Edward's rules regarding Bella:

My Bella had been coming around the family for quite some time now and everyone (with the exception of Rosalie, of course) had gotten comfortable with her. In fact, a little too comfortable in some cases. Things had happened that I would prefer not happen again so I decided I needed to come up with some ground rules for my family when it comes to My Bella. Emmett is the primary motivation behind this set of rules because, well he's Emmett and I suppose he cannot help himself. Poor Bella, the troubling things she has experienced at his hands… or mouth (growl). (Calm yourself Edward.) Then there is Jacob… Well he just doesn't seem to understand how fragile My Bella is. I thought Charlie had put an end to their extreme sports weekends after the last visit to the hospital, but that damn dog just don't listen to anyone. If it wouldn't hurt My Bella so much I would just eliminate him altogether, but since she likes her pet I have to include him in this. I guess it's not so bad having him come to this meeting, I bet he's got at least one blonde joke to harass Rose with. And now it is time to gather everyone. First, I must call Jacob. This should be fun.

(ringing)

Jacob, "Hello?"

"Oh good, I'm glad you're home."

Jacob, "Hello bloodsucker, is Bella okay?"

"Yes she's fine, she is sleeping. I need you to come to my house we are having a meeting and I need you to be present."

Jacob, sarcastically "Ya okay, right, let me put on my best suit and tie and I'll be right over."

"Please Jacob, I'm serious, this is serious. I need to talk to everyone about Bella."

Jacob, "I thought you said she was fine?"

"She is, but she will be even better after this discussion. I have some rules regarding her well being to go over with everyone."

Jacob, laughing "Okay so this 'meeting' you're calling is about Bella's safety then? The vamp clan worried about a human's safety? Right."

Well now I was starting to get angry. I wish he had the Internet so I could have just e-mailed the rules to him. I say through my teeth, "Jacob you know damn well that I would never do anything to hurt her and I would give my own life to protect her so if you could please kill the sarcasm and come to my house, I would greatly appreciate it"

Jacob, defeated "Fine. Should I come now?"

"As soon as you can get here."