the slew of books and stalking out of the library.

She needed to visit the source of the problem. And outright ask Shizuru to tease her.

I'm never gonna live this down.